How do you know you are not compatible with someone?

Hello everyone,

Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AskPH here, as well as the Reddit Content Policy.

Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process here.

If you need to appeal a ban, please follow the process outlined here in r/AskPH.

This post's original body text:

In all aspects, like di lang kayo compatible.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

pag di niya gets humor ko, wth kanal humor is top tier oi !! 😤😤😤

You dislike them for no reason at all

Pag yun T ni (M) ayaw pumasok sa P ni (F)

hindi lang paninira ginagawa ng mga yan, they all do everything para lang mawalan ka ng over your own family

Lahat ng bahay, Yan Ang sagot

When you act a certain way but not yourself, just to please the other.

Your beliefs and values doesn't align.

The moment you can't be yourself kapag kasama mo sila. You can't be vulnerable or loud. You can't show your flaws. May fear of judgment.

When you feel like you're walking on eggshells pag nakikisalamuha sa kanya.

Kapag feeling ko uncomfortable ako kapag anjan sya kasi alam mo yun, kahit minsan matagal na pinagsamahan nyo pero nakakaramdam ka parin na parang mali ‘to or parang hindi pwede ito.

Pag yung sinasabi mo na gusto ko mag ipon/nag iipon ako para naman makapag travel ako after 2 yrs na working as dh here in saudi no vacay-day off. Yung palaging sasabihin yaman mo naman

Rent ka condo makikitira ako sayo

Kasama mo ako sa plano mo ha. Wag mo na sama mga kids sagabal lang yan saatin

Ayun binabaliwala kids ko. Isang pitik ko lang sayo e kaya kita ipagsawalanv bahala e

When a relationship becomes a liability

If you're not you whenever you with her/him.

Simple, iba kayo nang point view but the truth is, its so hard to let go of someone especially when u invest time, love, material stuff etc. sa tao

pag hindi na aligned ang goals niyo. it’s painful when you had great chemistry at first but eventually your differences becomes apparent :/

Making me feel anxious, and being judge by my actions.

When you feel annoyed more than you feel good with them.

When everything feels forced.

As a dyowa? Bye ✌🏻

As a tropa? Walakompake sa trip mo, KKB tayo palagi tsaka gawin mo lang gusto mo. Hindi naman ako maapektuhan nyan.

Kung wala kaming mapag-usapan. Kung hindi ako natatawa. Surefire signs yun sa 'kin ng incompatibility.

when you find yourself becoming someone you don't like while spending time with them. also, consider how you feel after hanging out with them.

don't ignore the red flags or don't compromise your values/individuality just for their benefit.

The mere fact that meeting up with them, for a date as example, tires the hell out of you already. Feeling mo makikipagbakbakan ka sa pag-iisip ng topic, pagtatago ng sariling kulit, at pag-eentertain sa presence nila. They eat up all your energy.

If masyado ka nag-aadjust para lang maipasok siya sa buhay mo. Biggest sample dyan yung change of lifestyle.

Im pretty sure this is self explanatory. Unless youre a masochist and deals with it

when you can't be you around them

she's taken.

Pag magakaiba kayo ng beliefs, stand in life, at core values. Tapos even worse if they are not willing to see from your perspective. Lost cause yan pag ganyan.

Pag di mo gusto yung lifestlye ng pamilya niya.

'pag sure kang mas masaya ka pa mag-isa vs kasama siya most of the time

Pag yung differences nyo mas marami pa kesa sa similarities at mapapaisip ka nalang if kakayanin mo ba yong ihandle in the long run. Nagiging cause kasi sya ng di pagkakaunawaan.

sobrang hindi natural yung usapan niyo, na parang palagi kang nag-iingat. promise, pag para satin talaga yung tao, may click kang nararamdaman.

Lagi kayong nag aaway at nagtatalo. Kahit napag usapan na ninyo, inuulit ulit pa rin. Kaya useless ung sinasabi nilang pag usapan. Pinapahiya ka sa harap ng barkada mo kahit na una mong nakasama barkada mo kaysa sa kanya

when you always get the ick o kaya lagi kang nagccringe. it's like your body's way of subconsciously telling you na maybe di kayo fit and pinipilit mo lang i-overlook yung mga aspects in which di kayo compatible

kapag uncomfortable ako around them. kapag hindi nila nirerespeto yung mga desisyon ko sa buhay

Gusto ko mang sagutin pero wala akong experience. First boyfriend ko is my now husband, so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with this. Charrrr! :)

If di nya kayang mag adjust for you or do the things na you wanted and vice versa.

Cringe ka lagi sakania haha

Kapag hindi mo pa kaya umutot sa harap nya

How they made you feel. Lalo sa dating pa lang. Like you have to pretend to be someone you don’t. You dont have to feel like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re with them.

Kung hindi ka na natural sa presensya niya. You feel like you are walking on eggshells.

When we don't have the same sense of humor. It says a lot kasi about a person's values, world view, politics, upbringing, interests, education and intelligence. 

di capslock tumawa

She's USB-C and I'm Lightning.

He says I’m annoying.

One of the factors is that they don’t get my humor 😭😭 well to be fair, I dismiss my trauma through jokes… and I do it often as a way to cope. Pahirapan nalang makahanap ng partner that wouldn’t be concerned—scared, even, sa mga sinasabi ko about myself.

If they say (hey let's go boom boom) and you're like yeah but no thanks I'm busy

When you have to bend some or all of your principles just to be with him/her. Yung ramdam mo na sa una na medyo hindi swak pero ginagawan mo ng paraan. Pero a no from tadhana is still na no kasi. (Ang arte ko dito) Pero totoo. Kahit anong pilit mo. Kung hindi talaga tinadhana para sayo. Hindi talaga para sayo.

Also. It shouldn't be hard. It shouldn't hurt from the start. Kasi honey moon pa eh. But still. Being with someone compatible with should be easy. Very easy. In terms of everything.

Different long term goals/ walang goals at all 💀

Type C sya Micro USB ka.

Different moral values

Kapag narcissist yung isa, yung isa naman forgiving

Gusto mong baguhin sarili mo para lang magustuhan ka nya.

Pag may non negotiables ka sa life and even if they seem great pero nilalabag nila ang non negotiables mo. That’s incompatibility. Lalo na if they aren’t doing it on purpose, it means they naturally operate a certain way na hindi match sa set standard mo. Should you lower it to accommodate them in your life? No. Bc it will only lead you to resent them down the road. Should you change them or teach them to be better? Also, no. That is something they need to decide and discover on their own. Changing them would mean you don’t accept them for who they are. So, once you clock it, thank them for their time. It was nice to meet you! Then move on.

Doesnt share the same enthusiasm as you do.

Pag feeling mo ang boring mong tao kapag kasama mo siya. Pag magkaiba kayo ng gusto sa life. Pag ang tanging dahilan bakit mo siya gusto is bc mabait/responsable/masipag siya. Trust me, you'll know kapag hindi kayo compatible.

I remember nung 2020, i installed bumble and met a guy. We dated for a few months lang kasi i always knew na we were not compatible. We tried to make it work kaya lang wala talaga kaming something in common. I realized tuloy na totoong opposites attract pero mahirap mag stay pag magkaiba kayo.

Different auras

*Acting to be perfect all the time pag kasama siya.

*I hate waiting, so I prefer to be early. Kapag palagi late sa usapan. Ekis na agad.

maisip mo pa lang sya nauumay ka na pag ksma mo nakaka ubos ng energy and hindi ka comfy

Pag ayaw pakain sayo yung balat ng chicken joy

When you can’t be yourself whenever u’re with him/her

mas masaya pa yung sumasabay ka sa mga barkada mo kaysa kasama mo yung jowa mo

Feels like a chore you have to maintain rather than something that feels intuitive and something you look forward to lol.

When you have to pretend to be someone else around them.

Pag isa lang sainyo yung nagshashare ng kwento or what. Hahah

When you don’t enjoy yourself when you’re with them. Yung hindi nyo napapatawa isat isa, di ka nya sinusuportahan sa mga goals mo, yung di ka rin nya pinupull to the side kung may mga mali ka. Yung someone you don’t really see yourself growing old with.

they drain your energy

When it's hard to be yourself when you're with them

When our life values and beliefs don't align 💯

Di ka your self, parang nagaadjust ka ng likes and dislikes for that person

Instinct lang. Your body and your mind will tell you na di talaga kayo compatible hahahaha kahit try mo i-negate yung gut feeling na yun andiyan pa rin yung feeling. Like uneasy ka lagi thinking about them and sometimes you just cannot trust yourself to fully open up to them kahit wala namang signs telling you not to 😭 when you know, you know

Trust your guts. Your intuition will tell you if the person is not for you especially when the vibe is not giving.

di match ang goals

DDS/BBM siya. Lmao

Kapag walang sense kausap. Gusto ko sa partner ay mentally stimulating yung makakausap ko about societal issues or philosophy.

when i feel like im forced to start a conversation or to get along with them

a lot of awkward and uncomfortable dead air.

Pag tinanong nya yung zodiac sign mo, kelan at saan ka ipinanganak

If I feel unsafe whenever ur with him

Kapag nag-away na kayo dahil sa pancit canton o indomoreng

kapag inaadjust mo lahat sa sarili mo para lang magwork yung rel and hindi narereciprocate in any way. nagkaclash yung mga pananaw niyo and hindi inaavoid pagusapan ang common grounds.

Zodiac signs.

Kidding aside, more on the following factors: religion/ politics/ finances/ laws etc

Constant disagreements over the silliest things

When you're feeling and knowing you're changing your traits/characteristics/personality just to vibe with them and left feeling super drained.

when values are not aligned.

mafifeel mo yan hahahhaha parang pilit na pilit yung vibe. +1 sa ginagaslight mo sarili mo kasi "okay naman siya" pero in the long run maddrain ka sobra kasi pilit nga. and mapapansin ng friends/fam mo yun if di kayo compatible.

Sex.

When you enjoy someone's company, time is never long enough. When the opposite applies, time is never short enough.

kapag lagi mo na ginagaslight sarili mo maintindihan at mavalidate actions niya.

“ayoko nung gantong lalaki pero you can’t have it all naman saka flaw lang yun” (20% ideal guy 80% flaw🤡) “baka antok lang siya kaya ayaw ako kausap” (nakita online sa discord naglalaro) “hindi nga talaga totoo yung ideal guy na yan” “ang hawak naman niya pero gusto naman namin isa’t isa so baka old mindset and probinsyana lang talaga ko kaya di ako sanay”

-me before hahaha katangahan na

if the energy or the vibe is weird

Walang common interests, contrasting beliefs and opinions, different values and principles, hindi makahanap ng common ground on things

Pag opposite kayo ng values and goals sa buhay. For example

You want kids --> gusto nya childfree

Gusto mo pinas lang --> gusto nya abroad

Gusto mo nag-iipon --> gusto nya gumastos

Pag una palang di ko na agad feel yung vibes

daming mong na discover na "pet peeve" sa kanya like yung diction pagnageenglish. Maarte pa nga pero mali mali diction. Ew

Parang awkward ang atmosphere that it becomes borderline uncomfortable.

the vibe isn't vibing

You feel uncomfortable. Walking on eggshells. Ung conversation is forced or one-sided.

when everything is forced. hiding your true self/ nagpapanggap ka to be someone na alam mong magugustuhan niya kahit na di ka naman talaga ganun at di mo kaya maging ganun.

You just don't see each other eye-to-eye everytime.

I had this guy that I thought I liked. We sometimes eat lunch together with our other friends and only those time that we eat lunch together I lose my appetite. Like three spoons, and I’m done. Crazy because without them, I can finish like 2 cups of rice. My body was really rejecting him and it took me a while to realize that that was the sign that we weren’t compatible.

Walang appreciation sa art and nature.

Corny ng sounds. Nakikiuso lang.

When convo is like an open ended one.

When you talked about something and you have this question: na bakit hindi kayo magmeet halfway? && malalaman mo lang yon if paulit ulit ka na sa ganong situation kase obviously hindi siya marunong makinig or it could be both.

Kapag hindi ko kaya mag-carry ng conversation with that person. Naka-depend sa energy and response ng tao 'yung feedback ko and kapag nasesense ko na we're not on the same page, tumatahimik at nagiging awkward ako

I actually had many cases where I find a person to be cute/nice from afar pero noong nagkaroon kami ng chance magkausap eh hindi magka-wavelength. Short convos are actually eye-opening kasi doon mo malalaman if same kayo ng interests, beliefs, etc.

Your body will reject them.

You just... feel it. Idk how to explain this but, darating din kayo sa certain point wherein the vibe is not the same anymore, the feelings rather. 'Yung tipong mas gusto mo na lang na hindi siya kausap instead of oo...

The vibes. Their thoughts and opinions na opposite sakin. Tapos di kayang makipag debate bakit ganon opinion nila.

Different or at most constrasting beliefs and opinions.

Halos ma ubos time and effort nyo ipilit to be in sync.

when you have ick on him/her

laging magkaaway, you're starting to hate each other, you can't stand each other's actions anymore, you don't talk like you used to, you don't have sex anymore, less time na din sa bawat isa...

When a certain amount of time has passed, and you are still not comfortable and resolved with how they act/think/etc.

Magkaiba kami ng opinion on things that matter. We can't compromise kasi these are the things innate to us. We can only change so much.

Opposite view: when the two of you can sit in silence without it being awkward

When you feel the necessity of hiding and repressing parts of yourself. This applies to both friendships and romantic relationships.

Conversation does not flow naturally, actions are forced, you hold back emotions, afraid ka ipakita true self mo ganon..

Different values and principles in life, lagi lang kayo mag aaway

Iba kayo ng goals and priorities

If he's not reciprocating my energy (not even trying) and if I am ALWAYS carrying the conversation.

Lust

Parang pilit na pilit yung connection/interaction. Hindi natural yung flow ng vibe. If it makes sense. Haha

Lahat nalang ng bagay issue 😂

This is the broadest and most general answer I can give: if they don't have the time and energy to invest into growing the friendship. And also if iba yung values and goals nila.

Swiftie o kaya tiktoker

religion muslim sya ako catholic

kahit pareho ng trip sa mga bagay bagay pero di niyo maenjoy.

When you’re trying to pretend around them just to please them

Once na magkaiba tayo ng:

1. Political Stance

2. Opinion about life

3. Pag intindi sa mga kanal at imburnal humor lol

Hindi tayo compatible nyan.

Di kayo magkasundo sa mga non negotiables mo. Maaaring mahal nyo ang isa't isa pero magkaiba lang gusto nyo sa buhay.

Laging nag cclash

Bawat kilos mo iniingatan mo kase ayaw mong maoffend o may masabi siya

No common hobbies, different lifestyle, kahit maliliit na bagay pag aawayan.