How do I give a best man speech?

Its 60% talking them up, 20% wishing them well because you know they'll succeed, 10% reliving the past, 9% making fun of the groom and 1 joke at the bride.

Don't say anything will stop the marriage.

Every best man speech I've seen was; Explaining a situation where the best man knew this was his best friend or a person he wanted to be around with. Usually a serious situation then a comical situation. Tell the wedding how much the partner means to the groom and give a story. Tell a few jokes that are light pokes.

Absolutely do not proclaim your attraction for the bride like at my cousin's wedding.

There will be some guides and examples you can google.

Short and sweet. Heartfelt warm and fuzzies - avoid inside jokes and don’t make either of them look bad. Just talk about how much you love them, how great they are together, and how their love is an inspiration. Easy peasy. 

Please whatever you do. Write it down.

Drunk or hungover is the best was to give a speech.

-talk about how you know the groom, for those that may not know you

-talk about when you were around the bride and groom when they first started dating

-talk about when you realized they were perfect for each other and eventually going to get married

-give them best wishes

Don't give a speech. Tell stories. Telling stories is easier, and people love stories.

I recently did a father of the bride speech, so if there is anything that you can take from it, please do so.

Started off congratulating the crowd...they were the special, chosen guests who mean the most to the bride and groom.

I then said some nice things about how beautiful the wedding was, and congratulated my daughter on her choices. I noted how much work went in to helping pick out and managing vendors to my wife. Thanked a number of other people who helped out with bridal showers and so on.

I sort of went "meta" on the next part, noting that this was the part of the speech where I make uncomfortable jokes at the bride and groom's expense, but I was going to use a pre-AI device that has helped millions of people to make decisions in the past...and brought out a Magic Eight Ball and asked it questions like, "should I make fun of my new SIL?" and then would riff off of the responses. I tried to make it funny and light-hearted.

I've heard dozens of wedding speeches and literally no one wants to hear you cryptically mention some inside joke or say, "I wasn't sure about the bride being right for my boy here..."-type stuff.

If you're not naturally funny, be polite and heartfelt.

Thank people putting it on. Compliment the bride tastefully. Make some jokes about the groom. Follow up with something heartfelt about groom. Toast.

Here is my speech for my brother 10ish years ago

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

Sorry, wrong speech. <shuffle card>

Hello, my name is Lurk and I am Groom's older brother. I would like to thank everyone for being here. When Groom first asked me to be his best man, I was honored and a little afraid because I really did not know what my duties entailed. After a little research this is what I found:

1) Bring a checkbook and credit card for those final payments that the groom may have forgotten. Well knowing Groom’s famous organizational skills and lack of current cashflow, I made sure to call my bank before I left to have them increase my limit.

2) On the night before the wedding, make sure the Groom is well looked after and gets a good nights sleep. I am proud to be able to report that Groom slept like a baby last night…. About four and a half hours in total, waking every thirty minutes crying for his mommy.

3) Help the groom dress. A tricky one this, you would have thought that a grown man of 24 years would be able to accomplish this relatively simple task himself…. But after half an hour struggling I think we’ve done quite well. In our defense, these tuxes are more complicated than you would think, even the handkerchief has special instructions.

4) Ensure that the Groom uses the bathroom (I have to admit to a slight dereliction of duty there – I didn’t watch too closely), that he ties his shoes, has his face and hair in order (I did my best there, but as you can see we were probably fighting a losing battle from the start), and has nothing between his teeth (or should that be his ears)

5) Bring a medical bag with the following items for emergencies: - Aspirin, Antacid, Deodorant, breath mints, and those hand-warmers you use for November football games. Why hand-warmers you may ask? They are to be put in his shoes incase he starts developing a case of cold feet. Luckily, that was not needed

Looking back at the required duties, then shouldn’t our mom be the best man?

Groom, you and I have always gotten along. Although this has not always helped our cause. When we moved the four kids had to fit in 3 bedrooms, so 2 of us had to share. Well Mom and Dad try to be as fair as possible, often to a fault, so the plan was that the girls would share at first, and then every 6-12 months we would swap. After the first swap Groom and I got along much better than our sisters that we continued to share the room until I moved out of state – 13 years later.

Bride, as someone who has shared a bedroom with Groom for many years let me tell you this; when he cleans the room, check under the bed to make sure he did not just push all of the mess there.

Groom, when you went to college, I have to admit I was a little disappointed. You chose Michigan State. As a Michigan grad, this was a betrayal. Family's go to Michigan – ask Mom, Dad, myself, all 4 grandparents, both of dad's brothers, even Sister now. I have to admit now that things turned out alright. I mean you met Bride and made it to medical school.

Groom, once you met Bride, you seemed to be inseparable. Every time I came back to Michigan to visit it seems like she was also there. The only time that I do not remember seeing her, she had a good excuse – She was in Germany for a summer of study abroad.

Let me close with a blessing:

May God grant you the serenity

To accept the things you cannot change;

The courage to change the things you can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Ladies and Gentleman will you raise you glasses.

To the new Mr & Mrs couple: may you always live happily ever after

I had the privilege to be best man, as well as asked to say something about the groom, half of my speech was heartfelt, experiences, his love for the bride, his transformation when he fell in love. The other half was pre scripted, some thoughts on there future, parted ways with my BF, and expressed my love and respect I had for the groom.

Write drunk and edit sober. If it worked for Hemingway it'll work for you

You can poke fun at the groom in a lighthearted way. If you are telling a story, particularly one that not everybody knows (1) don’t out the relationship in jeopardy, obviously (2) get to the punchline quickly.

Also, if you are writing the speech on your phone, (1) make sure your screen doesn’t darken or go to sleep and (2) add a blank line after every sentence or two. Otherwise it’s very easy to lose your spot.

Finally, practice it a few times and time it. The maid of honor can do a tear-jerker, the best man needs to drop a couple jokes, says that the bride is his better half, and keep it light and fun.

needle the groom, flatter the bride, keep it under 60 seconds

Just the typical Drunk Shit Faced Wedding Speech where you talk smack about your ex and why Jessie's girl is better. Ramble on Aimlessly until someone yells at you to be done

• Krep it short and sweet; it's about them, not about you. Don't make it your moment.
• Have a beginning, middle, and end.
• At the beginning, introduce yourself, and thank the parents of the partners or anyonr else special.
• End your speech with a toast - look up beat man toast quotes online, and choose one that fita your speech (or build your speech around one).
• Practice your speech.
• Practice your speech. -Practice your damned speech!

You'll be alright. Don't overcomplicate it and you'll do great.