Most can take a bad joke; most can take a low brow tasteless joke. Heck most people can take an offensive dark joke, but Asian parents say some of the vilest things to another person especially their kids and pretend that it is a joke, thinking they can get away with it and when they don't it is our fault for not understanding "humor". Joke or not you don't get a pass for saying those kinda things just because you were pretending to be funny.
It is absolutely disgusting that Asian parents think they can say the most vile things to you and say it was it was a joke when it clearly wasn't.
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Yes, this seems to be a theme for various APs I know, including my own.
My own male parent, who physically abused me when I was a child I generally hate being touched as an adult (at large, I'm healing now), can and have airily make physically abuse joke.
I love that for him. 💀
Yeah, and not to make light of what they do but when they "joke" the jokes aren't funny. Yes, humor is subjective, but it is like you say the vilest about me and you couldn't even make it funny. If you are gonna insult me, be clever about it.
I think many APs don't grasp that some jokes are, indeed, aren't funny at all. But I don't think they have that awareness or sensibility.
Imagine being an abuser and making a joke of your own abuse to the very person you abuse, like...? ðŸ˜
One of the first moments I realised how messed up it is was when my partner and I watched "Tenet" and I shrivelled at the scene where the abusive husband took out his belt to abuse his wife. It was so freaking vivid.
The belt will always traumatize me it felt like I was lashed.
I understand that feeling. I was literally shaking upon that scene, even though I was with a very safe man, an adult (had been living there for a couple of months), and in a whole different continent to my male parent.
The funny thing is that my partner wears a lot of jeans and belts, but that scene made me realise that he never really took off his belt in front of me, therefore never triggering me before that.
I remember his shocked expression to what might be such a simple scene for others.
I even remember where my male parent used to hang his dress pants, where the belt was, the black colour of the leather belt, the silvery colour of its steely part... I have a lot of work to do.
And he still dare to joke about physical abuse. 😢