Ambushed wife who’s allergic to seafood
This may be rage bait (smug smile, calling a woman’s reasonable reaction to someone being a jerk a tantrum, blaming loved one for ‘depriving’ them of something that can’t be helped) but I’ve dated at least one shower plug hole slime excuse for an adult who would have found this hilarious.
An Ex of mine loved to joke about hiding meat in dishes knowing I don’t eat meat and got very frustrated when I had to read ingredient labels or call restaurants in advance to check about the common ingredient I was allergic to was used.
The “selective palate” part says real to me, considering how many posts I’ve seen where the spouses and families of allergic people don’t believe it’s an actual allergy, try to “test” it, and end up with the allergic person on the way to the ER.
Sadly true and I’m annoyed at the amount of times I’ve been told not to lie about being on a diet because I had to ask about a common ingredient I’m allergic too.
It's even worse when you're allergic to a food group, but it's to varying degrees. My husband was skeptical about my shellfish allergy at the beginning of our relationship because I could eat shellfish if I took an antihistamine, and also some molluscs affect me while others don't (I can eat oysters and clams no problem, but mussels and scallops irritate me with just the smell).
Some people don't understand (or don't want to--I really don't know what's so hard to get) that not all allergies are to a dangerous level but that it's still best to avoid an irritant or limit exposure. Also that some allergies worsen or get better over time, or even suddenly develop out of nowhere.
I am technically allergic to raspberries.
I had one really bad reaction as a kid and the doctors said that I can either become anaphylaxic or grow out of it. Thankfully, it's really easy to avoid raspberries and I mostly grew out of it. My reactions are mild but sometimes it depends on how it's prepared.
In my accidental poisoning, eating raw raspberries can make my mouth itchy and have a slight reaction in my throat. Usually, I don't have an issue if it is cooked as a jam. I also learned the hard way that raspberry flavoring is used a lot more than you think and is often hidden in 'natural flavorings'.
My little brother is allergic to the melon group watermelon, cantelope, melon, he gets rashes when he eats them but some of our family think that since he doesn't go into aniphalaxtic shock when he eats them it's not an allergy. Sure it won't kill him when he eats them but he still gets very uncomfortable hives.
I totally get where you’re coming from with this! I just recently found out I am allergic to seafood in general but shellfish is the worst… pissed me off cause I love lobster and crawfish… I wasn’t allergic for most of my life and now boom out of the blue I eat seafood my throat is itching like mad, I eat shellfish of any kind it’s where’s the epi pen and call 911 she’s anaphylactic! And some folks don’t believe me because I never had food allergies before… 🙄
My shellfish allergy is one that worsened over time. Shrimp went from being my favorite food, to making my mouth feel weird, to giving me full body hives, to sending me to the ER in anaphylaxis over the course of a couple of years.
Jumping in here to say I’m sorry about your POS ex.
I’m a vegetarian, no allergies, and not great about checking menus ahead of time. It’s not a big deal to me because I’m not a foodie, so as long as I plan ahead enough to not get too hungry (and I am good about that), I don’t mind going to restaurants that don’t have much I can eat. My husband is a foodie, so he checks every menu every time. We travel at least once a month. No matter where we are, he checks.
Before anyone thinks it should be simple just being a veggie, I live in Texas. My husband started doing this after I had to go to a staff lunch at a barbecue restaurant. They didn’t even have sides I could eat beyond a small side salad with one vegetarian dressing. The server didn’t understand, which was fine if a bit frustrating. Baked potatoes are often rolled in bacon grease and salt for preservation. Caesar dressing includes anchovy paste. They had Mac and cheese, but it had bacon pre-mixed in. This is why I keep snacks everywhere. My husband calls ahead 🤷🏼♀️
Ah the pain of the only veggie things on the menu being mostly packet salad or maybe chips if you’re lucky and even then it’s a similar problem to the grease …
Your husband sounds like a good egg :)
It does entirely depend on where in Texas you live. I’m in the Greater Austin area and my best friend is vegetarian and I’ve taken him to two separate beer gardens that feature sausages and both times there have been multiple vegetarian options to choose from. In fact, it’s rare that we don’t have too many choices verses not enough.
My husband hates onions and I have been able to accommodate him for 26 years. I didn't argue when he told me this back when we were first together. He's fine with me using onion powder. I swear some people take it as a personal attack on them if you don't like someone.
I'm that way with mushrooms. Even the tiniest sliver will make me throw up. Thankfully (?), my mom was lactose intolerant and as a child, and her family consistently forced her to drink milk, which caused her to throw up daily. So when I was a kid, we had to try new foods, but if we didn't like it (and had legitimately tried to eat it), she never forced us.
This is how it should be done. My kids have to at least try everything a couple times before I accept the I don't like it. I'd never force them to actually eat something they don't like though. Causes so many food issues later in life. Even though brussel sprouts have been genetically modified to taste better since I was a kid I still refuse them as an adult because I was forced to eat them even though they made me throw up every time.
Aye. Maybe for kids they should try again in a year or two if it's not an intolerance, but other than that, try and learn what they like, then act on it
Yea I've run the gambit on green beans with my 15 year old. He can choke down broccoli now but a few years ago he would literally gag. He needs his veggies so I've pushed a little on the greens he can manage because I just want him to be healthy.
My daughter is a dream and eats stuff I don't even like lol. My poor boy hated green beans as a baby when they were pureed. I've tried every few years to re introduce them and he always faithfully tries them and then immediately gags and can't keep them down. He's 15 I'm done trying lol.
I’ve seen so many people believe allergies are just pickiness or from not eating the food so their bodies “aren’t used to it.” People would say that about my kids anaphylactic allergy and I’d lose my mind.
I work in the restaurant industry and I think some people there are "burnt out" from having multiple experiences with people who will come in and say I'm allergic to [ingredient], you go out of your way to make sure their food has no contact with [ingredient], get the cooks to sterilize everything for that meal, and then find out later that they just said they were allergic when they aren't cause ??? Example: says they're allergic to tomato, douses fries in ketchup, you say "uhh hey that's made of tomato?" and they tell you "oh I just wanted to make sure you didn't put it on my burger cause I hate it." People do these things and they're annoying.
That said, you should ALWAYS give people the benefit of the doubt because it's SO MUCH WORSE to test what turns out to be a real allergy/intolerance than to just put up with what turns out to be someone being annoying. I recently had a customer where I work strongly emphasize that she COULD NOT have gluten and then order a beer, super glad I asked her if she knew most beer contains gluten cause it turned out she was a recently diagnosed celiac who had no idea. That would have been bad enough, sometimes these things can literally kill a person.
Sorry for the rant, I feel really strongly about this subject lol - tl;dr: I honestly get why people can be skeptical but it's just not a subject you can afford to be skeptical on. Don't fuck with people's food.
ETA: I know that sometimes a person reacts to a raw ingredient but not when it's cooked/processed, that's not what I was talking about here. There are more people than you'd think who will straight up tell you after the fact that they lied about the allergy when you see them using said ingredient and check to make sure that's the case for them (since sometimes people don't know everything that might contain it - see beer and gluten)
I should note that there are in fact people out there who are allergic to tomato but can eat tomato sauce. Processing and heating certain foodstuffs changes them significantly, and allergic to raw but not cooked, or vice versa, is a very real thing that can happen.
I actually learned that from a friend who has that with mango! Something about cooking processes denaturing certain proteins iirc. That is totally valid.
What I was referring to specifically here is people who tell you they're allergic to something, use said ingredient, and when you panic about possibly needing to call an ambulance they sort of laugh it off and tell you they were lying. This happens more often than you'd think and it's really annoying cause if you tell me you just don't like onion, I'll have your food made without onion, but there's a HUGE difference between that and sterilizing everything your food may come in contact with in terms of effort for the cooks (I like my cooks)
Yep. My friend's kid is allergic to onions unless they are caramelized. Something about what happens to onions when they are caramelized renders them safe.
It probably breaks down the protein or whatever that causes the reaction. Once you cook something down like that its nature and I guess "contents" for lack of a better word change significantly.
My mom couldn’t eat raw tomatoes – she would get little bumps and sores in her mouth when she did. But cooked tomatoes, spaghetti sauce or jarred salsa, were fine
I only have a bad sesame intolerance to toasted sesame oil so not ALL things with sesame with cause we to run to the bathroom but a certain oil definitely will.
In my case I am allergic to citric acid. I handle fresh citrus fruits better than processed. For instance, raw tomato on a salad won't upset my asthma like say tomato sauce or citrus flavorings (because citric acid is usually added on to that as a preservative/flavor enhancer).
Food reactions can be complicated. That's why I try to emphasize that you should always give people the benefit of the doubt on what they're living with. Like I once (at a different restaurant from where I am now) had someone say they were allergic to all fresh herbs or something, relayed that to the kitchen and was told "no they're fucking not." I'm like "okay, I agree that sounds weird and unlikely, but what if they are? Just leave them off." If they're lying and we make food without them, worst case scenario is they get some bland dish they don't like. If they're telling the truth and we ignore them, they get sick or possibly die. You gotta prioritize correctly lol
Oh no I totally agree. I have a cousin who used to do that at restaurants until I lost my shit at her about it. She thankfully stopped. The industry is hard enough on y’all without Assholes doing that. I explained what places have to go for her bullshit and then turned it around and asked how she’d like it or a contractor came in and demanded all these things of her. Just say you really don’t like something!
I have gotten raised eyebrows about my kid’s allergens before but usually showing the epipen we have to carry around clears that up and I always apologize so much. Thankfully they’re good at managing their allergies themselves too so we thankfully haven’t run into any issues. Sometimes they might need a few Benadryl but that’s the worst of it since we discovered the allergy.
I appreciate your empathy but it also makes me sad that you feel like you need to apologize to anyone. Uncommon allergens are a thing and any restaurant worth being in business will either take the necessary measures, or be upfront about any limitations they might have in doing so. It's part of our job and should never be an issue to do so when it's needed. Frustrating when people take advantage of that for sure, but not frustrating enough to justify throwing caution to the wind was my point (if that makes sense.) I'd rather have 10 people "get one over on me" than make one sick and that should be the universal attitude on it for anyone working with food imo
I didn’t have to do it too often and it was mostly when the kiddo was younger since a lot of kids meals came with fruit, the main allergen for them.
I worked retail and phone support, so I try to be empathetic to service industry and customer service people. I know how rough that shit can be. I’m the one putting clothes back in the store or refolding pants I looked at!
Thank you for your empathy and understanding with it and I hate that people abuse it.
Of course :)
People like that is why a server didn’t take me seriously and I almost died that day from my shellfish allergy.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. People like this probably caused the skepticism but tbh that's no excuse for the server. Speaking as one myself, I've never worked at a restaurant that DIDN'T emphasize the severity of not taking allergies seriously in training and shellfish is one of the "Big 8" (also right up there with peanuts in terms of being most known for life-threatening reactions.) I wish no ill will on anyone, but if you don't take someone seriously about a shellfish allergy you should be barred from working in restaurants just in the interest of public safety
Amen, I've worked in food my whole life, and I insist that my team take any request seriously, regardless of how silly it may sound. When it comes to an allergen, I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'd hate for one of my guys to be responsible for someone ending up in the hospital over something completely preventable.
It is the only sane way to prioritize
Whenever I'm ordering takeaway, I always ask for no mushrooms, but make sure to add "not allergic, I just hate them. I can pick them out if it's a huge problem."
I would suspect most restaurant workers like you lol
I read the "selective palate" bit to be a jab at her not liking the soggy sandwich but your point makes it so much worse.
Well he makes that comment, he is highly critical of the fast food. His one comment is also not understanding why she wasn't satisfied with the amount of food she had available to eat as it was an appropriate proportion, and according to him should have been more than enough to be filling or something like that.
He deleted it so I can't easily copy it here.
But it screams almond mom behavior with trying to control how much, what kind of food, etc that she eats. I bet the real issue with the Italian place is "carbs bad" in his head, not that he can't get seafood/fish there.
Because generally, the quality of the raw ingredients is going to be the same in the same locations if they are a similar enough level of restaurant. There was no talk of reservations, so couldn't have been that high end.
Lactose intolerant here. People are assholes.
I've heard, "I didn't believe it was THAT bad" too many times. "It is just a little milk" is always wonderful to hear as well.
Or death.
There was a story on here where a MIL used coconut oil on a Redditor’s daughter and she died from it because she was deathly allergic to it. And yes, MIL knew that she was allergic but decided that “mother knows best” despite being a grandmother.
I have had this done to me a couple of times, but I have coeliac disease, so the reaction isn't immediate. If I eat gluten, around 12-24 hours later, I get a rash, joint pain, migraine, stomach cramps, brain fog, and a general all-around feeling of absolute shit. The response was sort of an "a-ha I knew it wasn't serious" reaction because I wasn't immediately puking or on my way to the hospital.
People suck and there is good reason I am a cat lady these days!
Right? Not eating something you're allergic to or just can't tolerate isn't having a selective palate. A selective palate would be eating only a few things and nothing else. Does he even like his wife? He takes her to a restaurant where she's allergic to almost everything. He's a selfish AH.
Right? This gave me serious "Coconut Grandma" vibes.
I have a tomato allergy. However, I can eat certain tomato sauces. I know which tomatoes set off my allergy too.
I was taken to an Italian oven once by a guy who then ordered for me. The guy knew my allergy but said for one night I can stop faking it. The dish had cold cherry tomatoes on the plate, so I cut one in half, and pressed it to my wrist while asking the waiter for ice and if they had apple cider vinegar. The blister that formed was rather juicy.
Never heard from that guy again, and I still have the mark on my wrist.
But that restaurant did have the most delectable creamy pesto gnoochi so I did go back there.
I hope the blister is worth the story? (To me it totally would be.)
In my time knowing what Cherry Tomatoes do to my skin, I have deliberately put them on my body a total of four times. The wrist was the last time I ever needed to. I met my husband two months later, and never once has my allergy been tested or questioned. Maybe due to the blister taking nearly a year to fully heal, or maybe because he just listened, either way, but 22 years strong with him.
The other three timers were also to escape situations. One was to leave a party where they started doing drugs, I was 17. Another was to avoid going to the wedding of a guy who worked my Aunty's pub, who would get handsy after one sip of alcohol and blame the alcohol for it, and the third time was so I could get out of a two week Work Retreat, with a company I found out was a MLM while avoiding the Retreat.
I have offered to use my allergy for good in the past, but I was told that the older I get, the slower the recovery for the skin reaction, but ingesting is still same amount of time, just more scary.
That's a boss move, although I'm sorry you had to do it. How did he react?
He pretty much said I was embarrassing him and that I didn't need to be so drastic.
Back in those days, I was a bit more allowed to have red flags, but when my allergy was in question, I would show them. The guy was a sort of pity date, and up until the part where he ordered for me, it was going ok. As in, I was feeling guilty that it was a pity date, and was angry with myself for being that way... but he lost all pity and empathy in that moment.
Embarrassing him by... showing him the consequences of his actions. What a complete wanker.
Oh he was a true knob jockey, but I was young and stupid and thought "Hey throw him a bone". I remember telling my room mate about it, and he told me that this is why women shouldn't pity date, we end up with a bad time.
"How dare you demonstrate how wrong I was!"
I have a tomato allergy. However, I can eat certain tomato sauces. I know which tomatoes set off my allergy too.
how do you know which, just trial and error?
I ask because my wife has a similar allergy, although she won't get blisters like you described. mainly just a crazy itchy rash on her shins, but other than like indian food or my salsa, she doesn't eat tomatoes enough to know if certain ones affect her more than others.
Strangely, my entire life, I refused tomatoes. But tomato paste based foods, I was ok. When I was 16, I went with my great-grandmother back to Poland for a heritage holiday around Europe. We went to Spain, and it was during that tomato festival, I remember getting hit in the back, and the pain, then I remember a guy picking me up, and my great-grandmother and him racing me to a tap. Then it got fuzzy for a few days, 4 weeks in hospital, and in that time, they did a prick test of tomato
When I got back home to Australia, I found out that the prick test showed I was skin reactive to all, but Santorini, San Marzano, Campari, and Roma tomatoes. But only Roma, Campari, and Santorini tomatoes are the only ones I can eat in paste form. But it has to be the traditional way of making the paste where vinegar is added in the cooking process.
Some reason vinegar is important.
Another thing to remember is that Gout is mistaken as an allergic reaction, as tomatoes are Gout triggers. Also, allergic reactions are claimed to be Gout reactions.
Find a good allergist, just don't find out during a tomato festival how bad 😅
Wow, that's all very interesting. Crazy how varied nightshades can be. and yeah, she hasn't done any testing, but hasn't ever shown any interest in it as she just avoids tomatoes completely for the most part.
She might have a relative who can't have potatoes, and possibly allergic to marijuana, it is weird how that is in the mix, but yeah
I myself have an oral tomato allergy, related to my grass allergy. And there is a single cultivar I can consume raw, it's cultivar SX387 from Spain, it has a brand name and it's sale and growing is highly regulated. Thankfully it is a good tomato.
so I cut one in half, and pressed it to my wrist while asking the waiter for ice and if they had apple cider vinegar. The blister that formed was rather juicy.
Legendary.
I'm allergic to bananas, I've had two people try to hide some in something they've made because they didn't believe me. Luckily I carry an EpiPen just in case. One of them was extremely apologetic and cried their eyes out when I started shouting that my throat could actually close. Apparently they thought ("if anything") it was more of a skin rash and maybe hives. The other, I'm told, to this day still thinks I'm exaggerating for attention (why I would chose bananas for attention and not nuts or wheat I don't know). What they were going to do if I died I'm not sure.
That I will never understand, someone tells me they have an allergy and I remove it from my home and no one gets to eat it. Once or twice I have said that I miss a certain food and they'll tell me it's ok because they get an upset tummy or they get a little itchy or something, but I don't know that the next time will be the one that pushes it past that. I have just very recently started eating some of those foods at restaurants so I'm not worried about contaminating my kitchen but I can still enjoy the foods I miss. It is so easy to just not feed someone a food that makes them feel bad.
There is a high chance that a restaurant that offers one meal that doesn't have seafood will simply say they can't accomodate a seafood allergy though. That is a ton of sanitizing everything they need to use for one meal, and the risk of cross contamination is huge. This guys is way to proud to say that he apologized at the end or to ask if he did something wrong, if it is even close to true it's a brag post and exaggerated to make himself feel bigger.
That is a ton of sanitizing everything they need to use for one meal, and the risk of cross contamination is huge.
yeah, I have a friend with a severe shellfish allergy, and he can't even be in the same room as it because he'll start getting tingly in his throat and itchy. no one should have their allergies dismissed like that, especially when it can potentially be fatal.
And seafood allergies are notorious for triggering anaphylaxis with being in the same room!
My mom’s husband insists on going to seafood places even though she is allergic. I believe it.
the "I just smiled..." tells me its rage bait
Yup. "I just smiled", "I said calmly" and "twins" are the holy trinity of fake AITA posts.
My response to someone telling me they will slip meat into my food is to look at them very seriously and say "thank you for letting me know that it is never safe to eat something that you have touched."
I have made some people really angry with that line, and I am thankful they tell on themselves before I am made sick by their sUpEr FuNnY jOkE. I also stick to it. I only eat food from people I trust and restaurants.
If this is real, the world would be a better place without OP. If it's rage bait, the world would be a MUCH better place without OP in it.
People who write trash just to be trash are trash.
one shower plug hole slime excuse for an adult
New insult unlocked.
Yeah I am allergic to seafood too and I’ve dated guys like this. “Just try it!”
Yeah- This has got to be fake or the husband genuinely hates his wife. I can’t eat dairy and unfortunately it’s more restrictive than you think in terms of what I can order at a restaurant and my wife is hyper aware of it (even more so than I am)
I truly believe that no real post includes the phrase " I had checked the menu online beforehand, which is how I knew such things."
My father blew up at me a few times for only ever being able to eat "where you want". Due to my numerous allergies. Thing is, whenever I go to where they want I literally can't find anything to eat and then they rage I am making them feel bad. I couldn't win one way or the other! So people like this exist, unfortunately
He sounds like my mother's second ex with her allergy to chicken.
Why are these guys even married?
So they have access to someone they can bully and harass?
I hope this post was make believe.
Ok I will pretend it is real. You know what you do when there is a new restaurant you want to try but your wife is allergic to most of their food? You go with someone else.
I actually used to know someone who is deathly allergic to shellfish, and was taken to Red Lobster for an anniversary. So… I hope this is fake. But there are real people out there like this.
I was eating out at Olive Garden and a lady at the table next to me had a garlic allergy. Maybe she wasn't the person they were treating to a meal out, but still what the hell?
and was taken to Red Lobster for an anniversary.
hopefully they at least got a pepsi.
Pretty sure they ended up in anaphylaxis and at the ER.
Anybody remember a Simpsons episode where Homer wanted to go to an all you can eat seafood place, and Marge was allergic to seafood... so he takes her there, of course. Looking at the menu, everything has fish in it.
She asks the waiter, "How about the bread? Does that have much fish in it?"
"Yes ma'am."
"...I think I have a TicTac in my purse."
"Excellent choice, ma'am."
"Does this sound like the actions of a man who had ALL HE COULD EAT?"
Sorry I just had to bring out that quote.
You go by yourself. He doesn’t need a baby sitter well maybe he does.
Or just go alone. Normalize eating out alone.
It has to be fake. I mean how dumb can OOP be? I've known some pretty dumb people in my time, but most would understood that someone, much less their spouse, said "I'm allergic to "x" food" would mean "let's not go where they serve just your allergen on the menu."
Much as this particular post strikes me as fake, not understanding allergies and just how bad they can be is incredibly common and this scenario (taking someone to a restaurant they can’t dine at because their allergen is so common there) is sadly not out of the realm of reality.
I'd be reluctant to describe this man as 'dumb'. While the post could be fake, people like him definitely exist, and the issue isn't their intelligence.
The problem isn't that he doesn't understand his wife is allergic, it's that he's so absurdly self-centred, controlling, and entitled he actually thinks he deserves praise for taking her allergy into 'consideration' as he planned out the evening exactly according to his preferences and whims. It's not that he intellectually doesn't understand he can't always have his way because people actually have conflicting wants and needs sometimes, it's that he refuses to accept it. He wants what he wants. He takes his frustrations out on his wife in what seems like a matter of routine, reframes and twists every interaction in absurdly self-serving ways to paint himself as reasonable, and treats her needs and wants not as valid but as an annoying obstacle to his own he can just swat away, or bully her into relenting.
In short: He's not dumb, he's just abusive
Right? I saw a TikTok the other day made by a man who said "women, stop making excuses for us, we're grown men and we know what we're doing"...it literally changed how I viewed something with my husband.
All this is so important. I ended up in a similar conversation a few days ago, they aren't unaware or even are accidently toxic or abuse or they are accidently misogynistic, they know exactly what they are doing and it is intentional. They get away with it when people make those excuses, I also call abuse abuse and don't use prettty flowery language like 'mistake' or 'he didn't mean for it to be abusive' because that doesn't matter and they do so know.
Have you met my ex, the king of stupid? I'm allergic to shellfish and he took us out to a seafood restaurant one time. I wanted to be a pickme and a good girlfriend and didn't say shit about it, just ordered some fish tacos and hoped for the best. Nowadays tho? I will walk away and leave you there to enjoy your dinner by yourself, boy bye, I'm not putting up with anyone like that ever again ❤️
And that is exactly why older creeps target young women. They haven't experienced enough asshoIes to know they should walk away.
I don't know if this makes it worse, but my ex is my age :( he did out earn me by a lot so he felt like he could tell me what to do tho.
Generally, people calling out posts as fake irritate the hell out of me......
But yeah 😮💨😮💨😮💨
I mean, they are pretty optimistic, but yes, I also believe most of this shit does actually happen.
I'm vegetarian and know friends who regularly suggest going to restaurants with literally nothing I can eat. At least they don't get upset when I say that's a terrible idea but I can definitely see the original post happening. I hope it's just bait though.
It's definitely fake. The cross contamination alone would do major damage to someone with a seafood allergy.
I’m deathly allergic to shellfish, that’s exactly what my partner does. When he does he brushes his teeth and showers to make sure the scent isn’t on him, since I can’t even walk into a seafood place without a reaction. It’s also only 2 times a year he eats at a seafood place, and most likely I wouldn’t even be home when he does go.
Or alone. I don't know why people are so averse to dining alone.
I love trying new places, I also really enjoy having alone time eating nice foods.
If this is real, I'm betting he's one of those husbands that relies on his wife for every social interaction because he has no friends out side of her. And also, he really WANTED to do this to her, because he gets pleasure from it. He hates her, but he doesn't think he can do better, he gets too much of a benefit from her presence in her life. So he'll just treat her like shit, potentially kill her through willful negligence and blame her for it, because he thinks she'd never leave him. Hopefully she will.
That's assuming that he has someone else to go with, which is... quite an assumption.
That would seem obvious, yes.
Fortunately, this sounds like something that was made up for engagement...too much exaggeration like someone cosplaying a villainous husband.
Honestly people are so ungrateful,
I cooked a chickpea and cyanide risotto and nobody in my family thanked me. They just took one bite and since then they've all been giving me the silent treatment.
Did you at least arranged it in the form of a heart or smiley face???
I will admit I did half arse it a little, I used basmati rice and I'd ran out of sea salt so I just used crushed glass.
Still it's been three days and they are still just sat there waiting for me to apologise.
Ahh there's your problem, you should have added food colouring to the glass to make it a bit more colourful. But it has been three days now, I think you should just make a Bubble and Squeam Pie and this time maybe add some asbestos to help thicken the gravy.
Your family sounds like a lot. I bet you they're gonna keep this up and start passive-aggressively smelling bad, just to really stick it to you! Honestly, you should go no contact, you don't need that negativity in your life.
Honestly, you should go no contact, you don't need that negativity in your life.
yeah, should be easier for OP to go no contact, sounds like they won't even look at them!
Some men just can't handle their arsenic.
In that case, they have it coming. They only have themselves to blame.
I'm a vegetarian and if someone tried to force me to eat a mushroom sandwich and a salad I would be so pissed off. My dietary requirements are not for medical reasons, still I would be so pissed off. A mushroom sandwich and a salad is not an appetising meal. No.
He literally called her seafood allergy a picky palette. Like WTF 🤦🏻♀️
I once had a guy on a dating app call me picky because I said I didn’t want to eat a certain cuisine because I’m allergic to a very commonly used ingredient 🙄 at least now I’m married to a man who loves that cuisine and just goes with his friends when I’m busy like a normal person
I will never understand that. Two of my best friends growing up had different food allergies, never gave them a hard time. It just baffles me.
Yeah that’s what makes me think it’s real. People really do say stuff like that. They think it’s cute and funny but rude and dishonest.
I knowww. Especially when he goes on about how shes ungrateful. Like I was WTF did she have to be grateful for?
My husband grew up on the coast and loves seafood. I grew up landlocked and I think most seafood doesn’t look appealing and often has a texture I don’t like. You know where he’d never take me without checking with me if there’s something on the menu I’d like to eat? A seafood only restaurant. And I’m not even allergic.
But he did check if there was something for her to eat, she had the choice of a mushroom sandwich or a salad! Yum!!
A salad with an achovey dressing.
Nah, he separated the salad from the Ceasar. It doesn't make him any better, but at least he had to common sense to not include the Ceasar.
Edit to add: I am not defending the AH, but there were two salads: a garden and a Ceasar. Dude is a major AH
He can't point to a dry salad and say "look at all these great options!" I'm vegan and have to deal with this all the time. It sucks, and if my partner did that to me, I'd be pissed. It's something the wife can eat without being hospitalized, but she shouldn't have to pretend to enjoy it because OOP can't award himself good-husband-points for going to a new restaurant alone.
Oh, no, please don't misunderstand me. I am not defending that AH at all. But there were two total salads, as he said in the post. A garden salad and the Ceasar. He is an AH, no doubt, but he did at least that one thing right - differentiating between the two salads and noting that one of them she couldn't have. Which, tbh, makes it worse imo.
I agree, I think that makes it worse. He knew full well how shitty his wife's meal would be and expected her to be grateful.
Not just grateful, he wanted to be rewarded for that crap.
Exactly. I bet he expected her put out after.
If I’m going out to eat, I don’t want a mushroom in a bread roll and salad. That is not a satisfying meal. I’m having flashbacks to the 90s, where I, a lactose intolerant vegetarian, often had bread, chips (fries, not crisps) and a side salad while my friends had whatever they wanted to eat.
Also getting flashbacks to my veggie years, when I was probably around 70% cheese omelette
Yes! I always had omelettes until the lactose intolerance raised its head
I’m a vegetarian too and allergic to sunflower seeds and oil which really sucked caused it pretty much eliminated a lot of my favourite foods (I really miss Thai and Indian 😭)
I actually love mushrooms but a a sandwich for dinner after a long day is pretty crappy.
My friend is vegan and allergic to coconuts, the amount of time they have to try and get clarity on what the substitutions are and just get told it’s fine it’s vegan is laughable; they don’t seem to differentiate that vegans can have allergies to vegan food.
Seriously. I’m also a vegetarian and I hate mushrooms.
I love mushrooms but the giant fleshy kind that gets put on a sandwich like a patty is utterly vile.
My household is vegan; we avoid restaurants that don’t have multiple choices on the menu that we find interesting and appetising. Being taken out somewhere with only 2 options I wasn’t into (and with very little/no protein) as if it were something I should be excited about would be infuriating. (Aside from the awfulness of not respecting her allergy.)
Ah the “I, a man, am superior to my wife, ann an inferior woman! In every way she is a dumbass whom I enjoy belittling and mocking” troll.
"Ah the “I, a man, am superior to my wife, ann inferior woman!"
I thought you named his wife "ann", lol
No, just fat fingers.
Indeed. This troll needs to get a life.
Then he has the gall to wonder, why is my bedroom dead like a fish on land? If someone took me to a restaurant to where I was allergic to most of their entrees and the only choices were a mushroom sandwich and a salad, I'm leaving him there.
I remember that episode of the Simpsons
“Well, I have these tic tacs in my purse.” “Excellent choice, ma’am.”
But the sign said all you can eat!
This bait is so obvious even the grouper wouldn't bite it
Telling her the seafood restaurant had non-seafood options is like if she told him he could get his seafood fix by getting a fish sandwich at McDonalds.
This post reminded me of that time my ex took me to a seafood restaurant, knowing full well that I'm allergic to shellfish. I asked the waitress to sit us outside as far away from the kitchen as possible and she looked mortified while my ex looked unfazed. He'd also get on my case about how much Taco Bell I ate. I believe this post, they are out there and they are as odious as OOP is. I hope his wife sees the light like I did and dumps this loser. Manifesting a divorce for this asshole 🙏🏻
It’s giving family annihilator…
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
YTA. She isn't "depriving you of seafood;" she's allergic to it. You took her to a place without a legitimate option that wasn't harmful to her health (neither option you listed are things a reasonable person would consider a meal) after she was excited that you told her you were going out.
It's very clear from your narrative that she didn't like the option she picked in her attempt to make the best of the situation, then you acted like she was in the wrong for asking to get some kind of food she'd actually like.
She chose the wrong entree and couldn't come to terms with it
A garden salad is not an entree, so she picked the only entree that wouldn't have resulted in going to the hospital.
I just think she needs to stop having such a selective palate
That's not how allergies work.
"Portobello mushroom sandwiches are actually very filling and generously portioned. I have to disagree."
Sadlytheworst: edited formatting.
Who ever that exchange is is a great person. I would have blocked tf out of him.
Agreed, I wanted to block Oop and all I did was copying that one bit.
What’s worse is that I used to always assume these kind of posts were fake - but one of my friends has married a man than made me realize these kinds of people exist…. For example: her coming home to find HER dog dyed pink, shortly after her other dog died, after he yelled at her that morning for “loading the dishwasher wrong” in the house SHE BOUGHT for them. He couldn’t understand why she’d be upset.
ETA: she obviously did not give permission for the pink dog, and got home after working all day to find her and her husband calling her by a new name because he didn’t like the one she gave her
If your friends husband ever goes missing, I'll be your alibi. (Please tell me that at the very least she didn't accept her dogs "new name")
Thank you 🫡 and thankfully she did NOT - though he is still trying to make this poor dog a “TikTok star”…. It’s a lot
So this is fake, obviously, but the idea of a wife thanking her husband for taking her out kind of breaks my heart. It reads like he never takes her out or does anything special for her, and on the one occasion where it actually happens he’s a total ass to her.
OOP is TA obviously.
Speaking as someone with a seafood allergy.
I can’t even tolerate the smell of it. Going to a seafood restaurant is cruel. The risk of cross contamination is real.
Unfortunately I’ve seen this kind of entitlement and lack of empathy before and I believe the OOP is genuinely unable to understand why his behaviour (and him in general) suck.
Couples can work together to accommodate dietary needs. I’m a vegan by choice and my partner is an omnivore and doesn’t like vegetarian/vegan food. We always manage to find a restaurant that caters to both of us. If one of us wants something that the other doesn’t then we either go on our own or with other people who want the same thing. I usually go to vegan restaurants with friends who are vegan. And my partner does the same with eating meat
So sensible. I guess the problem is approaching that problem like a pair of practical adults instead of an entitled jerk.
I actually think it is true, I read a few years ago about a woman who told her mother (or mother in law) that her daughter was allergic to coconut, Granny didn't believe it and put coconut oil on the little girl's hair. Tragically the little girl died. I can't believe the lengths some people will go to to be right sometimes.
My brother used to date a vegetarian, they had a massive falling because he genuinely couldn't understand what the problem was with cooking her mushrooms in the same frying pan as his bacon 🙄
Someone on r/justnomil has compiled a GIANT list of family members ignoring, “forgetting,” testing, and/or deliberately triggering people’s allergies. It’s horrifying.
Go. By. Yourself. This is not rocket science here.
I thought it was only fair, since I love seafood and my wife always deprives me of it.
Because he could never just go out and eat seafood on his own or with someone who isn't his wife if he hates eating out alone.
I so fucking hate this wording, we can't have peppers in the house or I will get sick and puff up, but my mother always says she craves them and guilts me, and my father "just buys a little not a lot so I shouldn't be a problem"
I want to feed him cyanide
I am a "real adult," and if I don't like something, I'm not finishing it. This ass has to be a troll. On the off chance he isn't, he's a dick. I've known a few people with seafood allergies, and they varied in how bad the reaction was. I don't carry epipens on me, so I'm not inflicting harm on someone just because I might be in the mood for lobster. If he wanted seafood, he could have gone by himself. Also, a mushroom sandwich does not sound appealing. I don't care what kind of mushrooms they are.
Being allergic to something and having a "selwctive palate" is not the same thing. WTF even is a "selective palate"?
I'm allergic to nuts. I went out for my birthday with friends to a restaurant a couple of years ago and when the owner found out it was my birthday, he sent over a piece of complementary carrot cake. When I said thanks, but I couldn't eat it because of my allergy and istead sent it around to my friends so they could each have a bite, he got rwally offended and said I should still eat it because it only has a little bit of almonds in. He didn't get that a little bit dead is still dead. 🤦♀️
Do not be a cunt to your wife in a restaurant. Seems pretty obvious honestly.
Why is it so hard to implement for these assholes?
That’s another tally for the “does he even like his wife?” category. Though he kinda makes it pretty open that he doesn’t
I'm 99% sure this is fake, even if I do know of a friend of a friend whose hubby took her to a seafood place knowing she was allergic to shellfish.
Pretending it's not fake, I hope OOP's wife decides she's had enough of OOP's BS and dumps his ass.
If this is real, I do hope he’s an ex-husband.
And he (if it’s real) could have said I really want to try this seafood restaurant I know you would hate. Do you mind if I go there on Tuesday night, and you can either dine out somewhere else or have your favourite takeaways delivered.
Or he could have waited till she was going to be out of town, or had evening plans with a friend.
I, unfortunately, knew a couple of people like this. Who never believed me when I said I was allergic to soy, and would constantly try to test me or push it. It was a lot less funny when I’m swelling up and covered in hives, or going to the hospital though.
Op reminds me of those people, who got embarrassed and upset when I asked for soy free options, and thought I should be ‘honest about my diet.’
Though, much in the way of OP’s douchbaggery, they did introduce me to my favorite chinese place this way.
I had treated her to a very nice meal at the newest restaurant in town, and instead of finishing her food (which wasn't cheap, by the way), she wanted to fill up on grease at the local Mickey D's.
I have literally read a restaurant review about one of the places that had some of the fanciest food in town where the reviewer suggested stopping at McDonald's on the way home to grab some burgers. Small plate tasting menus are for the experience, not for filling you up. Considering ya probably emptied your wallet to eat there, McDonald's would be a wise choice afterwards ;)
It was a review by Dara Moskowitz (now Moskowitz Grumdahl) of the restaurant Piccolo. If you want to see Anthony Bourdain gush about the restaurant, it's in the No Reservations episode Heartland. S6 E11
There's a bad copy of it on youtube as "Anthony Bourdain No Reservations Sea 06 Epis 15 Heartland" and the small portion size, and the reasons they are small, is a big part of the segment.
Assuming this is real:
I love Thai food. it's one of my favourites, but my partner I'd allergic to peanuts which is used frequently in Thai cooking.
I've never been to a Thai restaurant with him, which is a bummer, but I'd rather pick somewhere were we can both enjoy a meal.
It's really not that difficult to display basic human decency.
If i really want Thai food, I go with my friends. I would ask why OOP doesn't go with his friends, but given his shitty attitude I'd be very surprised if he had any.
When a post seems fake just remember that Reddit is inking deals with AI companies to license the vast corpus of content on Reddit. So all these comments and images and funny back-and-forth, all of that will be used to train AI models like ChatGPT and Google's Gemini. And Reddit is going to be paid for it now.
It can't be real. This is a grown ass man. Just as easily as he drive his wife to a death shack, he can drive to said death shack alone, with family, with friends, get takeout, get delivery. His wife isn't depriving him of anything. I hope the "grouper" was worth it? He didn't do anything thoughtful. The none seafood option was awful and he wouldn't even get her imaginary McDonald's. Did he pay for her fake-out with Monopoly money?
That’s a one way ticket to divorce
I sincerely hope this is rage bait.
I have a severe seafood allergy and if my husband would pull this kind of stunt I would seriously reconsider the relationship! I mean are people seriously this self-centered and daft?! If you want to try this restaurant just go with a family member or friend who might enjoy it with you?
This was fake but the amount of times you see people either not respecting someone’s allergies or making them food they know they don’t like and getting annoyed they didn’t try it is so annoying.
“I think she needs to stop having such a selective palate”
Yeah I agree. How dare she not eat food THAT WILL FUCKING KILL HER.
“Ooh you can have a SALAD or a SANDWICH “ two whole choices. That’s a lot of options, you can have a bowl of the limp lettuce or they’ll stick in on a piece of bread.
I’m also allergic to seafood and shellfish. My husband loves it. Not once has he ever taken me to a seafood place, or so much as ordered it in front of me (I get rashes if particles touch me).
Sounds rage baitey but I never presume anymore.
The wife needs to divorce the asshat and be done with it.
Op is either a troll or he's very dumb. Like questioning how he dresses himself in the mornings dumb.
Imagine getting home from work, being famished, and then being excited about a nice dinner out only to be told 'this is where you're going but don't worry, there's one thing on the menu you can eat and *not die" and it's a mushroom sandwich. I mean, she's allergic to seafood but I've only ever met ONE vegetarian once that was excited about a mushroom sandwich.
I brought a new friend to a seafood restaurant once before they sheepishly told me they were allergic to crustaceans but could eat the pasta plain. I got them up so fast I paid for the drinks that hadn't even arrived yet and hustled them out. I am NOT playing around with someone's shit!
It boggles the mind to know this husband deliberately chose this.
get it he’s a shellfish ass
The title made me picture someone running towards his wife while waving a lobster over his head.
Omg I hope this OP is a troll. This almost sounds AI. Who the heck uses dour in this day and age? I don’t use it and I’m a writer!
Im allergic to shellfish. It gives me a rash if I handle it, throat/ears super itchy but lucky never had my throat well up. I tell people this and they doubt it's a real allergy because THEY want to eat shellfish. Multiple times I've had people say "well what if it was just poor preparation at THAT specific restaurant?"🙄 Feels ridiculous but I wholeheartedly believe someone could be this stupid and selfish.
People are saying this is rage bait, but I legit have friends who have severe allergies who had partners do shit similar to this to them. One told my friend a cake was gluten free - she has celiac disease - and she wound up in the hospital because he was “testing to see if she really was celiac”. I’ve seen men do it to my friends who are vegetarians.
Men are not okay.
But, he checked the menu, she had options, a whole TWO options no less. Honestly, it sounds like she's just being selfish.
(/s obviously)
YTA,YTA,YTA... does it have to be more clearly? You sound as a terrible partner.
Like... take a friend instead? Order it at work? Go at luch? Ask her? Compromise??? No one is stopping the douche nozzle from eating seafood. If this is even real
If I were to say what I think of OOP, I’d have the Feds at my door.
So... because she 'deprived' him of sea food he could have 'deprived' her of oxygen via anaphylaxis? May karma visit him with bones in every seafood dish he has hence forth.
What a blatant shitpost. They don't even try any more
I thought it was only fair, since I love seafood and my wife always deprives me of it.
Fake
Ugh. What an asshole. It's fine that he wants seafood but then he should just go by himself instead of forcing his wife to go with him!
This reads like bait, but if it isn't:
I would've been more lenient on him had he been up front with her. He made it sound like he was taking her out as a nice surprise for her, but it was really for him. If he'd said something like "I'd like to eat at a seafood place for a change, they have X without seafood in it, but if you don't want to go I can go by myself sometime".
Then he whines about her not appreciating her "nice meal" which was just a sandwich, out of two options (sandwich and salad) which are generally not a meal in and of themselves unless it's a big dinner salad, which by his description it is not.
Dude’s getting divorced and doesn’t even know it yet. Bet he’ll act all surprised pikachu when it happens, too.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for taking my wife to a seafood restaurant?
A few hours ago, I decided to surprise my wife by taking the two of us out to dinner. She had to work late today, and I normally cook dinner, but tonight I just wasn't feeling it. A new seafood place has opened in our town, and I've been meaning to try it out. The trouble is, my wife is allergic to seafood, except for certain types of fish and oysters. She tends to avoid seafood completely for this reason.
Well, she seemed genuinely shocked that I hadn't cooked when she walked in, but when I told her that we would be eating out, she thanked me and seemed excited. As we walked up to the restaurant, though, her pleasant attitude suddenly became rather dour. She turned to me with a "what the hell" kind of looked, but I smiled and assured her that they had two options not involving seafood, a portobello mushroom sandwich and a garden salad (the Caesar dressing contains anchovies). I had checked the menu online beforehand, which is how I knew such things.
My wife tried to protest and suggested we visit the Italian place down the street, but I told her that I really wanted to try the grouper special. I thought it was only fair, since I love seafood and my wife always deprives me of it. She finally relented, and I had a wonderful dinner, but my wife said that her sandwich was "soggy and lukewarm." On the car ride home, she said that she wasn't full and asked if we could stop at a fast food place. I was stunned by this. I had treated her to a very nice meal at the newest restaurant in town, and instead of finishing her food (which wasn't cheap, by the way), she wanted to fill up on grease at the local Mickey D's. She hadn't even taken a doggy bag containing the rest of the sandwich.
I told her that her request was insulting and that her attitude had spoiled what I had tried to make a very enjoyable evening. At this point, my wife went gloves off and tore into me. She said that I had been a "selfish ass" the entire evening and hadn't "considered her needs" at all. I asked her how that could be true when the restaurant had non-seafood options, and she just huffed and shook her head. Then I told her that I knew what her tantrum was really about. She chose the wrong entree and couldn't come to terms with it, so she was blaming me. I told her that a real adult would simply finish the food to become full and just not order it again. Eventually, she said "f*** it. Take my home, and I'll order delivery."
Well, she eventually did order the delivery, and she's been eating in our bedroom with the door locked. I just don't know how I can please her. My repeated apologies have been met with nothing but "go away." I don't think it's fair to me to constantly be relegated to the same couple of restaurants, none of which serve seafood close to the quality of what I just ate. I just think she needs to stop having such a selective palate, but clearly that opinion just leaves me in the doghouse. I just don't know how to win. AITA?
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