For background; my boyfriend and I are both 29 and have lived together for three years, and this morning when I yelled at him, he told me to post the situation to reddit.
The whole time we've lived together, he's had this incredibly irritating need to wake me up when *he* wakes up, even when I don't need to be awake yet. He can fall asleep on a dime, but it usually takes me at least an hour to pass out (melatonin gives me the *worst* nightmares, so that's a no go). On top of that, I very frequently wake up a few times in the night.
For the record, every time he sleeps, I let him sleep. It's Saturday and I woke up earlier than him? I just hang out quietly on my phone or go to the living room if I'm gonna be any semblance of "loud." He's taking a nap? Lights are off, I make everyone be quiet and I leave him be, because *sleep is important*.
He has let me nap longer than thirty minutes maybe four or five times. He says that he does this stuff because "normal couples want to spend time together," but it feels like a control thing to me. He is very often out all weekend and some weeknights, which I don't mind at all because friendships are super important, but that shoots down the "quality time" narrative for me.
I have two kids from a previous relationship that are 8 and 6. Both kids have strep throat right now and one has scarlet fever on top of it. I currently also have strep. I have a constant headache, my throat and body hurts, and I am especially tired. Last night, he fell asleep at 12. I fell asleep at 1:30, and got up for the kids at 2:45 and 4. He gets up at six thirty for work, and he woke me up at 7 for zero reason.
Since he pulled this yesterday, waking me up to lock the door for him as he'd left his keys at work (I gave him my spare key the evening before so he could go to the gym, it was on the kitchen counter) I yelled (read: sternly admonished, I can't physically yell right now) at him, asking what on earth he feels the need to wake me up for. Does he feel wronged having to be the only one awake? Why would you not care about the needs of your girlfriend? I don't get it. He gave me the "nOrMaL cOuPlEs" blah blah blah and told me to post it here for judgment.
Just for context, he works 8-5. I'm in college full-time and pursuing a separate certificate on top of that. He does not pay my bills (**edit: he pays his half, I pay my half of rent/utilities bills -, bad phrasing, sorry) or for anything my kids or I need, so it can't be resentment from that. All the chores that get done were done by me, (he does start his own laundry and wash his own dishes *most of the time*) so it can't be that either.
Pass your judgement upon us, O Reddit.