I posted this on about calling my coworker Mary my work-sister after she tried to call me her work-husband in front of the entire office. A lot of you are asking for update, but that sub does not allow me to post update, so I am writing it here. Thanks everyone for your comments and giving me confidence that I did not do anything wrong or inappropriate.
As I was sitting in office the next day, I knew things would be a bit awkward between Mary and me. Mary ignored me the whole morning. Initially, I was planning to go and apologize to her, but after the post, I decided that I do not need to do that as I should be the one who was offended. Everyone in the office could see that we were acting weird, and I heard some people gossiping about us. One of the ladies also came to me and asked me if I want to talk about Mary and me.
Around 3pm in the afternoon, I was sitting in my office working. Mary came into my office and closed the door behind her. She was angry at me and started saying that I need to stop being an asshole and stop ignoring her. I told her to sit and to talk about what is going on. She told me that she feels humiliated, and everyone has been starting at her the whole morning because of what I did. I also stood my ground and told her that I was ok with her making fun of me but calling me her work-husband and hugging me in front of everyone for a long time made the situation awkward. She told me to get over myself and that I should know exactly what she meant.
Mary said that I made a big deal of what was supposed to be a joke and made it awkward for everyone. She said calling someone work-husband is a normal thing and just means that she knows me intimately like a spouse would. She said that because we spend so much time travelling together, she knows all the intimate details of how I behave outside work. I stopped her and told her that I felt offended by the term "work-husband" because I have a wife and I do not want people to use that term to describe our relationship. I told her that she would not understand as she is single, but as a married man, I really do not want anyone to describe me as a husband in any capacity.
She said that I am again misinterpreting what she was saying. She felt that as we have known each other more time than I have been married, she knows me more intimately than even my wife (I have no idea why she feels that way) and I also behave like her husband when we travel together. She went on about how we go out to dinners together after work, how I always insist on having breakfast together in morning (to plan our actions of the day), and I walk around in my underwear (referring to my gym shorts) around her in mornings. She also talked about how we spend hours talking to each other during road trips and how I am the only man she can trust with any secret in her life. She said that I am the definition of work-husband, and I am just in denial. I was a bit angry at this point. I told her that I do all that because I consider her my friend and she is delusional if she feels she knows me more intimately than my wife. I told her I do not want to hear that term again and it is extremely disrespectful to my marriage. Only one woman gets to call me her husband and that is my wife. Moreover, if my actions are giving her such ideas, maybe we need to stop being friends.
She became apologetic afterwards and told me that she did not mean to disrespect my wife, and it was not her intention. She apologized to me and told me to just let it go. She said that she loves travelling with me and she does not want anything to change between us. She again said that I am misinterpreting her statement and just wants to move on. She came to hug me again, but I just told her it was ok and stepped back.
I also talked to my wife about the incident that night. As expected, my wife was angry at Mary and told me that she hates the term work-husband. She asked me if Mary has ever flirted with me during our trips or has a crush on me. I truthfully told her that I really have not felt that way and she may have just said that because she was a bit drunk and is now being stubborn about it. My wife said that she feels a bit uncomfortable about Mary now and says that it's strike one for Mary and I need to try and put more distance between us while travelling. If she every repeat the same behavior again, I should report her to HR. I promised my wife that I would try to reduce my interactions with Mary outside work hours and be more guarded around her.
Update: Thanks everyone for the comments and explaining the urgency of the situation. I discussed it with my wife and have set up meetings with my manager and HR today. I plan to not file a complaint, but document what happened last week and why it made me uncomfortable. I do not have any upcoming travels this week due to holidays but have to travel next Tuesday with her to a worksite. I will discuss with my manager on what my options are. However, I feel a little distance between Mary and me for some time would be the right solution for now.