My wife is pregnant and is pretty emotionally distressed. She will cry over getting the wrong type of onions and she will cry when I am upset about something disrespectful and upsetting she said to me.
I used to push my emotions aside and focus on comforting her, make the bed, and do most of the heavy chores, and apart from the stress of my job, I think I am getting emotionally fatigued too. Her crying doesn’t elicit as much empathy in me, but I do try and make it look like I care about her when I absolutely would’ve put my foot down and ignored her if she wasn’t pregnant with my kid.
For example, just few days ago, I noticed a consistent pattern of our grocery bill increasing, probably because when I’m at work, she orders stuff online to get it delivered. I told her she needs to be able to regulate her cravings better and not let them get to her because we both don’t earn that much.
This seemed to piss her off and she started crying. This time, I didn’t even move. Yes, she’s the one who’s pregnant and her issues matter the most, but it has started to feel like her issues take up so much space that it leaves no room to discuss what bothers me because she will have another meltdown.
Look, I’m not against her, I want to work with her, but it feels like she isn’t meeting me. I’m emotionally fatigued and it seems that her unregulated emotions and crying never lead to any productive conversations or changes. And I’m tired.
So this time, rather than invest any more energy onto her, I simply said that I’ll come back to this conversation after she gets a grip, eases and calms down and has time to reflect on what I said vs. how she’s reacting. Because I never attacked her. I simply reminded her to be mindful of our budget.
I am not proud of my language and yes I was wrong for the “grip” comment but keeping in mind I was frustrated and at the end of my rope it was the kindest thing I could’ve said
She said I was being insensitive and treated her like a child. AITAH?