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To all of those trying to claim she bought a child...
With the bio mother unsure what to do, anyone willing to wait and adopt the baby would get tied in to helping support the bio mother financial during the pregnancy.
The same thing happens when people try to adopt through surrogacy.
The amount of money given to the bio mom may cause my eyes to buldge, but not the concept. Why would a woman want to go through the emotional journey and expense of pregnancy and birth, just to put the child up for adoption? The money provided eases the financial complications and allows the bio mom to make a moral choice instead of a financial one.
The part that blows my mind is that she gave money to the brother too.
As for the Bio Mom trying to reinsert herself into your daughter's life... - I assume the adoption was processed completely and is legal - I assume that the parental rights of the Bio Mother have been terminated Correct?
If so.. then all that matters is what your daughter and you/your-husband think (in that order).
It sucks that the bio mom is having a hard go at this. But she wasn't equipped to be a mother then... And she is not equipped now. She doesn't know what it is to be a mother. She has some fantasy idea in her head that she has conjured over the years, but she doesn't know her daughter or if they'd even get a long. The Bio Mom is going about everything wrong. She is going to dig herself a ditch.
Try to document her attempts to intervene or harass. Taking my assumptions above into account, the documentation will help if you need to file a restraining order against her.
NTA.
Ok so I'm not going crazy... I'm thinking like, what about surrogacy... Usually 10s of thousands of dollars... I guess that's buying a child too...
Surrogacy you are paying a legal adult for the time, energy and commitment to house an embryo for 9 months. You are not buying a human.