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Update: AITAH for missing my daughter’s birthday and my wedding anniversary for the birth of my sister’s baby?
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I'm in a weird place with this one because I so agree that unilaterally making decisions like this and not consulting his wife is a huge problem...but I also think 1 birthday and 1 anniversary are clearly not important in the face of being there for a sibling going through a horrible time. I think OP definitely approached it all wrong, but if OP is like me, the annual celebrations just aren't a huge deal. They happen literally every year and don't actually have to be celebrated day of. His sister was going through some one-time terrifying shit - it DOES seem obvious to me which one matters and does feel selfish to me that a wife would expect her SIL to just be alone so they can celebrate their nth anniversary the exact correct day. (Granted, if he had discussed it with her respectfully, maybe she would've agreed he should go).
I dunno, I almost always agree with Reddit on stuff like this, but the number of people who are making such a big deal out of anniversary/birthday is shocking to me. Yall really care this much every single year??? (I get that a kids birthday matters way more but he'll be there just after, she probably still had fun with friends, and dad probably doesn't normally miss important events - this was an emergency).