At the beginning of this year, in the middle of a vacation that cost me too much and I wanted to enjoy, I received an unexpected call from my mother, telling me that she discovered my dad's infidelity, not only did it ruin my vacation but it also destroyed the image I had of my dad. . I had him on a pedestal. My dad was a wonderful man in my eyes and now that image had been shattered. When I returned from vacation my parents didn't last long apart. My father promised to separate from his other woman, my mother forgave him and returned home. But they expect me to treat it again like nothing happened and I can't.
When I turned 16 my dad gave me a car which I had and used for almost 10 years and 2 years ago after a fight he took it away from me. I hadn't seen that car again (I thought he had sold it) until we discovered the infidelity and it turned out that his new “girlfriend” had my car. Obviously I wanted to ask him for an explanation but I didn't feel ready to see him face to face at that moment so I left him a message in which I explained how he made me feel to which he responded with a single word: “understood” after that he didn't contact me again., It's been 4 months and we still haven't spoken, my mom calls me crying and asks me to talk to him and forgive him. But should I be the one to start the conversation? Should I be the one to look for him so I can forgive him? He hasn't cared about talking to me in all this time, he didn't even give me an explanation about the car. I feel like he doesn't care about me in the slightest and every time my mom asks me to forgive him it makes me angry, angry with her for putting me in this situation, if she was going to forgive him. Why make me part of their breakup? They would have let me enjoy my vacation without being sad about that whole situation that in the end went to nothing. And anger at him for not showing any interest in wanting to continue being part of my life, one message was enough for him to not try to talk to me again. The more time passes the less I want to be a part of his life but he is my dad and despite that for almost my entire life until now he had been a good dad. I don't know what to do.
We have a big family and everyone is on his side, it's not that there are sides but they want me to call him and forgive him, but why can't he be the one to look for me? It's not that I want a big gesture from him and I'm not against the idea of forgiving him either, but can't he look for me to ask for forgiveness? Or am I the one who is wrong?