Losing somebody you love isn't easy. You cry, and you cry, and you cry, and you cry, and then you stop. You start regretting not speaking to them more often, not being nicer, not doing more. No matter how much you did for them, it'll never be enough.

After, you try to live. Do all the things they can no longer do, because they can't do them and it's just not fair.

But worst of all is the realisation that they're not coming back. You don't have to cope without them for just one day. Because, yes, they're not here today. But they also won't be there tomorrow. Or the day after, or the week after, or the month after. It hurts because you have to go without that person every day for the rest of your new life.

New life, because there's no way to go back after they're gone. You're to start afresh without them. Forever.

Another thing that scares you the most is the fear that they'll be forgotten. You realise how easy it is to build a new routine, a new life that doesn't involve them. Scarily so. It's so easy, and you feel guilty for letting yourself live when they can't. That guilt never truly leaves you.

You start thinking about them a lot more. You become sad because if you and everybody else who cares just- forget or go away, your loved one is gone with you. They disappear. Their memory is gone with you, and nobody will know how amazing that person is, how much they were loved, and how do you deal with a loss that big?

Every once in a while, you think about them and feel sad because you look around and think, they would love to see where I am right now. But they will never see. They will never know how far you got, the journeys you experiences, the ups and downs. They never got to experience their own ups and downs either.

And in the end, there is nothing you can do about it.

You get back onto your feet, take a step, then another, and you keep on walking.