I'm new to this sub and fresh out of a breakup, but I think I just got out of an addictive relationship and I'd like to tell my story.

I'm 29f he is 24m

We met in mid March of this year. He planned our first date, which started with dinner and ended with him holding me and saying that he wanted to be my only one, that he'd make all the time in the world for me, that I was amazing and an angel. My brain melted in that moment I believe.

Not even two weeks later, he told me that he loved me. I knew this was totally rushed but it felt so damn GOOD that I told him I loved him back. God it felt so good.

Two days later he said "I don't want to be a stranger to you. I want to be your boyfriend." And I obliged. We became a couple.

Near constant fighting paired with very intense emotional bonding ensued. He triggered me, he negged me, he pushed my boundaries. I'd get upset and then end up apologizing and then it'd end with us saying how much we love each other, and him asking me if I feel safe (cue brain melting).

Last night I finally decided I'd had enough. I told him I was feeling unhappy and that we probably didn't have a future together. He was respectful of that. But unfortunately we decided to have sex one more time. We spent hours cuddling in bed and saying how much we loved each other despite not being compatible. Finally he left around 11 pm, giving me a kiss and telling me he loved me before walking away. "I hope you remember me when you're 70", he told me through tears.

I know I did the right thing. I know he was red flag city. But it hurts so fucking much. I am CRAVING that intimacy so bad right now, wishing I could cuddle or kiss him one last time.

What do y'all do in these moments? I knew I was love addicted but somehow this shit still creeps up on me so easily. It's like a whirlwind and I get completely caught up and just cannot think. And then when the breakup comes it HURTS. Advice please. 😭

I've been in an exclusive monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 months now.

I feel like on my end, I'm still learning how to trust him. I have a deep fear of being betrayed. I don't question his whereabouts or feel threatened by female friends or anything, it's just that we're working on building trust and sometimes I get a little nervous is all.

He on the other hand has consistently stated that he trusts me 1000%. He even said that if my neighbor said I was bringing other men up to my apartment behind my boyfriend's back, he wouldn't even believ the woman. Said he'd have to see me cheat before his own eyes to even believe that I'd cheated on him.

I just don't understand HOW it's possible to trust someone this much. How TF do you learn to trust when so many people cheat? I'm trustworthy but how can he trust me THAT much to say even if someone told him I'd cheated he wouldn't even believe them?

Yes I'm working on my insecurities. Yes I'm in therapy. Yes I know I simply need to trust that I'd be ok even if I got betrayed (I'm trying my best).

I just want to know have any of you learned to trust your partner? How in the world do you do that with cptsd???

I'm not actually going to KMS but god I want to die so fucking bad.

I'm so sick of my father. I had to hear him antagonize my mother all day at Thanksgiving today. Literally threw something at her in the kitchen and said "I should be throwing knives at you".

I have to watch my 13 year old sister get hypervigilant when this goes on and it breaks my fucking heart.

Of course due to how much my parents (mainly dad) screamed at and humiliated and emotionally abused me as a kid, I have absolutely zero confidence. I hate myself and I panic anytime anyone shows the slightest bit of anger or even frustration in my presence. I totally shut down and sometimes cry. I know society sees me as a weak little shit. I know it's not my fault but I dont feel like I can fix it. I'm trying.

Due to having no confidence, nobody listens or takes me seriously. I'm always ignored or talked over. Reinforces the idea that I'm a worthless piece of shit.

And how the hell am I supposed to work every day when I shut down every time anyone seems the slightest bit irritated near me? How the hell am I supposed to function? The truth is I can't. I'm 28 years old and barely make any money because I'm in a bullshit job that an 18 year old could do. I feel like I can't advance anywhere because I have no confidence, no abilities, no way to even function due to constantly shutting down and freezing.

Yes. I'm in therapy. (I can only afford every other week.) I take two different meds. I still fucking hate being alive. I'm only here for my sister; I can't leave her. But what the hell am I supposed to do? I hate being in this skin.

Just looking for someone to hear all of that. Thank you.

Just wanted to share how important these little things could be.

I had a horrible night on Tuesday. Decided to hang out with my parents and hand out candy with them for Halloween and ended up arguing with my dad(after I'd already had a shit day dealing with sexist men at work). Dad decided Tuesday night would be a good time to tell me I'd ruined his dreams due to the debt he decided to incur to let me go to college.

I felt horrible of course, went inside and started crying. My sister saw me crying, asked if I was ok, we hugged, etc... I told her I was leaving and she said "call me when you get home".

I live about 40 mins away. I cried the whole way home, thinking of a plan for how to get a gun or Xanax or some kind of opioids to KMS. Really felt like scum in that moment and that I'd surely be better off dead so that my loans would at least be forgiven.

Called my sister when I got home. It was a brief conversation, but she thanked me for letting her know I'd gotten home ok, and asked me to call back if I needed someone to talk to. In that moment I knew there was no way I could let her down. No way I could simply leave her behind.

I cried myself to sleep but the next day was much better. I woke up with a plan to get a higher paying job soon so that I can help my parents with paying the loans back.

Anyway, TL;DR: if my little sister wouldn't have asked me to call her when I got home, I might actually be dead.

The little things do matter. You don't always have to be someone's therapist to save their life. Tiny acts of love and care make a difference.

ETA: I told my sister the following morning how it meant a lot to me for her to support me in that way. Didn't tell her about the suicidal thoughts, but I did tell her that I hope her friends feel immensely lucky to have a person like her on their side.