Your lack of empathy is stunning. YTA.

YTA. You certainly can do what you want, but unless you’ve carried a fetus to term and found yourself curled up in the fetal position and/or hugging porcelain due to extreme nausea, you might want to rethink your priggishness. It’s one thing if your friend was just smoking weed to get high, but in this case it is absolutely plausible that her OB gave her the green light in order to help with the nausea.

This. It’s so deliciously petty.

YTA. She’s not a mind-reader, and you had already told her it was a kid-free wedding. If you and your spouse wanted her there that badly, you should have reached out to her and extended the invitation to her children.

No. What on earth is wrong with your friends?

YTA. You should have just told him you were taking the day off and going to the spa with your sister. If he would have gotten jealous over that, then you have a much bigger problem on your hands and should think about whether this marriage is good for you (and your daughter).

YTA. Men like you suck and are such a cliche. You string along women for years, causing them to waste precious time, then immediately turn around and get married, have a baby, etc. with the next chick in record time. If you knew your girlfriend was set on kids, you should have done her a favor and cut her loose a long time ago. Instead, you were perfectly content to string her along until she finally forced the issue. Also, according to other posters, you’ve edited your original post multiple times to make yourself look better, which indicates that you likely were not as clear with your ex as you contend.

Christ on a cracker, what is up with all these posts about boyfriends and husbands having terrible hygiene?! It’s so foul. You have to sit him down and tell him straight up how bad it is, that it could negatively affect your health, and btw, he won’t get laid until he starts washing regularly (and properly).

Except that everything I have read (including her original post) says that he doesn’t understand why she is upset, and he does act on his feelings for SIL. I agree that generally, when your spouse confides in you on the basis that you will not say anything to anyone else, you take it to the grave. There are exceptions to the rule, however.

Generally, I would agree with that, but not in this particular situation. As far as I am concerned, she should be thinking of heading for the exits if he takes no steps to stay away from SIL.

NTA. He’s using you. Not marrying you so you have zero rights to his wealth (which is his prerogative), although he is perfectly happy to let you spend your money on his family. You WBTA if you stay in this relationship.

Sorry, but this is very different. It’s not like a, “I think Angelina Jolie is hot and have a massive crush on her” situation. Or even a situation where OP’s husband confesses to having a crush on another, unrelated woman. He is bringing this sh*t very close to home, and he has zero intention of cutting back on seeing the SIL, which is what someone who is interested in saving his marriage would do. The OP needs to tell the BIL now, because if it progresses to her husband and SIL getting in the sack, it will irrevocably shatter the family. At least this way, the BIL and his wife can take steps to avoid the OP’s husband, which is for the best. If SIL wants to bask in adulation and/or cheat, she can do it somewhere else. And if she does sleep with OP’s husband anyway, at least nobody will be blindsided. Also, regarding your comment to another poster below about being single, I’ve been happily married for almost 15 years, so gtfo with that bs. Being married doesn’t give a person carte blanche to say whatever demented thing he or she wants to his/her spouse. Some things are better kept close to the vest. It would have been fine if the husband recognized that he had a crush, kept it to himself, and took steps to distance himself from SIL. Instead, he was obvious about it, put the burden of this knowledge on his spouse, and refuses to take steps to remedy the situation.

NTA. I would blow my lid too. You definitely were within your rights to block your in-laws from seeing the kids. No judgment regarding their swinging, but it’s mind-boggling that they would think it is ok to expose the kids to their casual sex partners and worse, let those sex partners babysit them. As to your marriage, you should not make any decisions about that while you are in such a state of anger. Give yourself some time to calm down and think about the situation rationally. You may well decide that this is unforgivable and divorce your spouse, but then you also need to consider that you are unlikely to get full physical custody.

Not overthinking it. I’ve been a working professional for almost 20 years and I would never send a male coworker a heart emoji in any context. It may very well be innocent on his part, but you have to ask. A lot of happily married men live by the mantra “wheels up, rings off”.

You need to start thinking about cutting the cord if he doesn’t shape up. If you stay with him, it will do irreparable damage to your son, and you will be complicit. You need to give him an ultimatum - get therapy or you are out. Even then, you should not stay if the therapy isn’t helping.

Yes, kill Naxos or Paros.

YTA. Stop being a doormat and tell your BIL, because this has the potential to blow up the family. You say you made a promise to your husband - what about his promise to love and cherish you, and forsake all others? You need to nip this in the bud, and also give some thought to whether you want to stay married to someone who so clearly disrespects you.

NTA. Your friends are ridiculous. With whom would it be better to leave a child than loving grandparents? While my husband and I most often take our three year old with us when we travel, we have dropped him off with my mother for a few days (so we could take a trip together, alone) on more than one occasion. My kid also does the occasional sleepover at my mom’s place even when we are not traveling (date night for my husband and me), and he absolutely loves it. Count yourself lucky that you have trustworthy parents to help you with your child.

Tell him to look up the story of Madeleine McCann.

NTA. He left you. The sheer audacity to expect that you would wait for him to realize his mistake - mind-boggling. Tell him to piss off, and enjoy your new relationship.

Go for it and ask him out, but as others noted, best to keep it casual and not reveal just how in love with him you are. In any case, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

NTA, but I say this gently - you have a husband problem. He would rather hurt you than “rock the boat” with his mother (never mind that she is the one who initially tipped the boat all the way to one side). He needs to draw a line in the sand with his mother. Otherwise, you need to rethink whether you want to be in this relationship. And for the love of all that is holy, do not have children with him until this dilemma is resolved to your satisfaction.

I mean, this to me is the crux of it. Even if her son isn’t a problem, I would never want to sell my house, in which I already have 50% equity, to buy a bigger house, which would require taking on a new mortgage at a higher interest rate, in order to move in with my SO of 17 months and all of her adult (or near adult) children. There is a distinct possibility that the relationship will not work out, and then you’ve gone from a comfortable situation to paddling up sh*t creek very quickly. And that is before you get into questions about how much money each person puts in, are both people on the deed, what happens if they need to sell, etc. Presumably the OP would be putting in a lot more equity than the girlfriend, and if he doesn’t protect himself, he could find himself litigating the return of his equity. It’s just a bad idea all around. It seems like they have broken up, but if they do get back together, he should insist on keeping separate households, at the very least until all the children have (irrevocably) flown the coop.

Oh, I agree. I frankly think you shouldn’t take her back, and should just get on with your life. That said, it is your decision, of course. Different strokes for different folks, and all that. It seems, however, like you are viewing this situation fairly clearly. I would just focus on your child and try to limit the damage to him as much as possible.

YTA, for all the reasons already listed by other commenters. You deserved to be reamed out by Axel, and it would also serve you right if your sister goes NC with you and your parents.