Yep (but also, not quite). I failed my level 3 arts capstone twice and by the time I go to the subject a third time, they had completely changed the capstone. When I got to the subject a third time after a year off, I finished up 78%. Would’ve even been higher if I’d managed to get 2 of my assessments in on time!!

My advice to you is to take your time and even reduce your workload. Underload if you can so you can put more time towards the subject you’re struggling with.

You know how in Iron Man, Tony Stark has that head-up display inside his helmet? That’s kind of what it’s like inside my brain when I’m masking. I’ll be having a conversation or doing something and I’ll just be talking, but my brain is analysing everything and giving me information about what I need to do for the interaction to be “successful.” For example, I’ll be speaking to someone and my brain will say “ask them a question about the topic they’re talking about” because then they will feel happy that someone is interested, they will think that I am a good listener, and they will think that they are the expert even if I know more about what they’re saying than they do. And then they will be happy, they will like me and have a good impression of me.

At work, I might have to call IT or go to another department to chase something up and I will stop for a moment before I start the interaction and think about what I need to get out of it. People are more likely to help me if they like me and feel like they are doing me a big favour, so I’ll be very thankful and tell them how much I appreciate them taking the time out of their busy day to help me out with something inconvenient.

It’s things like that. Not all these things are natural to me and sometimes, I don’t want to deal with people at all. But I know that these are the rules and things that NT people have and that I need to remember them and follow them at work.

You make a fantastic point about it being Autism Spectrum Disorder and not just the same thing for everyone - that’s something that I think people need to remember!!

I want to validate what you’re saying - I am saying that you’re completely right. It really sucks and I feel bad for you, but you’re completely right. I have a privilege that you don’t have and I wish your life was easier. But this is me saying that things are harder for you, it’s not your fault, it’s not because you don’t try hard enough. When you are disabled and the more disabled you are, the more effort you have to put in every single day. I struggle to word this without sounding like I’m bragging, but I hope that you feel validated. This high-masking/LSN/level 1 equivalent AuDHDer sees you and sees that things are so much harder for you!!

I’ll admit I know very little about modelling and runway walks and that stuff, but Kaia made everyone who came after her look mediocre. Nobody stood out to me until Candice Swanepoel over halfway through. I don’t know if in the model world, all those walks were good and Kaia isn’t great or something but as an observer, things look a certain way. Without any knowledge of modelling, I’d say that Kaia was one of the best there.

Oh my gosh, I wish I’d learned this when he was alive because the circumstances make this so bad to find amusing

There’s a company that makes gorgeous necklaces for this purpose called Pixie Wing!!

This is a fantastic comment - I love your point about resources. Sometimes I feel like I’m a fraud and my disabilities really aren’t that bad and that I just have to try more. But I have to remind myself that it only seems this way because I have access to resources and supports and strategies!

Don’t stress - learning and communicating in different languages is hard! I’ve never been able to successfully learn another language so you’re doing way better than me!

I certainly hope it’s a protective factor too - her own parents definitely didn’t look out for her enough

Agreed! OP’s messages could be a how-to in setting boundaries with kindness. They seem very kind!

I think OP probably isn’t a native English speaker and is just getting a bit confused with the pronouns, because pronouns are something that vary a lot between languages.

Fun fact - In Tagalog, a main language in the Philippines, they don’t use gendered pronouns. I have worked with a lot of Filipino people and got very used to them using any pronouns to describe someone. They’d flip between using “he” and “she” when talking about their kids because it’s something they don’t have in their First language, so they sometimes forget about it while speaking English!

I know right!! This is life changing information 🙌🏻🙌🏻

I work in mental health - this reminds me of the story of a client who was sectioned by police while psychotic.

They spent time in hospital and before they were discharged, the hospital social worker took them to the police station to help them report stolen credit cards and phones and stuff from while they were psychotic. The police turned around and arrested them for assaulting a police officer, because they bit a cop while the police were sectioning them.

The police hate dealing with anything mental health related though and it’s super difficult for the clinicians to get them to listen to them and help. The cops won’t listen to the triage teams and will refuse to help them bring in really unwell patients. They make things worse in the emergency department by refusing to take shackles and stuff off of patients - if someone is kicking off while being restrained, sometimes it works out that they’ll calm down when they’re unshackled!! Who’da thunk it! /s

In the case of this client who was charged with assaulting a cop, I definitely believe that they wouldn’t have been charged if they didn’t already have a criminal record, if they hadn’t had addictions issues in the past, but most importantly, if they weren’t Aboriginal. In Australia, Aboriginal and First Nations peoples make up like 3% of the national population but 33% of the prison population. In fact, Aboriginal people are the most incarcerated ethnic group in the entire world.

I was quite confused about the delivery truck one but then I realised I was misreading it as “food truck”.

Honestly, I think that what he did is the kind of thing a lot of people dream about doing. When you know that you won’t be around to experience the consequences, you say a big fuck you to big business or whatever and go Robin Hood.

Makes me think of all the product waste in big stores, all the food thrown in the rubbish, clothes that get slashed so nobody can scavenge them, all those videos from places like Sephora where they have to destroy returns and stuff before disposing of them. It disgusts me.

Girl you’re just like me fr. I hope everyone laughed at that bc it’s hilarious

Nobody can step up if she keeps burning the ladder!

This is so incredible and punchy phrasing, I’m going to put this on my little list of phrases to remember. This is such a succinct way of describing her faux-feminism

Exactly!!! I didn’t even need to look at either of the photos to know that it wasn’t Claire Danes. And OP, unless you actually provide proof you have confirmed something, you can’t just say it’s confirmed!

No worries! Just keep in mind that you may need to take off your bra regardless. But also, out of all the ECGs I’ve had, all of them have been done by women. They’re done by nurses and pathology collectors and these fields are usually full of women. If you have a man, they will understand if you’d like to have a woman perform it instead. Good luck!!

Thanks for sharing!! This is something I hadn’t thought about. This type of thing is why I said “generally” because I knew that there would be other autistics who struggle with this but I couldn’t think of the reasons why!!

That must’ve been a very uncomfortable experience, can empathise about being anxious so your heart rate won’t come down for the test!

I know my fiancés ideal type would have bigger boobs than mine, but he’d never dream of making me feel bad about my boobs. And if he did, he would be devastated. You’ve only been together two months, I wouldn’t stay with someone who makes me feel that awful. Your ideal guy is someone who loves your body as it is now, and will still think it’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen as it changes. My body has changed a lot in my relationship, and it seems my fiancés type has changed to be whatever my body is.

I’m super fkn insecure about my tummy, my fiancé is obsessed with my tummy. There are guys out there who will absolutely adore the parts of you that you’re deeply insecure about and never make you feel bad about yourself. Like I said, it’s only been two months I’d cut your losses.

ECGs are painless and generally very easy procedures. I only say “generally” because I know that while I find them easy, it won’t be the case for everyone. You lie horizontally on a bed, they put stickers (electrodes) mainly at points on your torso but sometimes at your wrists and ankles. They connect the stickers to a machine with wires, and the machine prints out a sheet with long, bumpy lines on it. These lines show how your heart is beating and if it is working well or if it is abnormal.

The most uncomfortable part of an ECG for me is that you usually have to take your top off so they can put the stickers on you. If you’re wearing a bra without a wire, you can leave that on. If you have a bra with a metal wire or nipple piercings, you’ll need to remove them.

The whole thing only takes a few minutes. It usually takes longer to get all the stickers on than it does for them to do the actual test. Not sure if you’ve had one before, but knowing what’s going to happen can make it a lot less anxious

It’s like in TV shows where they bring up the Death card in terms of literal death. Ugh I hate that so much

This is a very reasonable take. The harm that this child has experience has likely irreparably damaged her life, I just hope that she can experience the best life possible for her after all this

NTA - some people will just never understand what it’s like to be disabled. You can give a disabled person all the resources in the world but they’re still never going to function like a fully abled person.

And people simply don’t realise how much harder disability makes your life. We’re not saying that their lives aren’t hard. But telling us that we need to work full time and apply for programs and do so much extra work to get accomodations doesn’t help. At the peak of my physical issues, I couldn’t stand up for more than a few minutes at a time. But I was still working full time because I couldn’t afford not to. I was basically bed-bound at home.

You’re working as much as your body will allow you, you get the bus when you can, I think that you’re trying hard and you’re doing well. Abled people just can’t imagine how much a disability changes and impacts your life.

Currently watching and rewatching Monsters at Work (along with the Monsters Inc. movies). Series 2 came out last week and I think I’ve watched both seasons nearly every day since