A video is probably easier in the haze that is postpartum! The packet is also good for later reference probably but I think a combination is ideal.
I say that because I am usually pretty on top of things but the combination of being hospitalized for a week with round-the-clock BP checks (no solid sleep and those were high stress), multiple 24 hour mag drips, and a c-section made it hard to remember much of anything for a while. Thankfully my husband was able to bridge those gaps while my brain got closer to its normal state, but that was a really hard time for me when it just felt like an absolute sieve.
She sounds perfect!! Do it!! Our primary treated our son (and us) like family and having her (and our associate who was equally amazing) there looking out for him was such an immense weight off.
Just tell the charge nurse you don’t want that nurse on your child’s care anymore. We did it for two nurses who we did not trust with our son’s care and they were never assigned to him again. No regrets.
If you can find a nurse you do like and make them your son’s primary, that will also help with having someone you know and trust taking care of them at least 2-3 days a week.
Good luck! Be direct! It’s worth it and you are not the first person to do it, promise. It’s worth the peace of mind.
Food was definitely the most helpful. Ideally things that were easy to heat up and didn’t go bad quickly (so a good freezer meal is ideal as long as it reheats easily). Too many perishable meals at once was stressful to manage, but otherwise that was the best thing since we got home late and had basically zero free time during the week to grocery shop between work and going to the hospital (much less time to cook something beyond the quickest of meals).
Our hospital also had a Panera in it so a gift card there was nice for a bit of variety from the cafeteria or breakfast on the way in on the weekends.
(Word to the wise, if your hospital has a Panera in it, sign up for the two month free sip club!! Definitely worth it!!)
Depending on the pattern it would probably drive me crazy unless there’s a way to make it look intentional, but I also love a little road trip. Call or order ahead to make sure it’s definitely there and then get some audiobooks or podcast episodes queued up and go!
Good luck!!
I had my son at 25+4 at 600g. He, like u/mirelitkitten, also measured smaller in the ultrasounds even the day before I delivered him, so I was thanking my lucky stars that he came out bigger than I expected. He was IUGR starting at my 20 week scan and eventually I developed preeclampsia at 24+4 (was inpatient for a week before delivery) and he was delivered due to what became absent end flow. He had a 113 day NICU stay but is now home with no major complications beyond needing some oxygen for a little while while he grows some more.
My sister’s son was IUGR her entire pregnancy (<1% the whole time, based on what she’s told me) and she delivered at a scheduled induction at 37 weeks. He was 4lb 12oz at birth and they discovered at her induction that she had preeclampsia as well, but he was able to safely stay in much longer and she/he was heavily monitored during her pregnancy (at one point she had low fluid as well but it resolved). He had a 7 day NICU stay.
All that to say that IUGR itself from my anecdotal experience isn’t necessarily what will make you deliver early. It is a sign that the placenta is deficient in some way, which can be related to other issues, but as long as the flow remains good and you remain healthy, hopefully you can keep him in for a much longer time under close monitoring. My understanding (which could be wrong) is that the risk of stillbirth is higher as you get closer to term, which is why the standard of care is to deliver at 37 weeks in the case of an IUGR diagnosis.
This subreddit is immensely helpful for both information and peace of mind if you do end up delivering early (I’ve not posted much but I’ve been reading here about everything I could think of since my hospital admission began and I was terrified) but here’s hoping your little guy stays in for a long time still! Sending good thoughts your way! Hopefully in any case you have a good NICU wherever you’d be delivering. We did not at our original hospital, but another hospital in our area has a nationally-ranked level 4 NICU and I was thankfully able to be transferred there after a high BP at my OB’s office sent me to L&D for monitoring. I credit them with my son’s incredibly fortunate outcome.
We have the Grace Modes Nest stroller that we use with our SnugLite SnugFit car seat and it’s been great so far! It came with a toddler seat/pramette but we have mostly used the car seat so far.
Melanie Ham’s videos are perfect for this. Heartily seconding!
I hadn’t sewn in years but she made the first quilt easy and I still refer back to her binding technique. I have made two of those “first quilt” style, one rail fence (her video - paid), and feel like they set me up to do basically anything from there. Definitely recommend starting with precuts like she teaches so you can just get the sewing process down before you get deep into trying to get good at cutting. (Always and forever bummed that I first found her videos after she passed — she was a gem and a great teacher.)
Once you’ve got that down I recommend Nikki from PinCutSew on YouTube for expanding your repertoire a bit.
It really is, imo. I recommend the Melanie Ham first quilt binding video (RIP). This is how I learned and I much prefer hand sewing bindings to machine sewn and it’s great to do while watching something.
Here’s hoping you love it too! It’s one of my favorite parts of the quilting process (I think I just like cozying up on the couch while hand sewing things, tbh).
Are you able to ask for that nurse to be taken off your child’s care? No NICU nurse (or anyone else) should ever make you feel like that. Most of the ones we had were great but if any made us feel less than confident in their abilities or how they treated us/our son, we made it known to the charge nurse that they were no longer welcome to care for him (there were two during our stay that this happened with — zero regrets).
Sounds like this one needs to get the boot if you are constantly facing these issues with them! Also if you don’t already have a primary (or one you like), see about getting one! Our son’s primary and associate nurses treated him and us like family and it made all the difference to have them there advocating for him behind the scenes.
Good luck! Sorry you’re dealing with that but it definitely shouldn’t have to be that way!
Sending you all the best thoughts for you and your little guy! We were not facing a heart defect (though he did have IUGR) but your thoughts and feelings are so familiar to me, as I was admitted at 24+4 and delivered at 25+4 at 1lb 5oz (bigger than I had expected). The uncertainty of it all was always so hard and I couldn’t really bring myself to talk about it with anyone but my husband because the reality of losing our child was so omnipresent in those early days.
How is the NICU at your hospital? We heard a lot about the heart kids at ours and obviously if you don’t know the exact issue it’s hard to say more but these doctors (and nurses and other providers) are SO good at what they do and these babies are often very resilient.
I am writing this as I feed my own little guy a middle of the night bottle at home after our >100 day stay ended a few weeks ago. This subreddit was a huge source of comfort to me during that time as I tried to figure out if the odds were going to be in our favor. I never posted, but I read a LOT of posts any time something new would come up in our journey to help me wrap my head around the possibilities.
Don’t give up hope, ask questions until you get answers you can understand, and lean on people here for support and insight/experience! It’s so cliche but take things a day at a time. Hopefully soon you’ll wonder where the months went as you make it one day after the next (I truly can’t believe it’s almost June). Rooting for you! ❤️
Highly recommend this recipe if you’re swimming in basil: Cookie and Kate Caprese Sandwich
I make the basil sauce by hand (my food processor is too large to do it effectively) and just reduce balsamic vinegar on the stove; it is one of my favorite lunch recipes!
Well maybe you’ll get lucky! I got three packages of batting (accidentally) for free after buying it during a Black Friday (or thereabouts) sale last year.
It took FOREVER to ship but then I just… never got charged for it? Something else small in my order was charged (thread I think?) but for whatever reason the batting didn’t get charged when it shipped like it should have. 🤷♀️
Fat Quarter Shop and Stitch Supply Co are two I’ve had good luck with!
Thank you!! Just went to find it and it’s this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsnark/s/KZSdqiagTc
I wish I could remember what post it was but someone referenced the statement (which I am badly paraphrasing) “just because it hurt me doesn’t mean it harmed me” — you can dislike something or have a negative feeling about it without it being ~trauma~ and I wish these people could make that distinction.
(Also wish I had saved that comment now because I am not doing it justice!)
Couldn’t help myself. (Please let me know if either of you want it instead!)
RIP floor tomato
I think I’ve honestly grown numb to her using that phrase. 😂
And now she’s “memaw” Haley (🤢) at the ripe old age of (IIRC) 34. Yike.
This is very stupid snark but in a story she links to a post about their IKEA printer cart that they use as a Lego/Duplo table.
The description on the post begins “ten years ago, Baby Haley found an old Ikea printer cart on Facebook Marketplace” — now, I was not an early adopter of FB Marketplace and have only ever used it a handful of times but I could not believe it was already ten years old. Well, it’s not. It was introduced in October 2016.
I don’t fully know why this bothers me (maybe just factual inaccuracy?) but it just does. 🙃
We did vaccinations on that schedule for our 25 weeker and were aware that sometimes the 2 month shots can have short term side effects (just like 24-48 hours, if at all) but thankfully our guy thrived after his and had no issues. We were told the Hep B vaccine at 30 days typically did not have side effects in the same way and he did not experience any.
We felt it was important to follow the schedule the hospital recommended and the nurses and doctors know that the babies won’t usually be their best selves for things like feeding and other benchmarks in that 24-48 hour window.
He was slightly out of sorts for a day after his 4 month shots (same shots as 2 month but he was discharged by then so they were done at his pediatrician’s office) but bounced back quickly.
Definitely recommend getting your kid vaccinated on the recommended schedule. There might be short term discomfort but it’s absolutely worth the long term benefit for a kid with such a compromised immune and respiratory system.
Vaccinations for 28 week premie
NICUParents