I used to really like another one of our subs but unfortunately it seems as though this is truly the only one that caters to women who only like women.
Ugh. What a world.
the reality is that dating is hard no matter what, and people are people. the best way to answer these questions is to experiment by living your life. I’m 34 now, and in 2009 I remember going to a valentine’s day speed dating event with a friend- it was heterosexual and I was going for moral support. I had just been dumped by my gf of 3 years, and was all fucked up over it. So we went, and for shits I marked being interested in getting to know one dude more because he seemed nice, was in med school, and was capable of interesting conversation. There was no butterfly feelings or anything like that but I guess I wondered if it might be easier or possible.
so we met up at this buffalo wing place, and right off the bat I realized that it was stupid for me to be there because I felt nothing. first dates should give me butterflies and nervousness and excitement. but i just felt nothing- maybe a little dread about having to tell him. we chatted and ended up talking about what kinds of women we liked and he tried to set me up with his sister, who was definitely not my physical type at all so I politely left on that note.
never questioned myself again because of how ludicrous the whole thing felt from beginning to end.
when i see well-dressed men (I love the styling of a good suit- just looks so slick) I might think “oh he looks dapper/handsome/well-dressed”, but never think “oh he’s hot” or any iteration of that. when I see androgynous looking women I used to swoon and get dumb (especially if they are in a suit- my wife on our wedding day was…. woof…. so sexy).
I’m not saying you need to date men to figure out if you like them, I’m just saying that we learn and become more confident in ourselves through experiencing life. Stop spending so much time online. Go meet people and pay attention to how they make you feel when you see or interact with them.
my wife is so butchy looking (100% clockable from a distance as “gay”) but is actually bisexual homoromantic. Before we met she actually had a FWB who was a man. People just assume she is a lesbian, and so she never has to explain that she is married to a woman because people already “know”.
it’s interesting specifically because I look straight-passing in terms of looks but am 100% lesbian, and have to internally debate how speak conversationally depending on who I’m talking to. I am almost a PA, and lots of patients ask ab my life and I often have to resort to calling her my “spouse” and then let people fill in the blanks. Idk. it’s just interesting how differently we traverse the world.
well since the thing in the back of my mind constantly is that I might have cancer it’s really hard to care about that, unfortunately.
trying to re-frame it as “i can either die as a PA or as someone who quit trying”… it’s kind of dramatic but it’s just where my head is at.
I’ve never been able to stick to self scheduling beyond setting subject goals (cardio on this day, GI on the next…) and trying usually results in anger and frustration. Thankfully my program paid for us to do a weeklong review course that seems pretty good.
Just need to pluck through the subjects I think. At the end of this I will wish I could burn Rosh lol- hate Rosh. But also love it.
thank you for responding- I hope your next appointment post-tumor board yields good news for you
thank you for responding! he’s the only one who I hadn’t researched (out of 3) and somehow was surprised to get my first appt with him.
rationally I know that i’m just trying to control a situation I have no control over by over researching everyone involved in my care. this whole thing is just dumb.
Dr. Brock Lindsey
at johns hopkins- has anyone been treated by him? what did you think? I had hoped to see another dr there because I know someone who worked with him but this doctor is available sooner and my care has been delayed a few times already so I kind of want to get the ball rolling.
do surgeons get input from other surgeons? can a patient request that their case get reviewed by the tumor board?
Motivation for final push
Is anyone else at the end of the journey and struggling to study for the PANCE? I am so tired. A lot of personal stuff is going on for me right now (wife is pregnant, weird and very stressful health issue), applying for jobs, etc. I’m scheduled to take it at the end of this month, and my scores on EOC (right at the average) and post clinical packrat (159 so a couple points less than average) were neutral.
Ughhh I’m just… tired. I’m also not great at sticking to schedules that I have to create myself. Anyone relate? How are you all finding those last crumbs of determination?
Send help.
The time sounds like it’s now because:
-what you want isn’t congruent with what she can give you
-you aren’t comfortable bringing up issues with her (walking on eggshells) to try to improve them
-it doesn’t sound like she’s willing to try to change any of her behavior or choices
don’t keep falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy. you deserve better than that
I mean you said you didn’t know if you were a lesbian so…
because they are the other end of the spectrum. ask bisexual people at r/bisexual if you identify with them more.
the only person who can truly validate you is you and it’s fine to be bisexual either way.
it’s fine that you are bisexual. there’s no prize for being a lesbian. and there’s a whole community for your people at r/bisexual
are you asking straight people this too? because it’s not fair to only ask us.
the reason i like this sub is because for the most part people over 25 have worked out their identity issues. see a therapist.
this isn’t a question for reddit. ask a therapist
oh that really sucks because they truly are adorable. Maybe someone makes knee highs that have those stripes? I think knee highs stay up better (they do for me anyway)
very cute! I would be boiling in thigh high socks but they are def cute
possibly a vasovagal response to seeing the blood, which may have been from going too hard.
I assume the people that do this also use similar tools to help themselves learn, and thus it’s just an extension of how they explain things to themselves. Unfortunately I don’t learn that way, and my attempts at explanation using those tools with patients usually results in hilarity (and the need to go back to explaining without the tools after wasting a bunch of time).
whenever I sleep in too long I feel like absolute dog shit for the rest of the day. seems normal
POV: you have chronic illness
illnessfakers