Yet your fiancé encouraged you to move into the home of her shitshow mother, KNOWING what she was like…
I’m side-eyeing your fiancée.
You couldn’t pay me to move in with my mother much less me inflict her on my husband.
Next birthday they simply shouldn’t be there. Keep the actual day for yourselves do cake etc and if you must see these people - do an activity outside the house. No cake or candles as we already did that.
Spitting the toothpaste out after brushing my teeth, apparently is supposed to fall from my mouth.
I’m VVLC with that one…
Stop telling her your business and maybe ignore her calls for a bit.
You had a miscarriage due to the stress HE ALLOWED these people to put on you, now he thinks you should return for more?!
Throw the whole man out and his shit family.
HE sounds like an awful selfish person. I’d be gone.
I kind of agree.
This was before him. If he has insecurities now it’ll be even worse if you tell him you boned his dad.
Nothing good will come of telling him.
NTA.
Her own parents can pay for her college. She doesn’t get to dismiss her cousin’s trauma and then expect his dad to still pay for her college.
She can get loans.
And don’t have a guest room…
Ewwwww…. So true but still so gross.
Lack of personal hygiene is a deal breaker.
Take your stinky arse back to whence it came. Nope. Nasty.
Tell him it’s not going to work and get him to pack his shit and get out.
Who knows? For now I’ll take it at face value.
That’s the thing though, most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a housewife if that’s what you want.
Especially if you’re happy and you have a supportive and reliable partner.
L
I don’t like that he didn’t offer help to be a genuine friend but to wedge himself back into her life, whilst she’s grieving and vulnerable no less.
Nope. It’s gross.
NTA.
You’re being very reasonable to consider marriage counselling, even if it’s only to get answers as to why he went behind your back.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
SD’s mother is stirring the pot so hard. She hasn’t at any point considered your grief at all, it feels like it’s all about messing with you.
I’m sorry.
Don’t bring baby.
You don’t want grieving people crying all over your baby whilst passing them around like an emotional support joint.
Nope.
It’s so awful what’s happened to her but keeping the baby…
Then explaining to the child later where they came from if she manages to keep the child to herself without his involvement. The child may want to know their sperm donor later in life, who knows.
This scenario has heartache, stress and eventual shitshow written all over it.
I feel bad for OP, so bad especially as she’s refusing to see how problematic her thinking is.
She’ll be living in your house before you can say ‘unpacked’…
Couples counselling before baby comes.
She’ll use that as her way in when you tell bf no to the splitting her living costs 3 ways. Even if this were to work - she’d still ask for money.
She’ll offer to help with baby or be over so much and will stay over, then that room will be HER room. You need to have some serious discussions with your bf.
You guys can’t afford to support her.
Do you work? If so, will you be expected to pick up the money shortfall when he can’t meet his financial obligations at home? Or if you don’t work, will you and baby be expected to go without so she can have drinking money…?
Get ahead of this OP. Otherwise your life is about to become a shitshow.
Why doesn’t she get a job?
Stay there. Do not return. Let him stay there living with his mommy.
He’s a waste of your time.
ETA. Do as he said. Don’t contact him, don’t contact any of them. Have a lawyer sort everything out - then go live the rest of your life.
How would you know that? I’m sorry but it simply suits you to believe that.
You’re assuming she doesn’t know the rapist.
And then denying the connection…
Sorry OP, but your mother is lying, and it doesn’t look like she’s ever going to tell you to e truth either.
I think my mom has been lying for 30 years about who my father is.
TrueOffMyChest