Umm I don’t have any actual groceries in my house at the moment. A cauliflower steak with cheese? Not even sauce as I have no milk.

I’m tired and haven’t been shopping. And I’m on a low carb diet so Gordon Ramsey won’t enjoy dinner. But cauliflower and cheese is delicious so I will.

Hell. It is almost impossible to make proper friendships and move beyond social niceties most of the time. Most friendships I have are from a long time ago as making new friends is hard!

Yep. It’s about $200 for one adult and her cat her. And $300 when there’s two adults with the cat. $250 seems about right for a couple when the husband eats lunch at work to me.

Withdrew an offer immediately once I had a ridiculous counteroffer. It’s not worth the bother.

Good question. I would like to think we will work through it as we do communicate well. But at some point we have to do more than talking about it and make some changes. And I’m tired of the same conversations.

It has been a very rough time for both of us in the last year and we both were just trying to survive. In some ways we got closer, but it also showed that the same issues keep coming up. And I realise that things suit him just fine. In my head, I have a timeline now.

I hope we are able to move forward together but I will be okay if we don’t. I might be an intelligent, independent and self sufficient woman, but can still be silly and soft for a man I know that after a few tears, I would be fine without.

He does exactly what he wants and made his life exactly how he wants it. But he isn’t willing to compromise at all on that. He says he understands that I don’t want to change how we work entirely (which mostly suits me as well) but I need more flexibility and to feel supported sometimes.

For example, when I was sick, he visited and was great for his usual visit. But I wasn’t able to do anything and he never thinks to stay a couple of days just to help out. It makes me feel bad. I haven’t had a great couple of years and I’ve just been focusing on getting through them. Now things are getting better I was thinking about it and realised that I didn’t have the support I want from a relationship but he’s able to give it to others when he wants to. So he doesn’t want to.

I’m in a relationship which has many wonderful aspects but the problems we have now were there right from the beginning. He’s a kind, caring and intelligent man who has a job and also cooks, cleans and shares household jobs without being asked. He’s also utterly selfish.

I stay because at first I believed him. I don’t anymore. He is honest about the issues but while he says he wants to change them, he never will. He benefits too much from the status quo.

Because I care for him and he gets me. I get him too. We are very good together most of the time.

I’m often happy so it isn’t all unhappiness. But I’ve also settled for less than I should have. Maybe it is because deep down I have low self worth, or because we are doomed to repeat unhealthy patterns of our lives, or because I was stupidly naive and got too attached to the wrong person.

I do know that it will only end if I end it. In some ways, it is too good to break up, but the problems are such that I will eventually break us up.

It’s pretty awesome. There are other problems with our relationship, but this isn’t one of them. We don’t live together full time so it’s nice when we are together and as we are both introverted, nice to have alone time. Also I’ve had an injury so am often up in pain from hours. When I am alone, I fall back asleep quicker.

Spend too much time on social media, read a book, watch too much tv, do a jigsaw, cook dinner, care for the cat, exercise, occasionally catch up with friends.

My mother puts a nice, but decent sized plastic tray on the table next to the bed so guests can drop their toiletries and clutter etc without marking up the furniture. It’s so easy to not worry about spillage etc.

Yep, as someone who sold a home, being in a good area, tidy and well maintained got me a good price. The new bathroom did not. I did the bathroom because of a leak, not to sell so I don’t mind though!

I also put a vacation of a lifetime I couldn’t quite afford on a credit card. In January 2020. I almost delayed it a year until I could save, and how happy am I that I just went and enjoyed myself. Haven’t been able to leave my country since as I was injured as soon as travel opened up.

A dehumidifier in the bedrooms

Wipe windows down of mois5ure in 5he morning.

Open windows when you can.

Run the heatpump over night on the lowest temperature possible. It’s this or move somewhere better,

I used to work with neurodiverse children. I didn’t see it then but recently ran into one of their mothers who just got diagnosed herself. Well, we always got on for a reason! I have several relatives with a diagnosis. I use a lot of strategies recommended for people with adhd but came across them accidentally. I am unlikely to bother getting a diagnosis. I don’t think it would benefit me.

But there is a growing understanding that ADHD and trauma responses can look very similar. I would like to know how experts could tell the difference in a person as I’m sure a few of us have been through some stuff.

Yep . In my country the process works differently but the realtors also don’t seem to understand price limits. Wasted so much time and effort while not buying a home.

Yep. A handy 6 weeks before I got Covid. I wasn’t as sick as the other people I know who caught it this time. And it seems to be very easily caught but the people I am most likely to infect caught it weeks after I recovered.

Best answer. Wait for a bit and then decide.

Also late 40s. Definitely my people here :-)

It’s certainly getting tighter. I’m watching the budget and mostly making it work.

I noticed the huge cost increases in consumer goods since Covid mean that I’m making things last significantly longer. I’m moving soon and actually do need some new furniture as it’s a permanent, but smaller place but I won’t be buying it any time soon.

I notice that people are still shopping but seem to be buying less. I avoid any sort of shopping without a list as it is my easy way of staying in budget, but I used to be one of the few. Now I regularly see people who appear to have a planned purchase or are carrying nothing. Even the food courts last time on a weekend were comfortably buzzy not crazy busy like they used to be. I went to one of my favourite shops during a sale a few weeks ago and was surprised at how few people were there. Usually it would be a very busy and uncomfortable experience. I even got a changing room without queuing!

My sense is that people are being cautious and careful about discretionary shopping. That indicates to me that they are more likely to either have increased cost of living for essentials or they are concerned about saving for a rainy day e.g. job security. I’m not sure it’s a crisis for everyone but there’s definitely some caution in the air,

Well we invented the attitude. We didn’t call it anything because nobody listens to us anyway. I believe these are all actually being ‘slackers’ which is definitely our word.

Don’t fall into a trap of doing the things for someone else. My partner is a man with grown children. He can do the dishes, cook a meal and clean house. He can schedule a doctors appointment and remember to take his own children to the dentist. I have to fight some deep instincts to not get up and do it for him. And they are not my children so it is definitely not my place unless I’m asked to in a scheduling conflict.

If I allowed myself to interrupt his cleaning, I’m insulting him and his contributions. I’ve seen friends do it and done that myself in past relationships and now I treat him like a man and partner not someone I need to care for.

If you do it, they will probably let you. If you complain about the way they do it, they will probably stop doing it. So just stay seated and say thanks when they do things. If he made the pizza, thank him and say it is delicious. And next time if he asks 5 times just remind him to follow the instructions on the box.

And as two adults in a relationship, when there is resentment or an issue, we discuss it and come up with something that works. It keeps the spark of being a couple alive.

This. I realised my attention span eroded in Covid lockdowns and I missed being able to concentrate on novels and movies. I started just putting my device down when watching tv, so I could actually watch an hour episode of something without looking at my phone. Then moved to shorter rewatches and rereads of favourite movies and books. I still find a 3 hour movie needs an intermission or two nights though! But a lot of movies are just not edited enough - Oppenheimer and Dune could easily have been 20 minutes shorter.

This. I’ve never had enough money to take expensive multiple holidays but socialising with friends and day trips are hugely important to me. So I have a budget that allows me to enjoy myself. I don’t drink much, and have cut out the spending that isn’t necessary and doesn’t make me happy. I don’t care about most subscriptions and buying work lunches so I don’t spend much on them.

I am house hunting so am spending very very little at the moment on non-essentials for the simple reason that I don’t want to pack and move more than I have to. It is frugal but the decision was more about convenience than saving a bit more money.

1. It was a big adjustment during the pandemic and I’m not going to lie- I felt very lonely and isolated. I have a cat and friends, and a frequent overnight guest who makes me happy. Then I am happy on my own doing my own thing.

Well, I’m pretty sure Clarkson is famous for going off-script so I suspect there may be a general storyboard somewhere connected to his plans for the farm and the tv show, but it’s probably quite often ignored when things happen. And the lambing shed might be there for the simple reason baby lambs would attract visitors and fans of his show to his shop. And it could also be an overflow space for other things.

Today’s probably the wrong day to ask. I’m a bit thin skinned at the moment. Like my job, am generally very good at it, management is mixed but there’s a nasty undercurrent and I’ve had an injury and health issue and it put me off my game for a while. Almost recovered, and catching up but the nasty stuff makes me wonder why I care about doing a good job. I am not planning on changing jobs for a couple of years as I’ve got a project I’m excited about which is a good CV booster so am reassessing how I deal with this.

Day to day, I try to take my lunch break every day, and exercise regularly as it burns some of the tension off. I talk to my friends about it and support my colleagues in a similar position through doing my job and acknowledging their efforts. I’m not the only person in this so it’s important to not feed the nastiness!

Getting ideas from you, so thanks people.