Mandy and Joel seem to be the only ones who post any “political” content these days. Unless we count Steffy and her local school board.

I was that teen with an extremely cluttered room, and now I’m a 35yo into simple living and cozy but streamlined decor. Teens need time to work out who they are and explore their interests. It may help more to encourage and explore with her based on her specific interests. Examples: she’s into clothing? Teach her to thrift, how to find great items secondhand, how to recognize quality construction, how to mend and care for items. She’s into reading? Help her visit indie bookstores, scout out little free libraries, use your local library and Libby app, maybe join a book club, etc. She’s artsy? Get quality supplies, they’re more worth it. Repurpose items for art, collage together, visit museums. If I had more outlets for my interests as a teen other than simply shopping for them I think that I would have discovered simple living joy sooner.

I am not here to armchair diagnose your girlfriend, but some of what you’ve described sounds a lot like my adhd + autism combo. Either of those or both together can bring executive functioning struggles, pickiness, black and white thinking, emotional dysregulation, sleep struggles, etc. However, regardless of possible causes, there’s still no excuse for her to take all of her struggles out on you. If she’s interested in getting help for whatever exactly is going on with her then it may be possible for you to have a healthy relationship. But you can’t continue forever as you are because you’re correct that it’s very codependent and stifling for you.

I just received the sample set and the Goddess Alchemy. I am not an expert by any means, but here are my extremely amateur impressions:

Love Flight of a Candy Heart - does smell just like a candy heart to me. Very sugary, and I don’t get a summery vibe, it’s more Valentine’s Day imo.

Scarlet Kiss - something about the strawberry creaminess nauseates me, it makes me think of a spoilt milkshake. Will let it rest another week and test again but not a fan so far.

The Secret Garden - agree with the poster describing this as sexy forest elf. It’s not my personal style, but it’s intriguing.

Furze & Fern - moving beyond elves, this is what a sexy lizard would wear.

Uncharted - I can’t pick up every individual note, but it’s an alluring aquatic. I gave it to my spouse and prefer it on him.

Siren’s Spell - I’m biased as I like nearly everything with jasmine, but I LOVE this one. Felt the most summery to me in this collection. It’s sunscreen-y but more the vibe of going out at night after a long beach day. I don’t feel like I’m still on the beach, I feel like I’m having a cocktail on a seaside patio and you can still smell my sunscreen through my perfume.

Goddess Alchemy - really lovely spa florals is accurate. It’s gorgeous in the bottle but I’m not sure about it on me. I’m testing it a few more times and may list for sale.

Congratulations on your hard work paying off! As others have noted, it’s possible that your size will continue to shift. It may help you to pause and evaluate what you really enjoy wearing, what your preferred makeup style is, how often you like to use different perfume or if you’d rather have a signature scent, etc. Really nailing down your personal style can be a good use of the energy that is currently directed at shopping. Shopping is a small part of having personal style yet we often focus exclusively on shopping and neglect the planning, the experimenting with our wardrobe, the playing with hair and makeup, etc. It could be fun to check out a bunch of fashion books from the library, make some Pinterest boards, explore style systems, and really develop your specific look. Also, while you’re fluctuating in sizes it may be more practical to join something like a monthly clothing rental service rather than buying stuff that won’t fit soon. While clothing rental is still an expense, it’s a set amount per month and it’s a once per month decision instead of constant shopping.

Seconding this. I’ve had a lot of success with imago when a partner is willing to do the work too. I also recommend the book I Want This To Work

I agree! I feel like she was influenced by Joel & his pigeon, except that designer items are actual part of his personal style.

I genuinely like the frog purse, but I enjoy dumb novelty designer items. Posh is not the place to sell that purse for $700.

She was, but that’s something Arielle could have done to extend the olive branch and maybe it wasn’t reciprocated.

So she only wants to read books that “teach her something” - did anyone learn something from her book?! This may be her worst take yet. Steffy against all of literature.

Wow does she ever have a type

From one feminist to another: there are many sex-negative feminists and plenty you can learn about them. You don’t need to stay married to one though. This sounds like codependence. You’re already doing everything in this relationship, why waste your efforts when someone else would greatly appreciate you?

I hate that I noticed this - the last time they all went to a sponsored event together, afterward Joel/Rach/Noelle/Mandy got dinner and Arielle didn’t despite being at the event. But who knows whether she turned it down to be financially responsible or if she wasn’t invited.

I think you’re right, and I’ve been wondering the same thing. I honestly feel bad for Rach in this specific situation; all other issues aside, it seems like she tries to be a good friend. Joel and Noelle both hyped her up a bunch as a ride or die friend when they were chatting in stories coming back from their ski trip, and Mandy just complimented her lots as a great travel buddy. Rach really gave Arielle her friend group and loads of support. It seems like you’d have to be an actively unpleasant mooch for her to get fed up.

Sincere question - is Susan Alexandra? I haven’t found anything, so if you’ve seen more please lmk. Not that being apolitical is a good look either of course.

Yeah I really don’t think so. She’s not writing a song full of football references for Matty. “These blokes warm the benches/We’ve been on a winning streak/He jokes that "It’s heroin, but this time with an ‘E’" - her British exes are benchwarmers, Travis is included in the “we” and he’s the one making the joke

I mean this totally sincerely with no shade - I’m honestly shocked that a Taylor Swift fan would find Cheryl Strayed incredibly narcissistic. To me they’re very similar types - emotional, dramatic, tendency to overshare but make it work. I love Tiny Beautiful Things, have cried to it and gifted it to friends many times. If anyone wants to try it out before committing to the whole book you can read some of the best columns here.

That’s a Matty reference but it’s not his song. “He jokes that it’s heroin but this time with an e” implies Travis taking a dig at her shitty ex

You nailed it - and it seems like Matty lovebombed her with her deepest insecurities, exactly what Joe wouldn’t/couldn’t give her. All the references to marriage and babies cut deep. As a mid 30s woman those particular fears are extra relatable and devastating. No one needs to marry and have kids, but she clearly wants to, so that’s an extra fucked up thing for various fuckboys to use against her over the years.

It’s honestly bizarre to me that they’d want to hide behind an Etsy shop and pay fees to Etsy when she could probably make much more $ just by setting up her own merch website. It’s the same amount of work with the drop shipping merch printers.

Highly recommend following #dopaminedressing to find colorful fun outfit content

I think she’s simply talking about her experience and looking back on her mindset while writing them, it’s still a beautiful song! I just find it funny that our queen of denial isn’t talking about the latest Swiftie news nonstop when it hits too close to home.

How’s our favorite Swifte handling the news that Lover is on the denial playlist? “This is a list of songs about getting so caught up in the idea of something that you have a hard time seeing red flags, possibly resulting in moments of denial and maybe a little bit of delusion”

I went to B&N specifically to flip through it and it was honestly much worse than I expected. Her insta is exciting and well-written compared to her book.

I think it also seemed drastic because she tried hard for a while to convince us that she was so body positive and happy with her higher weight. She should do whatever she wants with her body but the change in influencing priorities was a bit dramatic.