I think the key point is that you've decided to only escalate relationships where people are friendly to start. Hopefully you are screening dates for people that are open to KTP and are open to meeting meta(s) early on.

It is a subtle point, but escalating and investing in a relationship and then dictating the level and type of friendship and hangouts is what is crappy, at least to my mind.

I don't know if this is the case for you, but many queer polyamorous comminities are small enough that there are a lot of linkages between people anyway. My social group is sf fandom, and the communuty aspect means that polyamory is typically a bit different than less connected groups. You typically know people or know of them at least. I had my friend meta's friend meta come up to me at a gathering and introduce herself as, "So you're my fifth!"

Also, if you date another person that likes to host, hopefully you would be open to sitting around their table.

Oh great idea! I have one for paddling, never thought of it for swimming. Would just need the bottoms then.

I would appreciate the ability to select very rare as well, I sell bosses / very rare / chroma and the rest are tokens. But the list is already pretty long... It might be like the inventory sort, where everyone had their favorite sort they wanted to add. [I'd still love to order by just worth of the item, that would help a lot in market to figure out what to sell.

And it counts towards a badge. Only 24.9993b to go!

Refresh button when a bucket is selected please!

Right now when I start with an empty bucket and then catch fish, I have to exit and re-enter the bucket to have them show up.

I think this QOL refresh would also really help newbie fishers. A bucket with only 5 slots is very small - you can only fish 1-2 times with many tools. At least I started with a pink bucket too, and even just 15 slots was hard and frustrating to enter and exit to update to sell.

I'd go tankini over boxer type bottoms.

Now I am thinking I want that! But I already have a sports one piece that works really well for swimming.

Sexy Librarian vibes

OP (and commentor), we recommend not DMing because that is unmoderated, unfortunately there are people that troll here. I am hoping commentor is not one, just be aware it is at your own risk.

For both OP and commentor: I recommend joining the FB group Monocorn Sanctuary. That is moderated, by Phoebe Philips. It is for both monogamous / monoamorous people that are happy in polyamory, and those that are trying to see if they can accept their partner wanting polyamory even though they want to be closed. There are a lot of shared information on norms in polyamory, about what people can expect is fair in supporting their relationship needs. People then better can figure out whether it is their own emotions or whether they are indeed not being treated well. Plus you can talk safely there!

I also recommend reading for a few weeks here. Sort by new (you get broader view than in sorting by hot, which tend to be dumpster fires, aka polyamory done badly). Resources in the sidebar help too.

~

OP, I have to say that your husband is living in a fantasy, of a live-in harem. He doesn't seem to have done any work on figuring out what polyamory actually entails. For one, it is extremely rare that metamours (your partner's partner) live together. You can definitely refuse to share a household.

If you agreed (and the ex's husband agreed) to polyamory, they could date long distance right now. That is the POINT of polyamory, 75% of the work is supporting your partners in having other partners. What - he can't emotionally deal with her having two partners?! Polyamorous people date other polyamorous people that WANT and are HAPPY in a polyamorous relationship. (Also - she doesn't appear to be willing to try to force open her own relationship. Food for thought.)

The idea that she is going to magically get divorced, deal with custody over the distance of a continent, live under the same roof as you while you support them both (and possibly have 6 kids living with you) while both of you remain faithful to him is a HAREM FANTASY. On top of a lot of other fantasy, it needs a whole bizarre chain of wishful thinking to happen.

Also, YOU are the parent. She gets no say in how they are raised or what their faith is. If your husband decides to become pagan then you need to negotiate on talking about faith with the kids [I would attempt an agreement that he needs to learn about his faith on his own - parroting her is not a faith], and he is the only one who should be talking with them about his faith. NOT HER. She is not a parent.

Who dared downvote you now? Upvoting to make up. Sheesh.

Bad bot.

Hope you all have fun ;-)

I am a premium member and I think locking in quests before a reroll would be too OP.

Just getting to reroll is already a huge reward.

Weekly rewards requires 15 daily quests, that is only 2 per day and one with three. It's very possible to do without rerolls. If a late reroll is useless, you're not off track to weekly.

That reroll is a bonus, and whether and when to reroll is a strategy. (Some people maximize daily rewards and reroll immediately if there is not a larger reward they want).

If the badge ever changes to require upkeep, that will apply to everyone. There shouldn't be any addional risk to resetting the bundles.

You can increase the length of your stream. You gain xp points for maintaining a stream, and at 100 xp points you gain a level. At higher levels the stream lasts longer, and your average viewers is higher.

I am at level 125, so my stream length is 177 minutes, nearly 3 hours.

You are unlikely to stream for days, even just hitting the chat button has a (small) chance of failure.

Plus you don't want to stream for days! - you only get streak credit (which increases sponsors) if you start a stream that day. I hit the red end button at the start of each server day to start a new stream and increase my streak {over 800 now).

For giveaways, there is no way to see when your current giveaway ends. After inputing all the information for a giveaway, there is just the message "you can't host more than one giveaway." This makes it difficult to complete high giveaway daily challenges with hourly spacing (already difficult to do 15x with no boost such as energy drink) and work towards the badge.

I try to do things hourly, but there is timeslip from running commands; I see less than less than 30 sec to do rustymachine frequently. But with giveaways I don't know whether I have seconds to wait or whether I forgot and did it later, such that it is now off by a large chunk of time.

Work, stream, use rustymachine, scratch, grind commands, fish catch, farm, pet fetch - basically all other commands show you your cooldown / time to completion (farm), or are available in the profile cooldown for use. Please put in a time indicator (or at least put in cooldowns) for giveaways as well.

You are very unlucky! Or probably just grind a lot.

There is a 0.1% chance of 3 shovels breaking in a row.

Depends on what you are aiming for.

You can't sell delta 9, you can craft it into a delta 9 roll for a large luck boost (and small chance of a nerf). Also, you don't get seeds back from growing delta 9. Better for grinding, or a showcase flex.

You can sell watermelons on the market, you get 1-2 seeds back, and can sell both on the market. Better for cash.

It's if you want more bundle boxes.

Or I suppose do more recent ones.

Very true - we are writing our own manuals (and it gets easier to figure out, too!)

I should figure out bullet points so it is easier to follow (and people will actually read).

Self-soothing and social network should also go in there, prob as part of fixing 1.

Dating converts often doesn't work. People aren't good at projecting emotional needs into the future. Converts might be intellectually okay with it at the start, but once things deepen to love, emotionally they realize they only want exclusivity. The second point where things often fall apart is in gaining a new partner - even if previous partners were 'grandfathered in.'

The solution is to date people that want polyamory, or at least non-monogamy. The pool is a lot smaller, but you'll be rewarded with a partner that is happy and enthusiastically open. If you do try dating a convert again, be upfront before the first date on being non-monogamous, and start as you mean to go on - be open from the beginning. You'll also need to spend time extra time listening / reading / talking about polyamory resources together; there are similarities to opening a relationship, so those would be helpful to include.

Right now you are at an impasse that is equivalent to one of you wanting kids and the other not. There is no halfway compromise between the two.

I view negative emotions as like warning lights in cars. Unfortunately they aren't very specific, no automatic code reader for us! Instead it requires a lot of internal processing. The jealousy light might trip more easily because of personality or trauma; or it might be a sign of needs not being met (along with figuring out what those needs are); or it could be indicating things really are going wrong in the relationship [distancing and/or changes such that currently supported needs are no longer being met].

Internal processing helps in sorting between 1 and 2/3, (some aids include journaling, speaking into a recorder, personal therapist) and communicating helps separate 2 and 3 (non-violent communication, I feel x when you y, couples therapy are some good tools). RADAR (sidebar) can also be helpful in having a scheduled time to communicate about the relationship - cuts down on unprocessed in-the-moment emotions, and relationship time as a whole getting swallowed up by them.

And have you been scheduling time with her? Just having a solid calendar plan can help to feel wanted and reduce anxiety.

They also specifically told you they didn't want to be open at all. So no, it wouldn't work because they would be unhappy.

You would both be in a polyamorous relationship structure, there is not exclusivity. Doing polyamory is about 75% doing the work to support partners having other relationships. I think you sense that being open on one side is really unfair to your partner(s) - because it is. It is pretty selfish to expect your partner to put in all the emotional labor to be okay with you being with other people, and not being willing to put in the work yourself.

Usually monogamy is concerned with sexual and romantic exclusivity, so it depends on how the couple defines that. There are people that consider themselves monogamous where flirting and even kissing is part of their agreements (though likely not going on dates). But expect that both partners can flirt / kiss / cuddle / sext or whatever their agreements are.

The majority of people that experience attraction can be attracted to more than one person at the same time. Monogamy is a choice and a mutual agreement to remain exclusive. Polyamory is a relationship structure with the agreements that romance and sex are non-exclusive - you might be better suited to that structure, but you have to give your partner(s) the same freedom. Until then, it is just an unrealistic fantasy.

Just 10 now.

Your friend might have the upgrade triggered on 19 promotions, or might need the full previous 20 to upgrade. Then he will get them on 10 like everyone else.