Thank you for your detailed response! That's great to hear that stealing blankets is less of an issue with the quilt, perhaps because of less room to roll around (or at least that was my hope!)? I was hoping that in cooler weather there might be a hope that body heat could help with our temperature regulation, since I am a perpetual ice block and he is a furnace, so I'm glad to hear it works in cooler weather!

That does look great and I appreciate the feedback! But we are trying to upgrade 1 item at a time and sleeping bags are definitely the most imminent need so I am hesitant to go for another pad right now, especially if we are going to be getting separate quilts. That pad is roughly 200g heavier than our current 2 pads together.

Thanks for your insight, that was my biggest concern!

Two singles. There is not really room in the tent to shift around to form a pad crater. My understanding is that a double pad would have separate cells for both sides (which increases weight) or if it does not then it becomes a problem for 2 people at very different weights?

This is exactly what my fiancé and I are planning. We are inviting immediate family only and planning on a nice dinner for our family and priest after but that is the extent of the celebration. I got my dress for < $100 (clearance from almost $1000!) and fiancé is probably wearing a suit he already has. No photographers, save the dates, invites, etc. Including fees for various precana workshops, rings, flowers for the church, a solid tip for our priest, and donation to the church we should still be well under $10k. We have good jobs so money isn't an issue, we just both dislike the consumerism and spectacle that modern American weddings have become.

I’m glad you have talked to him and it sounds like there is a resolution on the way! I wrote out a response and then walked away to make dinner before posting so I will go ahead and post my thoughts even if they are not needed lol.

This sort of situation has come up in precana discussions with my fiancé and priest. My job is usually fairly relaxed but there will be very stressful periods 2-3 times / year with very hard deadlines that necessitate working around the clock for a few weeks. We have historically had the opposite problem where he anticipates that I would prefer to get time to myself when I am not working to decompress and then I feel neglected because he is not giving me support in the way that I want.

The summary of that conversation was that we need to better communicate what we both need when we are stressed, and that since marriage requires a lot of compromise we have to make more of an effort to do what the other person needs given the situation. During dating and even marriage there is a lot of emphasis put on things like “love languages” and unfortunately less put on how each person individually handles stress, how to handle it as a couple to make sure both people’s needs are met and what compromises might need to be made for that, etc.

I do think it might be a good idea to revisit the topic after the situation with your husband’s work has calmed down and emotions are less high to discuss what both of you needed from the other person during this period and what you can do differently in the future so that both of your needs are met. For example, if he has a stressful week working long hours and feels like he needs to be alone to make it through that, you compromise by planning something together at the end of the week (just an example, obviously that might not work for you).

It does not fulfill your Sunday obligation unless there is literally no other possibility for you to participate in mass or Eastern Catholic divine liturgy. And like others have said, no you cannot receive communion. From the Catholic POV you theoretically could if you were actively dying or some other extenuating circumstance and unable to receive at a Catholic liturgy, but the Orthodox stance would be that you cannot no matter what and you should respect that.

Chiming in as yet another woman in the defense industry. My experience, compared to that of friends in positions similar to mine in other industries, is that defense is a great place to be to be a working mother. Much better work / life balance, good benefits, etc. Three of my coworkers had babies last winter and took 8-12 weeks off after (not great compared to other countries but pretty good for the US). We have unlimited PTO and people are always taking time off for their kid being sick or daycare is closed, etc. All of these people are at high positions in our org and have successful careers.

I am by no means a pro, but usually find a lot more later in the summer (July - September time frame) if there is a decent amount of rain. RCP should be a good area, if you have particular mushies in mind you can check iNaturalist or a similar app for locations / dates where people have previously found them.

Given OP's recent post history, they are struggling right now and probably actually need some advice.

OP, in all my years of being Catholic, I think I can only count 2 or 3 times anything remotely political came up during a homily in mass. I would recommend just going to whatever closest parish is, since just going to mass is the more important thing than personal preferences. If you are not happy with that parish, you could try asking on a neighborhood listserv if you have one, nextdoor, local subreddit, etc. If, while searching for a parish, you find something called "Reformed Catholic Church" or "Liberal Catholic Church," do not go there. They are not Catholic, not in communion with Rome.

I think pre-cana unfortunately varies a lot between dioceses / parishes. I am currently going through this now and it entails:

1. Initial meeting(s) with priest. Also includes discerning engagement if you need that so there could be a few of these. Signing initial affadavit that you are free to marry. Then get a link to complete FOCCUS.

2. Go over FOCCUS results.

3. Discuss the sacrament of marriage.

4. Discuss spirituality / the faith.

5. Discuss sexuality.

6. Discuss parenting / home life.

All of those meetings are with the priest. Then also:

1. NFP workshop that includes follow ups to discuss charts.

2. Couples workships (engaged conference, all day). I haven't done this one yet so I don't know yet exactly what it entails but mainly seems to be priests talking and a few long married couples.

The few times I have browsed the wedding subreddit I have seen people say things like they only had to have 1 meeting for pre-cana which is unfortunate. Even for secular couples, I think couples counseling of some sort before marriage is really fruitful.

Correct, it’s /u/balrogath

This is a stolen photo, not OP: https://www.ncregister.com/news/we-will-be-priests-ordinations-continue-despite-coronavirus

I'm sorry you are not doing well.

I wish I could give some insight into PHP, I do have experience with their IP from 10+ years ago and the general vibe was pretty abysmal but that is not really relevant here.

A few things I will say: when I got discharged my "outpatient team" included the mother of one of my classmates (I was in high school at the time). I did not know this until years after I graduated because she had a different last name, but she pried quite a lot about my personal relationships at school which at the time I thought was a bit odd.

A few years later when I tried getting help again, my new psychiatrist said "Oh, around here we call Dominion <I forget the name but something crappy>, because if you didn't have a mental illness when you started there you'll have one when you leave." Again, this applied to IP.

Not to say that is the situation with PHP at all, and hopefully it is not. I am so sorry you are going through that and I hope you are able to receive the care you deserve, wherever that may be.

St Vincent de Paul societies are amazing! At my parish's organization, every dollar donated goes directly toward helping people since it is completely volunteer run. I wish I could volunteer with them but it's unfortunately too much of a time commitment with my current job, so I just try to donate as much as I can.

Yeah my fiancé has also had HSV-1 since he was a child. He can tell when he is going to get a flare and we don’t kiss and are careful to not share drinks / utensils during that time. Not a big deal at all.

https://east2west.org/sp_faq/are-the-orthodox-schismatics/

We do not regard Orthodox as heretics.

As others have said, there is not really a middle ground when it comes to a Catholic wedding.

Technically, you both could meet with a priest and inquire about the necessary dispensations to get your marriage recognized in the eyes of the Church. You would need a dispensation of cult (since your fiancé is unbaptized) and a dispensation of canonical form (for being married in a ceremony outside of the Church). However, the latter is not given lightly for reasons such as wanting to marry outdoors, it is for reasons such as keeping the peace between two sides of the family. To do that you both would need to agree with the Church's definition of the sacrament, including that it is a lifelong commitment and that you will be open to having children.

It can reduce risk of ovarian cancer, but I think anyone who would be considering it for that reason would probably be because of family history / genetics (like being a BRCA carrier) and would likely go for removing ovaries and fallopian tubes instead.

Yes, this is the correct thing for the Catholic person to do if marrying a non Catholic. If the bride was not baptized at any church they would need to get a dispensation for a disparity of cult beforehand.

I attended mostly TLM while I was in college (~2016). I was not on Catholic reddit at the time, but I think that might been a bit before the current "young adults love TLM" era, it was mostly older folks. I mainly went because I moved from a very conservative diocese to an area with more of a "guitar masses" style, so it was closer to what I was used to.

Not knowing Latin is not really a big deal. Usually the priest is a bit quiet anyway so you can pray quietly to yourself if you want instead of trying to follow word for word. There are missals that have the English and Latin side by side on the two pages so you can use that to cross reference. If you go somewhat regularly and have any exposure to another Romance language you will probably pick it up quickly.

There is a tendency online to equate TLM with reverent masses, in my experience that is not really the case. For a while we had a priest who did not seem to know Latin very well and the readings were a garbled mess as he tried to speed through the whole mass as quickly as possible and apparently just saying whatever pronunciation he fancied at the time. Mind you, this was at the diocesan Cathedral.

Being part of the Universal Church we are able to validly partake of the sacraments in a lot of different expressions of the faith. There's nothing wrong with going to TLM, different churches for NO, maybe trying an Eastern Catholic church for divine liturgy and you definitely do not need to feel like you need to commit to going there forever if you do.

The requirement is to do everything in your power to raise the children Catholic, which in practice is a bit different. See: https://canonlawmadeeasy.com/2009/01/22/do-catholic-parents-have-to-raise-their-children-as-catholics/

So, I would imagine she would be able to get a convalidation even if her husband is still unsure but aware of what the Church expects for her.

That seems really high to me. Our couple’s retreat was $125 and the NFP workshop is $100. If you are under a certain income level the fee is reduced or waived.