I actually had a different experience from other commenters where it was people my age who didn't follow the registry at all. I was completely surprised by it. Some of the older people bought clothes/books/blankets not on the registry but added in a practical gift from the registry. This didn't bother me because I feel like it's a best of both worlds situation, where they got to pick out a "fun" personalized gift but also bought something that we actually needed. However, two women my age (both moms of young kids) bought different versions of items already marked as purchased on my registry and it boggled my mind. I think it comes from the mindset of "I loved this with my babies so I got it for you!" but uhh, I already picked out the one I wanted and someone else already bought it... Those gifts got returned, sorry not sorry.

This is spot on my experience preparing for birth. I went to pelvic floor PT around 32 weeks and the therapist, who is also a doula, asked me, "What are your goals for birth?" I was like a deer in headlights - "uhhh, get an epidural...?" She gently pushed me to think about my preferences, and as a result, I have researched birth-related topics that I previously had no clue about. I know that all of my preferences might not be possible depending on what happens, but I feel so much more confident going into birth knowing the potential interventions that could occur. I also felt like a deer in headlights when my OB asked if I wanted to set up an NST (because I had no idea what it was), so I can't imagine feeling that way in the middle of labor/delivery.

re: hospital visitors - almost every one of those discussions lacks any nuance whatsoever. It's like people think there are only 2 options: #1 is 10 family members hovering over you 5 minutes after the baby is born (which isn't even allowed at my hospital) or #2 is no one seeing the baby for a month, and obviously #2 is preferable to #1 so you should just say NO visitors at all! There are so many options in between, including deciding how you feel in the moment. Everyone is entitled to their own choice, but the staunch no visitors people always seem to be the most vocal ("You are NOT going to want visitors, trust me! Even if you think you do, you won't! My birth experience was completely ruined because I was so tired and had to have someone come see me at the hospital for 30 minutes!") I think it's a classic example of people needing to justify their own choices.

Dreft smells like grandma perfume to me. I cannot stand it. I will die on the hill of not using Dreft and continuing to use free and clear detergent for everything that's washed in my house. It's honestly the thing I feel most passionately about (lol) as I prepare for baby because I find it so annoying that we're gaslit into thinking we have to buy certain brands or else we're being irresponsible or something. I've literally had someone tell me, "You have to use Dreft. Add it to your registry." It makes me want to scream.

She was also super defensive about everything from the jump. "I know he always locks the door because I check it in the AM when I leave for my workout." So every single morning you consciously check that the door was locked the night before? It's a scary situation, point blank - all of the extra details that they did everything "right" (besides this one time!) just make it seem like she's trying to prove something.

I still cannot believe her husband was that knocked out. I wish I could sleep through a stranger opening my front door, stumbling through my living room, my wife screaming and yelling at him, and pushing him out the front door.

Yeah I completely agree. IIRC he consistently cuts people in line, and it's played off as a quirky personality trait. Also, I think there's a whole story highlight of him getting pictures with celebrities, like a really abnormal amount... which makes me think he's the guy that bothers celebrities when he sees them out. Ashley clearly finds him hilarious, but I don't get it.

Obviously I'm only basing this off of what she posts about him, but something seems off about him that I can't put my finger on.

I would suggest your husband reiterates how the decision is made and it won't be discussed any further. "The potential of missing the birth of my child is too big of a risk. I won't be attending and I won't be talking about this again." IMO pushy people continue to be pushy and pressure others because they see that sometimes it works. Your in-laws need to start seeing that it won't.

As far as setting boundaries, your husband should deal directly with his family. I don't think you should be the one doing it. And as for your resentment, I'm not sure you will be able to get over it right away. Give yourself time and try not to think about them. Focus on the fact that you have a supportive husband who didn't entertain the trip for a second.

Agree with this. I think the event should only include the people who have outwardly expressed interest in throwing something for you. Maybe I'm a B, but even for my best friends, I would find it extremely tacky to be invited to and expected to give a gift for a shower, a sprinkle, and a third shower.

I'm also Team Green and people have been mostly supportive, although multiple friends who recently had kids have said, "I have no idea how you're doing that." Lol. Both my husband and I didn't want to find out and I think it has helped me stay more present during this pregnancy (typically hard for me as a planner/overthinker) and it has also made me really excited for birth so I get to find out the surprise.

Hands down the craziest question I've been asked about not finding out was, "But what diapers will you buy?!"

I did the same this weekend and also wore a mask (not a respirator though). I asked my OB about it and she said as long as there's ventilation it's ok.

Ughh. A little excitement would have been nice! I also invited mine. She sat in the corner by herself and did not socialize with my friends or family (whom she had already met). She brought her own makeup that she basically applied herself, and only let the stylist pull her hair back how she wears it normally. I was like, WTF am I paying for?! I even asked in advance if she wanted both hair and makeup and she said yes. Godspeed to us both!

I'm getting my registry together now and this is my main concern with Babylist. I bought a gift off it for someone else recently and while I was perfectly capable of grabbing my order number from Target and going back to Babylist to add it, I thought to myself - there's no way some of my older relatives will do this. I used a similar registry for my wedding and I also did not like the ability for people to "reserve" gifts. People would reserve them but then not actually buy them, but they were still marked as unavailable so others couldn't buy them. I think I'm just going to register at both Target and Amazon separately to hopefully prevent any issues.

I've had bouts of this pre-pregnancy and the change that made the most difference is to never, ever go barefoot. I used to all the time and as soon as I started wearing slippers around the house the pain went away. I still get flare-ups but it's so much better overall. Supportive shoes when you're on your feet a lot are helpful too. I used to wear a lot of slip-ons like Keds, but they have basically no arch support. Now I try to wear supportive shoes whenever possible.

I must have the same pants as you because mine do the same thing. I told my husband I wanted to burn them yesterday. I also hate the way the elastic on the side looks (reminds me of a school uniform or something) so I always have to pair them with a top that's long enough to cover it. The struggle is real.

My favorite is the BREATHABLE Newton mattress. I guess if I don't buy it I don't want my baby to breathe. (Joking, of course, but I completely understand your feelings.)

That doesn't mean a restaurant doesn't use imported cheese. It's just not worth it to me to have to ask. No judgment to anyone who eats it, but it's just easier for me to draw a hard line and avoid it.

Reading any restaurant menu is like playing whack-a-mole with all of the soft cheeses and deli meats that are added to everything

That worked! Thank you!

Thanks! I will keep that in mind. I mainly want to have access to new studies on mobile when I'm away from home/waiting somewhere and have a few minutes to complete something.

Thanks for the tip! I tried this several times back and forth, logging out and logging back in, and it did not fix anything.

I mean this with care, but you may need to stop wearing it until you get further along and feel more established in your pregnancy. It's also good to remember that there's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent miscarriage in terms of what the ring is telling you. It sounds like this may be causing you more stress than it's worth.

Not only a first name but also a MIDDLE name. Goodness, how am I going to come up with a second name that doesn't even get used all that much? (We are not interested in using family names - I know that's usually an easy solution.)

I would also be offended, but some people have this intense need to be "right" or in the know about things. I think it says more about her than about you. I would be stewing about the comment too, but hopefully, you'll start to forget about it the more you remind yourself that people are weird and annoying.