Sorry I just realized I went off a bit in your reply when only part of it was relevant.

Thank you, I fully agree. I don't actually like to focus on the negative and am happy to discuss, troubleshoot and think about how WE can do better. At some point an immigrant/expat is no longer an outsider but a member of society with the responsibility to contribute not only in tax.

Coming from a country where the outpatient/ambulant (is that an english word?) and preventative part of the healthcare system in big cities is imo better than in DK, I once almost cried because of the amazing care I got in a Danish hospital after coming out of a surgery. It is also preferable to me to be routed somewhere where they'll have the possibility to see me for a particular time instead of waiting at the ER for 6 hours because of the number of people. Although I have also heard that that happened to a Dane with a necrotizing injury in a Danish ER because of improper triage because he was not seen, only asked about it and he didn't think it was that serious.

I will agree with the rest, unfortunately (although paying for dentist is quite common).

I know this is not the point as you're just pointing out areas for improvement, but I wanted to share a positive perspective.

Thank you for this view. I'm not here and complaining because I hate it here. I moved here because I like or love many aspects of the country, city, and people and I sometimes vent (usually carefully mentioning about what else is good, if it is at all to Danes), because it's my daily life and I contribute to the society and community.

I also sometimes vocalize if my literal rights are being stepped on (specifically a gross violation of patient rights in the healthcare system, once, other experiences were normal or good), and there I have been told that it can't be that bad, or at least we have a healthcare system, coupled with the idea that the same part of the healthcare system must be horrible in my home country (which I would argue is better there. the inpatient and hospital part though? thanks and keep doing what you're doing, Denmark ♥️) However, most of the Danes I told this to were disillusioned and offered empathy.

On the other hand, I did think that my country is good at taking the criticism and used to be confused when foreigners really spoke well of my country in most cases. I can see the good now, but despite complaining being a national sport, I have also seen people react with a "why are you here then" there. In my mind it's a "yes thank you it sucks! 🙄" or a "I'm sorry you had to deal with that, I hope the rest of it is worth it"

The whole us vs them thing is probably very natural, but it is quite weird to me. Many of the foreigners probably love the country they are in more than many of its nationals, no matter which country we're talking about. (Source: lived in multiple countries, friends with mostly foreigners)

Ps: The neighbor complaining about and reporting neighbor for ridiculous reasons (see any Danish legal advice blog, like) is truly weird, tho. (was probably just a Karen tbh)

Thanks! That's so great compared to PD3 😅

When you say governmental support, would you happen to know if SU, a-kasse, or taking subsidized language classes counts? This would be very helpful as I write and read and understand, but my speaking is not PD3 ready and it's like pulling teeth to try to force it through on a clock.

Hi! I really appreciate you commenting anyway – I didn't really get to looking into all the other advice yet either because of some mad weeks at work.

Thanks for the recommendations, I will check out Jean Di Bon! The info with the stirrups is also particularly valuable, as I am just looking into buying my own stirrups and leathers to swap to for other reasons!

I have seen a fysio about it and he recommended mobility training, which I have started doing and have already seen some difference with the hips, I can really recommend that after wondering if I can ride the big lesson horse at all due to the hip problems. The exercises are a bit complex, but they are raising your "back" foot while sitting in a 90, 90 knee and hip bend on the ground, with your entire leg on the ground, and not pulling it with glute or raising hips off the ground. This is quite difficult for me, at this point, but getting easier. The physio recommends the exercises from Kinstretch With Beard, beardthebestyoucanbe (.com)

I have also again added squats, including weird circle squats from my martial arts days , where the stance is narrow (ish) and you make a half circle (same direction or opposite with each knee) going all the way down to Asian squat.

For the back I can really recommend the Y T W exercises (laying face down arm raises), another physio has told me that if you do 100 of those (I'm mix and matching atm) every day, you will not have lifestyle back pain - I'm a little sceptical about that claim, but they have been wonderful, so still a good rec.

Gotta get me an exercise ball^{^}

Thanks again for your advice!

this has no business being that funny

Definitely, I wear a back protector always. It probably already saved my back during my second and last ever fall so far, I had lower back bruising that was somehow visible on an x-ray😅

I used to ride as a kid and teenager, but it was expensive and pretty far to drive out to, so not regularly. I fell after a bad spook and despite it being a mild one injury-wise, my parents suspected that I blew off the severity and were worried I would seriously hurt myself next time. I pushed my way back to the barn, but then it closed, I moved through another few as they closed, went private, or similar. It was just really difficult to find a close enough place with available time slots, and my parents were putting up a fight each time. I rode less. Eventually I went to university and got depressed, anxious, and my other health problems worsened.

A decade (+) later my mental health problems are largely resolved and my physical health is not great but it's a lot more manageable, I have enough finances and space to ride 1-2x a week (and trying to put the rest of my week in place so I can increase it to 3), I've been doing that for 6 months now and I'll probably never look back. The long term plan is to either move close to a barn and lease or to eventually get a property big enough to keep two at home.

My boss who used to work as a radiologist keeps saying that riding horses is as dangerous as riding motorcycles. I can't quite bring myself to care. Of course safety is important, but the happiness they bring is wild🐎

Thanks!

Can you elaborate on this please? Did they only show up on long exposure photos, or?

I think it's part of the streets often being so wide. I can echo the silent city sentiment from my experience in Helsinki. People there are seen but not heard.

Personally I don't need to be able to buy everything under the sun (and most of the time shop seasonally) so the selection doesn't really bother me. I have however learned to almost never buy berries, cherries, peas, and grapes, because half of them will be rotting or mouldy, and be suspicious of avocados, because they go from hard to still hard but now also spoiled. That would not be the biggest problem because spoilage is just how food works and I prefer it being in a not pristine state over it being chemically treated.

But, and this is the important part, many fruits, including most widely available pear varieties, berries, apricots, peaches, nectarines, watermelon, and tomatoes will smell amazing but taste like nothing at all, or at least compared to ones that I grew up with in my home country two countries over, with only slightly warmer climate. At the same time I know it's possible to grow many of these fruits with good results in Denmark because I've been doing that in my back yard in the last couple of years. I also stopped looking for cauliflower or basic lettuce (not iceberg) because they are small, not great quality, and don't taste amazing.

Edit: I do want to talk about the super nice and cheap asparagus, leeks, spidskål, and the curly kål that you can get in Denmark, I eat asparagus several times a week now when it's in season, the leeks are delicious and fragrant (unfortunately my partner is allergic) and the curly kål I have never tried before. Roasted spidskål is also amazing.

I fully agree with the reservations about plastic wrapping, but the problem with comparing imported produce in DK and in Australia is the sheer size difference. You'd probably have to think about things imported from EU as local to make a fair comparison. https://www.getalookatthis.com/australia-europe-size-comparison/

I bet it does! I also rock climb/boulder and do yoga and resistance training in between, and now some targeted joint training. Let's see, maybe I just need to be more patient ^{^}

Thanks for this, this is a fantastic amount of insight. I will try to check for the strength and flexibility/stiffness when I'm home, and get back on the specifics. I know I'm flexible enough to do the Asian squat and to squat while standing on the outer and inner sides of my feet. I will also check out the sources, thanks again!

Normally I don't have a lot of movement in the leg, but due to the issue (instability and some pain) in the left knee, I was not able to post/ride as easily and my left leg was moving a lot more than normal, and than the right leg - I could not entirely stabilize it.

The internal feeling was that the knee was "floating", like I didn't quite know "where" the knee was, which I assume is a hypermobility thing.

I am talking to a physiotherapist about it, but he is not specialized in riding and as said I haven't had a lot of success so far.

Fair enough. Personally I benefit from the fact that he's out there, though, because it what caught my curiosity and made me likely to start in this hobby one day when I move into a place where I can do that. I do see that it's problematic, I mostly disagreed on the design thing.

Yeah, that's a good point. I might just be chronically cherry picking what seems right (like the substrate in the case of ff) and cross-checking with other sources instead of taking people as an authority on a certain topic. I've been burned by following a supposed expert blindly before (plus a scientific education helps question things, too).

I also watched others (like fishtory) until I started obsessing as I'm not allowed to have an aquarium in my current lease.

I'm thinking that you bring design into your tanks, while he's going for a part of nature, where everything can be as close to natural as possible. Not wrong, just different.

The climate change gets me, but his thing is fish tanks, not climatology, I can listen to another yt channel for that.

What do you clean with? Will they die from any household cleaning products?

Nvm the OP states in the comments that this has been an issue for a long time and the bf is dismissive when OP brings it up. That's a good-bye for me.

Original comment:

Some (unpopular) opinions: - Forbidding contact will not work, but it will likely make him more secretive and resentful. - He has a right to privacy and to not share his messages. - (!) You have a right to feel safe and secure in your relationship. Do not wait and hope that he changes.

Talk with him about it, ask what she means to him, and try to listen and understand. Tell him how it makes you feel, and see if he has the same understanding for you. If after that you feel that she threatens your relationship, tell him in an explanatory, matter of fact way. Think about what would make you feel more secure and reestablish and strengthen trust. Talk about that with him, ask him to focus on building your relationship together, more than you have until now. Be open and vulnerable and ask him to invest in your well-being and the relationship you have.

Based on his approach to these topics and this conversation you will know if you can believe that he means what he says, and know if you still can trust him or need to move on.

Edit: this is a considerable amount of emotional labor that you do not owe anyone but yourself, if you're unsure. It would be entirely fair if you'd rather move on.

Yes, particularly in the beginning. I bring a sweet snack or a piece of fruit to get my sugar back up and call it an early night after I get home. It also seems to be getting better with practice.

Thanks a million for this thought. I have noticed before that some saddles fit me better than other ones, but it didn't even occur to me in this case.