Partners fearing you is a big deal. I struggle in relationships but my most common feedback relates to clinginess, so even though I’m only in the talking stage I’m working very hard to not be clingy because it’s important to me that my man feel like I’m a source of love and support and safety, and not something overwhelming. Some things I’m trying now include: not word vomiting about very personal things too early, not triple texting, and not asking too many questions about where they’re going or why. They’re small things that don’t require a huge overhaul of my personality.

So, yeah, I do like to idly daydream about a man who actually LIKES my clinginess and is clingy too, but in practice I think it’s important to meet people where they are. It might be helpful to figure out what exactly scared previous partners and find ways to address that in small, “easy” steps like the ones I mentioned.

My entries are pretty much whatever I’m thinking in the moment with a lot of “I don’t know what I’m feeling but the emotion feels like X.” There actually are a lot of factual descriptions but it never struck me as odd until now lol.

I have the strategies, it’s mostly just lack of time and space. I’m actually pretty good at organization with the right tools.

I’d be organized AF if I had the money to go ham with storage. I know exactly what I’d fix. I’m just in over my head.

Started off very anxiety-inducing, ended up happy lol. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Omgggggg I love this!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing :)

Well, the GOOD news that I don’t think it’s your skin color. This happens to me and I’m as white as a pristine toilet. The BAD news is that I honestly think we give off some kind of odd and unsettling vibe. Something that can’t be hidden for very long, if at all.

I say this a lot to other people and I’m hoping that someday I’ll believe it: you only need ONE person who enjoys all of that about you, and I’m sure he exists. And maybe it’s better that those men just self-terminated from your life. Maybe it’ll make it easier for the right man to make himself known to you.

I try to. I do what I can within my budget.

LITERALLY. Lashes, nails, toes, and spray tan all done and my plan the whole time was to sit at home by myself lol.

I mean this sounds overly simplistic but I think you can def forget the other women. I haven’t had many relationships, but when I get into one it’s like every other guy and the stuff he said never existed. Like, not in the beginning when you aren’t sure what the other person is to you, but as it progresses? Yeah. It’s soooooooooo cliche but I feel like the love of a good partner just sort of erases all the BS that rattles around in your brain. I’ve never experienced this first hand but I have complete confidence that it’s real.

If you’re asking if you can forget women altogether, no I don’t think it works like that. I think humans need companionship and it would be cruel to cut yourself off from it. It’s very hard to do but idk. I have a tendency to just remain optimistic boarding on delusional to deal with it. And I know for a fact that you can meet someone who is patient with you, because I’ve done that. I mean we’re all flawed and we all need patience.

Can you pee right after? I read somewhere that’s supposed to help. Or maybe that was helping with something else. I can’t remember. I feel like a huge pervert for being jealous lol. I want a husband who gives me that problem 😂

Hear that in re: student loans from a law degree. It hurts lol.

Does she actually want you to socialize or does she want you to just be there WITH her while you guys are socializing together?

I’m in legal research and very, very far from a millionaire/billionaire. But I love what I do.

Oh no worries, I just figured I upset you lol. But yeah. That’s how I deal with it. I find out if they like me back like that and if they don’t I just totally remove them from my lives. Sometimes years down the line maybe they’ll reemerge as friends and it’s fine because the romance is totally dead by then. Sometimes they just stay gone and never hear from them again at all.

Oh yeah, THAT I’ve experienced. I’m getting better at identifying it, or listening to my friends when they identify it, and then cutting it off at the knees. I really don’t struggle to burn bridges once I find out the bridge needs burning. It’s the finding out that’s the problem.

I mean, that’s been my experience. Sorry I didn’t make that clear. No real need to downvote but okayyyyyyyy.

The way you get to know if you like someone, or love them, is by talking to them more. It sounds too simple to be true, but it IS true. Try to set up a date with him or FaceTime him. And pay attention to their enthusiasm. Enthusiasm will look like someone who replies quickly, or if they don’t reply quickly they’ll explain why they didn’t, and they’ll be excited and happy to talk to you.

Some people won’t be enthusiastic about you but they’ll still talk to you or entertain your interest because they just like the attention. It can be very hard to identify people like that, but in general they won’t respond enthusiastically the way I described above.

Talk to them and figure out if they like you too? If they don’t, that oughta kill that right out. It’s what works for me.

What’s an unhealthy crush? Like one you have on a person you don’t even talk to?

I’ve occasionally felt homesick while in the SAME L CITY as my actual family and the home I was born in lol. I think homesickness is a longing for a true sense of safety, security, and belonging. I think if you had that on the level that you have it at home, you probably wouldn’t feel homesick, but you don’t.

Anyway, two years will fly by. Try to hold on until the end of those two years, and in the interim focus on setting up your life in a way that you’ll be able to establish your career in your home state. I’m assuming the CPA licensure exams are different from state-to-state, so try to focus on practical matters like that. It’ll help you feel more connected to your plan to leave your current city.

I had a crush on boys in middle and high school but that didn’t translate to a real-life relationship. They were totally unrequited. I didn’t have my first kiss until 20, and I’m 35 and still unmarried and childless despite wanting both a husband and a baby desperately. My relationship and sexual experience are both pretty far behind the curve of an average woman my age, but everyone says that it happens for everyone at different times.

I sometimes doubt if I’ll find a husband and have a baby too, but only because I don’t know anybody like me. I don’t see anyone out here in the real word like me and also getting all of the things I desperately want. But I DO see them in here. There are many woman who are my age (and older and younger) who are happily married to neurotypical husbands, and some have children. And they’re all quite happy.

Just because you don’t have crushes now does NOT mean you won’t have the family that you want when you’re older.

I’m a 35 year old straight biological woman and never felt like or identified as anything other than that, BUT I’m 5’10” with broad shoulders and an athletic frame that doesn’t always make me feel feminine. It’s weighed on me my whole life, at least since I became aware of boys and also became aware of the fact that I was physically larger than a lot of them for a while (girls go through puberty earlier). Unfortunately, the thing that would make me feel better is the thing that you don’t like: touching. I haven’t had much of it because my dating history is very scant, but it would be very nice to feel “shown off” and like my man is obsessed with my body for how womanly it is (even if I don’t always see it).

Maybe complimenting her curves, or describing the womanly things that you like about her (traditionally feminine things like aforementioned curves or whatever she puts effort into: nails, lashes, hair, tan, clothes, whatever).