Yo dawg, I heard you like cats

I haven't seen it, but can totally relate. At my worst I would have responded to the news of a planet coming to obliterate us all with relief. "Well that's a load off"

Tomorrow never comes, it's always today. Don't worry about it

Our attempt to kill the Titanic by smashing her into an iceberg failed. Damaged, wounded, submerged, she slept at the bottom of the ocean. As a failsafe we loaded her up with some of the wealthiest members of high society. She hungers for sacrifices, and wealthy & powerful individuals satiate her more effectively. Injured, but well-fed, she slumbered. Now, she awakens, and to stop her rising to consume the world we must send her a handful of billionaires every year. In this way, we buy the world some more time.

Alternatively, if you feel strongly about a Stan

Remove her by firing a cannon at her. Just gotta yell "official act, baby", and you're good to go

My child ain't been conceived yet and moves out next week. Wild

That is clearly a wizard who is in two places at once, who is currently telling the barman he wants two of the drink he ordered while simultaneously checking out the ass of the crying girl on the bus.

Zoom in, you know this to be true