"You need a pimp, because all you're good for is opening your legs". She said this me when I was 21.

My Dad heard and saw her say this to me and did absolutely nothing, he just looked down and walked away. At the time, I was quite ill and in my first serious relationship.

I'm now in my mid 30s, and no contact with my parents.

Big 4. 2 days in office and 3 days WFH per week.

This is what my mother said to me:

"You need a pimp, since all you're good for is opening your legs".

I was a 21 year old virgin at the time.

I think she said it because I lost 30kgs in 8 weeks due to an ongoing illness. I was so skinny, I fit into Australian size 6 clothes. I was sick and in constant pain, but I looked healthy on the outside. Maybe she was jealous of how skinny I was. Maybe she was jealous at the attention I was getting. But none of it was my choice.

And hearing her say those words, with a smirk on her face, it really hurt. She never apologised to me for saying it either.

It's now one of my core memories. To her, it was a Tuesday. A day not worth remembering.

I was engaged to my best friend and moved out of my Parents place as soon as I knew I was pregnant with his child. He and I eventually found a semi-cheap rental property and moved in together when I was 7 months pregnant.
I had to rely on government handouts for a while. I attended University full time and managed to snag some scholarships. And I managed to get a few paid Internships during my University study breaks.

I have since graduated University and have been unemployed for over a year, so I had to deep dive into my savings. I was near broke. I applied everywhere, and had multiple interviews....all of which led me nowhere.
I signed up to a well-known, local job provider in my area 2 weeks ago and got a full time job almost straight away. And it's in a field I'm truly passionate about.

Sighing. When my nMum sighed, I knew all hell was gonna break loose. It was such a triggering sound to me.

Yes!!
I've been missing them so much lately. I've been rewatching old episodes with them in it.
I wish they would come back. Especially for Toadies sake, he needs family around him more than ever (I know he has his brother and his family staying in his home for support, but any excuse to bring back the Timmins' is good enough for me lol).

Yeah, no......I'll take 35ºc over this cold weather any day.
I even miss the warm nights!

I say 'go for it'! Your ex bestfriend ended her friendship with you, she made her bed and now she can lie in it.

​

I went through a similar situation a few years back.

A girl in my social group dumped her boyfriend (multiple times) and she wanted him back....again. He stayed away from her, for good reason. She was an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive Borderline.

When she found out her ex-boyfriend liked me, she lost her shit. She started telling people that her and I were ex bestfriends. We were never best friends. Her version of the story just fuelled her victim mentality.

She ended up turning most of my friends against me. My best friend sided with her, but I know my truth. She is not a good person, and I still stand by that.

Her ex-boyfriend deserved someone better, someone who loved him unconditionally, and that person was me. And even eight years later, we're still together. We have started a family, and we're as happy as can be!

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If you and her ex-boyfriend like each other, it's definitely worth a shot! Don't miss this opportunity to be with him in order to stay loyal to your ex bestfriend. Do what makes you happy!

Now I feel like a dummy! 😂😂 (Things often go over my head! Lol!)

Thank you <3 Xx Oh yeah, me too! I don't know where I'd be otherwise. I hope you hold on tight to your right person, there's nothing more special than having someone love and support you through thick and thin!

Yeah, I probably should've detailed why I'm NC with my nMum and whatnot, but that's what the post history (and u/botinlaw) is for. Long story short, my Mum is a covert narc who ridiculed me privately and was the 'caring Mother' publicly. She said some pretty shitty stuff to me, privately. I reached my limit with her and went NC, and she has love bombed and extinction bursted the absolute crap out of me. I have my Daughter to worry about now, Mum is in no way a part of that.

I'm blessed to have my Fiancé and his family. Perfectly functioning people right there.....especially in comparison to my own family.

You're welcome! Aww cute, almost 3! It's honestly better not to bother. If they want to be a part of your Sons life, they need to put in the effort. My Daughter is 3 now, but her, her Father and I are NC with my Parents due to their entitlist behaviour around my Daughter. Mum acts like a Parent, not a Grandparent....she had her turn, now its mine!

Ahaha! Good on you~! Xx

And they either want money to be given to them on a silver platter WITHOUT putting in any hard work; or they work in a Managerial position just so they can get money AND boss people around.

Selling anything of mine was always met with her BS. She was so money hungry that she relied on Dad, my Nanna (Dad's Mother) and I for money, all the while she sits home and does nothing. She can work, but chooses not to.

Ahh, you deal with that entitled BS too? I'm sorry. I know! Like, literally no one uses Nintendo Wii (I have one but don't use it)!

It reminded me of a time when I was living at home with my Parents.

My nMum was asking if I was going to sell my old bed, as I was getting a new one. I said 'yes'. For some reason, she was super giddy and excited. Once I sold it, I put the cash in my wallet and I was heading out. Mum, sitting on her part of the couch, turned to look at me. She demanded the money.

Me: sorry, what?'

Mum: Money, I want the money

Me: It was MY bed. Therefor it's MY money

Her entire being went cold and she growled out "Shove that money up your ass". I legit rolled my eyes and left.

Yes! It is so frustrating!

Heh, upside to my Mum showing her 'narc' was that my future MIL saw it and supported me 😂😂 As did my future FIL and BIL 😂

I believe it's a JN thing too, because there's no way my JYMIL would say any of that to any of her Sons.

Yeah, but that's because your Parents are normal. JNs tend to take everything out of context and say/do whatever they want, regardless of people's feelings.

Heh, yes! Furbabies~!! Xx 😂😂

I'm very sorry.

Yes, being pregnant is exhausting. But just because you complain about being pregnant, it DOESN'T mean you hate your unborn child! In 9 months, your body changes so drastically, it's hard to ever get used to it.

I hope your next pregnancy runs much smoother for you! Xx

And that you don't have to deal with your Mother.....because that shit is stressful!

I know, it's down right bizarre!
Probs just wanted a new narc supply, and what better way to get that than to raise another child.....

You're not heartless if you want to protect yourself. Narcissists don't like normal boundaries, they see it as a personal attack. But I definitely doubt you're a heartless person! I know, it's scary how easily they're able to manipulate us and our emotions.

I am permanently NC, yes. But only on my end. For months, my Mum tried to guilt, bully and threaten me. But within the last 2 months, I think she FINALLY gets it.....that her tactics aren't working. It's been difficult, but that's because the drama still followed me after NC. My Mum tried her damn hardest to get her hands on my Daughter, even threatened me with lawyers and threatening to talk to my future in-laws, but nothing came out of that. My Parents moved away without telling me, so I had to find out if they were in the same state as me still. They are. That my Dad has borrowed tens of thousands of dollars from his Mother, my Nanna, and she needs it back due to her dementia diagnosis and needing around the clock care. He wont give anything back. He has verbally abused his Sisters and threatened suicide, just to get MORE money. My Dad's side has disowned him (but not me). And now my Mother is doing a smear campaign against my Fiancé (of whom she hates), spreading lies to her Family so she looks like the victim. Saying that he doesn't talk to his Mum, even though we see her every week lol. NC is a never ending battle. But it's worth it!

Yup.

My Mum has said she will never forgive me for going NC with her.

I went NC with her but I left the paths of communication open, just in case she saw the error of her ways (and to gather further evidence of her narc abuse). Nope, she uses that to tell me I must must be ashamed of myself.

You seem worried/concerned about being heartless. Pretty sure a heartless person wouldn't care. So that in itself just proves that you're not heartless <3 Xx

Happy birthday! 🎉🎉 And congrats on the NC~!! *hugs* Xx

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I honestly believe we have the same Mother! Haha. I went NC with my Mum last September after she verbally abused me on facebook messenger. Months later, just before Christmas, she acted like nothing happened. I ignored her. She came by my house unannounced one day, and terrified the hell out of me. She knocked on the front door, windows and walls. There was a lot of yelling.

Then on January 1st this year, she posted a "Happy New Year 2019!!" on my facebook wall. She put on a show, making people think I'm the asshole by not responding or liking it.

She then posted this on her facebook wall (marked private so only my future MIL and I could see it).

"No Merry Christmas, no Happy New Year, no photos of the gorgeous princess, no phone calls, no text msgs, no in box msg....NO NOTHING FOR OVER A YEAR!! Steve and I about the lose it with the both you. We desperately have tried with phone calls and everything else to reach out to you. Our patience has gone through the roof. Start acting like adults and communicate with us. Grow up!!!"

My nMum had that look on her face when she made me cry.

I remember a time when I was 7 months pregnant, and her and I got into an argument about when fetuses first form in the womb, they're all female.

She didn't believe me. So she yelled and berated me until I cried. And I remember that sadistic smirk she had when she achieved her sick goal of making her heavily pregnant Daughter cry.

Yet, she wonder why she's NC....

😅😂😂 Lol oops! But hey, at least the kids are alive and well!

Omg, that's awful! Maybe she was projecting? Because she knew she was a shit Mum. I'm sorry you have a Mother like that.