SO hot! I am attracted to all sorts, but above all I am attracted to fat confident women.

Short & curly!

Do you have any specific book recommendations?

Antidepressants don’t work for more then half of people.

I am also bi and have at least one gay sibling. It actually seems to be more common among siblings for some reason. It’s hard I know, but you should talk to your brother.

Yesss

I also get immediately rankled by being lectured at/that kind of power dynamic.

Not sure if this relates to your situation at all, because I don’t really get the context. My own example would be starting a new job, and having someone explain the basics of something that I’ve already been doing for 5+ years. It can be very frustrating initially.

I’ve also heard people dispute the “born this way” argument. Even if being gay was a choice, that doesn’t give anyone the right to discriminate or police other people’s lives. Also if people want to choose to be gay I’m here for it.

I’m bi, I mostly ID as bi even though I only date women. Sometimes because of that, people may assume I’m a lesbian. I don’t bother correcting them for the most part especially if they are not in my inner circle. Sexuality can be fluid, especially for us. I find women more attractive, but I tend to have a harder time connecting with them romantically. It’s a spectrum!

Don’t force anything, date who you want to.

I have a fair amount of older but visible SH scars, and I personally would be wary. Obviously I don’t have negative judgements, but even though I’ve been clean from it a few years I don’t necessarily want to date someone who might trigger me. If they were in a good headspace however it might be different.

I will say, in my experience I haven’t had a lot of issues dating. People generally don’t ask me about them, I do try to volunteer a brief explanation early on.

I would do a pendant necklace, & probably wear boots Where did you get those pants? Super cute

I’ve been meaning to go, thanks for the intel!

I would be mindful in the future since it’s an important distinction.

I have similar struggles, though I am new to poly I have found that it’s helped me a lot to accelerate personal growth in this area. Without as much of a relationship script, I’m finding it easier to parse out my own needs, as separate from others. I know I need to do this in order to be a good partner to others and myself. I have hope that we both will continue to get better at this skill!

Can I ask how you go about asking for commitments from your partners? Do you ask for time commitments, a label? I’m struggling a little bit right now as a single poly person dating, who desires some level of commitment.

Animals, don’t have gender, they only have sex only because they cannot express gender in any meaningful way that we can perceive.

Yeah that’s it for me. I always have to make the first move, and it took years for me to develop that confidence. Although now I have learned to enjoy it.

I never had to try so hard to get men interested, for better or worse. Men are more direct, I miss subtle signals from women 9/10 times. I’m femme if that matters.

You look fantastic & I love your piercings!!

I also like living alone honestly, but it feels like I need daily proximity to someone in order to get close to them and be myself more/unmask.

I enjoy my other poly FWB connections, so I’m not eager to end that. I would just like to be able to develop additional connections with a higher level of interdependency. I want to have a partner who considers me in their day to day choices, and I would do the same. It is fair to say that I may be investing too much time in my FWB that might be keeping me from putting time into finding other connections.

I started dating/ENM about 1.5yrs ago after a breakup and I’ve been on dates with I think like 9 different people in that time frame. Most of those people I only dated for a month or two. I’ve been dating polyamorous people for the last 5 months, and this person who broke it off was my longest relationship in the last 1.5yrs.

I do plan on taking at least a month off from dating anyone new. I am going to try putting more time into some hobbies outside of my career which tends to take up more time than average.

I think in the future asking for some sort of regular time commitment as someone else suggested will help me to find the kind of connection I am looking for. Thanks.

Where did you get that shirt? I love it

The little earbuds hurt my ears

I do want to build a better support network and maybe try to make some poly friends. I have friends, but no close family or anything of that nature. I do have a close queer platonic friendship but I can only ask so much of them. Because of my ND I have a hard time making close connections. I find I end up with a lot of acquaintances who seem to like me a lot, but emotional intimacy is more of a challenge.

I would love a nesting partner in the future, and I’m open to pretty much any kind of connection. However I’m realizing that for my own emotional wellbeing I don’t want to continue to exclusively date heavily partnered people. It just seems like they are less likely to have room for me in their lives. With my FWB, I have met her partner and we hung out and got on great. So I know it’s possible to date someone with a nesting partner for me without issue. I’m just not sure if someone partnered is going to be someone I can look towards for emotional intimacy.

I don’t have any other partners, aside from the person who I just broke it off with that I have that kind of connection with where we provide emotional support to one another. I definitely would love to have that in the future but online queer dating is hard.

It’s lonely right now, fortunately I do have a close queer platonic friendship. Otherwise no poly circle or anyone who can advise me about those dynamics specifically. At least I have lots of hobbies and that keep me super busy.

To be clear, I don’t mind dating people with nesting partners. That’s literally everyone I’m dating. I’m just put off by this specific person who claimed on our first date they are kitchen table polyamorist, then forced me to break up with myself due to their lack of communication. In this specific situation, the power dynamic was felt acutely.

The other people I am dating have partners and it doesn’t feel exclusive, they were also a lot more clear about what they can offer me emotionally in retrospect then this person.