YTA. A bride selects the color scheme of her bridesmaids and wedding decor, as well as the dress code, from beach to formal. Unless your wedding is a LARP, you do not dictate the colors guests or parents of the couple wear.
Mothers can have an anxious time finding something flattering to wear to a wedding. You’ve clearly amped up that frustration and stress. She’s not getting red shirted at your Star Trek themed wedding, so let her wear whatever she wants. You are treating your wedding like a stage play. The entire point is to get married, not have an Oscar worthy production.
NTA. Unless you want an STD, divorce an unfaithful man.
NTA. Accept that this is how she is. Do not ever put yourself in a position where you rely on her.
She is also the sort of person who will never admit she did anything wrong, let alone apologize. She is the heroin in her own story.
You need to find a couple of vetted babysitters with references, whom you trust to drive your kids if needed. You also need to just go to her karate class, periodically, so your two year old gets to learn how to behave, even if you have to take him outside and walk the parking lot at the dojo. Attending her class will also show support for your daughter, and give her memories she will cherish.
NTA. The baby is your ex-husband’s responsibility.
Why would you feel guilty that you don’t want to be taken advantage of based on a lie? The divorce is the first step of standing up for yourself. Now tell his mistress to fuck right off, and block her.
There was no sweeping immunity granted to POTUS. SCOTUS just reaffirmed that the president has always had immunity for official acts, but not unofficial ones.
Obama had immunity when he took out Al-Alwaki by drone, because it was an official act, which is why he wasn’t tried for murder. Nixon approving his underlings to bug the Democrat headquarters at Watergate (tame by today’s standards of secret recordings and moles), was not an official act, so he could have been prosecuted.
Joe Biden colluding with the DOJ to target his political opponent is also not an official act, and not protected under immunity.
If official acts did not have immunity, then each and every president would be charged with myriad crimes when he or she left office, because many such acts are illegal for a private person. No American can legally green light a drone hit on anyone, even a bad person. No private citizen can use war powers.
Former Presidents can be charged for unofficial acts (like sending Hunter Biden around the world collecting bags of cash for foreign entities in exchange for Joe Biden’s political favors, if that behavior continued after Joe Biden became president.) current presidents can be impeached for “high crimes and misdemeanors”.
SCOTUS didn’t change anything at all. This is literally what the definition of presidential immunity has been. They just kicked it back to the lower court to determine which charges belonged to official or unofficial acts. The judge is hostile to Trump, so it has been predicted that she will determine all involve unofficial acts.
You’re kidding! Every country isn’t like the US?! Wow. That’s news. I actually thought Dubai, Cambodia, North Korea, and the Republic of Ireland are not only absolutely identical to each other in jurisprudence and culture, but identical to the US! Thank you for pointing that out to little old me. Obviously, we are supposed to make 195 dueling responses, one for each country, as well as for all the many indigenous tribes, when the country isn’t noted in the story.
Since there ARE countries where women can be physically forced to relinquish assets, then some of those 195 reactions we are to painstakingly write must include that OP should just hand it over.
YTA.
If whoever owns or rents the house you’re staying at tells you to leave, then leave. You are not entitled to stay against his wishes.
The fact that you have refused to leave indicates there may be deeper issues with your behavior.
Obviously you did not defuse the situation by cussing in your comment to your nephew, and it’s generally best not to insert yourself in parenting.
You sound entitled and don’t particularly care how your behavior affects others.
Push your brother hard enough, and he can call the cops to throw you out.
Maybe that’s what you need.
How can this be real? Without will, even a spouse spends time in Probate Court Hell, assets frozen.
A lawyer who aided and abetted an attempt to physically force you to sign away your assets would get arrested and disbarred.
If this actually happened, you file a restraining order, and make a complaint against the attorney with the bar. Get a written statement from the neighbor.
NTA. You should have immediately said no, you want to spend your romantic honeymoon alone with your husband. If he even wants to hang out with relatives whom he can see at any other time, then it’s a problem.
The fact that when you told him this bothered you, he got angry and left you alone, is also a red flag.
When you really love someone in a healthy way, your feelings matter to each other, and it’s safe to say something disappointed or bothered you.
What you need to learn is to speak up and say no, instead of going along with something you don’t want to, resenting it, and then quarreling about it later. Quarrel about it FIRST! Prevent the thing from happening. Laugh at the uncle when he proposes joining you on your honeymoon, and say absolutely not. I’ll have my man all to myself, and you’ll have to wait until after the honeymoon to see us. If uncle showed up and demanded to change your itinerary, you say absolutely not. This is your once in a lifetime honeymoon, and you have other things your heart is set on. Both these men disrespected you.
NTA. Your husband and family had a grand old time setting you up to be in a situation that could give you SEIZURES, laughing the entire time while you were frightened, trying to avoid it. You were also at risk of seeing people setting off fireworks on the way home.
Seizures affect your brain. Play a video for him of someone having a seizure, explain what it’s like to drop like that, hit your head, and the aftermath.
Ask him, and his family, how they would feel if they were put in a situation like that.
None of these people give a hoot for you.
After you say this, leave and go stay somewhere else for a week, so he’ll be out of your hair while you sort your feelings out. The consequences need to be bigger than wagging your finger at him. He doesn’t care in the least that he upset you. He needs to understand he and his family are reprehensible. He also needs to figure out if he’s miss you if you were gone.
You know you cannot trust this man. Would you want him making medical decisions for you if you were unconscious in a hospital?
If he loved you and was fiercely protective, he wouldn’t have taken you there. If he did, and the fireworks went off early, he’d be in the bathroom with you, or he’d have thrown a blanket over you and taken you home, telling you he’s got you and you’re safe.
I’m trying to imagine a scenario where one of my guy friends bought me sexy red lingerie, and I’d tell my husband it’s just an inside joke.
If Claire is out of his league, what does that make OP?
NTA. If Claire is extremely beautiful and out of his league, what does that make you? You should ask him.
Your bf has admitted he finds Claire extremely beautiful and out of his league. He longs for her. But he’s dating you, whom he apparently finds in his league. Honestly, what does that make you? If Claire wanted to date him, would he jump at the chance?
He bought her red, sexy lingerie, and won’t explain this “inside joke.” It’s pretty simple to recount the story behind an inside joke, like the moldy office sandwich, so that you’re part of it, too. To buy the lingerie, he’d have to know her bra and underwear size. I’d bet money he’s gone through her drawer. He already knows where it is, because he’d planned to sneak into her bedroom and leave this personally selected, intimate gift. A gift you just wouldn’t understand.
To put the cherry on this cake, Claire condescendingly told you that you will understand their relationship with age. The other woman just called you immature for being upset.
You know what neither of them did? Admitted it was in poor taste, inappropriate, and you gave every right to feel upset.
This third wheel dynamic is not a healthy place to be. Just leave.
Your boundary is that you don’t date men who buy other women sexy lingerie, whom they find extremely beautiful and out of their league.
NTA. Don’t buy a house or combine finances with someone you’re not married to.
Do not confuse “almost married” either married. Untangling assets would be even more of a pain.
If you have to nag a man into marrying you, he doesn’t want to marry you. You may get a shut up ring, and there’s even a chance you can drag him down the aisle, but his heart isn’t in it, and it won’t last.
Men pursue what they want. They cross oceans for the woman they want. My grandfather met the woman he wanted, he quit, moved, got a new job, traveled for 2 hours each way to see her, a lot of it on foot, changed religious denomination, answered questions from her family to prove he was serious, trustworthy, and reliable, and proposed.
Since you two were young when you got together, the underlying theme of your relationship has been you’re too young to get serious. Yet you were taking baby steps towards practically married. Now you’re at the 7 year itch, even planning on buying a house together, and he’s balking.
Why ever would you combine finances and buy a house with a man whose actions are clearly expressing he does not want to marry you? That’s what repeatedly putting it off means.
You two will break up, and when he feels like getting married, he’ll look at the dating pool with assessing eyes, choose a girl who checks all the right boxes, and get married within two years.
I have seen this happen more than once.
Don’t marry a man you have to give an ultimatum and nag to get to the altar. Say yes to the man who pursues you, and give him that opportunity to actually pursue you. Don’t buy a house with a boyfriend, and don’t even move in unless the relationship is serious, because breaking up and moving at the same time is a drag.
Just tell him that it’s clear he doesn’t think you’re the girl for him, and leave before you feel bitter and resentful over lost years. The longer you wait, the more great men who do want to get married, actually get married. Trust me, the dating pool looks a lot different in your thirties than your twenties.
NTA. He made his choice when he ignored repeated calls and texts from his heavily pregnant wife. He missed out on being at the birth of his first child, and that opportunity is gone forever.
You made it clear that you needed him home. He deliberately ignored you.
You do not have time to play games with this man.
He’s been reacting in crisis mode to his mother’s health scare, and she’s in panic mode. Hopefully she’ll get an accurate diagnosis soon.
He will have to learn how to triage. Both his mother with serious health issues, and his wife and child, need to be priorities, so he will have to learn how to triage. He kept just ignoring your needs, when in hindsight, a bleeding hemorrhoid is lower priority than wife in labor. He needs to learn from this mistake and be a better husband and father. Blaming you is not the path to redemption.
If she names her daughter any of these, it’s child abuse. Can the hospital refuse to put a name like that on the birth certificate? Get a psych evaluation on her?
These are band names, or pet spider names. Or what you call your mare after a particularly bad ride where she gave her honest, unfiltered opinion of your riding ability the entire time.
NTA. Your new husband is draining you dry. He’s completely disinterested in either a provider role, or splitting expenses 50/50.
You’ve gone along to get along.
Finances should have been agreed on prior to getting married.
When he pesters you to buy him things, tell him you’re not his mother, and you’re spending every dime supporting him already. The division of expenses is not at all equitable, and obviously should be based on net, not gross income.
Tell him no when he acts like a spoiled toddler trying to wear you down, and mean it the first time. Don’t argue, or reason. Just no. Buy your own stuff.
Honestly, this is a serious fundamental difference. You can try marriage counseling. From what you describe, he sounds selfish.
That h is important when the word is meth! 🤦🏽♀️
I pay $8,000 a year and know people who pay $12,000. The cost of fire insurance in high fire areas, outside suburbs and cities, is insane. So yes, yes it is reality to pay $12,000, just as warned.
Not if you’re in a high fire area. We’re paying $8,000 a year, and know people paying $12,000.
Get a restraining order now, so there is a paper trail.
If he finds out, he can go to court for partial custody. If he doesn’t want a baby, he could hurt you while you’re pregnant.
You need a paper trail. Abuse is the only reason to keep a child from a parent.
I always recommend getting a temperament test for anyone getting a dog from an unknown background, but especially if it has any bully breeding.
Pitbulls were bred for pit dog fights. They were bred for dog aggression like Border Collies were bred to herd. They are not supposed to have human aggression, but backyard breeders don’t breed for temperament.
That said, I have known a few bullies that had no dog aggression, most of them Staffies. (Or at least no aggression unless they’re attacked). I have also known many perfectly lovely pitties who were great with their families, but not with other dogs or strangers, and many who are great with people, but not other dogs.
It is common for a pit bull or pitty mix to have to be an only dog.
You won’t know this dog’s temperament or handling needs until he’s either been temperament tested by a reputable trainer, or it just unfolds in your life. That’s true of any rescue.
Beautiful dog.
Dear Reddit.
My bf doesn’t work, has cheated on me for years, mocks my body, makes me feel insecure, and is a convicted felon doing time. Am I an AH for breaking up with him before he gives me an STD or gets me arrested by involving me in a life of crime.
Tough one.
So, what you’re saying is that you love a man who lies about your relationship.
He’s using the threat of his brother getting cut off to pressure you to keep living a lie.
You can have an emotional attachment to someone who is incompatible to live with or marry. It is freeing, to realize this.
“But I love him” has induced myriad women to remain in unhealthy relationships since humans have existed.
It’s what keeps battered women with abusers, people in marriages with nice but totally incompatible spouses, and it’s keeping you in a lie.
If you have broken up the moment he told you that you’d have to live a lie to be together, you would have gotten over him by now. You might remember the relationship with fondness, but you wouldn’t feel that strong tie you do now. The longer you stay with an incompatible person, the more attached you get.
His parents could find out at any time, and your husband and BIL would still get cut off. If they care more about tradition than having a relationship with their sons, then they frankly don’t love them. Priorities.
Right now, the dynamic is that what he wants must matter to you deeply, while what you want doesn’t matter at all. Even though you work, the power dynamic still follows the gender roles of his culture. His parents want grandchildren. You don’t want kids. He has already made his priorities clear on whom to please.
Good luck with counseling.
Live a lie forever, or get a divorce. It’s a binary choice.
NTA. Behavior is a language.
You’re right. He doesn’t care. He gave you an IOU for a ring fur Christmas, but had not actually saved up to get it. A month later, he said he opened a savings account (finally) for the ring, but apparently hasn’t saved much.
Nearly 8 months later, the family will be taking a trip you can’t attend, due to health limitations, just before your birthday. Past behavior indicates he’ll put no effort into your birthday, either.
And also you’ve been informed you have financial problems, but apparently don’t know the details of your finances.
He does have money to spend, just on himself going in a trip rather than buying you a present, finally.
You need to stop thinking that this thoughtful behavior before you married is the real person you can return to. It was just him on his best behavior trying to impress you. The real man is the selfish person who takes you for granted. He hasn’t been your best friend for years.
You also need to get the login information for your marital assets and get an accurate financial picture. If necessary, see a reputable financial planner, alone.
Stop looking to this man to provide all of your emotional and social needs. He’s not interested. When you have health issues, it’s easy to become isolated. You need to ensure you have a strong bond with friends. If you have let friendships drift away, reconnect, or make new friends. Discover what is available in your local community, that might interest you. Women’s clubs, other charitable or community service organizations, special interests like Mahjong, Bunko, book clubs, art, knitting, gardening. If you haven’t already, build or strengthen friendships, and connect with the community.
Make your own plans for your birthday. Have a day out with friends or your son, or two different outings the day of and day after. Don’t even worry about your husband forgetting about you for your birthday. Build your tribe, and connect with them. Your unfulfilled emotional needs are perfectly valid, yet will drive the disinterested person away.
Ensure you are doing all you can to optimize your health.
If you are able to work, start working. Get your own income coming in, even if it is a small one. Not only is it a boost of self confidence, but it makes you less reliant on an unreliable partner.
Finally, stop giving him cards or gifts. The one way aspect of your relationship needs to stop. Give him an IOU that your gift giving resumes when his does.
Tell him that an unfulfilled IOU while he spends money on vacations without you is an insult, not a gift. He forgot you at Christmas, and probably forgot you on your birthday. The days of trying your impress you are long gone.
Find fulfillment elsewhere. Get to a strong, independent place mentally and emotionally before you even start thinking about your marriage. You can only approach this from a position of confidence, not need.
AITHA for telling my husband I don’t want a present 8 months later?
AITAH