I don’t think this is something she’s unaware of! I’d phrase it more as an ability to walk etc. issue. Just say the combo of her mobility issues and your economic strain makes it hard to do things the way either has naturally done them and ask if you can work together for a solution.

Tbh if she says ‘well, I’ll foot the bill for every Uber and I won’t ask for lifts’ then that’s on her. Just say that you know she used to be up for bus rides etc and if it’s an ability she wants to regain you’re here for it!

One example would be ‘I know I got soooo not used to walking during lockdown! I had to literally work my way back up to it!’ And see if there are any gyms that only pay per session or if she could even buy/rent a walking treadmill. Specifically talk in terms not of a ‘work out’ or ‘weight loss’ but just like retraining your body to be used to prolonged periods of walking. And if the ‘training’ doesn’t work at all within 2 weeks, recommend she sees a doctor.

If this sounds insufficient and you’re thinking “but even if she goes for this, she’ll overeat and it will take ages for weight to come off her!’ Then reflect on if there’s an element of you thinking “she CANNOT be happy at that size!” FR I agree. BUT it’s not our place to determine how our friends live, we only get an actual say when it impacts us.

I truly do not get that - this is why I don’t date self described ‘neat freaks’ anymore 😂 Clutter just doesn’t bother some people (including me) so unless something is actually dirty people can have difficulty not just seeing it as causing drama. But fit super neat people, I guess it’s really annoying? I think it’s a major issue with compatibility tbh.

I mean, he could just put them on the floor in a basket, then you’d have to look at them to see? I also don’t get why OP is doing her laundry when it sounds like she’d actually rather he didn’t.

YTA. It was literally in a pile. It’s in ‘her area’ so what’s the problem?!

She never asked you to do it. And what you’re saying doesn’t add up: a person who is ‘just soooo type A I have to dictate how you organise and take over your side of the room too!’ Usually would actually learn her draw system!!

Bottom line is, she’s causing you no measurable issues by leaving a neat pile in view. You’re causing her issues by putting her clothes in illogical places! Her only mistake is caving to your odd ‘In draws in 2 days and I will fuck up your morning’ demands. That you changed it to 1 just shows you just want her to operate like you

NTA but I think your wife maybe has a point purely based on ex’s comments.

She says “buy me something good” clearly meaning from you money wise, not him. I can see 2 reasonable options:

1: make gifts a little cheaper. De-incentivise this entitlement and discourage this unkind pressure on your son.

2: tell him gifts are his responsibility BUT give him much more pocket money, paid into a joint account which only you and he access. That way he can budget and there’s an added benefit.

Option 2 would also stop your wife from having any reason to complain but actually it’s really not her business!! Unless it’s a ‘thank you for raising our child together’ unromantic gift, I get why she doesn’t want you directly treating your ex. But facilitating him being a good son, and especially a generous sibling is NOT up to her to police.

Whatever you choose, prioritise your son, and then nitpicking being taken advantage of. Because this is no way disrespectful of your wife. If she’s actually as sweet as you say she may be saying it impacts her because she’s trying to protect you (and maybe your son) from your ex. If so, she should be happy with both these options. If not, you need to question her motives.

Don’t take him back!! You don’t want kids, you’re financially independent, you’ll find discreet sex if you want it and you have people who love you… why do you even NEED anyone else?

NTA. It’s super concerning not to feel that way. Not because it’s evil but because it can be a sign of depression or a latent trauma response. He is wrong to tell you at that time

Ok, first drop both friends. Your bff should have told you she was going this route!! She knew it was wrong and she enabled it then insisted you blow it all up. Then tell your husband. Apologise, offer to get counselling. Please block the friends first though so you can tell him that you’re aware it was awful and you’re taking steps so you deal with the root cause.

Literally all of them suck, except husband and kid. BFF should have said “I’ll look after the kid BUT I’ll tell him if you don’t or we can forget this creepy plan.” Enabling it and then blowing it all up is just the weirdest most dramatic way to react!!

When are they punishing the nephew for his dangerous violence? ESH except your kids. FFS, are you not embarrassed that a 7 year old has to defend your baby and expose herself to risk because you don’t adequately protect him?!

Stand up to your sisters!!

NTA. Tell them honestly that you’ve been shouldering expenses for them and that they are ungrateful. And stop doing it!

You’re overreacting. I understand you feel bad but that’s literally what it means (and I say this as someone who can’t afford it!) Most of us can’t afford it, don’t feel guilty but he literally is ‘translating’ it because you don’t speak ‘snooty twat with more money that sense’ as a first language!!

I’m a teacher and I am seriously worried about you shaping young minds. Also, I have 3 postgrad degrees and if you quizzed me on something like maths or medicine, I wouldn’t have a clue. But I’m not as nice as Kristin (sounds such a sweet girl!!) so I’d laugh in your face if you tried. I’d also look you in the eye and ask you who the fuck you think you are to demand people sit verbal exams to eat dinner. Who the hell do you think you are?!

A beautiful, talented young woman is happy living her life and you have to try and spoil everything because you think your bf secretly wants to fuck her.

The projection is painful: listen you little ‘pick me’? You’re writing this girl like an incel’s dream hate fuck and deliberately giving all the ‘hard working folks like you and me’ vibe. Why?! You ain’t standing for election, you’re just hoping a bunch of incel dudes will read this and be like “Yeah! I work damn hard at the concrete counting factory! My papa was in the plutonium mines till he died at 42. Neither of us got half the attention that this hussy gets for shakin’ dem titties in New York! You tell her Becky! She’ll be worn out, past it and off if the cock carousel by 27! Then she’ll wishshe married a Quasimodo looking penniless nice guy like me!!!! Now, give us the link to this bitches onlyfans!!” So you can feel validated that other people hate her to.

Let me give you this reality: you’re a bullyshitting, jealous, insecure, bitter little bully. Fix yourself and pray you can keep your relationship and friends for 10 days after that charming little stunt, rather than her source of income in 10 years time. YTA!!

Oh, and being a teacher don’t make you hot shit either. Back off Miss Trunchbull!!

Ok, if you’d had nicer circumstances and no bereavement he should be waiting…

2 FUCKING MONTHS!!

With your loss (my condolences) he’s a lucky man if you feel like it after 3.

He’s a father, parenting is love and sacrifice. He should show you some love and sacrifice his raging libido. If he has a working wrist he’s got no business causing the mother of his kids pain!!

YTA because of how you said it. I know people hate confrontation or hurting people but the alternative is often this… not nice. Try in future to calmly express resentment before it builds

No, you’re good. In fact, you’re ace. My dad always bought my products because he did the shopping, even though my folks are still married today! Nothing weird about it and thank you & well done for being so approachable and helping your daughter not feel ashamed of her body

I don’t get why people think this is a small deal: he’s screwed something up after you gave him the instructions he requested. And what he screwed up is hard to accidentally screw up!!

This seems like it has to be deliberate and your relationship sounds exhausting. I really wouldn’t make a lifelong commitment to this guy

Your edit doesn’t make any sense. Nowhere do you imply earlier that she jumped on her. I don’t believe you

NTA but you need to call his bluff at least, preferably just split

Leave him. Jesus

I had a shot and was in hospital, with a fever. My sister was also ill though nowhere near as bad. We are both autistic…

You’re not wrong, please GET THE FUCKING SHOTS!!!! I can promise you I’d 100% rather have a living autistic sister than a dead, neurotypical one. The link between vaccines and autism was debunked. But even if it were a risk, I’m kinda sick of people saying ‘ya know, I’d rather my kid be dead than like you and your family!’

The thing is, it was probably coincidental, both me (born v underweight and then left outside by an absent minded nurse in a British winter… yeah) and my sis who was premature, were in incubators. It was likely that if any kids got (survivable!!) side effects, we would! Nothing to do with autism. My mother is autistic and HER mother was an antivaxxer.

My uncle almost didn’t make it to his first birthday because his loving mother ‘wouldn’t inject my babies with germs’. He had terrible whooping cough as a baby and literally nearly died day after day. He was a baby in a cot, plastered in his own vomit, screaming until he was to weak to cry any more. That woman saw that DAILY, FOR WEEKS and you know what her argument was, years later, when her daughter married a scientist so his BIL decided it was an important subject to discuss, with a fresh perspective? My grandmother said ‘If he’d have had the vaccine there would have been even MORE whooping cough in him. He didn’t die because he’s unvaccinated!’ That’s right, she thought her medical negligence was life saving!! You cannot make these delusional people see sense. Just take him yourself.

Sadly, my uncle wasn’t spared further damage from her idiocy. He had COPD, as he was a smoker they weren’t shocked by that. But the rate that it was progressing… it was just absurdly fast, like he must have had limited lung capacity before being diagnosed with chronic bronchitis, and later emphysema (v young and v quickly).

They had to look for some other cause: He worked with asbestos? No. He lived in a high pollution area? Not really. Drove a diesel van for a living? No. Any cardiac issues, enlarged heart, long q t? Nothing. History of obesity and therefore possibly associated heart strain, undetected at that time? He was a college athlete and after giving up team sports, still went hiking and ate a healthy, vegetarian diet, so Nope. Any other health problems, not related to lungs? No.

In the end they went through his life long medical history, everything we knew of since the day he was born. Now, the story of how he survived whooping cough unvaccinated has been a source of conversation and debate in our family for years so naturally he knew the details and thought to mention it. They were horrified and (although it’s not provable) they were convinced that the severity of the infection in such a young v child, had damaged his lungs, permanently.

As a young man it was ok, it didn’t stop him from playing sports and leading a v full life but he did ALWAYS seem to be getting chest infections (talking approx one every couple of months when he was in his 30s and 40s and one every three months in his twenties and throughout childhood). But as he got older, it impacted him more and definitely changed the progression of his disease.

Please, please just vaccinate your child. Good luck, I’m glad your son has you.

YTA. Ava can put cushions against the door and CLOSE IT!! Also experiment with sleep masks and blindfolds to see if she can tolerate them.

Also, if little princess in the massive (throne?) room (cos the youngest being given the big room is soooo normal 🙄) doesn’t like seeing the light under the drawbridge, may chance you and the other serfs could help move the royal bed to a different area of the royal bedchamber?? So that the small folk might yet toil whilst she slumbers, peacefully, and the WiFi might remain unbeheaded??

(Especially if Nicole is paying rent) just put the fucking WiFi on!?

Yes… she sided with the dude that hurt her rapist. The only thing she’s supposed to judge him for is banging the abuser’s wife and then being a part of her escape plan! So if you think she’s immoral for that then you’re saying it’s immoral to be happy when things don’t work out well for your rapist and they feel a fraction of the betrayal you felt whilst someone who claimed to love you hurt you did their own sexual gratification.

If you can’t see why she is not a monster for feeling the dad and Jane emotionally harming her abuser for their own sexual gratification, I can’t help you.

I have read your replies. I think you need to understand the difference between people forgetting or misreading your words and them just profoundly disagreeing with you

Tbh where I’m from it’s the opposite. We tend to default burn our loved ones! To avoid grave desecrations, even greater expense, kids feeling a duty to visit/guilt if they physically can’t, and for environmental reasons. But I have heard a lot of folks consider it sacrilegious.

If she expressed a preference it’d be an issue but looks like she didn’t, at all. Hence the argument now. If it’s a religious issue then most of those faiths think the wife and husband ’cleave’ together. So OP (to be blunt) gets first dibs, right or wrong

Body positive people don’t tend to believe in bmi as all. I’m not one, and yeah they should be taken as indication not exact, muscle mass weighs, blah blah.

Fact is they’re a good indicator for most non-athletes, even if the muscle elements throw it off some and it’s saying ‘27 overweight’ and you look and feel really healthy, yeah it’s possible that it’s misleading. But if it tells you you’re 42 and ‘morbidly obese’… there’s no way that actually you’re a normal weight, adjusting for muscle and build!

And no, you’re wrong, someone who was skinny and maybe a bit underweight but not at all visibley unhealthy at 105lb can be healthy and curvy at 140lb. Not necessarily, but it’s possible.

The same demographic is not necessarily preying on 16 year olds but of course, sadly there’s never a shortage of internet predators. As I said in other comments, you can’t expect her to change mindset or develop coping skills to protect herself, if she’s so controlled that she lacks the autonomy to make decisions