How to hire a manager who can get you medical-grade cocaine, and get hookers and blow into your riders.

How to hire bandmates who are uglier than you so you get the most pussy.

How to use folded socks to make your package more outstanding.

Which states have the lowest age of consent.

Whether you should let chicks be in your band. A good nuanced discussion that considers their singing talent as well as their hotness level.

How proper toanwoods affect your groupie appeal.

The Guess Who - No Sugar Tonight

Burton had to use Splenda

Ask for good sound. He should answer with a thumbs up and a smile. If he doesn't, pour beer on his board

So do you think it'll see 10 times that much? Still not worth worrying about.

Next time sign the contract before you do the work.

Oh I see. Thanks.

I think of the singularity more like an event horizon. More like an asymptote.

The point beyond which we cannot predict anything, literally anything could happen, unimaginably weird things.

What does your curve measure? It seems to be some vague notion of "growth".

Kurzweil is measuring processing density, for example

30k streams is about $70. So you're literally worrying about $9.

Maybe don't retain the lawyer yet.

Prompted! I see what you did there

Hmm actually I find it's usually disgruntled old dudes who remember how good the gigging scene was in the 80s that say this shit.

For some, being even a half-assed musician in the local scene was a decent living, and when it stopped being so somewhere in the mid- to late- 90s (depending on where you live) they said, "nah, I ain't playing for that", and then this attitude got engraved into their mindset. Or something. I dunno. They're still pretty mad. And they think it's some big conspiracy on the part of venues to fuck them and squeeze them. So this is the advice they promulgate on the interwebs. "Never do a free show as it devalues music for everyone else, especially us professional bands." Which, of course, is a crock of unionist horse shit.

In reality they needed to shift gears and reinvent and do free shows and start new scenes - maybe several times in a long career - but they didn't.

You play the accordion, and the genre is polka. E-I-E-I-E-I-O!

100%.

I always say there are three things that make a band tight: playing live, rehearsing, recording. Those are all practice reps with variations.

Two guys can't make rehearsal? Go anyway, because it's more reps and you'll hear different things.

Got a chance to play live but it doesn't pay well? Fucking go anyway, more reps.

I just plug [guitar] into [house amp]. Sometimes I might use [pedal] to get [adjective] [tone].

One time I saw [harmonica] going through a [crude noun describing large numbers] of [pedal]s. He enjoyed the gear talk.

I think you'll be fine. I couldn't even tell I'd had a procedure after a few days. It's really different now. Your face doesn't swell up like a chipmunk like what used to be the case with wisdom tooth extractions 40 years ago.

I would just do the problem tooth until after the big gig, though, just as an abundance of caution. They're gonna want to do both. Or even all four.