While what he did was wrong, it seems her anger is being directed solely at him. I wonder if it's easier to be angry at him than to cope with the abuse directly, parental failures, etc. Seems there is far more.going on here than just being angry with her brother for sharing her trauma. As a CSA survivor, I have many questions, and empathy for both her and her brother in this situation.
Just have to say I agree with you in your stance. It's so twisted to me to think that being alive is the only valid option. For many, such as in your previous case, may view death as truly preferable. I don't understand why we fear that option. Thank you for speaking freely about this and your experience.
No one else can live your life, no one else has to live with your decisions. If you wear a different dress to make everyone else happy, they will attend your wedding then never think of your dress again. While you will feel regret every time you think of your wedding and the dress you didn't get to wear. Other people's opinions are none of your business. Wear your beautiful dress with pride. 💕💕💕
ASRM has strict guidelines on evaluations and psych testing prior to moving forward with surrogacy. I've never seen a clinic in the US not follow these guidelines. I do these evals for a living. This issue and many, many others are discussed thoroughly and documentation of these conversations are on file before any clinic agrees to move forward. This is in addition to the legal side. Are you outside the US?
They all look so clearly like her
Andrea Camilleri or Jonathan Kellerman, earlier works
Ohhhh Dark Academic beauty!!!
I love dress 2 on you 💕 yes you look great in dress 1, but save sexy for later - go bridal!
Thank you for all the time and energy you put into your thoughtful reply. You raise many points I will take under consideration. I feel like this thread has brought up many issues I didn't realize were bothering me so much. I will address these multifaceted issues with my own supervisor, and look for ways to be more proactive myself. I feel like yesterday I was frustrated and jaded and feeling like I am fighting an uphill battle, but as you and some others have suggested, it may be the limited sample size I'm exposed to on a regular basis. That, along with laws in my particularly difficult state probably contributes to my outlook. I appreciate your kindness and I will try to draw from your optimism - Thank you again :)
Yes. We are speaking along the same lines. I find it maddening yet I too am part of the system.
Good point. I do not know enough about how mental health care works in other countries. I will make it a point to learn more.
Not at all, I don't mean to argue that we should accept financial insecurity. I mean to say that we should not be in a position of having to make decisions based on financial insecurity. Like most therapists I know, I work my tail off for very little compensation. I pinch pennies and panic about finances on a regular basis, and I don't think anyone should have to live this way. But I know that if I panic about the penny I will never hold the dollar, and I'm looking for bigger changes in our field. We deserve to be compensated for our education, training, and dedication to working with issues many shy away from. Unfortunately the issue is bigger than me or any one individual, and I absolutely agree that unionizing would grant us some power. I also didn't mean to come across as snarky, so I do apologize.
I'm afraid I have been misunderstood. I don't want anyone to deny fear. I would ideally like people to be aware of their fears and how those fears impact them, then to decide if they are willing to work through those fears (even if only to the point of acceptance) in order to reduce the impact of those fears, both in the individual clinician and with those with which they interact. Denying fear, or any other emotion, would never be my expectation, and I agree that doing so would be extremely detrimental.
I'm not sure I understand. They fight fear via acceptance? I'm open to hearing more.
I'd like people to work through fears, myself included. Your post history seems to suggest we feel similarly about some ways in which this could be done (e g. Mental health tech companies) Yes, fear can lead to change when acknowledged. That is a wonderful mechanism. But when not acknowledged, it keeps us stuck. I admit, I do not understand how my comments invalidate those who have experienced significant oppression (and I'm not sure how any assessments could be made about my personal experiences with significant oppression) but I certainly am open to learning if you are open to teaching me.
Not at all! I think the vast majority of us are doing good work! I mentioned the Counseling Compact earlier as a well known amazing effort, and I hope to see far more things like this in the future. My ultimate goal is to build the confidence of the new therapists and the fearful therapists so they may also engage in these good works. It would be lovely if we could put ourselves out of business (e g. Oppressive systems dismantled, cycles of family dysfunctions stopped, major traumas eradicated) but we know that won't happen. There are far too few of us even to address the mental health /trauma issues that exist currently. Because there are so few of us we need each and every therapist to make sure they get their own therapy, so they can provide examples that will impact not only individual clients but that will also free them to question systems that work against us and our clients. I have faith In our field and I would not have worked in mental health so long if I did not. I understand that change is slow, But it feels like lately the hill we climb is getting steeper. I Have tremendous respect for all those in the field who are working diligently to make these changes.
Ok, so with that example - we are not likely able to give a client a laptop - along the lines of give a mouse a cookie, we'd also need to provide internet, electricity or the means to pay for it, lessons on accessing sessions, etc. But we can be more open to providing phone based services (legal in many places but not widely understood as so) or not charging no show fees when real issues impact clients ability to show up. The fear here is "am I breaking the law by doing counseling on the phone?" (Check your state regulations, and insurance regulations rather than just saying no) Also financial fear "if I don't charge a no show fee I won't have enough money to survive" which relates to controls set by the insurance industry who pays mental health clinicians less than other licensed healthcare providers. If we address our own fears through education, good supervision and professional support, then engage together as many of us are called to do in fighting to reduce systems of oppression that impact us and our clients, we step out of fear and into action. We can't be solo practitioners as we fight for justice, we must unite. In my own sphere, I have fears of losing licensure due to serving a population that is engaging in something that has just become illegal in my state. Do I stop serving these people? Or do I step out of fear and fight for what is right, even if I lose my license doing so?
I hope so too. Thank you.
Fear based therapists are the ones who are so concerned with authority and ramifications that they never stop to question what is right - they follow the party line and do not actively seek to make changes, either personally, within their sphere of influence or on a grander scale. It's not a circle, it's a straight line.
Please see some of my other replies.
Actually if I understand your reply as I think I do, we are not too far from being on the same page. I absolutely agree that little changes by individual therapists are key to making positive changes on the small scale. I believe that it is through efforts such as those that will work in unison to bring about the bigger changes desperately needed. Legislators and Policymakers can make big changes, but what is their motivation to do so, if we do not each take the responsibility to make the small changes within our spheres of influence necessary to promote those bigger shifts? I think a good example of this is all those who are working on the Counseling Compact. This motion did not come from fear based therapists, it came from the movers and shakers, and I applaud their efforts. I also agree completely, it's not at all simple.
If they need you to work that much, they need you too badly to let you go. Which means you have power. Please use it.
My company wants me to schedule 45 sessions a week
therapists