I’ll try going straight down. Yeah I’ve tried increasing the hydration before and it makes the dough nice and airy but it’s more prone to spreading if not using a baker. I have been told because spelt has weaker gluten structure that’s just to be expected?

LOL that’s why we call it a “man look” I guess

Omg why have I never put those two together before! I definitely don’t need your to fix my annoying social problem but heck have at the pile of laundry that needs to be”fixing” lol

Yeah I double take every time I see it wit him instead of the FL on the banner.

NTA he’s doing some weird dominance flex and pissed that you’re not backing down. I’d take the mug home because he seems to have zero respect for personal belongings and I wouldn’t be surprised if it mysteriously disappears or gets broken in retaliation.

People saying you shouldn’t expect personal things at work to be safe are being ridiculous. What about your handbag/wallet/phone? Are they also fair game because they are left at your desk at work?

You are not overreacting. If he mentions it again I’d ask him why he’s so fixated on your personal belongings. And might be worth mentioning to HR incase anything escalates

I did share the recipe and method. They are in the link at the bottom. I do stretch and folds like the recipe calls for, if I’m adding inclusions I laminate them in when I shape before cold proofing. I follow sourdough journeys guide for ferment times and percentages so unless the kids have prevented me from checking the dough when I needed to it’s never more than a smidge over or under proofed.

NTA also give him a history lesson. Pink used to be for boys because it might excite girls too much they used to say girls should wear blue so they could be “calmer”. He might also like to know that things like makeup were originally for men too haha

The problem with the SIDS statistics is that suffocation is lumped in with it which it shouldn’t be. SIDS is sudden and unexplained (though there’s research now that suggests they’ve found the reason). Accidental suffocation is devastating and preventable. If you fall asleep holding your child in a chair or on a couch that also is lumped in with the co sleeping stats.

Safe sleep 7 if you look that up is guidelines for minimising the risks. For me my first would.not.sleep unless she was beside me for a very long time and it got to the point where I was starting to doze off while feeding her in the middle of the night. So to keep her safe we changed our set up. Cleared away blankets, tied back hair, no meds or alcohol that could cause issues etc and it was 100% safer than falling asleep in a chair or sitting on the bed and risking her getting into a dangerous position.

Parenting is about making the best safest choices you can for your child and minimizing risks

***edited to add it’s recommended in Australia that you share a room for at least the first 6months preferably up to a year. They can hear your breathing etc and it helps them regulate too. Plus running across the house in the middle of the night sucks. If you want a middle ground they make side sleeper cribs that you can strap to the bed so they are in arms reach but in their own space. We actually to the side off our crib and strapped it to the bed (making sure there were no gaps etc) so Bub had their own space and I could scoot over to feed them and then away again when I needed space and I didn’t have to worry about them falling off the bed!

Yeah daycare costs a fortune once she starts school it will get a little easier! What is the most beneficial to small kids is quality time. So don’t feel guilty about the activities! They are so expensive these days! We didn’t do many activities as kids, once we school aged we played soccer at our local club which was pretty cheap and learnt an instrument through school so it wasn’t too expensive but that was it. No crazy fancy holidays - camping was usually what we did, somewhere with a pool and playground. We are doing a little better than my parents were at this stage but only because I also usually work casual after hours shifts so my husband has the kids. And my parents are doing much better these days and were able to gift us some money towards a house deposit. My husband puts extra effort into saving money so the kids can go on rides at local fairs because I know that was something he really wished he could do as a kid.

I’m more worried about how the world will look when the kids are grown now. House prices just keep going up and so does cost of living but wages are not. Were going to work out butts off to try to make sure we won’t be a financial burden to our kids and hopefully also be able to offer them that small leg up that my parents gave us to buy our house

NTA names are a two yes thing. The person you knew sounds awful and just because you may have been to therapy to stop the trauma from affecting your life it doesn’t mean the name won’t always be tainted for you.

I have no problems with naming kids after family. One of my children is just names we loved and the second is names after someone close to me who passed and my husbands middle name is the same as theirs.

Now your husband has accepted it you both need to remove it as a topic of conversation for your in laws -“this topic isn’t up for discussion, how’s the weather today?” Etc. Grey rock the topic and I wouldn’t tell them the name until after you’ve had the baby and submitted the paperwork because it wouldn’t be surprising if they try to ruin whatever names you do choose if you give them half a chance

NTA imagine being so fragile that a child asking a question sends you over the edge.

The whole “children should be seen and not heard” is shitty and rightfully outdated.

It’s a valid question and they should be do some introspection on why they have such a problem with it. Honestly shutting them down when they ask questions isn’t going to build the kind of relationship I suspect they think the names entitle them to.

It sounds like it’s been an incredibly rough time for you, I’m glad you’ve got help now and things are looking a little better. I hope your mum sticks in therapy too. Good job standing up for yourself and saying no more ❤️

NTA your FIL is a self absorbed jerk and I’m sure your wife is grateful you helped to put him in his place. I’m guessing the visit was much more pleasant after he stormed off to his truck lol

NTA honestly for me this would be a divorceable offence. He lost his job, ok that happens but Not only is he not pulling his weight around the house since he is currently a SAHD he is racking up thousands in secret debt and then blaming you for it. I don’t think there’s any way back from this. He doesn’t even understand how wrong this is and is badmouthing you to everyone

Yeah he is, and you know what some restaurants do use reusable straws these days…. If he legitimately thinks this is a problem he does need help but if he’s just being difficult I really am just puzzled

Ok no sharing cutlery cups etc is a good plan BUT not sharing clean utensils that other people own is beyond. Does he never eat at restaurants or other peoples houses? Does he expect your daughter to never eat out or does he think she will forever carry her own cutlery and utensils around with her?

Are you the bf?

NTA let him be the head of his own miserable little household. I hope your mum can find a way to leave. It doesn’t sound like he brings much in the way of positives to her life. I’m guessing all you kids are grown now so I hope she can find a way to make a change for herself and be happy

Yeah not looking forward to this when my son is old enough to drive

OMG the most emotionally unreasonable and unstable people I know are men 🤦🏻‍♀️ but please tell me more about how being in a buttload of physical pain made me snap at you when you were too drunk to remember to turn on the washing machine 😒

NTA and if he lets this permanently ruin his relationship with his daughter that really tells you all you need to know about him. I agree changing bubs name sounds like the best way forward for you guys and therapy for the whole series of events would be helpful to process in a healthy way. And you may want to reassess just how much contact you both want with FIL in light of these new developments but anyone who was trying to drive a wedge between me and my husband would be delegated to unavoidable contact only (eg mutual family events).

NTA you’ve been offering support you just want adults to live elsewhere.

Shouldn’t have snooped but also I don’t see how you could keep that from your mum once you found out. Your dad’s the cheater not you. His choices are what’s led to this, I doubt he would have never been discovered. I’m curious how he thought talking to him first would have changed anything. If he was clearly cheating what’s he gonna say he slipped and accidentally send those messages?

NTA those are two completely seperate situations. You were still a child when you had your daughter and you knew you wouldn’t be able to provide for her so you did the best thing you could - that’s literally a parents job. Now you are older and stable your helping look after your bf kid who just lost their mum that’s got zero to do with your history and there is absolutely nothing wrong or bad about it. Helping to give that kid a safe home is a good thing.