I feel so awful. I can barely contain myself and everything fucking exhausts me. I hate almost everything right now. The work grind is killing me and my traumas won’t stop haunting me.

I feel like I’m working so fucking hard and I don’t want to be. Life fucking sucks and I feel apologetic for how depressing this is but I just need to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading.

Struggling so hard. Any encouraging words are appreciated. Thank you 😭

EDIT: thank you all for your replies! I’ve eeen them and and feel heard. Thank you 😭

God damn. I have been going through hell after giving my trust to various medical providers in desperate attempts for help with my ptsd and other mental illnesses, only for them to fucking retruamatize the hell out of me. They dismiss me, wonder why I can’t just spill everything that’s wrong with me in one sitting, question why I don’t give them my immediate trust, engage in dishonest unethical billing practices

Fuck them. I have been emotionally damaged by these folks. I know I need help from SOMEONE, but now I am too afraid to seek any more help from therapists or doctors for my mental health. The medical trauma is so real & it hurts

Fuck the Christmas music, decorations, family gatherings

Tried loving it every year in childhood but it was ruined every time by family trauma. That is all.

Is anyone here willing to reply to me on this post? Currently having an anxiety attack/ meltdown and really need some support. Thanks in advance

Edit: thank u so much to everyone who has commented. Means a lot. Ironically I can’t get myself to reply even though I just asked for someone to talk to. That’s Cptsd for u I guess. Will reply once I have the energy

Oh how infuriating

I’m not asking for a perfect parent… of course they will make mistakes…., but I am asking for one who does not intentionally harm their or other children. Anyone with me on this?

Really struggling recently and am very alone. Everything I used to like is bothersome to me and I have no one to lean on right now

Would appreciate any kind words ❤️

EDIT: thank you everyone who responded and read. ❤️

There are many types of victim blamers but right now, I want to discuss the type who blames you for having a non existent or poor relationship with your parents and /family.

It’s so fucking exhausting hearing their shit.

Somehow it’s my fault that I have a poor relationship with family. I’ve had multiple 0close” (or so I thought) friends over the span of my life talk behind my back and be super condescending towards me for not having a close relationship with my parents. Some friends know there was abuse, and some don’t. Either way, it’s so fucking upsetting. These friends of mine are all privileged people in that they had healthy, loving parents.

Somehow, it’s always the child’s fault, no matter the parents’ behavior.

I know it’s not my fault and I try to ignore their shit and ignorance, but my anger keeps resurfacing.

How do you cope with this type of BS??

I woke up sobbing after dreaming that a romantic partner (in the dream) left me out of the blue.

Can someone please tell me something to make me feel better? I feel pathetic but I’m so hurt and reminded of all my abandonment traumas

It’s so hard.

I’ll finally be ok for a bit, and then the memories come flooding in. I feel so confused and sad and dissociated and want to explain what I’m going through to a friend or therapist for validation, but after being invalidated and intentionally hurt by them so many times, I don’t trust them enough to tell them. What the hell?

I get mad as fuck when I experience injustice or see others experiencing njustice. The anger causes my blood to boil, headaches, loss of appetite. I can’t think of anything else. I try to tell myself that it will be ok and it will be something I might not even remember in several months time, but my anger gets out of control sometimes.

I do not physically get any anger out or displace it on others. It’s mostly all internal. I find some people to rant to if they are willing to listen but still that’s not enough. Journaling helps sometimes too

I usually get over these things because the next stressful thing comes up in my world that causes me to “move on” and focus on the next thing. I know this is not great but it’s what happens.

Please help. Exercise is a definite option but the depression stops me.

So cliche but life hurts so much these days. I feel even more alone about it bc I can’t manage to tell anyone just how deeply I hurt.

Suicidal ideation has been getting worse. I don’t know how telling anyone about this would help me but I feel sad that I keep it to myself like a secret.

Depressed and sort of have no energy to talk, but thought I’d try. Thanks in advance 🩵

I’m sick and tired of everything.

I hate always being the lone wolf, the one different friend.

I am so traumatized and I hate life.

I have suicidal thoughts by night, then need to wake up the next morning if I sleep at all and do the dumb routine of going to a job I absolutely hate just so I can financially support myself…yet I don’t even want to be here. I’m financially supporting myself to live, but I don’t want to live in the first place.

I’m overwhelmed by social interactions and struggle so much to respond to friends messages.

How do you cope with this miserable life? Sure there are good moments here and there, but it just doesn’t feel worth it.

I’m sad, lonely, and pretty miserable. I started having scary suicidal thoughts, and even coming to grips with this reality of mine is so hard.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

That’s pretty much it.

Just…why.?

Feeling lonely and would like to chat with someone if able. Thank you 🖤