My first thought is "who wouldn't want a fig tree?" but I guess some don't. This link has some really excellent guidance where your responsibilities are laid out and where the neighbour might actually be breaking the law

https://www.consumer.org.nz/articles/trees-and-neighbours

On another note, herbicides which they cannot legally use to deal with your tree do not leave residue in soil so they can plant as they please. The reality is there are no significant costs and no damage being caused that you can see so abatement is their only option

Ooohhh Okay. Thank you.

Oh ffs yes I see it now. That IS funny. Thank you

So you don't appear to know all the circumstances surrounding this yet. Having been cheated on myself, being the last to know was the worst. But he's also your friend.

I think you have the right course of action from your update.

If he doesn't have to tell her, and lots of people don't know, I'm wondering what good it will do for him to destroy this woman by telling her. By the same token, being the last to know is ick.

One thing is for certain. He had better not do it again

I gotta be honest. I don't get it

Absolutely. We are different in many ways too but I understand she's a kind and good person. I have a similar fondness

As a 47yo I hate these posts. GenX behaving like fucking boomers.

Then raising kids with ADHD, autism and peanut allergies. My brother who would be 53 now had ADHD

So stay home and let your wife go to the gym. Problem solved.

Why not? Because you're not mature enough to handle it

My beautiful man's SO is beautiful and I've realised we look very similar. I take it as a compliment but bugger looking them up online! I don't want or need to see that

I think it actually needs intimacy. Sometimes sex can't happen for one reason or another, but when that's the case, putting effort in elsewhere, with love and time, couples can still feel very much a part of a marriage. I think in a perfect world for most married couples sex is ideal though. One only has to look at the adultery sub to see the number of affairs due to dead bedrooms to understand that. I do not condone, rather, understand that there is a correlation.

In saying that, I don't think sex is something that should be forced out of a person, but what's needed in a marriage from both sides is work , love and effort

Because he's realised she's lazy and boring

Stupid fucking question not worth answering

But I think you'll find hiking was an example. She does not have to go hiking

Yes. We did

Jesus where is your brain. She doesn't have to fucking hike!

That's what prams are for. I managed to be active as a single parent raising three children aged 2, 4 and q2. There was absolutely no support for me. Fact is if someone wants to be active there's no excuse. If they don't, there's every excuse

Yes I did. The fact is sugar coating this stuff helps nobody

Nope, I'm an honest person laying it out without sugarcoating it. Sometimes the brutal truth is the only way yo help someone

It's often the kick in the guts that gets the most action. That's reality

Because he wants to spend real quality time with his wife

Your husband loves you. He wants to spend time with you and make love to you.

When you have a dead bedroom other things really begin to matter.

Fact is, you won't do shit with him and you won't fuck him, so you're not his wife. You're his flatmate.

Honestly, I'd regret marrying you too.

Yes it's a very harsh thing I'm saying but it's a harsh reality. If you can't meet him half way then you're gonna destroy your marriage.

Get off your backside and go to the beach, or a day walk, or on another adventure. It's not about how much you weigh, it's about being an active, participating half of a marriage.

If you can't do that, he's gonna leave you. End of story

Seriously. A baby and minor abdominal surgery. It's Bern 2 years. I think that excuse has long since died

Really? It's seriously as bad as googling "Cleveland steamer"? I don't think so

If you're in a long term partnership with a child, then you're in it together. Not for two separate portions. If she loves you, her family and her home she should be picking up the slack. A family is a team. And she should certainly be picking up the bill for after school care

Well if they refuse to be responsible for the babies they make, they're clearly not going to be self responsible