What about “I need you home” from your pregnant wife doesn’t suggest she’s in labor
NTA You were a little BUSY.
You need to end this. You won’t get answers. He’s unhinged and he’s also an abuser. You can’t stay with abusers. It’s that simple. Leave. Leave. Leave.
Kinda sounds…flighty?
If you’re extremely financially comfortable then I guess go for it. But why not finish college if it means more stability?
Sure your hobby doesn’t need to make you money. But can you truly afford to put college on hold, again, for a hobby??
It’s not the vaping, it’s the disrespect.
I really like them as a couple and I think they do a great job of illustrating what teenage sexual and romantic relationships are like at that age.
It’s 2024. He has access to a myriad of resources and research about women’s pleasure and how to be good at sex.
He just doesn’t care.
That’s it. That’s all. Don’t waste your time.
“Listen, I was thinking about your kind gesture for your client and realized I felt a little put out when I think about how we celebrate birthdays. It’s really important to me that you acknowledge and celebrate me on my birthday with a gesture like that- can you do that going forward?”
Not overreacting yet
I often think they don’t actually expect the ex to pay for their kids- they just want to push the blame onto the ex.
They can’t blame the ex for their own poor family planning choices, and they certainly don’t want to own those choices themselves, so they pretend that they actually expect the ex to pay
Yep. I tell my kids, there are 2 types of unfairness in the world: inherent unfairness that cannot be changed, and unfairness that can and should be changed.
These adults chose a blended family. This means they chose the natural consequence of the inherent unfairness that comes with raising children in different households with different resources.
OP’s mother is an outside, third party to their household. Any discrepancy between the resources at her home vs theirs is not an unfairness to be corrected. It’s a natural situation and they chose to have more kids than they can afford.
I think it’s as simple as, let’s blame a third party instead of owning the fact that we had more children than we could afford
NTA
Adults who choose blended families, choose inherent unfairness for the children involved. Someone will always have more or less.
The parents who choose this for their children choose to help them navigate feelings of jealousy while also ensuring their other children aren’t deprived and do not feel guilt.
Your dad and his wife chose the lazy method instead- blame your mom instead of actually parenting.
You, nor your mom, chose to have more children than one could afford. Your dad did. Whomp whomp.
Isn’t it interesting how not once did your husband say “hey stepsister sorry you got sick but let’s clean this together”
NTA
lol it’s not a Disney movie. She didn’t sign some dastardly seal that he shalt not clean.
She assumed he wouldn’t disrespect her by making an embarrassing and cringy mess and expect her to clean up after him
Yeah she should have said no. But he also knows she has a real issue with red meat so it’s possible she had a moment where she just couldn’t do it.
Paying the whole thing seems silly. They’re married.
NTA
My husband straight up said no, I’m not allowed to go, because he knows I really don’t WANT to and that my presence would ruin his trip knowing that the only reason I came was to feel less anxious about not being away from my son
An adult who feels entitled to speak to their spouse this way is throwing up abuser flags. NTA
lol it’s not his right to be an AH about bodily autonomy though baby gonzo
Let it tear you apart. He doesn’t care about your own bodily autonomy. He’s shared his opinion but now wants to shame and blame you into doing what he wants.
You don’t want this. It’ll wreck your life.
Losing him is easier than having this child.
NTA
He knew he was leaving those ducks to die. He knew it.
I’d cut them both out.
Hate and disrespect aren’t actually mutually exclusive.
It is still disrespect. It is still choosing to make an unnecessary comment on someone’s appearance and do it because they’re a woman and YOU are more comfortable doing so.
So sure, it’s not always done with malicious intent but that doesn’t make it well intentioned, either.
Exactly! And it was the 90s so we actually did have queer people who were out, but they were media personalities and celebrities so again, lotta “stereotypes”
Uhhhh he should feel unwelcome to urinate in full view of the house full of women and children yeah.
NTA.
But then he does it again- so it’s not remorse. It’s to throw you off and shut you up.
OP are you calling this what it is? It’s sexual abuse. Use those words.
The “downtrodden” act lasting for days when YOU are the victim….
Your husband continues to SA when you sleep. It’s not about trying to make him understand without being defensive. It’s about being safe. You aren’t with him.
NTA
Look- I get it. Sometimes I’m just over our neighbors kids being over or my kids going over and having to manage the lunches and the squabbles and whatever else - even without some stupid “bickering” between parents lol
But my kid doesn’t miss out because I’ve got a chapped ass. I take space as needed but my family isn’t expected to. He can hide it out.
AITA for telling my husband that me and the kids will not be living by his comfort levels?
AITAH