You should swing by and check out the town festival, Dildo Days, and take a picture with the town mascot, Captain Dildo!

Hope he tries this with a tiger shark next.

The Mall of America has sharps disposal containers in their restrooms as well.

The town has an annual festival called Dildo Days and a mascot named Captain Dildo. It's a wonderful place!

Trying desperately to avoid going into tonic immobility 😳

That's far from a derp! Such a good boy!

The juice doesn't taste bad but the diarrhea is nightmarish.

Maybe true but he can't carry... pocket sand sha sha.

Make a sign "The other 51 are up to you! Might we suggest Fuck it Fridays!?"

It means "we are looking for you." Or something roughly similar.

You had three options! Albeit, two mildly annoying options. How did you find a new way to miss this!?