I matched with a girl on Hinge fairly recently. The conversation had been going really well and we were actively arranging a date. The topic of singers we liked came up and she named Taylor Swift. She wasn’t a big Swiftie as far as I could tell, but was definitely a fan and took issue when I said I wasn’t.

I won't bore you with the full conversation but I eventually mentioned how I felt like if Taylor had so many failed relationships with men who went on to be in much healthier relationships then maybe the blame couldn't always be put on them. I know, shouldn't have poked the bear. In response she said, and I can quote the message exactly because I screenshot it and sent it to my sister,

“Taylor’s been through so much pain in her life and had to deal with so many guys treating her like shit and a man like you wouldn’t even know what it’s like to really be hurt you could never understand real trauma like she does.”

Firstly, I’m non-binary and she knew this so the “man” comment felt a little pointed. Secondly, I didn’t disclose this to her because it’s not easy to talk about or really something you just bring up on a dating app, but I was SA'd about 5 years ago. Obviously she didn’t know this, but to say that what Swift has been through was trauma-inducing? Compared to not only my experience but also the experiences of so many others who have been hurt and scarred by sexual or emotional abuse, that just showed me how deluded some of her fans can be.