My spouse was assaulted as a kid, and it still affects our intimacy. For a few years during trauma therapy, we had sex 1-2 times a year max.
I love her more than anything in the world, but the lack of sex led me to cheating. I'm still trying to repair the damage
Hi, this could definitely be true. I have aphantasia, which means I can't visualize. When I close my eyes, I can't see what's in my imagination. I don't I spend much time contemplating the past of future. I don't daydream. I am very much a present in the current moment kind of person.
I see people disassociate all the time, getting lost in thought. I think they can explore ideas in that space with more depth than I usually do. I don't know if that's any better than my method of figuring things out, but it looks deeper for sure.
But what about the soapies?
Yes. I make most of the money, and if they were separate, it wouldn't feel equitable in the relationship. She has never had much money in life and is much more frugal than I am.
IMO a big part of marriage is sharing overhead for life stuff. As a person in civilized society, there are so many boxes you need to tick in life. Any one of those areas where we can share responsibility eases the individual's burden.
C'mon, we know you cant afford your own place. Microwaves and the fridge are on your landlord.
There is a willow in my city like this, but it was cut like 10 feet up. The trunk is massive, probably closed to 100 years old. It will out with branches every year that are super disproportional to the trunk. I think it's neat.
They have some great hooks, but all their songs feel like they drag on after the first 30 seconds
Props, I got fat after 4 years and left instead of going for that 2nd round of BCP. SEMPER FI!
IDK, robo death dogs don't need a haircut every Monday.
In 15-20 years I will be maintaining all the old hardware the AI is running on that is being built today. My job is safe until AI starts maintaining old telecom equipment.
Kinks are fine. you can tie it in a knot and it will still work. The only way this cable will fail is if the copper in one of the twisted pair breaks, or one of the connections to the tip breaks.
I've worked in networking since 2016. That is fine. You could trim and re-tip it if it bothers you (Tools online for this cost maybe $15). The cable is fine like this and will cause you no trouble. Shortening it would just be for your aesthetic pleasure.
I keep a box of untipped cable in my closet so I can cut them as needed. Buy these and never worry about overpriced cables again...
Finances and dating are tough. TBH, I am glad to be married; we just lump everything together. I provide like 80% of the finances, and always have, but last year when I was unemployed for 4 months, she went to full time with no complaints. She's an artist/bookseller and I'm an engineer who gets VA disability, so there will always be a bit of a discrepancy in the earning department.
I'm sorry friend, I hope I never have to go back to that life. She kind of sounds like someone who might benefit from living on a budget. Maybe firmly establish your "fun" budget, and if it's empty just let her know your strapped on disposable income until the next check. She might admire that financial responsibility.
Original loan was at 3.5% and the re-fi was 4.25%. Better than today's rates, but it still hurt a little. After HR stonewalled me, I started asking forgiveness, not permission.
I will stress that they kind of needed me, and would be unable to fill my seat easily if I had quit. By the time the issued the RTO notice, this wasn't the case as they merged our dept. with another one.
I tried to get HR approval to move out of state and it was denied. I had a good relationship with my manager, so I brought it up with him. I was fully remote in that roll, and was designated as a remote worker by the company. I asked if I would be fired if I just moved anyways. He said he didn't want to lose me and wouldn't fire me for moving.
My wife and I decided to risk it and just move to the Midwest. I worked in that roll for another 18 months before the company issued a RTO order. I refused the order and I was fired. They also raised my pay 40% like a month before the order, my guess as an incentive to move back.
The bank wanted to see me in the role out of state for 6 months before they would consider my income for a mortgage. Luckily some family co-signed on my loan so I could buy right when I moved. I refinanced 6 months later and got their name off my house.
By the time I got fired, I had bought a new house and paid off like 20% of it. My savings were great (Midwest COL + California pay). I eventually got a new, lower-paying local job that still more than covers my financial needs.
Some days during COVID, it definitely felt a bit weird looking at sensitive information over a VPN, but still on my home network. If you are curious about the type of work, it involved tracking government planes and ships in real time.
Sounds like you will make enough to live comfortably in either city. You won't have that roll forever, so don't plan your entire life on this next decision. Think about where you want to live, how far you want to be from family, and if you want to move to a new country. I think that will play a bigger role in your happiness than the pay/COL differences between these two options.
I work 9:00 to 5:00 at a job I'm not passionate about, but for an organization that I respect a lot.
I don't tie up my purpose in my work, but rather than what I do in my off time, not for money.
I used to work 4 days a week, and that was so much better for work life balance. It's not something an individual worker can control though, so I think you just have to adapt.
I recommend touching some grass. Working on natural stuff helps me. I'm taking a day off on July 11th to clear some land of invasive plants. I like to work on rewilding and planting forests.
I only sleep 6 hours a night, I drink too much coffee, but I'm not tired all the time so I don't know how to give you advice there
how strong are your fingers?
She should go talk to/gossip with her neighbors. I wish we could file complaints for people trying to socialize with us. I bet she buys into the corporate family bullshit
I got offered 100k once, but turned it down since I would have had to move to ATL and work at the airport. I get 20k/year from VA disability, and 69k/year from the university I work at. I'm not rich, but my family is (we've got 3 current CEO's, 2 former). At least I almost own my house...
Sounds like you make enough to buy a house in a non-major city. Especially in the south or Midwest
I have a weak memory, but am living in the moment pretty much constantly. I think it has to do with my aphantasia
What's the off season for indoor construction?
For 2k you could buy the equipment needed to start a deck business
If you had $2000 to make money with what would you do?
MakeMoney