How does anything you said argue against what I said? The person who doesn’t like the pay doesn’t need to take the job, sure, but that still doesn’t mean a small business owner shouldn’t have to offer fair wages for “livable means.” The same way a person doesn’t need to take the job, a person doesn’t need to run a business if they’re clearly incapable. A small business owner can also look for a job and is“free to get a different one that pays more.” It’s not creating an unfair system. What is unfair is saying people who are running a business should have more privilege than people who don’t have those same means and are simply trying to work to also make money, which is the same goal as a small business owner.

There’s a social issue of appearance when it comes to poverty also, though. Let’s say someone cannot afford a newer outfit for a job interview, ya know, living within their means. They show up in an old dress shirt, faded slacks, and obviously worn shoes, not disheveled looking, but definitely not as presentable as it could be. As much as we like to think that wouldn’t matter in bigger scheme of manners and experience, it 100% does, and someone who looks a bit nicer has a better shot at being hired. And someone can’t look nicer without having the means in the first place, or spending the money they don’t have now in the hopes of earning more later.

It’s a slippery cycle that applies to many scenarios which makes it difficult for people in poverty to be treated as fairly. Imagine in school the kid that always wears the same shirt, it’s clean, but it’s obvious they cant get anything better. That person who always ends up turning down invites out because they can’t afford it. The looks someone gets for driving a hoopty, or having an old flip phone, or living in a sparsely furnished apartment. All of these people get scorned in some way or another, and as much as we say “who cares what others think,” the truth is as humans we are social creatures and what others think of our outside matters a lot.

Or vice versa, I had a brand new phone and people thought I was well off. I didn’t pay for the phone or the bill, I was fortunate to be gifted by a family member who was proud I’d started college. But whenever I claimed to not have money, people would either reference the phone as if I was lying, or scoff at me having something so expensive while also being broke. It was as if being poor also meant I wasn’t allowed to have nice things. Like products of quality are things you must earn as a member of society, and not things you can simply have under various circumstances.

Oh, the “small business owners” argument, which has two major flaws no one using the argument likes to acknowledge.

1) Employee wages are a business expense, just like leasing a property, or buying supplies, or paying taxes. If you can’t run your business without employees who you cannot afford to pay, then you just can’t afford your business, period.

2) Employees aren’t people working as a favor because they’re bored, that’s called “volunteering.” Employees are providing a service that helps the business make money, and in return they deserve a fair compensation, because the people who run the business need the money to live, and cannot do so without employees, who also need money to live. So whatever bar we are holding as “living within means” for the employers, the bar ought to be similar for the employees. Otherwise, you’re essentially supporting slavery. And I can’t help but wonder how many people who argue “but small business won’t survive,” would say something similar back when slavery was abolished. “Sure, I don’t support slavery, but without so many places might go out of business!” 🤔

My first really terrible mental breakdown i can confidently remember was at age 9, and I had small ones periodically from then until I’d say about age 13 when I got much better at masking. Then my teen years were much more holding it together until I’d “lash out,” but since everyone was accustomed to me being so well behaved, in those bad times I could apologize and act like “Oh my, I’m not sure what got into me,” and people simply attributed it all to angst. My mother was too focused on her troubles and would get upset if she felt anyone, including me, made her feel like she wasn’t a great parent, so even though she occasionally took us to family therapy in her hopes that it would help all of us, it never went anywhere because she’d eventually get annoyed if it seemed I was blaming too much on her. She didn’t want me depressed, and she was one of the few adults who would use the term, even our family therapist acted like I was too young to have clinical depression, but my mom believed it. But it was as if she was frustrated I didn’t simply “turn it off.” In my adult hindsight I know she was trying her best, and she was also mentally ill, she didn’t hide it, but damn if her pride and vanity didn’t get in the way of her parenting all the time. My depression, anxiety, panic, and dissociation really built up over the years.

The next major one I can recall was around 20, I think? Can’t remember exactly when it happened, but it was the first major time I felt one of my partial dissociative sides take over in a dark way that I couldn’t stop.

Had another bad dissociative episode a couple years later, and some terrible panic attacks. My roommates by then thankfully understood to keep away from me if I was acting too “off.” Honestly, I’m grateful they never tried to Baker Act me. I think they knew I didn’t want to hurt myself or anyone else, I just hadn’t learned how to control my triggers. I was also good at hiding my other issues, like the ED I developed, but I was very open about my mental issues, like my depression and anxiety and how they’d morph into panic and selective mutism. I noticed the more “normal” I was about it the more people grew accustom to my behavior and learned how I coped and how to cope with me. I still masked like hell, which is why I don’t think anyone fully knew how bad I was getting.

Had a big anxiety a few years ago 2019(?) which was my turning point of finally deciding I couldn’t cope alone anymore and I needed to seek out professional medical help. For years I told myself as long as I could keep a job I was fine. Then I had an anxiety breakdown at work where I told my manager “I can’t do this!” and ran out the door. I thought I was screwed. I was sure I was fired. I definitely shouldn’t have been on the road but I didn’t live far. I went home and took some medication that may have not been prescribed to me to knock me out and help me forget that morning. I woke up groggy hours later, but mentally clear enough to call my job and apologize for walking out and explain I was mentally unwell. Thankfully my manager was understanding and said if I can come in for my next shift we’re good. The fact that I had a major breakdown at work in a way that could have cost me my job was my personal wake-up call to seek out a doctor. COVID kind of delayed that for a hot minute, but now I’m getting treatment.

To this day I still get people who act like I’m overreacting, or that I’m not living up to my “responsibilities” when I need to pause for my mental health. I have coworkers who get angry if I need to call out even after I’ve explained when I’m having an episode it isn’t safe for me to drive (even though I owe them no explanations). To this day my mother will still ask me to “just stop” feeling anxious or depressed. I have to fight with myself to remember those people are in the wrong, not me. I’m allowed to take my mental health as seriously as any other physical ailment. But it has taken nearly my entire life to come to this point.

This is what hurts but also what I love about the complex mother-daughter relationships in the show. Emily/Lorelai, Lorelai/Rory, Mrs. Kim/Lane, there are so many push-pull dynamics that these stubborn women do to each other, but they do it out of the hope that they are doing their best for their child because they do love their child. But at the same time, overbearing mothers (even Lorelai) often forget that what they consider love might not translate. You don’t get to decide how another person interprets your feelings for them, and forcing it is damaging. Yet each mother here has needed to relent at some point because in the end they do love their daughters and to some degree the daughters know it and keep fighting for the ideal relationship they don’t and probably won’t have.

Yes, I have a relationship like this with my mother, and it’s difficult and I refuse to watch the show with her because it’s too real, but at the same time it’s cathartic for me by myself lol

Yeah, but Mrs. Kim strikes me as the type to know exactly what to say to put fear into someone and that’s what she was trying to do lol

Omg this so much!!! So many of my friends talk about how tired and achy they are all the time, but all they do is sit on their asses most of the time. Take a deep breath and try to touch your toes once in a while. Even tiny stretches can do wonders if done consistently.

But if you’re saying 2005, that wouldn’t be 20 years since Stardust released in 2023, which means presumably the song was written by that year if not before. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I was watching something that said Lake Michigan is so big and cold that if it was possible to drain the whole thing we’d find the lake floor is probably covered in semi-preserved bodies and sunken boat wrecks. The size and strength of those waters are no joke.

I mean, Sherry was already admittedly a workaholic and based on her friends probably more self-centered and selfish than we see. Neither she nor Chris were ever good at putting their children before themselves.

Lindsay’s mom did get a bit out of pocket though. Rory was wrong, yes, but it takes two to cheat. And why tf did Dean save that letter and leave it somewhere his wife could find it?! Maybe he was too much of a coward to end the relationship himself.

Especially since she dropped out of school, so it’s not like she had that hectic schedule holding her up. And even though she intended to get a job, she was living on an estate with servants rent free! Here’s the world’s smallest violin for your troubles.

My dog had food when I didn’t during my times of struggle. All I thought about was when I was a little kid my mom would eat less to make sure I had my fill even when we didn’t have much. I know many people don’t see their pet as important as a child, but that’s how I see mine, and circumstances would need to be pretty desperate for me to give up my child. I once “abandoned” her with my family for a couple of months when I was semi-homeless, and years later I still feel bad about it even though I came back. Thinking about her waking up and not knowing where I went or why I haven’t returned breaks my heart, especially since, once again, I’d experienced that as a child with my own mother.

I can imagine Emily not liking a maid speaking English too well, but also not liking them not speaking English well enough (despite AYITL) lol

This is true, but also part of the responsibility problem and why there are so many arguments about rights and bodily autonomy nowadays. Not saying you’re wrong to want proof, do what you need to do for your own peace of mind, but if it’s true and it is yours, you now have to adjust your life for a new human and spend years cultivating them into a decent member of society, while also dealing with a young woman you clearly don’t fully trust.

I know sex isn’t just about procreation for humans, but it’s also pretty annoying that people are so blasé about who they fuck without considering any consequences until they’re hit in the face with them, because it’s children that often bear the brunt of it.

This! That’s really what it is for me. I don’t think everyone has to be all smiles and polite words with every encounter. I grew up in a city where dialogue gets straight to the point, but that’s not the same as entitled audacity. I don’t mind curtness, but I don’t like bullies.

I don’t often mind where I sit as long as it’s not in the very back near the restrooms (a long, crowded, smelly flight taught me that lol) I just don’t like bullies. I prefer the window cause I’m like a little kid and I like watching the world get smaller, but not having that seat isn’t a dealbreaker.

Seriously lol Had she waited for my brother to sit and said, “Excuse me, the aisle seat makes me xyz, can we trade?” He wouldn’t have said yes, but I could have, I simply didn’t want he and I seated too far apart. But making it seem like he was being unreasonable for not letting her do whatever she wanted pissed me off.

When people default to rude and entitled I stand firm rooted to my position, but when people are understanding and reasonable I can sway with the wind. I’m pretty good at deciding when it’s worth it in the moment or when it will cause more trouble.

And I know some people feel like, “Well, if you’re so amenable then why argue the point at all?” But I don’t like rewarding rude behavior for people to get there way. Each time they get their way it reinforces the habit and it becomes hard on people like my brother who don’t speak up for themselves. It’s like my tiny form of social justice to treat those people like kindergarteners 😂

Lol No. I like being firm but courteous. Once the flight attendant kind of took over there was no need for me to further instigate 😊

Yeah, as someone who has worked lots of hospitality jobs, sometimes we have to still feign that we’re making the attempt because entitled people hear, “No” and interpret that as “I can, but I won’t” and make a scene which will disturb more people, instead of taking it as what it means, which is, “The answer is No, as a rule.”

I don’t care if someone pretends they didn’t know as long as when I walk up and say, “Hey, that’s my seat,” the convo ends with “whoops,” and the move even if it’s obvious they knew they were wrong. I’m annoyed when they either have an excuse or insist that somehow I’m wrong when we both have proof in our hands of where we go!!!

It also makes me feel for the people who are too passive to argue the point because the other passenger is so rude and pushy. I booked a flight with my brother who is weird about flying and always needs the window. We weren’t sitting together, my seat was behind him and honestly neither of us cared about asking if anyone would swap. But upon boarding there was a woman already in his seat and when he walked up she just stared at him with an attitude like she expected him to keep walking. My brother is super non-confrontational and stood there confused and frozen. I walked up and asked what was going on, he vaguely glanced at the lady, and she said, “Oh, I really hate the aisle and prefer the window. He can have my seat though,” and she pointed to the opposite row. I said no, he needs the window, we chose on purpose. She insisted that her seat was “right there” as if it’s close enough to the window it wasn’t a big deal 🙄 My brother began to shrug and mumble he can take her seat, whatever, but I said no. An attendant walked up since we were blocking the way and when she asked if everything was all right, I said super brightly, “Oh yeah, she’s just in his seat,” and I looked at the lady with a big smile like “Checkmate, bitch. Move!” The attendant looked at my brothers boarding pass and told the woman the flight is full and she must go get assigned spot. She was clearly annoyed but didn’t argue.

The best bit was once my brother was settled and I started going to my seat, the person who was to be seated next to my brother asked me if I wanted to sit there instead to be with him. I said sure as long as he didn’t mind and referenced my seat behind. It turned out the person he was traveling with was seated in the next aisle across from my window seat. There was a lone traveler in the aisle seat that would have been next to me who was also willing to swap once he noticed what was going on. So in the end, I sat in the aisle seat next to my brother, the person offering to swap with me got my seat with their friend seated next to them, and the woman who started it all sat fuming that someone else got my window seat and she was still stuck in the aisle.

It would have been hilarious if Sookie kept trying to get him to have the vasectomy and it kept slipping his mind, like missing scheduled appointments, and then Sookie gets pregnant and gets angry with him for not following through, but also gets mad at herself for not using birth control knowing full well he kept missing said appointments. Even better if Sookie was going to drive him to one appointment to be sure he goes, only for HER to mess it up that time. The show always has ongoing gags that run for a few episodes. That would have been just silly enough but not too silly to be out of the shows realm of possibility.

If I could pick any seat I’d choose to sit next to Jess because he’d either be silent or perhaps we’d strike up a neat convo about books.

But here probably seat 3, April would probably leave me alone, or be a fun kid to have around and talk nerd stuff with, plus she and I could gossip about whatever insanity would be occurring with Paris and Doyle seating near but not beside each other and the poor soul dealing with being in the middle lol

I agree because the quality of the company was dropping for a while and I’m of the opinion it’s the fault of leadership not being held accountable, which means it is to the detriment of a company to have HR representatives who encourage poor behavior. In any work environment it’s always about the culture cultivated, that’s how humans are, they follow the cues from others. So if people in charge, or in OPs case, the employees don’t care about their behavior, and the people being reported to in HR also don’t care, that apathy trickles into everything and can ultimately cost money, which is really what the companies care about in the first place. It’s a mistake for businesses to not consider the social factors of how profits are made beyond what customers buy.

Also, who tf was the daughter living with before that she moved in with them 2 months ago?