I stick the bin in my oven. I'm in Arizona, so my oven hardly gets used anyway.

School came easy, I hardly studied, and I was really good at taking tests.

College required some studying, but I did a lot of cramming and every paper was written the night before unless we were forced to turn in work as we went.

I always hated group projects and presentations, because the pace was always set by the slowest or least intelligent in the group.

In my career I obtained a ton of professional licenses and designations because I like to learn and test taking comes easy to me.

I've never felt like I lived up to my potential, because I can't take that knowledge and execute effectively. I'm really good at brainstorming ideas and solutions, and I can find the errors in everyone else's work. I've learned to mask that, though, as it can come across as being pedantic.

Can you do some gig work on the side to help you build up an emergency fund? It might also help you find work that you are better suited for.

The first one came on like a panic attack and I felt like I was going to pass out. Skin was very flushed, I was nauseated, and my peripheral vision was cloudy, like it was closing in on me.

I was out with friends for Margarita night, and I had them flank me until the waitress brought our check and we could leave. After leaving the restaurant and walking around the parking lot I was fine again.

I didn't know it was a hot flash until a couple of months later when I realized my periods had stopped and a few of my friends said theirs started like that, too.

I've only had a few that were that bad. The first was in Nov 2021. Then pretty much all of Jan and Feb, I hot flashed on and off all day and night. I tried a few OTC supplements and had mixed results. I've been on HRT since Nov 2022 and things are much better now. I still have night sweats sometimes.

I'm the same way with work. I would always hear, "How did you notice that?", and I was like "HOW TF DID YOU NOT?"

Many years ago, I kept warning our IT department that an implementation was going to blow things up in our department, because we had a different software load than other departments -- a specialized phone software that was new to the company (this was 1997 and pretty cutting edge at the time). They kept assuring me everything had been tested thoroughly. I was literally begging them to take a look at my concerns, and nobody listened. As luck would have it, I was selected to serve on a court jury that started on implementation day and would last two weeks.

Implementation day our entire department was dead in the water. 100 employees literally could not do their jobs. It took almost the entire two weeks to resolve and issue the software fix that would work with our phone software.

I left that department for a new position shortly after that.

But to be eligible for the 5 years you have to sign up for MQP, do their CE and pay fees every year. I've been out for 3 years so far.

Wow, so you've been doing the CE and paying CFP renewal every year? I've been out of the industry for 3 years, and haven't decided if I want to maintain it or not.

I would suggest to join this local non-profit group that distributes meals directly to the homeless. https://www.facebook.com/share/8PM69xig8QQjEdUV/?mibextid=C7JYKg

How robust is your financial plan? Does it factor in that you will no longer be paying principal and interest on the two homes once your mortgages are paid off? Does it factor in social security and any other income streams you will have in retirement? Do you always plan on having two homes or will you be selling your primary and moving to your vacation home when you retire? Does your financial plan factor this in?

The reason I'm getting so detailed is that your financial plan is only as good as the data that was input. Think about your lifestyle now vs in retirement. What will change? A lot of expenses will decrease, but some, such as travel, may increase. Healthcare between retirement and Medicare is a really big expense for some, and others qualify for subsidized ACA or even expanded Medicaid coverage.

(CFP here; I'm glad to hear you are working with an advisor, but as I used to tell my clients, the plan is only as good as the assumptions we've made and your adherence to those assumptions. I had clients who were able to live comfortably on social security alone, and their retirement assets were for legacy or LTC purposes. I also had clients I had to coach about their overspending versus their financial plan. A check-in with your advisor would be a good idea. Review your job prospects and potential income, and ask her a few 'what if' questions).

I'm really glad to have found safety in the ADHD bubble and in other neurodivergent social media groups.

Yesterday a 19 y.o. made a post on Nextdoor about her struggle with keeping her apartment clean and her frustrations with her messy boyfriend. I could tell by the post that both were likely neurodivergent. She asked if anyone was willing to come help her clean for free or cheap.

So much hate trying to disguise itself as comedy was in the responses. I was one of just a few to actually respond with helpful suggestions. There are YouTube body doubling videos, Facebook groups where you can find someone to body double with, and online resources to help you learn to clean. It never even occurred to me that most people don't struggle with cleaning or other everyday tasks.

OMG oatmeal! My morning go-to, but this morning I used the old-fashioned kind instead of the quick oats kind, and ended up with a mess in the microwave.

2 minutes is perfect for the quick oats. 2 minutes undercooks the old-fashioned, but somehow also causes half the bowl to spill over the edges. I had forgotten I used to use a bigger bowl for the old fashioned. 🤦‍♀️

1. Cleaning the shower. (why do we need to clean something that gets soapy water ran over it everyday????)
2. Mopping the floors. Too many supplies involved and the back and forth motion makes my body hurt.
3. Taking the trash to the dumpster. Mine is in the alley and involves me dodging dog poop landmines and opening a padlock on my back gate, plus the mad staredown I get from the dogs because I didn't invite them outside.
4. Folding the fu#%ing fitted sheet. I used to only keep one set of sheets because I hate folding them, but sometimes it's an emergency sheet change, so I have extras now.
5. Hand wash dishes. Thank goodness I have a dishwasher, but those few things that can't go in there hide out in the oven for months until I have the spoons to wash them.
6. Ironing. I still own an iron and board, but I bet it's been 20 years since I've used them. If something needs ironed, it will never get worn.
7. Pulling the damn weeds from my desert landscaping front yard. I really don't like spraying the poison, but I think I need to this year, after the group effort it took to clear it recently.

Children to support? What ages? In what way do you intend to support them after age 18?

I also agree with the others' questions. We need more info. What is your area's COL? What is your housing situation? Own outright? Mortgage? Rent?

Is your husband expecting you to continue contributing $90K or do you really need this amount to live?

You CAN set up Automatic Investment Plan (AIP) into SWPPX directly from your bank account, but you first have to open up the position with at least $1 from your brokerage account. One you have funded it or have an open order, then you can set up AIP.

My mother's Medicaid lien was greater than her home value, so we had no incentive to do any improvements before the sale. It was sold at a public auction to a cousin. It was not considered a conflict of interest that a family member bought it, because it was done at an advertised public auction. This was in Missouri about 15 years ago.

Yes to floss picks. I use mine while lying in bed.

Let's look at this from a different angle. What can you do to increase the income from your primary employment? Are you being paid a competitive salary? Do you feel like you're being paid what you're worth? Maybe start applying for other jobs to get a feel for what you should be making.

A family member did this and received an offer for 50% more pay. When she talked to her boss to put her notice in, he matched the offer.

If you're being paid a fair salary, what can you do to work your way to a better paying position?

They will probably ask about your availability to work. The more flexible and available you are, the more likely you are to be hired.

Go in well-groomed, dressed nice/conservative, with closed-toe shoes. Don't forget to smile.

Once you're hired, show up on time for every shift, do what you're told, work hard, and don't complain. 🙂

I have clocks in every room, and multiple Echo devices that I use throughout the day to set timers and reminders.

Open a brokerage account and put it in a money market fund. It's easy to open an account online. I prefer Schwab, but Fidelity and Vanguard are good, too.

You can link your other bank account to your brokerage account and transfer your other cash, too. You shouldn't have cash earning less than 5% in this current rate environment.

If you find yourself with excess cash when you file your taxes next year, fully fund a Roth IRA and get it invested in a low cost index fund.

I don't know why your parents are opposed to IRAs, but you should learn about them and investing in general if you want to FIRE.

I only use Time Dry on my dryer, which runs for the exact amount of time I choose. Otherwise, the timer is just an estimate and when it decides to stop my clothes are still damp.

Generation Skipping Transfer Tax (GSTT) may come into play, depending on what the estate tax exemption is when your parents pass (it's scheduled to revert back to $5M in 2026 if Congress takes no action).

Also consider how each of the grandchildren needs to hold their inherited assets so they are protected from future lawsuits, divorces, or spendthrift behaviors (consult a lawyer regarding holding in trusts).

If I didn't know better, I'd swear I wrote this post.

When I was still working (quit July 2021 due to burnout), my doctor put me on Adderall. It totally helped me clean my house and get my shit together at home, but unfortunately it didn't help me with the issues I was having at work (brain fog, poor short term memory, lack of focus in between my client calls). It also made me very horny. Being single, late 40s, and surrounded by mostly men in their early 30s while I was at work certainly didn't help with my focus, so I stopped taking it after about 6 weeks.

I then tried Straterra, but I had debilitating menstrual cramps with that, so I stopped before it really had time to take effect.

I'm currently not medicated for ADHD and have been working with a therapist to try to implement better routines.

I have two pit bulls. Total love bugs to me but very protective.

Not me....

I quit my job in July 2021, a month before I turned 50. I had been having terrible brain fog for a couple of years and just couldn't keep up with the demands of my career. Initially I planned to take a six month career break, and I was going to focus on improving my health. It started out great, with trips to see family, going to the gym every day, etc. Then debilitating pain started in October and menopause in November.

Now I'm on HRT, meds for fibromyalgia, and I'm in therapy, but I've gained 60+ pounds and I'm feeling like I have no life purpose. I've been divorced since 2000, my kids are launched and live in different cities now, and I've pretty much become a recluse.

Every night when I go to bed I tell myself and my dogs that "tomorrow will be a better day".