I've leaned that for NTs this is not a problem but actually part of their little adventure... Great little party game. everyone gets included and can say something, they get to communicate and "figure something out" together. It's a happy little team meeting brainstorming ideas together. Bonding moment and all...

For ND brains, this isn't fun, this is stressful and unnecessary. We're all for problem solving if there's an actual problem - meaning there isn't an easy solution available yet but something to actually think about. But wasting brainpower to something so stupid isn't logical to us. We want to get to the actual activity not bond over fake problem solving...

I learned to tune out when that happens, because actually following that kind of conversation hurts me

Also, the more I learned about parenting the more I realized it's not for me. I feel like I did more research than most people who want children ever did and the amount of things you have to DO... they're pretty time consuming, expensive and exhausting...

Funnily enough whenever I used to suggest something to a parent about their parenting I got hit with the "you're not a parent, you don't have them full time, you don't know what that's like". But when I get along with a kid for a couple of hours and I use that line myself I get a "but when they're your own you WANT them around all the time"... quite the double standard

I don't really think I would be tbh. If I had a child I would do my best to raise it well of course and be a good mother in that sense. I wouldn't neglect it of course, I'd make sure it gets a good education and opportunities.

But I wouldn't WANT to do it and I'm absolutely convinced a child feels the "not wanted" part because even though I'd never utter those words it would be absolutely true and that imho makes me a bad mother. The kid would be a chore...

Sounds harsh, I know, but that's how I feel about that. And especially since I really know a lot about raising children and the impact emotional distance can have, I know I wouldn't be able to do that well.

Es interessiert wirklich absolut keine Sau, wie oft du in die Veranstaltung irgendeines Profs gehst. Was dir am ehesten passieren kann, ist, dass der Prof dich irgendwann wieder erkennt und sich mit dir unterhält. Mehr nicht. Uni is nicht Schule. Profs freuen sich, wenn sie in diesem großen Haufen irgendwann ein paar Gesichter kennen. Das sind nämlich ganz normale Menschen ;-)

This is something I'm actually considering. I'm just not sure yet if I might bite myself even more if I feel it less and make it worse somehow. Main reason why I hardly ever take painkillers in general... but maybe with a very small dose...?

Well... I know I'll have to manage it... but it's frustrating to hear "you'll adjust in a couple of days" when I know perfectly that I won't. Nothing about what I can do against that dry mouth for example...

They've been talking about "a couple of days" and yeah... I have a feeling it will take me the whole treatment to get used to it

It's actually the things itself... my mouth is fully closed. It affects the ability to produce saliva somehow. This is probably the thing that bothers me most.

I hate it when people use my name if it isn't strictly necessary. As in - I'm fine if I need to be addressed in some way to get my attention but as soon as we're in conversation, pleaaaase stop using my name.

(I have a special place of hate for the person that started teaching people to use peoples names often because that makes them feel seen or some sh*t like that... so many people do that now, end every other sentence with the name und stuff... drives me INSANE)

I got the "but you'd be such a good mother" a couple times and I'm like "ah, nope, nope I wouldn't"

There's a couple kids I get along with because I happen to like them as a person and enjoy their company as people that happen to be quite young. And I happen to be interested in let's say the "theory of raising children" and I read books about that... the psychology is fascinating to me

But honestly I would be such a bad mom...

Willst jetzt nicht hören, ich weiß. Aber die Situation ist folgende:

Solange du Student bist ist die Sozialleistung auf die du potentiell Anspruch hast das BaföG. Durch diesen Anspruch sind alle anderen Sozialleistungen erst mal gesperrt. Wenn du keinen Anspruch auf BaföG hattest bedeutet das, du hattest entweder Eltern die Leistungspflichtig waren oder zu viel Vermögen. Kein BaföG bekommen bedeutet dementsprechend auch, kein Anspruch auf andere Sozialleistung und gerade NICHT "statt dessen Anspruch auf eine andere Sozialleistung". Hast du denn BaföG beantragt und es wurde abgelehnt oder hast du nie beantragt?

Never understood why, but I had to create a routine out of everything and even after YEARS I kinda have to remind myself, what comes next. I'm turning 40 in a couple of weeks and I still have to actively remind myself to brush my teeth every day. I've had my cats for more than 10 years and every morning when I feed them I have my coffee. But I remind myself... it's not a passive habit, it's an active routine that I can and will forget regularly (not the feeding... the coffee)... Without routines, everything falls apart at once. And I have to actively plan everything I do each day, nothing's automatic...

Regarding your question. I don't think you can explain it to them. it's as foreign to them as it is to you/us how they just form a habit... different operating system.

Es gibt zwei Kategorie Menschen, die diese Jobs machen wollen

Die eine Gruppe sind die Menschen, die das hohe Gehalt sehen, die sich denken 3-4 Jahre halt ich das durch, danach mach ich was entspannteres und hab ordentlich Geld auf der hohen Kante. Diese Menschen ziehen entweder rechtzeitig nach nem Jahr die Reißleine (bzw. sie wird ihnen gezogen) oder sie sind nach den 3-4 Jahren mental kaputt.

Die andere Gruppe sind die Menschen, die für diesen Job gemacht sind. Die genau das wollen das ständige Reisen, der Stress, die Herausforderungen, das Risiko. Für die IST genau das der Reiz und das Gehalt ein netter Nebeneffekt. Die bei deiner Beschreibung einer Arbeitswoche Gänsehaut kriegen und fragen "wann darf ich loslegen".

Wenn man nicht zu Gruppe 2 gehört, sollte man diesen Job nicht machen. Klingt super auf dem Papier und in der Theorie, dann am Ende schön viel Geld zu haben. Aber wenn man für sowas nicht lebt, macht einen dieser Job mental kaputt und du bist danach für nichts mehr zu gebrauchen.

I feel ya... just the other way round. Every guy I meet that's halfway decent wants kids...

Sudoku... but only with variants these days. The normal Sudoku bore me. But there are so many variants out there these days. I can solve those for hours. I also kinda love sorting through my stuff and decluttering...

No, I wouldn't. I'm not perfectly comfortable with everything, far from it some days. But autism isn't like a headache that goes away and everything else stays the same. The mind works differently. The "cure" would actually mean working with a whole new operating system and who knows what it would change that I actually like about myself...

This is actually a very important and often overlooked point. If someone has no community ties, there's usually a reason. The amount of people you have around and the closeness is different of course but what it comes down to is - are there people that willingly and regularly spend time with the person you're dating and does he view them kindly

Well... fairness play a big role in Snooker you know... like, owning up to your own mistakes is a thing ;-)

I could write a 30-page-list of reasons why I am childfree, starting from everything to do with pregnancy, labor, actual child delivery, diapers and then follow up with all the challenges of raising children...

But what it comes down to is: I am not a mother. There is nothing in me that has any desire to be one. No real reason. It just is.

You see, those reasons... none of them would matter, if I really wanted a child. They'd just be an inconvenience that comes with the "reward" of having a child but no reason against. But since deep down I don't want the "reward", those aren't just inconveniences but an added burden.

(It's kinda like this: I hate walks in the rain and especially in the morning when it's not only raining but dark and cold and windy. And I might list that as a reason to not get a dog. But if I really wanted a dog, I'd still hate those walks but they wouldn't matter so much because they're just something that comes with having a dog.)

Actually I think starting ballet was the best thing I could have done for my body. Strength, Flexibility, Stamina, a much better understanding about how my muscles work, better posture...

the days where ballet automatically meant damaging your body are long gone. In a casual setting it's less injury prone than most sports because you're way more intentional and controlled and even in a professional setting where of course it's plenty demanding, there is a lot more emphasis on physical health these days.

Insane...

That's just sick actually... but as you said, the system is rigged. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have all those benefits either, if they weren't the actual law. The employer is not allowed to go against it and any contract clauses that try and do that are void. as I am understanding it, in the US everything is decided by the employer?

NDA

ohne angemessene Entschuldigung und Erläuterungen, die deutlich machen, dass er erkannt hat, dass er echt sch** gebaut hat, könnte er sich für die nächsten 3 Jahre selbst um seine Befriedigung kümmern wenns nach mir geht. Das ist schon echt unverschämt und sowas von kein "Spaß"

Nowhere. This was an I-Statement. An information about myself and a boundary I have. Stating that early on in case our conversation continues, although at this point I can't see it going anywhere.