Submissions by ChildOfMamon | Viewddit

Two steps backTW What Worked For You?

I feel like I'm never going to stop being so stupid. He shows me the most obvious violations of basic rights and yet I still go back. Like seriously??? Why can't I just get a grip? I despise him. I'm away from the situation. I thought I moved on. Kept him at arms length.

But why do I keep going back to his house just to hope he's changed just to realize I'm even more blind than yesterday?

Like today, we had a serious conversation on why it's hurtful to hear someone while not actively listening to them/taking them seriously (IE if I say I'm going bowling, wanna come? And you say yes I love bowling, and then I just up and leave without you, that would be hurtful). Like he could grasp when I gave him an example in which someone was doing that to him, but when it came around to other people, his excuse was "oh are you serious? I didn't know we had to do that. My mom never taught me that" like..... what the actual fuck? ????? Huh? You two live in the same house you want me to go ask her that rn? Nah fuck that, fuck you, I'm out, you keep your bad juju fucking Satan spawn.

Genuinely how do I keep walking my stupid ass into this shit, it's just utterly baffling at this point. I know it's bad for me, and I do it anyway, why?

domesticviolence

8

2d

2

23d

I miss my fur babies so bad:(

Came home from college last night and woke up to this animal laying on my chest, sweetly gazing at me

aww

1

3mo

They treated me and continue to treat me as if I'm stupid or naïeve. There were times where I was treated like a criminal, but it was more so them manipulating the fact that I was young and didn't know everything that they knew.

Did everyone treat you like a criminal growing up?

CPTSD

1

3mo

The fact that me, my therapist and my boss all think it's best for me to resign due to my mental health, but that's not possible for me. Last month I've made too much from my job to qualify for Ontario Works this coming month. Employment isn't exactly an option, as I've been off for nearly 2 weeks because I'm not well enough to even work part time at this job. So I need to miraculously find a stream of income before April 1st so that I don't go homeless or kms before then 😀

What's bothering you today?

CPTSD

1

3mo

I hope so. Unfortunately though I doubt that will be the case. My younger brother is still figuring things out for himself

Are you the final outcome of multi generational trauma?

CPTSD

1

3mo

Not good

How does cptsd feel?

CPTSD

1

3mo

Very very slowly and also very poorly. I recently moved into my first place and it's been a bit of a struggle. The more I do IFS work while I'm at home though, the easier I find it is to manage. Also a lot of breathwork. For that I recommend an app Othership, it's helped me a lot. Not entirely free, but there are some free sessions on there. It pairs different breathing patterns with music and a guide to keep you on track.

Other than that I just try not to think about it😅

Besides medication, how is everyone managing their depression?

CPTSD

7

3mo

Omfl this is the funniest shit I've ever seen but it's so frustrating 😂💀💀

I'm genuinely confused

CPTSDmemes

3

3mo

How can you communicate it without collapsing at just the idea of telling them?

I'm fundamentally exhausted of people

CPTSD

1

4mo

Damn, I wish I had a copy of this for when my mom pulled the same shit immediately after she witnessed it (in her own house)

My sister is arguing with our grandma over text so we're playing r*pe apologist Bingo (I lost by one point)

CPTSDmemes

Just moved into my first apartmentNeed a pep talk

I just moved into my first apartment and I'm pretty excited, but also nervous as all hell. What are some things I should look out for? Or like some tips for any new apartment? I don't even know what I should be asking or doing/not doing frankly. I've never really had a good source of Dad, or family I guess really, so uh.. yeah any and all comments are appreciated... Thank you:)

Edit: thank you for all of the support and advice. I never would have thought of most of these things, I really appreciate your help. You rock dad:')

3

5mo

3

6mo

I mean, I'm not a super great artist either, but the concept is amazing! Do you mind if I give it a try? I'm not sure when I'd get around to drawing it just yet (I have lots of stuff going on rn sadly) but once it's finished I would post it here, if that's something you'd be okay with? I don't like stealing other people's art or ideas/concepts, that's why I ask:)

Idea I had for femboy guro.

guro

1

6mo

Jim, Jorge and Jerald

Names?

plushies

1

6mo

Let me tell you about my first tattoo. I'm 21 and got it a little while ago and I'm absolutely loving it. It's just a small line work pumpkin with a dog on it. The meaning behind it is that it came from a webcomic I read when I was a bit younger. That comic was my only way to get my parents to stop harassing me because I was "busy reading" (I don't have a great relationship with my parents). The pumpkin is a small reference to not just the comic but the studio that developed the comic as well, and what that entire experience meant to me. The pumpkin is something from Homestuck. And I know there are many different opinions on that whole thing, but to me, it meant a lot. And so does my tattoo. So ye who poke fun at it can all shove it, it ain't on yer body.

My other tattoo is just one that I sketched up because I was too nervous to "trust the process" unfortunately. I think he's cute, it's a lil fluffy goat, that's all. I love it just as much the one with a meaning lol

Do what's gonna make you happy homie, you do you :)

[deleted by user]

TattooDesigns

1

6mo

Not an extreme sado/mas but I do enjoy the artworks. I find this sub is a great place to find inspiration for guro artworks. It's been the base of my artworks for many years and I'm thankful to have found this sub. Personally, I've always found this kind of stuff very intriguing since about the age of 9 but it's not something I'd say I get off to. Can confirm it is a bit of a turn on though, however it's not something I can see myself doing in reality🤷‍♀️

So we can probably all agree we’re extreme sadists or masochists, right?

guro

2

6mo

Probably a Sam or Trent

[deleted by user]

picrew

2

6mo

Anmoretta

What name do I look like? :3 (I'm a non binary femboy btw)

picrew

1

6mo

Chonkus

I just received this little guy today! Any name ideas?

plushies

First hookup...CW

So I've been a comphet my whole life (yeah I know) and only VERY recently have I become comfortable enough with myself to explore my sexuality.

I went onto an OLD site and found someone who seemed interested in me. We chatted a while, and she was super nice and understanding. We eventually got to the point where we were going to make plans to hook up. During all of the "dirty talk" she asked about my first time or if I had traumas, which was a very uncomfortable topic for me. I told her it was less than consensual and I didn't really want to go on further. She then proceeded to laugh and tell me "mine was worse", and gave me a story about just a generally unsatisfying experience (as most first times are, not actually a SA). Then continuing to chat about how her first time was "worse" because she didn't finish and didn't even feel anything and was just generally making jokes about her own experiences, as well as belittling my own. I haven't really spoken to her since..

I don't know how to feel about any of it to be honest. She specifically went out of her way to ask if I had any traumas or SA's so as to not have anything triggering happen during the hookup, meanwhile her reaction was just laughing, judging and then trying to one up a very traumatic experience with a genuine 'my first time was unpleasurable' story (yes, she told me they had both consented prior to and during)... I already had the super irrational fear of "girls are mean and you're not cut out to be gay" (which I know is just from my parents' fearmongering throughout my lifetime), but now I feel worse somehow.

I know not everyone is mean spirited and that there isn't a checklist on 'are you meant to be a lesbian'. And I know that this was also only the first girl I went to hook up with, but it reinforces that irrational fear that I'm trying so desperately to just ignore. Which I feel ridiculous for even having. Feel free to judge me for it, I know, it's really stupid.

At this point I just kinda feel like I'm not meant to experience real romantic or sexual attraction. Guys mistreat me and are gross, and my first experience being comfortable enough with a girl, she turned out to behave even worse than some of the guys I've experienced.

Is this just what dating is like? I've talked to other girls before but I'm never really their type, or they hear that I've never been in a relationship with another girl before and they start running. I'm nervous to try again honestly... I feel like there's something wrong with me lowkey. And if there is, nobody has brought it to my attention, otherwise I would happily put in the work

4

6mo

1

7mo

If you don't like young kids being young kids, don't take the kids. That means both. If you favour one young kid's behavior over the other's then that is STILL favouritism. Even though an older and more mature crowd might understand why you would favour the behavior of the older child, the young child being neglected by the rest of the family while they go on a Disney trip without her, might feel a little bit uhh, unfavourable. Or left out. Or like they're being punished.

If you want an adult trip, take an adult trip, don't pick your favorite of the two (even though you may love them both), leave them both behind, enjoy the trip you planned, and then plan something for the whole family to enjoy.

Or just take them both with you and acknowledge the fact that children's temperaments are a part of them being a child and handling it in an array of scenarios is just a part of being a parent/guardian.

AITA for suggesting we leave my 4yo niece home when we go to Disney World?

AmItheAsshole