She seems so comfortable with you already. What a sweet girl!

Perhaps he wants you to leave him. I hate to say it, but studies show ~20% of men divorce or separate when their partners are going through cancer. If he makes you leave him instead of the other way around, he can rationalize to himself that he isn't the bad guy

Honestly, this stands out. He doesn't have to be cheating. The fact is he's perfectly comfortable placing his friendship with this woman above his wife and his marriage is enough reason to pick option 3.

She should call his bluff, see a lawyer, and get divorce papers drawn up. If he is okay getting a divorce rather than setting some appropriate boundaries with his new "friend," then he's not committed to the marriage anyway.

I can almost certainly assure you that part of the reason he wants you back is that he sees you happy in another long-term relationship.

One year might not compare to 10 years, but this will always be the case until you build that history with someone new.

Personally, I feel like this is the way. You don't win him back by doing more of what you have been doing. He needs to see what he will be losing instead. So take away all of the regular "wife" privileges that he enjoys. Cooking for him, cleaning up after him, sleeping with him... whatever it be. Stop sleeping in the same bed as him. No more signs of affection such as kissing or hugging. He wants to end the marriage, so show him what that will look like starting today.

It's possible he'll wake up and realize he's making a mistake, but if not, you have already allowed yourself to get some emotional distance, which will help you in the long run.

ETA: if he does happen to change his mind, don't let him sweep everything under the rug. Make them work to repair the marriage and get some couples counseling!

Sad but true. I think an alarming number also believe that it can't be rape if the victim doesn't report it to the authorities. I see that kind of argument on Reddit all the time. And still too many also believe that if a man is not convicted of a rape charge, he's innocent.

I'm so glad to hear that you have people in your life who will help and support you, and that you have somewhere to go if you need to!

Aside from the fact that your husband did this, I would have a hard time forgiving his timing in his confession. You're already going through a stressful time with cancer, and he chose to add to that stress? Because he supposedly felt guilty about it... but obviously didn't feel guilty enough to not do it several times?

In my opinion, if he really felt bad, he should have kept his mouth shut, not cheated anymore, and supported you in the BEST possible way through your treatment. Then, once you were in remission, come clean and let you decide how to proceed. I'm sure there are some people who would disagree with me and want to know right away

Thanks for pointing where to find it. I screenshotted it and highlighted that part to send to other people. As someone with food allergies and a daughter with them, this is frightening. However, it's just one more horrifying plan in a whole list of horrifying plans put forth in that document.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. As if you needed him to make this kind of confession to you when you're fighting cancer...? Wtf.

I wouldn't believe him that it just randomly happened, as he told you. That sort of thing doesn't happen at legitimate massage places. They can lose their license. He had to have gone looking for it specifically.

I hope you have some good people in your life to support you getting through this.

Almost every woman I've known who said they generally didn't like other women because they were "too much drama" were, in fact, drama queens themselves.

Yeah, my ex was emotionally abusive and used similar lines. Me making very reasonable requests was met with "You just don't want me to be happy!" I did not throw coffee at his head, but I did nope the fuck out of that relationship.

OP should recognize this behavior as the big red flag that it is. He's being emotionally manipulative to make her feel guilty that she wanted him to cut off what was clearly a budding emotional affair.

There is a transgender lawyer who has previously run for office and has a website that keeps track of the data here:

https://www.whoismakingnews.com/

She has different category breakdowns and maps, and when politics are included, Republicans make up 67.4% of the pie vs. 13.5% Democrat.

That's awful. My stepdad was also abusive, and books were an escape for me as well. I would have been (even more) miserable if he had gotten rid of my books.

My stepdad did this! I didn't clean my room up well enough, so he gathered up all my toys, took them away, and I never saw them again. I was really devastated because some of them had been given to me by a relative who was no longer in my life.

OP, your fiance did NOT do this out of good intentions. This was about exerting control. Unfortunately, it looks like now that you're pregnant, he feels safe to let his mask down.

ETA: He said he did it because it's time for you to grow up, but if he felt like you were too immature, maybe he shouldn't have been dating and impregnating someone 15 years his junior. He's a creep.

Your husband is an abuser.

It's common for abusers to weaponize therapy in order to further abuse their victims. Assuming he even saw a therapist, it's likely he manipulated the therapist into telling him what he wanted to hear by giving a very skewed version of events.

I'll be honest, I would have divorced him over the silent treatment alone. Add that he sexually assaults you and has filmed you without your consent, and it's quite clear you are in an unhealthy relationship.

You've been together for so long it's probably like being the frog in the pot of water that sits there as the temperature slowly goes up until it's boiling, not realizing it's getting cooked. But it seems that you do have some realization of that now, so the question is what will you do about it...?

Are you in the US? If he sponsored you to come here and signed the documentation, he's on the hook to support you for 10 years, even if you divorce. That may be why he's trying to encourage you to go back to the Philippines.

As a mother, this literally made me sick to my stomach. "One thing led to another?" What a crock of shit. Just the thought of having sex with someone who has been intimate with your daughter or son should be disgusting. To actually go through with doing it?

And then to let OP take care of her sibling, not knowing this... the level of betrayal is diabolical.

Right? The jowls... ugh. I hate it.

But for some reason, my tits still look pretty great, so there's that, I guess.

Frankly: No, it's not.

When someone's words and actions don't match, pay attention to their actions. He's telling you he's sorry and will make it up to you, blah blah blah, but his actions are telling you quite the opposite. He doesn't care enough to make the effort.

People will treat you as well as you allow them to. He's learned that he can get away with the bare minimum. The person you're in love with was a facade, and the person you're left with now is who he really is. If he treated you like this when you first went out, would you have stayed...? Don't let a sunk cost fallacy keep you in a bad relationship.

They do wear off. I got it in my 20s before they had the Tdap (adult) booster. It was horrible. I had to have physical therapy after it. You best believe I get my boosters!

Having the actual disease does not provide permanent immunity. Immunity wanes after both infection and vaccination. So OP's mother insisting that she can't get it because she had it as a child is absolutely wrong.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, OP.

You have done all of this because of your love for them, but where is their love for you? If they truly cared about you, they wouldn't let you shoulder this burden alone. It sounds like they have gotten way too complacent, and at this point, you are enabling them not to grow up and take responsibility for themselves. Put your foot down--they need to get jobs by the deadline you choose, or they're out.

Don't let them play the "family helps family" card to manipulate you. You can turn that right back around on them and let them know that if they saw you as family, then they would be helping you as well.

And your mom could be my mom. Also visited him in jail. In my case, though, she never divorced and is still with him!

This and Armageddon have been on repeat in my house.

It does! I've seen them a couple of times on different tours, and they closed both shows with a "neverending" version of it. It was a lot of fun.

I knew 2 people who were adopted by religious families. One was molested by the father, who was high up in the church. No one believed her, and he wasn't punished (no surprise there). The other was in an abusive family who would not allow him to have a door on his room because he might masturbate. I'm sure there are plenty of lovely families, but sadly, there are also many like these.