m.jpost.com/breaking-news/article-736032
Belarus' Lukashenko calls for immediate ceasefire in Ukraine-Russia War
Russia/Ukraine"Don't you dare fight back or else we won't be able to have a civil conversation about you not fighting back"
"How can we negotiate about your stolen lands, if you liberate them, HHRRrrrmmmmm?"
Hmm. You complain about war yet you fight in it. Curious. I am very intelligent.
"Fake negotions to buy us time before you fight back are off the table once you've started fighting back"
How much money should I donate to ukraine to end the russian invasion and return crimea to ukraine?
Billions
Sigh. Guess I should whip out the old wallet and make it happen
Easy there Elon, save some for buying Truth Social and 4chan.
When neck-beards and boomers with assault rifles unite: "Listen up females, all your genitals are belong to us"
They're like Ferengi, but less attractive.
And not good at math either (or readin, or basic logic, or comprehension, or...)
Oh yeah. The neckbeards always insist "communism is bad", but the moment it's about women, they're always, "seize the means of reproduction." Pick a lane, people!
Sir they appear to be fighting back
But that's what I specifically told them NOT to do!
Hell, that’s been the theme of the entire war.
Ukraine: Gets bombed, raped, and murdered
Russia: Expresses indignation that Ukraine dare to fight back
Russian government and military, get wrecked!
It's like the scene in Life of Brian where the old fellow was sentenced to be stoned to death for saying 'jehovah' and as he was explaining himself said 'jehovah' again. The officer that sentenced him to death told him he was only making it worse for himself.
The man, Luka, is literally a mockery of himself.
“Worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah! Jehovah!” (Dancing and kicking dust with his sandals)
Then the guard says something like "if you say Jehova once more..." and gets stoned to death.
Best film ever.
Easily my favorite monty python. Holy grail gets all the love these days, everyone’s sleeping on life of Brian.
To be fair, Holy Grail is really good too
It is really good but life of Brian is great. :) so many great lines.
Wolf Nipple Chips! Get'em while their hot, they're delicious!
Blessed are the cheese makers.
I think he means all manufacturers of dairy products.
Problem is, Holy Grail only offended mostly British traditions while Life Of Brian manages to offend a wide swath of an international (and even intergalactic!) audience. Therein, though, lies its greatness.
"Look! Nobody is to throw another stone until I blow this whistle, even if and let me make this perfectly clear, even if they say Jehovah! "
Are there any women here?
Take him away! I want him fighting wild wabid wussians in a week!
Didn’t they end up stoning the officer? Because when he told the guy to stop saying ‘Jehova’ he ended up saying it himself.
When I read the headline I thought they were saying this so they wouldn’t be dragged further into this war. But now I see it’s so the depleted Russian army can gather itself or rearm.
Yeah the suggested terms from him for peace talk conditions are that both sides stay on their currently held territory and that Ukraine doesn't get any further weapon supplies from the west. We all know Russia would drag out the "peace talks" to recollect and reorganize, eventually consider the peace talks as failed and then re-engage. Even a "succesfull" peace would only last as long until Russia decides they have regained enough firepower to attack again and take the rest of Ukraine. The best thing for Ukraine is to counter-attack soon while Russia is struggling with having manpower and equipment/ammunition.
There can be no peace, until Russia gets back on their side of the border and Ukraine joins NATO or some other formal defensive pact with the US to ensure they stay there.
Anything else is just a delaying tactic.
Also sets a precedent of “take whatever land you want by force then call for a ceasefire”.
Who knows if and when NATO membership will work out but a Europe defense agreement would work too. Similar to what Finland and Sweden had with England, France, and others.
They know the counter-offensive is coming and they are not ready.
"Please call a cease fire so we can have time to reload and find more meat shields in the prisons."
"The Chinese have promised more weapons, we just need to complete the transfer of land in the East to them first. Yes the war is going great."
China doesn’t want Russia’s land. Governing people is expensive. They want Russia to be a decrepit pariah nation that can’t sell its natural resources to anyone other than them so they can name their price and have impoverished Russia keep doing the work to extract it.
I'm sure they still want Vladivostok back, also known as Hai Shen Wai.
https://cepa.org/article/goodbye-vladivostok-hello-haishenwai/
Eh, they don’t care about ancient territorial claims. They act like they do for show but it’s always about money and power. Ancient grievances from forever ago are just the superficial diplomatic excuses for countries doing what they do when it’s in their national interest. There has to be underlying economic and political benefit.
We’re talking about millions of ethnic Russians, living there now, and no significant resources. It would be a gigantic money pit to say the least. If you just tell all of those people that they are now Chinese citizens and have to go the way of the Uighurs, it’s going to create massive internal dissent and direction with Russia, which is the last thing they need.
Let’s remember that China does have a process for integrating other ethnic groups into China and it’s not pleasant. Think reeducation camps and genocide. The world has taken notice of them doing it to a small ethnic group within their own borders, and they did it anyway because of national interests and to maintain their political claims of territorial integrity.
The only interest in Vladivostok for Russia is as a warm water port and China has no need. They have zero national interest in trying to annex Vladivostok.
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1.2y
I feel bad for the walking Russian corpses that just want to stay home and be left alone.
I mean, citizens. Russian citizens.
It was Sam's first view of a battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it much. He was glad that he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the man's name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil of heart, or what lies or threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would rather have stayed there in peace.
They can always surrender while there and live a much better life than in Russia.
It's because Putin demanded a winter offensive when the Russian army was not capable of doing so. Thus the lives of tens of thousands of conscripted men were thrown away to satiate the immediate demands of a deluded despot. Right now anti-retreat forces are forcing unsupported and poorly equipped conscripts to death.
I really hope the Ukrainian counteroffensive causes Russian lines to collapse like in Kharkov. Reading about these futile grinds just hurts. It is so inhuman. Such a waste of life.
It's because Putin demanded a winter offensive when the Russian army was not capable of doing so.
You’d think of all the people on the planet Russia would know how poorly winter offensives work out.
The took the lesson as Russians win winter offensives, not the defenders win.
Fun fact: The one place in Paris you are always guaranteed to hear tourists speaking Russian is at the Invalides. There are scads of them who come to visit Napoleon's tomb and pose with the giant weapons on display in the museum. They've really leaned into that particular victory.
Russia needs to pause for about 17 years so they can have more babies to throw into the meat grinder.
Less if they keep stealing Ukrainian children.
It's afraid... It's afraid!
lol starship troopers
"Would you like to know more?"
I'm doing my part!
Come on you Apes! YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER?!
I only have one rule 👉 everyone fights 🦾 nobody quits!
"You don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself. You get me?"
War! We're going to war!
I'm doing my part!
Oh, but Russia trying to change the border through sham referendums was not a negotiation ending move?
Lukashenko should tell Putin to withdraw. There's your peace talks. The Belarusian government, like the Russian government, is hereby invited to go fuck itself.
This is the moment we all have been waiting for…..
Double the weapon deliveries to Ukraine 🇺🇦
Strike while the iron is hot
“Strike not while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking”
dont' stop until each and every ukrainian soldier is riding into battle on a roman-style chariot pulled by 6 leopard tanks in a train.
The possibility of russians running back home ass wooped and barefeet is higher...
It would take some times for the germans a while to produce so many Leo´s Hence to find skilled wagon makers/carpenters for the chariots...
But hell i would love to hear a Million Tank engines start up and roar over the plains...
Incredible, lol. Let us have what little we've managed to achieve or we'll be mad at you :(
He warned Russia against launching an anticipated offensive,saying it would make negotiations between Moscow and Kyiv impossible.
How it should have been said prior 24th february, 2022. Lukashenko and Orban can suck my western dick, unless they denounce russia we should not feed them any more EU funds. Let them sort their bullshit out w/o our help. Use the money to rebuild UA meanwhile...
Prior to 2014
What a clown. He might think he's a powerful alpha, but his legacy will be of a fool.
Negotiations? The only acceptable outcome would be full retreat, including their illegal occupation of Crimea.
Nothing else.
Trade offer!
I receive: restoration of 1991 borders.
You receive: we stop killing your dudes
There will be negotiations. Negotiations for how, and how much Russia will pay Ukraine to rebuild.
counter-offensive
This implies someone else (russia) did an offensive in the first place. Interesting.
Translation - Russia needs time to rearm and train more conscripts.
Muscovy knows they are cornered after their latest embarrassment of an offensive where they couldn't even take Bakhmut. Now that they swung and missed they are scared of what Ukraine will do with their turn.
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1.2y
It's a Ukrainian move https://www.insider.com/zelenskyy-backs-petition-change-russias-name-muscovy-2023-3
yoooo....so all the cool shit about Russia in fiction, (idk i think like the Kislevites from Warhammer) are actually more inspured by Ukranian ancestors that modern-day Russia? brooooo...maybe im misinterpreting it wrong but thats cool as shit and makes me that much happier to give em their identity back (tho i was obviously for it before).
Kiev was the capital for a long time, that’s why when Putin said “Kiev would be nothing without Russia” it pissed so many off, it’s the opposite, Russia would be nothing without Kiev
They are the Kievan Rus after all
More like Moscow wouldn't be anything without the Mongols
More like the Mongols wouldn't be anything without the horses.
It's a bit more like if the France (one of the successor states to Rome) declared itself Rome, decried Italy as "Little France" and italians as "little french", all the while Paris rose to be the center of power because they willingly became vassals to the Visgoths until they could overthrow them
This video shows the history of the area of Russia and Ukraine on a map and includes the various changes due to battles. It explained that the Russian empire is originally a viking settlement, but over the hundreds of years of its development it obviously changed and passed hands to make it what it is today.
Identifying ancient nations with modern nations leads to all kinds of thinking errors and otherwise avoidable paradoxes.
Kislevites from Warhammer are a mix of Poland, Russia, Ukraine, Lithuania, and probably some other Eastern European countries.
It indicates that Russia itself, is multiple groups of people, many of whom have no real power.
Because the word Russia has no relation to most of the Federation. It's seat of power is in Muscovy, and they occupy a lot of regions which should really be independent countries, such as Dagestan, Buryatia, Kalmykia, etc.
They stole the word Russia from Kyivan Rus, who's seat of power was Kyiv.
So Ukrainians were the real Russians?
Yes. Originally everyone in that region of Eastern Europe spoke the East Slavic Ruthenian language which became Ukrainian. Then Moscow kept getting invaded by Mongol hordes, and their language started borrowing a bunch of words from Mongolian, Kazakh, and Turkic languages and they started calling the language "Russian" and their land "Russia".
And there’s a whole additional Polish story arc which is also extremely interesting yet confusing.
A lot of early Slavic history is somewhat disputed/murky. But what we do know is extremely fascinating and the foundations of the regions geopolitics in todays day and age were set around a thousand years ago.
Apparently they also borrowed the Mongolian Horde tradition of being complete fucking bastards to other countries.
So Ukrainians were the real Russians?
No, just like the Kazakhs weren't the original Turks just because they are Turkic. The entire group of people used to be called Rus, a duchy united most of those people by conquest and named itself Russia, since the Rus were living there.
The level of revisionism in pursuit of a marvel movie like narrative here is insane.
It's like saying that the rest of USamerica, outside or Massachusetts, "stole" being USamerica and only Mass is really USamerica.
Crazy shit
It reiterates that we don't accept them being "new Rus' ". They took the name "Russia" to try and "unite" all of Rus'. We don't accept them being that. They're just a duchy that took up horde traditions of conquest
I hadn’t had a chance to research the reasons why.
I thought it was a new way to piss them off and was on board with it though.
Seems to be both historically accurate and makes them angry, which is exactly the kind of thing that will catch on.
It seems to really piss Russia off when Ukraine calls them that.
Then Muscovy it is
“Uh whoops. Uh, time out guys. Guys I said time out!”
They’re gonna get booped so hard.
Seriously. Plus with modern western heavy armor arriving on the scene I’d imagine they’re scared. Challengers are coming supplied with DU APFSDS, with their modern tech/optics suites I’d imagine they’ll be able to fire on T-72s at range with relative impunity, no?
Relative would be the key word but yes.
Yeah please don’t counter attack us now
I heard they're using people trained in artillery on the front-lines because they lost too many soldiers. They gave them 2-3 days of training, an old rife and placed a firing squad behind them so they cant retreat.
Apparently they're planning to conscript another 400k and give them the same amazing training, motivation and the use of their state-of-the-art ww2 era tanks and equipment that have "totally" been maintained.
Given that Ukraine's soldiers are just about to come back from training with NATO on actually modern equipment, also provided by NATO, that was quite literally designed to counter anything russia has. Along with Ukraine's attrition rate being much lower, leaving them with a lot more experienced soldiers, commanders etc..
I feel like Putin's gonna have a bad time come May. I'd be urging them to talk too.
When the survival rate of their assault units seems to be sub 20% and they need to have people behind those units pointing a gun at them to make sure they don't retreat/desert, it says a lot about how well the war special military operation is going.
Couple that with the sanctions wreaking havoc on the economy, "easy" choice conscripts that won't be missed starting to run out.. things will get dicey. If my children were conscripted and killed on the front-line for no fucking reason, i wouldn't care if i died anymore. The more they push, the more the population should get fed up.
If putin gets 1 million killed, an economy in ruins and nothing to show for it, he's as good as dead.
He's becoming a man with nothing to lose, and his only bargaining chip being nukes. I pray the people in between him and launching them decide they actually have something to lose.
Funny you assume they get training and get armed eith anything but a hoe from your local farmer they drove out
Lukashenko has less authority than a mall security guard
mall security guard is at least legally employed
That's who Luka reminds me of, Paul Blart. Yet, not as handsome or not nearly as competent.
Remember when Luka said the war will last 3-4 days?
Remember when Luka leaked the Russian invasion plans on live TV?
What a reliable and trustworthy guy
Is that the same guy who tapped a watermelon and showed it to steven seagal
Same guy who watched Steven eat a carrot the long way?
To be honest, I think the west expected the same. Russia 100% did.
Zelensky stepping into the leadership role and holding Kyiv made all the difference. He will be a national hero of Ukraine for centuries.
Zelensky was a comedian and actor. Imagine getting your ass kicked in a war led by a comedian. Zelensky once joked,
"The Russians lost 70,000 troops, all rockets were used up, a lot of military equipment was destroyed," he describes of the war. "And how about NATO?" he asks, pretending to be a second person. "Well, what about NATO? NATO has not mobilized yet ."
Yeah, I think all intelligence agencies saw Russia easily winning, but most factored in Zelenskyy being ineffective or outright abandoning ship, but his staying changed everything.
Even western involvement, the arguments against sending weapons to Ukraine would have been stronger because a lack of leadership structure and it’s government being in chaos.
Yeah, Pentagon expected it to last less than 2 weeks.
And it likely would have been if the Kiev offensive had been successful. The fact that the Ukrainians managed to fight back and retake the airport in the early days of the war really put a wrench in Russias plans to land troops on the capital’s doorsteps.
I think the retaking and destruction of the runways at Hostomel will go down as the single most critical moment of the war. Zelenskyy's refusal to flee is the other, but it's possible that the attack on the Presidential Office Building might have succeeded if the second wave of Russian paratroopers hadn't been diverted to try to hold Hostomel instead.
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1.2y
What do you mean? Plan B was 100 miles of single file vehicles on narrow roads in enemy territory. Straight out on Sun Tzu
In war, numbers alone confer
noadvantage. Donotadvance relying on sheer military power. It is sufficient toestimate the enemy situation correctly and toconcentrate your strength to capture him. There is no more to it than this.He who lacks foresight and underestimates his enemy will surely be captured by him.
I need ammo not a ride is the singular most badass thing any world leader has said, ever
I wonder how that timeline goes. Say kyev got captured and zelenski killed or in hiding/exile. I don't think ukraine would just go along and cave.
Organized resistance could have easily crumbled with a two hit blow such as both the capital falling and the president removed from the board. Given what we know, it’s possible that there might have been partisan activity for a while. But Russia’s ease with which it commits war crimes might have put a damper on even that if they started executing civilians every time there was a guerrilla attack on the orks.
We’ll never know for sure. But the Ukrainians ability to hold tough those first few days and bog down the Russians was key.
The national animal for Ukraine should be the honey badger.
Remember when he said Putin would make him a general in the Russian army ?
I think he wanted to become a colonel
Always be the guy under the main guy strat, typical middle manager comfort zone mentality.
He also said he will become the general of new soviet army as basically right hand of Putin.
It sound so goofy I feel like we should all laugh, except the fact that this man actually has a role to play in this war and his country does station Russian tactical nuclear missiles.
So yeah real life is about as comically insane as one could it only imagine...
A cease fire only benefits Russia. If Lukashenko wants to reduce violence they can stop allowing Russia to use their territory but hey that's not happening.
He kinda can’t stop letting Russia use Belarus tho; Putin is the biggest thing keeping him in power
The only time the dictatorship gang ask for cease fires is when muscovy is losing bad. Hopefully that is the case right now.
Literally my first thought was ‘imminent Ukrainian offensive confirmed’. We shall see how it shakes out
As soon as the ground is passable Ukraine launches their counter offensive. Won't be for another few weeks depending on weather.
More than likely, I’m just a little worried for them, as absolutely insane as their defense as been (hell yeah Ukraine!) they have to be feeling a pinch of their own, and offensives are costly. Add to that that though the west’s arsenals are indeed vast they are not infinite and are needed elsewhere as well, and it has me concerned.
By forcing Russia to continually attack, and deploy all their reserve troops, Ukraine had time to train and equip fresh troops, far from the frontlines, and will be able to launch an offensive where they want, when it best suits them. The last thunder run proves that they know how to conduct them, and stops before getting too greedy.
This more or less. Michael Kofman had a pretty interesting take on this in the War on the Rocks podcast. Ukraine's professional, modern army is trained in (to oversimplify it completely) the "NATO style", which is dynamic and allows for greater independance of junior leadership. The draw is that this requires well armed and well trained soldiers and commanders. It is hard to have a lot of those. Going into an attritional battle with an enemy capable and willing to spend more lives than you is not a great way to use an army like that.
However, that force is not the majority of Ukraine's current army. Many commanders are older officers pulled out of retirement trained in the "Soviet style" (again really oversimplifying this thing). Many of the soldiers are also not professionals, but rather mobilised citizen-warriors. Their training and gear is in most cases still better than that of the Russian mobilised troops, but honestly, it is usually not fantastic either.
It looks like most of the Ukrainian forces fighting in the Bachmut area belong to that second group. As absolutely horrific as it sounds, once you have made the decision to keep a meat grinder going because you believe it is ultimately more damaging to your enemy than it is to you, then these are the troops you would use for that. For offensive actions you need very well trained troops, with great gear and leadership, who have a high morale. Holding a defensive position is comparitively much easier to do with troops of a lower quality. This is absolutely not meant to be disrespectful of any branch of the Ukrainian armed forces, simply a military reality.
Odds are that while Ukraine was undoubtedly losing many troops in Bachmut, this defense bled a lot of Russian manpower and ammunition reserves. All the while, a seperate force of very well trained and armed troops was being prepared for a Ukrainian counteroffensive.
… with a lot of modern armor
🍿
Their last thunder run was also incredibly risky as all offensives are. Don’t get me wrong the Russian military has proven what it is by now so I don’t doubt that unit by unit Ukrainian units come out on top, but this ex military man is getting a strong feeling that this campaign season is the make or break moment of the war, and Russia is not out until it’s out and may yet have its own nasty surprises, never ever underestimate an enemy.
So I’m still betting on Ukraine to make gains, but will they be enough to force a end to the war? Will Ukraine overspend for those gains in the process? That and a bunch of other things has me worried a touch
Nah, the longer this war goes on, the more his own country will be forced to participate. Maybe even send men and equipment to Ukraine to help the good old mother Russia. We all heard the reports early in the war that nobody in Belarus wants to do this, so he'll have a mutiny on his hands when daddy Putin comes calling. He's a pragmatist, he wants to stay in power above everything else.
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1.2y
All the military structure of Belarus are in there for the grift, not the fight, and they are the only thing maintaining Luka in power. The second he order them to attack Ukraine, he's out.
He gets to be a colonel though if Belarus gets involved. Putin even agreed!
*punches someone in the face*
*they pull back their fist*
WHOA HOLD ON TIME OUT BRO
“It was just a prank bro!”
"oh ok ... can you give me my wallet back then?.. Hey! Get back here you little shit!"
I DECLARE CEASEFIRE
Putin, you can't just yell ceasefire and expect something to happen.
He didnt yell it, he DECLARED it
Gotta "hereby" declare it though. Carry on
STOP THE COUNT.
The only option is a permanent ceasefire when Russia retreats.
Fuck off Lukashenko, your master can speak for himself.
Lukashenko - not the colonel in the Russian army that he wanted to be, but he is merely the Mouth of Sauron
And no one's listening to that murderer either.
There can obviously not be a ceasefire while there are russian military in Ukraine. That would make no sense.
World calls for immediate withdrawal of Russia from all of Ukraine
Bro it was just a joke. My boy didn't really want to fight you when he sucker punched you. Let him up bro, you're going to kill him. I swear on my momma's life he won't do it again.
We're losing this way! Can you please cease fire while we gather our forces?
Thanks. We'll get back to you then we're ready to take your country properly.
Saying it so Putin doesn’t have to.
Russia is losing and they need a bit of ceasefire to win some time to force 400,000 “volunteers” to be cannon fodder.
It’s a trap.
Interesting… I wonder what he is up to. Or maybe this is just part of the propaganda routine ?
Putin 100% told him to say this, he’s a lapdog
Putin wants a ceasefire to consolidate the ground his army won, allows them time to put up fortifications and defenses, before violating the agreement and invading again.
Come on people, we’ve seen this game played out before, don’t act surprised…
I feel like this is a sign. Belarus and china basically trying so hard to get a ceasefire and aid them in annexing the occupied areas. If Russia had any strength left they would keep pushing. This is the worst time for the Ukrainian military to stop fighting.
This is as hilarious as it is tragic. Don't Russia realise Ukraine has no intention of giving up their lost land? They will be taking it back. As long as there is 1 dirty corrupt Russian in occupied territory, there will be no cease fire or peace talks.
Russia. Get out of Ukraine, then there will be talks about how you pay for the damage.
Oboy! this will not end well
Calling for an unconditional ceasefire just when the Ruzzian terrorists are about to get their butts kicked out of the entirety of Ukraine?
This sounds like Putler has called Lickasshenko up to try and hold on to the illegal gains but without the Kremlin issuing the statement.
I would love to agree with you but Russia is a long way from being pushed out of Ukraine entirely, doubly so when you consider Crimea.
When you join a gang and they hand you a 9milly to put in some work.
Either he’s speaking for Putin, which is likely; or he’s realized the spring campaign could lead to a tactical nuke being fired from his country which would be a bad day for him.
He'd still be too afraid to speak out of turn, I'd think. His own country HATES him, afaik, the only backing he gets is from Putin.
He’s constantly playing a complicated balancing act to stay in power; it’s one of the weakest dictatorships I’ve ever seen so credit where credit is due for lasting this long I guess
He is funny
Not going so well for the country that helped Putin is it?
Sounds like a good sign
They are shitting his pants for the upcoming counter offensives
"Shit our offensive didn't work, and they're about to launch their counter offensive!"
"Time out bro!"
When the russians would leave, i bet the firing would cease quite rapidly
It's the equivalent of a kid yelling timeout during a fight
This guy is a clown. The only side a ceasefire would benefit is Russia as they can dig in deeper. There should be no ceasefire until the last Russian troop goes back home.
So Putin cried on Lukashenko's shoulder, begging him to demand a cease fire, so, that the Ukrainians can't counter attack until Putleninitler has reinforced his troops again and can attack again.
My side’s losing. Cease fire!
By Russia leaving he forgot to add.
Putin through Lunkashenko, They’re kicking our ass. Say something
Yes, a ceasefire, so Russia can dishonor it and kill more people.
There will be an automatic ceasefire if Russia gets out of Ukrainian territory.
Muscovy may cease firing any time they please. Ukraine, however, will continue firing until the last Muscovian steps off Ukrainian soil or is laid to rest beneath it.
Just wow. Lmfao