Cannot say I think that therapy is helping one little bit. I told them that I feel guilty about not advocating more with the doctor's. They said that I thought I could play God in deciding when my wife would die. This makes me very angry. Then they said I know you don't believe in God. He knows no such thing, and if that's what he thinks, he's wrong.
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That is absolutely awful!
My first therapist tried suggesting that my husband’s accident was really him doing it on purpose so he could leave this world! She hadn’t believed anything I told her about our relationship.
So I changed therapists and requested one with grief therapy experience. What a world of difference!
If I have to be stuck here without my spouse, I didn’t like being so miserable and grief-stricken. Life is better now, but certainly not as good as before.
Whatever you decide to do, change therapists or quit, they are both tough. Nothing is easy anymore. I get it. No one should judge you. Big hugs. This is hard sh*t.
I should have known. When I first called to see if they handled grief they said no, then they called back several days later and said yes we can see you. There are not many therapists in this area.
The great thing is, with the pandemic, now many therapists are willing to work online. This might be a way to find someone more appropriately experienced, even if they are a bit further away.
Just as ThisIsKassia mentioned, look at online therapy.
Once I moved to online therapy, I had many grief therapists to choose from. I selected one from another state who went through her own losses and experienced grief and subsequent healing firsthand.
One of the best things about the online therapy I use, is if I’m having a really bad week, a second therapy session in a week is only $25.
I’ve tried to be aggressive in my grief journey, along with keeping my jobs, and losing other family members, so I have needed the second session a few times. It’s great that it is an affordable option when we are struggling so much.
I’m actually doing pretty well now - for the most part - and it’s nice to be in the position to cherish your memories and have them bring you smiles instead of tears. Best of luck to you on this journey.
Can I ask how that works? Online therapy? Do you do video calls with them or is it chat or how does it work?
Not the person you asked, but for me it was video calls. I worked for about 3 months (weekly 45 min sessions) with a lovely and empathetic woman who didn't seem to help me much, or so I felt at the time. She was a licensed therapist who was listed in my healthcare provider's directory as experienced with grief, so I just picked her and tried it out.
Turns out she read me like a book in the first couple sessions and knew the approach that would probably have some benefits for me, in spite of my not wanting to be there. No reason to detail her methods with me as everyone is so different - but let's just say she did make a difference in a way I didn't really expect that did eventually help, but it took some further introspection to come to that realization. Worth a try imo.
For the online therapy, I have an app on my phone and open it right before a scheduled meeting. There’s a tab to click on, and the video is right there.
There’s an area for you and the therapist to send each other instant notes, like a chat, and that’s how the therapist will send links to homework, websites, book recommendations or other info.
Some online therapy sites also offer free group classes, so there is a lot of information out there.
I like the online therapy much more than in-person. I usually do the sessions at home, but I’ve already done them sitting in the car in the parking lot or my office, and while I was on vacation.
Thanks for asking the question. I didn’t know anything about it and was surprised with how easy it was.