unsure of my situation/symptoms

Seeking Support/Advice

hello, 20F here and trying to figure out if it’s possible I have vaginismus. I first suspected I had it about 3 years ago when I saw a tiktok about it and googled it to see what it was, and thought it seemed like my situation.

I’ve never been able to do PIV sex (have tried many times with multiple guys in multiple positions), or insert a tampon because the pain is just unbearable. I have been able to insert a finger but only a few times when I was really wet. I also read that it could be brought on by sexual abuse or trauma, which I did experience when I was younger but not everyone who has experienced that ends up having the disorder.

I’ve spoke with other female friends & my PCP about my inability to put stuff up there, but it’s always “are you sure were actually aroused?” and it’s like yes I’m sure… maybe not the same level of arousal everytime but I know when I’m in the mood and not lol. I feel like the guys I’ve tried with think I’m faking too bc they’ll get like a centimeter in before I start expressing pain 😭

even a while back when I first told my PCP that I struggle with putting a tampon in she said it’s because I was a virgin. then fast forward about a year I opened up about not being able to do PIV she just suggested trying to “manually open up first” (basically suggesting that my partner finger me before putting it in, which I have). like even getting fingered hurts. I honestly feel like I’ve tried everything, lube, going slower, all that but it doesn’t work. I’m not straight up expecting a diagnosis but for those of you who ARE diagnosed, does this sound similar to your situation or am I overreacting?

***EDIT: ok I read through some posts on here and realize basically everyone has gone through what I have and that I most likely have this condition. what’s the best way to go about getting a formal diagnosis?

in vaginismusby LumpyChampionship279

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Silly-Distribution12

This sounds very similar to my situation and is honestly probably why I ignored it for over a decade. My PCP is still just convinced that I'm being difficult and need to do kegels every day to solve my problems 🙄 I don't really have any advice for you because most of the progress I've made has been with my PT and my problem seems to be mostly physical (no history of any trauma). But don't let people make you think it's all in your head! What you're going through is valid.

LumpyChampionship279

thank you! I read through more posts on the sub and realized that my symptoms do match and I feel so seen… I think I’ve also tried to ignore it bc everyone irl is so dismissive and hasn’t even heard of the condition which sucks

silverstqrs

I’m glad that this page has helped you feel seen and given you insight! it’s such an under researched condition do lots of drs don’t diagnose it unfortunately.

This sounds entirely similar to my experience. I was never able to get tampons in as a teen (or to this day). Eventually, I realized it was something more than it just being difficult to insert a tampon (esp bc it felt like hitting a wall when trying). I put off going to the gyno for like 2-3 years out of convenience. I thought I had a hymen issue at first but turns out it’s actually vaginismus (which was another idea of mine).

Also, if you don’t get a diagnosis still consider finding a physical therapist! they can help and give you a diagnosis technically. They are super helpful in the process! I’m wishing you the best of luck with your journey & don’t be afraid to ask questions! It’s a confusing condition esp since there isn’t a ton of info out there!