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My feeds have very little of that.
It’s likely a case of you clicking those subjects.
I specifically skip over them whenever I can
But you read them. The algorithm notes scrolling feed these days (as scary as that is to think about).
Well I have to read them to know what they're about.
They usually start up, I'm interested in what they have to say then it's some sexist bullshit and I swipe
Too late by then. The platform knows you engage with that material. Not like, engage. They don't give a shit if you like something.
So what do you suppose I do almighty tik tok god
Stop engaging for a while. As soon as you see anything that looks even slightly political, move on. Only look at birds and cats and motorbikes, etc. The algorithm will correct its course and you will see less "shit".
That's what I just told you I did and you said it was too late by then
No, you engage with them. You should be moving on as soon as you see it is a tiktok of a woman talking.
Sometimes I like the videos when women talk though. Like stories or whatever
It’s complicated so pay attention
Ignore them
Stop clicking them
Start blocking and clicking the things that tell the algorithm not to show it to you.
I don't think most apps have that feature. I know I've looked for it in some
Edit: I guess they do have a not interested but that I didn't find before. Will definitely be trying that next time
I'm a woman and see almost none of that. Limit the content you're consuming and currate it to your preferences. This is solvable.
I skip them as much as I can
As a dude, wait until all you hear is other guys complain. It’s just as aggravating.
Complainers are the worst, regardless of sex.
I totally agree, I just don't see many men complaining from my pov. I know it's out there though
Cull your feed
Wdym
Solution: See one of these posts
Click 'Not interested' (if you're on IG you can block # you don't want to see too)
And repeat if you get it again.
Yeah I found out about this last night. I've been using it since
Considering content is mostly personalized on places you're consuming this on the internet, I think that says more about you than what you're complaining about.
I literally skip over them as much as I can. Idk what to tell you other than that
You seem more angry at women for sharing their lived experiences at the hands of men vs the men who do “things” you say you don’t do.
By focusing on silencing women vs calling out men for making each other look bad, and by not checking your penis privilege, you are doing “things”.
Unpopular comment but - I see it too. Especially in popular subs like r/vent. I try to ignore it because that’s a level of brain rot I’m not interested in. Obviously there are bad people everywhere in every gender, but it’s popular and trendy to hate men right now.
Agreed. I don't agree with the whole incel culture bullshit but the gender war stuff is so so stupid.
Which "feed" specifically are you talking about? Because by just looking at the numbers of content on sites like YouTube and Reddit men complain way more than women.
Where are you getting these numbers exactly?
I'm so tired hearing about men complain about women.
Fair, personally I don't see it much. But I know it's out there
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13d
I'm not complaining about women I'm complaining about sexism and bigotry.
And for the second and third parts that just makes no sense. Both men and women are murdered you know. Id be willing to guess that men actually get murdered more due to gang violence and the like but I'm not really talking about that. It seems like you're just one of the sexists that I'm talking about but feel free to prove me wrong
I have nothing to prove to you.
Upvoted, because truly unpopular, and here’s why: Women are inherently in a vulnerable position compared to men. Not only are men capable of physically controlling women, but they also do not carry the burden of bearing a child. If not for modern laws (and even with them), a man could simply walk away from a pregnancy, and there’s not much recourse for the woman besides dealing with it herself. Put yourself in a woman’s shoes for a second. You don’t get the same respect as men, and on top of that you always have to be the responsible party in any relationship. As men, we don’t do enough to understand their position. I don’t blame women for complaining one bit. We just need to do a better job of listening.
First of all I want to thank you for commenting with a well written, non aggressive response that isn't just an insult.
Second of all, I agree with you but that's not what the post was about. It's about the generalization, bigotry, and sexism that some women choose to use when speaking out about their issues.
Third of all while I do believe there is residuals from past generations, most men respect women as equals. I don't hang around in groups where that isn't the case. Many women are just as or honestly probably better than me at 90% of the things I do. I don't refute this what so ever.
However I am not going to take the bullet for other men. That's not my fault, I didn't place the weight of childbirth on women, I didn't create periods, I did not make women physically vulnerable. None of this is my fault.
Ok, but it WILL be your fault if you don't actively step up and help out.
Why is that
Because if you don't actively work to make things better (and this applies to any area of life), then you're not doing any better than the people who cause the problem. Complacency is just as bad as malice.
Well frankly I'm willing to bet that I've done more for women's rights than you have.
Second of all you can say complacency is malice but that's usually used in situations where people ignore an issue like bullying where an easy outcome is available but not acted upon.
Third of all, from my pov which I know it's difficult to change perspectives and all. But from my pov I'm the offended party, why would I help? I am the one being told that my whole gender isn't needed, that my whole gender should die, that people would rather be in a cage with a bear than with people of my gender. So why should I even be neutral? Much less help? This isn't something I necessarily believe in but the expectation that I should bare through it and do what's right when women don't have to is a little aggravating.
Maybe the problem isn't women "complaining"...
You're right it's about sexism
Oh I don't doubt their complaints also are based on them experiencing sexism, you're probably not entirely wrong.
I'm going to trust that you understood my point while feigning ignorance
Bet you understood mine as well and still chose to be ignorant about the real issue so...
May I ask how exactly you've helped against issues that women have faced?
You say you don't care what issues women face - so not really up to answering that to you tbh.
And no that's not a "oh that means you don't do anything" situation.
Then what do you do
Just told you.
In that case you don't have any room to judge or diminish my opinion. You're just as complacent and unhelpful to the people in this world as I am. In fact your worse off because you're not helping the women and you're attacking the men in this world.
Why do you feel attacked when it’s not even about you? Sounds like a you problem. I’ve never been triggered when black people complain how racist white people are. I’ve never been triggered when lgbtq people complain how homophobic straight people are. Because i know it’s not about me specifically. And instead of making myself a victim i’m using it to learn what the problem is and if i’m not perhaps doing some small thing that might also cause these groups to be uncomfortable. This victim mentality and selfishness you display is baffling to me. You really think your social media scrolling experience is more imortant than a woman seeking genuine advice because her husband mistreats her?
This line of thinking is extremely flawed, and gives off the same vibes as "oh it's not about you, you're one of the good ones!" Just because a sweeping generalisation comes from a minority doesn't make it not racist/sexist. I am saying this as someone part of the LGBTQ+, making bigoted generalisations and tolerating those generalisations will only make people part of the majority less empathetic towards our issues.
Yeah this is exactly what I was talking about. No matter where the evil comes from it's still evil. Thank you for articulating my point really well.
Women are not a minority. They are in fact, the majority
They are not treated as such.
Just supplying a fun fact
If I had money, I would give you an award. This is definitely one of the focal points for so many women being fed up with trying to speak out.
Do you mind reading u/SpikedScarf comment? Because I don't think it's a very good focal point. In fact I believe it's detrimental to society as a whole when the same point could be brought across in a very healthy way. I don't disagree with women speaking out about tragedies that have happened. I don't disagree with anyone about that.
But the method I've seen a lot of women use in order to get that result isnt just or fair
Here's the problem with that comment you wanted me to read.
It's a bad faith argument. This entire online gender war started when MeToo happened and women began speaking up. Then men came along and victimized themselves with Not All Men, apparently not realizing that this gave the bad ones something to hide behind. They created a shield for the bad ones because their feelings were hurt while women were discussing how they were being abused, SA'd, and murdered. The exact same thing happened when the bear vs man debate happened. Women once again flocked to it online to spread awareness that those things are happening. Men once again banded together with Not All Men and have refused to take into account that their feelings do not trump women's experiences. Too many men are engaging in bad faith because they want perfect language. Some men, bad men, it doesn't matter. Men know what types of their gender we're discussing, they simply want to dismiss the entire point instead of hearing us or helping us. They want to argue semantics. If it doesn't pertain to you, you have no business being offended. I don't get offended when Black people bring up racists because I am not racist. Instead I listen to Black people discussing the racism they have faced and do my best to be a good person. I do my best to call out racist people I come across. I shun those that decide to be racist and have nothing to do with those people. That's the behavior women want to see from men.
See you kind of proved my point in that wall of text.
"I don't get offended when black people bring up racists because I am not racist"
I am not an SAer but SAers are not getting attacked, men are. Men in general. We're being generalized and bigoted against.
You're assuming that the intentions of men are bad when we defend ourselves. I am not approving of the not all men movement or whatever. I don't think we need to band up. I don't expect perfect language either. But if you're going to tell a certain type of people they should die, that they're worse than literal savage animals, then you better fucking say the right name. I have supported women all my life. I approve of women talking about their experiences. I did not refute, disagree or even complain about this anywhere in my post.
You say that women's experiences trump men's feelings, why? Why can't they both be bad? Why are men's feelings, their vulnerability, them speaking out, why does that offend you so much? Regardless of how you say it there is not a reason to be sexist like you are being right now. There is not a reason to belittle a class of people. In my opinion all of the words you're saying are completely selfish and not understanding at all. Yet you expect men to flock to you and help you? You expect me to fight for your rights when you talk like men are trash?
I think that this new age world is fueled by miscommunication and ill placed malintent.
But I guess women that post or say these types of things don't understand that they are saying exactly what their oppressors did a hundred years ago. That this groups opinions don't matter. This groups feelings are less than. This groups decisions are unworthy of consideration.
For that I don't respect you or your points. That's because of who you are, not what's in your pants.
I am not an SAer but SAers are not getting attacked, men are. Men in general. We're being generalized and bigoted against.
This is because the men who do use the perfect language tactic have then went on to tell us, hey! No no, you should have picked better men. You shouldn't have led him on. You shouldn't have done X action. Which in turn paints the ones who aren't SA'ers in a bad light as well, leading women into the path of it is all men. And so all of the middle ground men have then shown us they're also not with us. Then simping came along and the bad men and middle men ridiculed the ones who were standing with us, shunning them for being on our side.
But if you're going to tell a certain type of people they should die, that they're worse than literal savage animals, then you better fucking say the right name.
This is the extremist side of women. I don't agree with this and I certainly don't condone it, but I can see how women got there. When they're constantly told they're to blame for being victims at the hands of bad men, by men who sit in the middle, they're going to have a harder time engaging in good faith discussions. It also shows that you do in fact want to use the perfect language tactic.
You say that women's experiences trump men's feelings, why? Why can't they both be bad? Why are men's feelings, their vulnerability, them speaking out, why does that offend you so much?
Lots of men only do so when they want women to be quiet. They only begin showing their hurt feelings in an effort to pull focus from the original discussion. Even in the OP, that's happening. His feelings are hurt so he would rather talk about that than the violence the actual posts are centered around. And it isn't that men's feelings are less than. It's that men believe their feelings trump the violence women have been facing and deserve immediate attention. Until women can have room held for them about what they've suffered without it being dismissed, reverse victimized, or made fun of, there is no room for men's feelings at the moment. Since men continue to refuse to hold that room and take steps to help the women around them as a whole.
You've set yourself up as the victim here, but you're not. You're not the focal point of these discussions. We ask for help from men because that's the only person bad men will listen to. Bad men don't listen to women. They don't care about women. They like hurting women. But instead of helping us, men want to engage in bad faith tactics and victimize themselves as you're doing now. Don't worry, I don't respect you either.
I think more of the middle ground men are on your side than you think. But again we're still being generalized so it's hard to be on your side. It's hard to care for someone that is attacking you.
You can't say that's a perfect language "tactic" the English language has words for a reason. Calling it a tactic just to push down women is absurd. It's generalization. That's what it is to it's core. There is no getting around it it's textbook generalization. Also btw I do understand why some women will go down an extremist path but I still don't respect it. I understand why some people turn to heroin too but I also don't respect that.
I am OP and I don't think you can make that assumption. There's no grounds for it. I am totally open to talking about the violence and what surrounds it. I brought up a different topic all together and rerouting to a different topic isn't an argument. It's a straw man. You also can't, once again, generalize and assume that all men "believe their feelings trump the violence women have been facing and demand immediate attention" this is just incorrect and a falsehood. You could also say women talking about violence against women is to trump global warming. It's a meaningless argument. I think you just don't want to accept that women can be wrong. Don't forget that without men there wouldn't be movements for women in the first place. You can't say that men haven't helped women, in fact I have personally. Another generalization.
Then you resort to victim blaming. I'm not setting myself up as the victim. I am being victimized and villainized. This was never a conversation about violence against women. Actually you turned it that way because you feel like that topic trumps this topic. That's not true. Topics don't trump topics, pain doesn't trump pain. They're both problems that need to be solved.
I don't know why you keep assuming that I hate women or something. All of the most important figures in my life are women, I have also faced a lot of issues that women have from both men and women. Not trying to insert myself but I would be lying if I said I didn't relate.
Imo if the women of the world really want the good men of this world to stop the bad men. If the bad men will only listen to us, then I think you should treat us better. I am not saying that we need more privilege or money or this or that.
I personally am telling you, I've been to 8 different rallies for speaking out against SA to women. I have been SAed, twice in fact. I have been a victim of male aggression, I have been a victim of female aggression. I have voted against abortion, I've been to two rallies against abortion. All that to say personally I would consider myself a decent guy, not the best, but a good guy non the less. But if women want me to speak out for their issues and help I am going to require more respect. I require more understanding, before I can go forth in good faith fighting for women.
But again that's not what this topic is about, and it honestly frustrates me that you keep trying to make this conversation what it isn't.
I'm very sorry you've been through all of that trauma, truly. That deserves space even within this discussion. Obviously we're not communicating effectively here so there's no point in continuing. Thank you for your time.
No problem and I'm inclined to agree, I wasn't trying to to Garner pity and I really respect the way you went about this conversation. It was very graceful and obviously there was intelligence and a thought process behind it. I hope our reddit argument didn't effect your day lmao
Have a good one!
You did that to yourself. Just mark that content as not-interesting instead of complaining about it. Its a non-issue.
I actually didn't know about this feature until last night. I've been using it regularly since
I wish you the best of luck
It's been working out. Many more guitar videos now lmao
The irony of you complaining about hearing people complain.
To be fair I'm doing it in a space that is known for complaining.
Bold of you to post this on reddit
Yeah ik. Surprised it didn't get taken down immediately
Is OP a misogynist?
No I'm actually very pro women. I'm not pro scapegoating, sexism, or any matter of bigotry.
No necessarily. I had a similar issue with weird recommendations on YouTube. I mainly watch DIY videos on YouTube (like crocheting etc.) but always ended up having a few right-wing nutjobs and misogynistic content creators complaining about Tinder in my YouTube suggestions.
I read they will recommend stuff that makes people mad so they watch more videos. Best course of action is to disable algorithms and suggestions whenever possible.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
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Almost every social media app has filters to filter out that stuff if you input the correct key words. Seems like youre just stopping to read them/comment/ or look at them too often (the algorithm takes this as eye-catching and will show them more). If you come across one, click on the options thingy under the vide/post and it usually has a thing to block people or simply tell the algorithm to "show me less like this".
I am a woman and i rarely get any of that stuff. Seems like you care too much and the apps have taken it as a thing that interests you. Men complain too, about women. All the damn time. If it bothers me i block and i move on. At the end of the day it doesnt matter and I dont let it consume me.
All my feeds are mainly animals. This is something you can control if you choose to close your eyes to the sheer amount of persecution and suffering from all kinds of women right now.
At least in my country women are just as well off as men.
Last I checked money doesn’t change the law or stop you from being raped.
I wasn't talking about money and being male doesn't stop you from getting raped either. I don't know what you mean by the law unless you're talking abortion but that's a clear impediment of human rights of which I don't agree with
My feeds have zero of that. Also, if you don't do the things being complained about how are you being blamed for someone's problems? The complaints aren't about you.
Because they generalize the problems to "men" and I am in fact a man
Except you know the type of men that are complaining about. Stop identifying as that type of man. I've never once felt attacked by comments such as those.
They don't say "these types of men" they say men. I am a man, I identify as one. I am judged early on for being a man. This isn't just a mental switch I can make.
So even though you hear the specific complaints you are unable to separate yourself from the men who do those things?
No I mean women will openly judge me for being a man in real life without me saying anything. Which is a product of these social media posts I'm willing to bet
Based on your comments it seems very much like you have an "us vs them* mentality towards women. Did you ever consider that they might pick up on you viewing them as an adversary and that's the reason for the judgement?
I don't view women negatively. In fact most of my friends and family are women. I grew up in a 3 woman household. I have 7 friends who are women that I hang out with at least once every two weeks.
I actually like women generally better than men. I feel more comfortable and myself when I'm around women.
So I don't know where you got that idea
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13d
Funny enough, this entire post is a great example of a huge issue that women complain about. We feel that men constantly invalidate and toss aside our opinions, feelings, etc.
How is that so? I didn't invalidate any opinions what so ever
The entire post does it.
No it doesnt
Reading comprehension is dead. Good bye.
You're the one that didn't comprehend it? But okay goodbye
Better them than you. You ever consider that the women in your life have reason to complain? Of course you haven't.
Of course I do, actually most of my friends are women and I'll listen to them all the time. I'm considered a caring and doting person by them.
What I don't care for is the generalization of hatred. It is one thing to say x did y to me and that's fucked up
It is another to say one x did y so ALL xs are pieces of shit and should die.
A common one that I've been seeing which is kinda a meme is women saying they'd rather be around a bear then a man. The tank of the wild, rather than me the dude who likes listening to music and eating cheesecake on my days off.
I'm not saying that women don't have struggles, but everyone does. I don't feel like the finger should be pointed at me for those issues.
Maybe you should follow men?
I don't really follow anyone tbh. And I like some creators that are women
Im so tired of out of shape older men sitting on a bar stool or standing in a street corner rating women as too fat or ugly or old.
I mean the issue is these guys judging random women which I get. I don't think it's cool either. But you're judging them as well for being out of shape. Seems hypocritical to me.
Maybe. But I'm not judging them for beingout ofshape. I'm just saying there's some oos guys rating women by their looks. I'm not judging them for being oos, j just saying that that's what they're doing and I'm tired of it
Maybe they're not just judging but rating women by their looks
Well, again. maybe, but when one looks at others and ranks them as doable ... yet they themselves are probably not doable if put to the same standards , it's reeks of hypocrisy. It's the hypocrisy that I'm hating.
I can understand that but your comment was also hypocratic in nature...
I guess I'll just have to disagree with you. It wasn't hypocratic and it also wasn't hypocritical. Don't like others who are not doable by their own standards rating others as whether or not they're doable. That is not hypocritical, it is an observation. Take care
Not really but you too
After reading your responses OP it has come to my attention that you’re a fucking idiot….. Multiple people have given and spelled out the answer to your problem. You’re making your own problem.
A known tactic for narcissists to "win" an argument is by insulting the person rather than arguing against the point.
I'm so tired of whiney bitch men who never shut up
E: be excellent to each other folks
Imagine calling someone a whiney bitch when you can't even live life like a normal person lmao
E: don’t shame people for their drug use. I’m an asshole
Hahahaha fair can't blame her
Imagine being so obsessed with convincing yourself that you're better than everybody else that you literally look through somebody's profile just to figure out any kind of information about them that you could pretend that you can use against them yes I am I love it maybe you should try it
I am truly sorry for my comments. I should not have said them and wish you all the best.
You are what you read. The algorithm doesn’t miss. ;) Maybe stop commenting on posts of women complaining, and trying to defend men so much and instead click “show less of this”…and move on.
Well when you have periods a couple of days a month cramping and sometimes barely able to get up because of the pain then you can talk about woman complaining too much.
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13d
I think you had a stroke dude I have no idea what you're trying to say
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