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Lose weight and work on your self esteem and style at the same time. You can find a good one overseas
+1 Work on yourself, improve yourself, and you'll do well. Don't, and it won't be much better for you overseas.
Even ugly guys who are fit and in shape can grab a good-looking lady. Especially if getting fit helps fix self-esteem and make you come out of your shell. While that is harder than grabbing a plane ticket to Columbia and just picking a desperate woman off the street...they wont leave you once they have their papers. I have seen it first-hand where someone met a really good-looking lady, clearly out of their league...only to get ditched once papers went through.
You want what everyone wants. Not sure how far along your hairloss is but rogaine works wonders. Hair transplants arent wildly expensive either. Turkiye is the best place for that supposedly and is cheaper than the US.
More importantly you identified a major problem. You are fat. No woman is attracted to fat. It signals a lack of willpower and poor general health. (These are facts..so please mods..dont try and say I am insulting anyone.) The brightside is, you have identified a problem and it is one YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER. You can fix it or you can decide it is easier not to try..because that takes effort and some discomfort..and instead remain fat and lonely.
I had a coworker that lost 25lbs in 3 months just by eating sensibly. No working out yet. Chicken or fish...a modest portion of rice...a lot of greens or salad. No junk. You are allowed some junk when you are not fat anymore. Suggestion: Try a diet plan, feel good about the progress...then at some point start going to the gym. Not sure if you are overweight enough that it causes jnee pain no or something. It will feel awkward at first, but people really are too self absorbed to notice you and if you ask for help or advice, 90% of guys will be very happy to assist. Another good thing...as long as you arent "skinny fat" you likely have a good base of muscle hiding under the fat. Some of the most aesthetic guys I know burned off their blubber to reveal an awesome bod.
Once you do this...see results, and keep at it, I promiae you...your self esteem will improve and with it your confidence and attitude. Hope I didnt write too much. Good luck bro!
Dude, you gotta be honest with yourself. "Being nice" is not a differential, it's the minimum requirement. What do you bring to the table, besides "being nice"? Women have standards too you know? And I'm not talking about those crazy 3 page list demands - but beign somewhat in shape, having a confident atittude and beign able to support a family is something that all women look for, independently of cultural and racial context.
You should strive to improve your body and confidence first of all before going after that special lady. Focus on improving yourself first, then you can look for a wife.
You have to improve yourself to the point you no longer feel shy about your body and self image. That's when you'll really be ready for the dating market. And it can be done - face is not as importante as being in shape, lookig healthy, dressing nice, beign well groomed, and having a confident psoture.
Basically, make sure you don't look like a hobo.
You sound like a really nice guy. Try and find a good therapist and explore/work through some of the negativity and self-doubt you are experiencing, there could be some unresolved trauma at play.
This, start going to the gym and do some research on a healthy lifestyle when it comes to food. You will pull a hotter girl oversees. Be less beta plz
And probably a bit of test and tren since the hairs already on the way out. lol 😂
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1mo
You aren't beta. Popularized social classifications such as these undermine the spirit of humanity. You can change and adapt, but no one can do it for you. You have to confront your fears and insecurities personally. Any other way, and you'll just be adopting someone's point of view rather than your own. You determine your worth despite external expression to the contrary. You could be homeless and broke, but still be worthy of love and respect.
This alpha beta crap is so cringe.
yeah and then you wake up. reality is a bitch, unfortunately.
First, get off the Internet. It’s influencing your lexicon which you use to create your self image. You are not beta, you are not alpha, you are just a man with potential to unlock. Second, get into the gym, your body and mind want manual labor, and women instinctively find value in a man who appears ready to perform manual labor.
Half (or more than half) the battle is eating right and exercising. The balding doesn't really matter if you can pull off the shaven look.
Beware of alpha beta bullshit. Lest it pull you into inceldom.
Bingo
Forget the alpha/beta discussion. Project confidence, be well put together, treat women with respect yet have a backbone and don't grovel.
There are bald fat men who do well with women because they don't let their size or hair pattern define their personalities.
Join a sports league. Take initiative. Challenge yourself a little everyday.
Read No More Mr Nice Guy, The Assertiveness Workbook and Mate/What Women Want by Geoff Miller (it’s a male self improvement manual). You can find them and other books like it free online or at the library. Study it like you are learning a new language (because that’s what you are doing essentially).
Visit r/fitness for the gym and follow a simple routine. Stop eating out of boredom and go outside. When you lose some weight follow some men’s style guides (Brock McGoff and He Spoke Style). Check out r/hairtransplant and follow their protocol based on your hair type. Start there, you got this.
Could you link the book?
Put yourself in positions where you take on responsibility. This should start with fitness. You owe it to yourself to be fit & healthy. Everything gets better. Emotional regulation. Health. Testosterone. Sex is better. You become more attractive.
Being fit is not a panacea, but your journey should start here. Set your goal to be very fit, see what happens.
Please don't go down the alpha-beta male rabbit hole on social media please. There's some truth to those theories but it's 95% noise, and you'll most likely come out a complete brainwashed douchebag at the other end of it. Self help, self improvement, health and lifting etc are what you need. I'd say Jordan Peterson is a good place to stick to if you need a guide without sliding too deep into the rabbit hole (stick to the self improvement stuff not the culture war stuff).
Watch Andrew Tate?
Seriously, start working on your self-esteem. Being beta is about having low self-esteem
All the dudes Ariana Grande bangs are "beta". lol. Which is to say there is no such thing as beta
Get in shape!!! That will improve your outlook and confidence. After you get in shape your attitude will make or break you.
After an upsetting breakup a decade ago I was in a slump for a couple years. I had girlfriends..was hooking up...but utterly miserable. Looking back my attitude/depression was a warped lense that I was viewing myself through so I wasnt seing and reacting to things properly. Looking back I wish I had been more proactive in rewiring myself so to speak.
Some will probably disagree...but I would suggest listening to some Andrew Tate clips. Forget the materialism garbage..filter that out. Some of them are very motivating from an accountability perspective.
Send me a message on IG Nanpalive
Listen man... You gotta make yourself into someone others would like. Think about your hypothetical partner for a minute. Why would they possibly want to spend their entire lives with an unattractive, poor, and unmotivated human being? Would you want that? It sounds awful. Do you cook and clean at least? Or eat out and make packaged type meals?
Plenty of people, particularly men, are "nice". Being nice doesn't cut it.
You need to hit the gym, you need to get a career. You need to get hobbies and do your little part to make the world a better place. Noone is entitled to having another human being. Be a person worth being with.
Also, check testosterone levels. They may be low and that's causing your lack of energy, which is causing all these other issues. Hope.this helps
If you don’t love yourself enough to lose weight, why should anyone love you?
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1mo
How many fat, unattractive women in their thirties with low self esterm and mental health problems have you tried to date lately?
Did you spend enough time with them to figure out if they were kind, funny, loving and loyal?
Hahahaha I loved this comment
It’s generally a good idea to be on the level of you want to attract. If you want some hot ass 20 year old girl you’re gonna need to be either hot also or significantly financially more successful. You gotta have something to offer beyond just being a cool person. It’s the way of the world.
That's great if she already knows you, but if you're looking for a romantic relationship, there should be physical attraction of some kind.
And being overweight signals that you're lazy, undisciplined, have bad genetics, and more.
You can be funny, kind, and everything else, but that doesn't balance out the rest.
I'm saying this as someone who hit 360 lbs at my heaviest.
I know what I'm talking about.
"I'm kind, funny, loyal..." Is a cope to ignore the massive problem staring you in the face you want a woman to ignore.
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1mo
It's statistical unfortunately, stereotypes exist for a reason. Same as the gold digger or greencard digger spouse. Just fix that up, working out is fun and it'l carry over to other areas of your life like money since it's a discipline builder. For people that I've taught investment and finance, the gymbros were reliably able to save and invest regularly. There's a discipline aspect for sure, but there is also genetics, some people have to work way harder. Would you want to date the sweetest more nurturing woman but she's shut-in level obese? Women look for indicators of health and sexual fitness too. Thankfully as men, we can change a lot of the factors that make us attractive.
you mean to tell me no fat chicks or single mothers are willing to give you a chance? or is your type skinny 20 something pretty girls? because if you stay fat and bald the only reason a girl abroad is gonna be into you is the greencard. or you can lose weight get in shape and have a good style i clothing and then try your luck abroad. but a good personality is worth nothing if you're trying to date up..
Came here to say this. Are we swinging within our means or shooting for the stars?
I like Sydney sweetie but no way she wants me.
You’re not kind enough to put in the effort to be attractive to your potential future partner.
This is like if you went to a job interview and said “I’m completely unqualified and don’t really wanna work but I’m nice”
Women are attracted to what they’re attracted to and you’re not gonna guilt them or make them pity you or be nice enough to change that.
If you want women then become attractive enough for one, if not then go get an AI sex doll or something.
Love yourself and get to a healthy bmi
That wont get you laid. Those are all admirable and noble traits. But first get into shape, this will raise your attractiveness to women many times over. Fitness is a sign of general health. Women want healthy babies.
You're also lazy. You'll pull much hotter women if you stop feeling sorry for yourself and get in shape
If you don’t try to become more attractive, gals will see you as a friend, not a potential person to make babies with
First step of falling in love is a sexual attraction to that person. Men are attracted to women who have the right proportions and are generally in shape...women are attracted to Men who are in shape and muscular...or at least thin and tall like a runner.
Some are. Did SZA teach you nothing
Reframe your mindset. Loyalty is good for stability, but it’s not what fosters attraction first (which is where you start). Work on the self-Improvement to put yourself in the best position otherwise you’ll face an uphill climb.
I disagree with some points the comments below - a man certainly doesn’t have to be at peak physical fitness to find love, though it might be good for your health and self-esteem to do that work for yourself in your own time.
You clearly know your qualities, and hopefully these will shine through when you get to know women better. Modern women are often in search of emotional intelligence, and it seems like you may have more of this than the average gym bro. I wish you the very best of luck!
In a perfect less shallow world you’d be the perfect guy for the hottest chick on the planet but unfortunately.. your body is a testament to your discipline so think about this, if a woman works hard to stay fit and look good wouldn’t she want the same in a man?! a women can find the same qualities you have in any other guy so why should she choose you?! subconsciously the most important thing to a women is to procreate with someone that will give her offsprings the highest chance of survival it’s the same in the animal kingdom, the biggest strongest alpha gets the best female partner, why do you think that?
OP with the current attitude/mindset and your state - you are a lamb to the slaughter and are going to get wrecked (anywhere - in the West or abroad) - the kind/caring/funny shit is only for after you have a decent level of fitness / career / looks first. You can work to improve all that, right now your amazing personality isn't worth shit to women and won't make up for your faults. Anyone who tells you otherwise (women especially) are lying to you. Make an effort to eat well, go to the gym, work on your career or business to earn above average level of income (ideally remote income) - and then you can think about the PPB lifestyle.
Threads like these, is why this community is seen as lazy men trying to find an unrealistic easy way out. Fucking yikes.
If you want genuine love? Either date someone who looks similar to you now or improve your looks first.
You seem to have a lot to offer outside of your looks. But losing weight is often a lot easier than you think. And you can’t expect a slim, fit woman to want to date someone who’s not slim or fit.
So it’s either going for someone like you are now or changing yourself.
I recommend "No more mr Nice guy" by Dr Robert Glover and "Models" by Mark Manson. While these books won't change your life that will still be up to you. I think they good mental health books for men and can help a person to self reflect and deal with one self. Men easily say get in shape, look better get more money then you get more girls. While these are obvious things they often not the route cause for the situation. I see way more couples where you wonder how did "he end up with her?" Than the other way round.
You won't get the love you want until you start loving yourself - that goes for passport bros or anyone else. Those i see in Thailand who arrive with low self-esteem always end up with the worst women and are even worse off after they've had their heart ripped out. Go to the gym, feel better about yourself, learn self-worth and then go to a different country... Going out of desperation never works. You sound like a pretty genuine guy, I don't want to hear that you've gone through the same shit I've seen hundreds of times.
The thing is, your personality and stuff doesn't matter until after they get to know you, which is hard if your physical appearance is bad. It's also kind of a red flag if you're fat and look like you have no discipline in life. Balding is a genetic thing, so that's not really an issue, but being overweight or whatever just means you're lazy. Get in the gym. If you can afford it, get a personal trainer (if you're not familiar with lifting and all that), and have them help you fix your diet. You get that fixed and then you'll have a chance to show your personality more. Also, getting in shape physically is great for your self-esteem and confidence.
Talk to more women. Without a romantic angle. Just talk.
Convinced this is a satirical post
Yeah, soubds like you have a goal for MIND, and SOUL. But you need a goal for body. All matter, and will be reflected in your spouse. Definitely get these goals clear in your mind and no self-sabotage. Then all will be ok.
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1mo
Cut out drinking, that is murder upon family and working out. Bodybuilding is an awesome hobby, can't do much about my hair but I can about my body and muscularity...Hair is up to you, transplant or not.
Being fit makes dating easy mode. It’s well worth the effort. Good for mental health too. The way you treat your body says a lot about who you are.
"I guess". Jesus Christ, the low energy on this one.
- Start losing weight through intermittent fasting 2. Start making more money or get on a path to make more money 3. Buy a hair transplant for like $6k
Find a loving wife who is 31, fat, and equally as attractive as you. I'm willing to bet you don't want someone with those qualities and rather than working on yourself, you're opting to fly to some impoverished country to prey on young vulnerable women. You're not entitled to love, you're not entitled to marriage, and you're definitely not deserving of it.
I'm a woman and I don't date anymore but here's what I looked for when I did
Besides the basic do we have the same morals, life goals, politics, and hobbies....
Am I attracted to them?
Is he my type? (These types of relationships do involve sex after all im a petite woman so men that were much larger/taller than me I would pass on because I'm not getting hurt)
Are they clean?
I stopped dating a guy because his home was atrocious, constantly. I know people have a rough workweek or two and don't feel like cleaning. But after cleaning his house. I left him because all I saw myself doing was cleaning up after his shit for the rest of my life.
This also goes for personal hygiene. SO MANY men don't care about themselves physically in any sort of manner and I WISH TO GOD they did because it would really help with the attractiveness part. Which I struggled with while dating a lot because of this.
It actuality made me not care about mine for awhile because I thought wtf is the point if they aren't trying either? But you know its better to love and care for yourself in general.
Do they have career prospects? Passions?
I don't care about this whole incel wealthy men attractiveness bullshit. I can support myself just fine. But what I don't want is a man who is ok working at a printshop the rest of his life only making 11 a hour. When I was a young warthog I had a celebrity crush because he loved his work, was very passionate about his career/hobby and honestly I STILL find this hot af about him beuse he hasn't stopped. I like men with a good work ethic and are passionate about something is what I'm saying.
Does he have a friend group?
I don't date clingers. HUGE HUGE turnoff for me. Also red flag for codependency. Gross.
Watched a friend literally tell her bf to make a friend group and hang more with the friend he had, or she's bailing because she was tired of not only having to tell him to clean and cook more (he had his own place was clean etc before they moved in so no excuse for him there) but she's wasn't his sole source of friendship/companionship. Thats not fair for anyone. That man goes to three dnd sessions a week, they set up a chore/meal chart and both are much happier now.
With sex
Does he respect my boundaries? Does he have emotional intelligence? Empathy? DOES HE STOP during sex when i say STOP. Does he listen to me when I say I don't like being treated a certain way in the bedroom? Does he even CARE or PUT EFFORT into my pleasure? Sad I have to say that. But my experience is one of the reasons why I quit. I've had better sex in fantasizing than real-life.
******Here's the most important one**********
Does he treat women as human beings and not like bangmommies? This one is a big reason why a lot of men are single and angry.
And the biggest reason why I quit.
I don't date because I'm just happier single now. I've watched to many of my girlfriends have to be house mommies or slowly train their boyfriends to be better equal partners (or eventually give up due to burnout and leave) and I've had enough shit experiences myself that I'm done. But im hoping this will help men get a better idea so that women in the future will actually have decent partners.
If you are balding buy minoxidil and take pumpkin seed oil wish more men new that as well. Had to use it myself after I lost hair due to a very stressful year. But it works well for men with hairloss. But remember we all get old and ugly eventually. I'm 32 and I've noticed I've lost some hair volume.
Oh right! Ps. I have a very good male friend who struggled with being overweight. He hit the gym everyday EVERYDAY and did intermittent fasting and had HUGE success! 3 years later he's still a bit big but holy shit its a huge difference and I can see it getting better for him as time progresses. He actually got a little pt job at that gym as well.
(By the way this same friend is the child of a failed greencard marriage from overseas (korea) so no going overseas will not work for you if you want I can have him talk with you about his experience just pm me and ill send you his user name lets just say he doesn't speak with his mom anymore. His family was ruined because low and behold she was a gold digger who wanted a citizenship and kept jumping around with wealthier and wealthier men in the usa)
PSS my dad always asked if they had a car and that was it so apparently thats important as well 🤣 I always thought that was funny. I guess that was his way of asking if they had a job lol.
I agree with everything you said except the last part. Overseas marriages absolutely can work. My great aunt married a man from overseas and they died together in the nursing home. They were together over 50 years. I work in healthcare near a military base and I have multiple patients every day who are married to a woman they met overseas and they're elderly now. Just like every relationship, some will work out and some don't.
I think it depends on the intentions behind finding someone overseas. It happens naturally all the time I'm sure. No problem with that. But im not exactly talking about that I'm trying to say something else in a nicer way if you get me. Sorry about the misunderstanding friend.
Get in shape dude, the title sounds disgusting
Try what I did and move to another country and be up-front that you don't plan to go back or ever get a green card for anyone. There's no point in getting a green card for someone who will stay in their country anyways.
Another thing is that the attention you'll get in some other countries can motivate you to be more confident and improve yourself. Choose a country wisely. I highly recommend South-east Asia.
If you move to Thailand stay out of the bars. Don’t expect love from a bargirl/prostitute. They will eat you alive and spit you out financially and emotionally devastated. The skill of these girls is beyond your ability to comprehend, trust me.
You could find a slightly heavy, 30+ Thai lady in a matter of days. 30 years old is considered old in Thailand. So, many ladies your age are about to give up on ever having a solid relationship. Try to find one with a normal job. Nurses are great. Retail sales in a mall ladies are great.
Get in shape, shave your head and grow out a beard and you’ll be fine. Don’t listen to the hair transplant and anti balding medicine advice. Shave your head trust me it’s liberating and if you’re in a shape it’s not a bad look. Source: me a bald guy
It can be but not for everyone. Especially fat men.
Being bald is fine. I've noticed that some women prefer it, and women over 30 don't seem to mind it as much as younger women. It's a pita tho. It's way more work to be bald that it is to have hair. 😮💨
Yea they would use you for green card. But what’s the issue with that. Costs you nothing
The issue is getting dumped after you import them.
first of all, those 2 are fixable.
Go learn some recipes to balance your diet out and start with taking daily walks. fuck it, get a dog if you can't be fucked.
Balding. Go get some fake ass hair. Turkey's major airline is jokingly called Turkish Hairlines for a reason. But go see a doctor first. Some forms of balding can be fixed with some 10-20 dollar meds. Go check if you can save a couple grand first.
If a woman gets you for a greencard she won't love you. She'll put up with your self pitying behind to not live in poverty.
Also what woman wants to be with a man that cannot be fucked to hit the gym 1-2 times a week and lay down the potato chips every night.
Give yourself enough love and people will love to be around you naturally
What's the 20 dollar meds for the hair loss control?
Some specific cases just need some vitamins. I cant recall off the top of my head. I bet if you look up ‘balding and fat’ or something on reddit it’ll get mentioned semi frequently
Finasteride if you catch it early
It's the cream you have to apply everyday right? Does it cause hair to grow out of bald patches or just slows down hair loss? Also what do you mean by catch it early...? I think I'm somewhat early in the sense that I'm not visibly bald in the back yet, but it's thinning out pretty rapidly to the point that if I don't comb it a certain way it's semi visible. Think it'll still work out?
Every time I read replies from these threads I just keep seeing people who haven't traveled overseas. Everyone is telling you to lose weight. Yeah, you can lose weight, but you shouldn't lose it for women and instead do it for health reasons.
But when in China I see some fat Chinese guys with women. Shit, I've seen fat bald guys with good looking women. You can be fat and get women. (Now it needs to be relative, because "fat" in the US is way more than "fat" in Asia).
Same thing with balding. Seen bald guys in China with their wives. I think too many people are applying US standards to everything on this subreddit.
Intermittent fasting is one of the best ways to lose weight. I've done it and it works wonders. Throw in some gym time to firm up your physique and you're good. You don't need to be an adonis, just lean and firm. Take up self defense like boxing or jiu jitsu as well. Not only will it get you in shape it will boost your confidence as well.
If you're balding just shave it all off. Thanks to famous celebrities like Michael Jordan, Stone Cold Steve Austin and others, baldness in men can be seen as sexy. But it's complete baldness. Receding hairlines and comb overs aren't sexy at all so just shave it all off.
Finally, just go to another country for a vacation, not necessarily to find a wife. Take a 1-2 week trip and see the sights. Learn to feel comfortable in your own skin and get used to interacting with lots of different types of people from varying backgrounds.
I mean it can work for both men and women. Amber Rose and Grace Jones for example
It’s actually not recommended for women because the body goes into “scarce resource mode” and stops unnecessary body functions, and the first thing that goes is reproduction. That means it starts early menopause in women. Dr Sinclair speaks about that on his podcast.
1) get fit
2) keep a hairstyle even if you're balding. In many cultures balding is so spread that no one cares much.
3) work on your insecurities and defeatist mentality, and your self esteem. You want to become someone that is proud, that thinks of himself as the prize and brings women in because you have an good life to offer, not because you need women to be happy.
Women want the kind and caring guy that is also assertive, make decisions and save the day. They want the guy which could kill and protect if needed, but is in control and is loving and mindful.
They want someone who knows where he is standing, is clear on his values and won't get swayed easily. This is because the opposite of that creates confusion and lack of clarity. Lack of clarity is scary to women. They need to know you're not going to hurt them, use them, or ditch them. Women need clarity and reassurance. The more clarity you bring, better, but, clarity also means you have understood you are ready to walk away if your values and boundaries aren't respected.
4) finding a loving wife is a multi-year effort. You can't be happy in life if you are anxious about a future goal that may or may not come. Focus instead on being present day to day, and living life step by step without losing the focus. Be ok with not knowing how life is really going to turn out, and take every opportunity to say yes to meet someone and have some fun. The wife will be someone you have meet through time and you decide she's worth it AFTER having lived experiences together, not before.
Good luck, chubbuboy
No one can tell you where to go or how to get "real love." That's really the bottom line.
What are you expecting people to tell you? "Just go here and you'll find real love."
You can't do much about balding (I personally wouldn't take those hair loss drugs) but you can sure as hell do a lot about the fat part. I'm trying to lose about 20-30lbs myself. Hit up some of the fitness subs.
Balding is fine. NBD really, but you should try and lose some weight.
balding is fine, being fat is not. Work on yourself.
Hit the gym
Not exactly the advice you wanted.
You need to get bloodwork done and check test and thyroid levels. Many dudes lose hair because of genetics, but you could also lose hair from hormonal imbalances. No, your body having hormonal issues isn’t the same as why someone on steroids loses hair from messed up hormonal levels. Some dudes try to say it’s from naturally high testosterone as they get irritable and start gaining body fat, because they want to identify as a tough guy.
I myself had some bad undiagnosed physical ailments in my mid to late twenties, my hair started to salt and pepper early and started to thin a bit. I got that stuff sorted out and the salt and pepper didn’t come back until I was like 36, at 38 my hair is almost as thick as ever and not receding.
You can own your balding and do something about your weight. I would recommend changing your food mentality. Think about it this way - do you want to live the rest of your life feeling like this, or do you want to do something about it now? Also ask yourself - what will you do when you reach your weight goal? Are you just gonna gain it back up? Think about your health as a life choice. By making it last forever, you're essentially telling yourself "I want to change for good."
I would recommend starting with intermittent fasting and only eating a 400-500 calorie lunch and a full dinner. The first week will be your hardest, but push forward; nothing worth doing in life comes easy. Count your calories with My Fitness Pal to gain awareness of what and how much you're putting into your body. Buy yourself a smart scale on Amazon and check your weight once a week. Be extremely selective when to eat sweets (on a holiday, special occasion, etc.) Cut soda as much as possible and drink a lot more water. The goal is to get you healthy. You'll start craving less sweets when you cut your sugar intake.
Start with 20 minute light cardio sessions 4-5 days a week to get your body moving. Increase intensity little by little after your body starts getting used to it. Once you have established a system that works for you, keep pushing yourself and build muscle by weight lifting. You will start to love to work out by this point.
If you want to increase your chances and dating pool, you need to put in the work. At the end of the day, you can't forget about your personality, confidence and your outlook towards yourself/others, which really go without saying. You just need to tilt yourself upwards towards a positive attitude, so if you start bettering yourself, you'll affect your mindset, gain confidence, and start seeing positive results in every aspect of your life. With that mindset, you can literally date anywhere if that's what you want. Take control of your life and stop letting it control you.
First of all go shaved (clipper set shortest level / no attachments) head and grow a short beard. Its just a great look. Helped me a lot, even though my beard is pretty shit. Hit the gym, eat better, and work out. You don't need to be Henry Cavil level, but being healthier is good for you long term. Get a trainer if you can afford it! For me, eating better came down to not ordering pizza ever unless I was hosting a party or something, and not buying beer. Because if I order a pizza I'm gonna eat the entire fucking thing 100% of the time and I'm gonna get parmesan bread bites too, so its going to be like 4000 calories., and if I buy beer I'm gonna drink it pretty fast.
This will help you regardless of whether you choose to go abroad! Also, I would still travel just for fun and to see the world while you're single, and if you end up meeting someone then all the better. I'm actually a bit jealous of you, the best is yet to come!
Why do you think your value would change from one place to another, other than the novelty of you (which wears off)?
You're constantly forced to look at what the internet has to offer, which is the exceptional. The internet algorithmically puts what is rare and exceptional in the forefront of what you see. For the other 90% of the world or country, people don't look/act/talk/think in these extreme ways. They're average looking, average earning people who realize this in the back of their minds despite being subscribed the affairs of the exceptional.
You might have different results in another location, but there's no promise of it being better. You get better results through improving what you can. Find a talent and develop it. And fucking lose weight, would you want to marry a fat girl?
Hair can be fixed, minoxidil (finasteride maybe), weight can be lost. Join a gym find a coach who will guide you on your diet and training, do it for a year or two then go abroad.
Get in the gym fool what the hell is this post
- Do you make enough money to afford your own place and take care of another person who isn’t working to a some degree? If the answer is no come back when you have hit that financial milestone. OR if you have a remote job see if they’ll let you stay abroad for a long term.
- Feeding off of point #1 - to have successful frame of the relationship you need to be able to provide to some degree. Aim for 80/20 if you can’t go full 100%. Those from more developed countries may be open to 70/30 or 80/20.
- Don’t be stupid and date a smoke show you know you couldn’t afford if she was American. Those girls will most likely just tell you what you want to hear and leave you once the GC is in. Or outright cheat.
You will get attention from some fine ass single moms. They are out there and typically have more incentive to act in good faith. Tread carefully because the immigration process is expensive and you’re liable for them.
Develop some confidence and self worth. There are pretty girls abroad that can smell that shit and can take you for a ride.
Enough quality advice has been given so I will lock the comments going forward.
31 years old you’re still young man, if you have no health problems do some steriods. Testosterone + Anavar. You’ll be looking good in about 3 months. You should lose 20-30 pounds in the first 30 days eating a salad in the morning, meal around mid day and fruit/berries before bed so you don’t sleep hungry.
And own/rock the bald look. Just shave it all off man. Grow a sigma beard. You’ll pull hot girls even if you got a potato face.
I’m interested in lightly trying steroids. Is there a brand you suggest? Also I can’t get a clear answer from the internet if there is a product that does both testosterone & anavar or if you have to buy the anavar and get testosterone from a doctor separately. Do you know the answer to this? Thank you
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1mo
You could tell women that you really care about the environment, and in this current form your producing green energy. Heat in the winter and shade in the summer. All jokes aside though check out more plates more dates on YouTube and use Derek as a life coach. I used to be a fat fuck and still have a fair amount of self criticism that fucks with my confidence. Like anything in life it's truly up to you, you'll have to sit down and do a humbling self audit, identity every aspect of your life that you feel is negatively effecting you, write it all down. The next parts will ether be achieved with self accountability or you can be ghey and accept that your previous life choices have made you undesirable. The greatest things in life take hard work to achieve. Shoot me a message if you'd like to discuss further
Go to the gym, dude.
And if you don't want to be a greencard then don't move back, stay there and let then know that from the beginning
Assuming this isn’t a troll post
You’re not ready
You don’t want the kind of girl you are going to bring home in the state you’re in
Passport bro isn’t about finding easier women it’s about finding better women
Women overseas don’t want a loser either and you’ll just being back a prostitute or something that’s lying to you about her past
Hit the gym shave your head or get plugs and drop the weight first
They're gonna used you to get a greencard even if you're in shape and good looking. Don't marry them!
how about not be fat?
You’ll find happiness you’ll see.👍
Don’t focus so much on your looks but do focus on hygiene is the best advice I can give you.
I’ve been married since 2010 with 4 kids I’m 34M 🤷♂️
Everyone deserves a loving partner. I would stop thinking and using terms like alpha and beta. These are terms that "influencers" use to try to sell you something or disparage you into watching more of their videos.
Check out 90 Day Fiance to see what you might be in for. Not to discourage you but to give you signs who not to date. They pick the people with the biggest personality disorders
There's an ideal and moral world, and there is the actual world =/. Unfortunately we're in the actual. People are only going to associate with you insofar as you are useful to them.
Evolutionarily speaking, “everyone deserves a loving partner” is bullshit. This is a race and a competition at the end of the day. Improving himself and becoming a better version of himself is the way he will be more likely to attract a mate- keyword is “attract”. There is no love without attraction.
What's your regular account? Since this is clearly your alt that you've used to downvote my comment twice.
From an evolutionary standpoint you seem like an angry, small man who can't accept anyone's happiness because you're miserable.
I hope you find what you're looking for but don't tear others down because you're hurting.
lolwut? Yeah, I downvoted you once. You seem really upset at my comment though- take a chill pill man. It's tough love, and you clearly can't take it.
Bless your heart. What's your alt so I can block that account too
Here is where I disagree with most passport bros... This movement has been infiltrated with a bunch of looks maxing gym bros...who have never left the USA but insist they are experts on dating overseas...
The problem is American dating is so female centric ( even fat ugly girls want a fit hot guy with money ) that they think women are the same overseas...but I have seen plenty of fat broke guys winning overseas...
Here is the catch...they are dating their looks match... so if you are ok with dating a fat, slightly unattractive woman, you have hope overseas...especially DR, Mexico, and The Phai...
The funny thing is...nobody is telling fat, ugly women to loose weight to get a man or get their money up... thats why I hate looks maxers who never been nowhere pushing feminist talking points...if fat chicks dated their looks match in the USA, Passport bros would never exist. overseas you have a shot... but you must be masculine, and provide...50/50 is only for Chad's and dads nowadays.
Also, you are broke, so you would need a very weak currency...in the country....Japan, Vietnam, the Phai, the dollar goes far...
Japanese don't like fat people even if rich. Same in Korea.
If a fat woman was only attracted to muscular, fit men and no muscular, fit man was attracted to her they’d absolutely say either loose weight or remain single. And some men like bigger women
Sex tourism won’t solve your confidence problem
Ozempic and gym. Don’t do this to get a woman but for your own self esteem. Balding is perfectly fine as long as you rock it well. A woman’s advice 🤷🏽♀️
" I just wanna feel real love, Feel the home that I live in, 'Cause I got too much life, Running through my veins"
On a serious note shave your head, grow a beard, hit the gym and get on TRT, you still have time to turn things around. Also work on yourself image, read PsychoCybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
I could recommend you to find one in r/TwoXChromosomes.
See you at the gym bro