www.spectator.co.uk/article/the-asexual-revolution/
Why are so many young people ‘asexual’?
Antidepressants, and also the definition of asexual being so loose that it encompasses people who have lots of sex that they enjoy.
“Being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy or have sex” - being told this was when I really realized we are just saying words at this point, and are no longer concerned with any sense of consistency or shared language.
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
- Alice (in Wonderland)
Like that but less clever and interesting
We’ve been saying stupid useless words for a while now in this delusional little culture of ours. I just don’t even argue with people anymore. Whenever a conversation turns political, I drop it and leave.
I didn’t always used to, but whenever the average quality of political debate is rife with shit like this - what’s the point?
“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master — that’s all.”
Isn’t it the lack of sexual attraction?
Yes but why would you have sex if you lack a sex drive or desire to do so. It’s insane shit to call oneself an asexual but then go have sex and just pretend like you don’t enjoy it
Add on social anxiety/avoidance and I think you've got the big causes of the observed uptick. I genuinely believe a lot of the kids identifying as asexual are just socially awkward or anxious, and are using the label as a virtuous way to opt out of new scary social situations where they have to talk to girls and risk rejection or navigate male sexual attention.
I have literally seen people on Twitter who have “asexual” in their bio right next to an onlyfans link
Money > dignity
I also hate my job.
I don't for a second believe they all are, but if you can make an easy living masturbating while dressing up like anime characters you don't need to like it to be willing to trade dignity for cash.
I didn't like stacking 94 pound bags of cement all day. I still did it though.
The answer is antidepressants
So many people are on them, and they destroy your sex drive
Jokes aside, there have been some proposed links between SSRIs and lack of sexual function.
The most horrifying thing about mixed age online social circles is that most of the youngins are permanently on antidepressants and whatnot, and at some point they all start discussing their prescriptions.
It drives me up the fuckin wall that people make it out that it's glamorous or fun having a disability whether it be mental or physical.
I was legitimately expertly evaluated for ADHD as a kid.
But I don't wear it like a badge of fucking honor and would give up every single prescription refill I get to some faking fucker just to be normal and actually remember things, or to stop crucifying myself because I promised myself that today wouldn't be like yesterday and finally get some work done for once.
It’s ruining my life. I don’t know why it would be something to flaunt.
Edit: also, I do fear what future studies say about SSRIs seeing as it was prescribed like candy in my early teens.
I feel that. Was diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers as a kid, got put on a laundry list of meds all throughout childhood to the point that whenever we changed doctors for whatever reason, my mom had a novella's worth of prescription history to show to every new psychiatrist.
Same story with me. And I guarantee if you could give it all up you would do it in an instant, right?
Oh I did give up the meds. About a year and a half ago I felt like I was in a stable enough spot and just quit cold turkey. The following 3 weeks were rough, random crying, mood swings and shit, but I powered through it and now the only thing I do that could be taken as chronic medication is loud.
Anyone with any of these conditions isn't proud of them.
In fact for most of human history they were a great source of shame, and now?
Now it feels like we're just over-correcting.
This is the only acceptable mindset when it comes to ADHD. I’ve been diagnosed since like 2004. I would do anything to not have to take meds to keep my life on track. It’s not a trophy to carry over others, neither should it be a crutch. I’m so sick of kids these days pinning all their problems on their fucking ADHD. It’s never been acceptable to blame your failures on your ADHD and I have such low tolerance for that type of behavior. You learn to live with it like you learn to live without a hand if it were amputated.
I do agree that people shouldn't use it as an excuse, but the reality is this society is incredibly unkind to neuro-divergent people. It's like being asked to play football just as well as everyone else, but you've got a 100lb weight chained around each of your ankles. I mean, is it excuses, or just eventual defeated acceptance that very few neuro-divergent people in society will be able to be 'successful'?
Fuckin' real, dude.
Yeah my friend who recently went back to uni in her 40s was saying how all the young adults seemed to be on meds and talking a lot about all their mental health issues and neurodivergence.
Whenever I hear neurodivergence, I have the sudden urge to bash my own skull in.
Neurodivergent and neurotypical are the dumbest fucking terms. What is the standard considered “typical” to which people are compared? Spoiler alert: there isn’t one. Everyone is “neurodivergent” to a degree, and obviously there are cases like severe nonverbal autism that warrant special treatment, but as a lone descriptor it’s absolutely meaningless and used for the worst purposes.
It is literally the "I think disabilities are cool and want to be part of the club, yet couldn't bamboozle even the most gullible or corrupt doctor into signing the sheet where it says I have true'n'honest [insert preferred disorder here]"
More broadly, I think it’s “my worldview is structured around the idea that I think oppressed groups deserve more but I can’t say I belong to one of the obvious ones so this is one of my better options”. Same vein as she/they, or generic queer
It's a term pseudo-academic people can parrot to sound smart. It has zero origin in any psychiatric or psychological textbook or paper.
wtf are you talking about, its literally in the academia produced DSM 5.
And i'd love to say the whole field is bunk, but CPTSD literally describes the project monarch hell we live in.
everything is just trauma based mind control.
I wonder how much of it is really cultural and how much of it is micro plastics, pesticides, and forever chemicals messing with hormones and neurotransmitters. More and more pufas don't help either.
Yeah, I was going to say this. The numbers are way up each passing decade but I don’t think it’s entirely fakers and trendsetters. I expect a significant portion of the coming generations (possibly even a majority) will have actual diagnosable mental problems. We’re being fed microplastics from the moment of conception and there’s no way to avoid the steady, constant stream of them building up in our brains, blood, and other organs for as long as we live. That’s bound to have serious repercussions. On a similar note, I expect dementia rates to increase massively with each aging generation of seniors for similar reasons.
At some point, the people who manage to come out unscathed from this heavy and inescapable diet of microplastics are going to be a remarkably hale minority.
amusing fall skirt ripe impolite society doll tart capable important
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
Some unknown portion could be that. But there’s also the environment. Constantly having screens, social media dopamine hits, no longer having heaps free play, are training our brains in ways that are not conducive to sustained attention, or persisting with tasks.
I was on psych meds before it was cool.
As a parent I’m in some parenting subs and recently someone posted about finally going on antidepressants after trying all other alternatives. It was horrifying to see how many people were like me too! I know from experience that shit fucks up your libido and for what? Like I understand if you’re suicidal but being unhappy and not being able to feel anything is like a cruel joke.
Also, there’s a rise in awareness about ssri permanently damaging sexual (ie pleasure) receptors in the brain so even if you get off of the drugs you might still not get much pleasure for boinking.
I was on some antidepressants for a few months and they fucked with me to the point where I could only get off to the most unhinged shit you can imagine. Never again, and I don't want to think about what would have happened if I was going through puberty while on those drugs
I can confirm this. When I was on SSRI my pp was dead and libido underground
have you recovered
Let's say that I got used to be less horny than before but my erections are back, also higher libido than when I was on SSRI
roughly the same experience here, only I was getting hooked onto SNRI
I never recovered
I stopped taking Zoloft 14 years ago
Libido never returned
Had a girlfriend who went on ssri's and her libido basically disappeared and she became unable to orgasm at all even after getting off the medication
The contraceptive pill does this to a lot of women too. There’s a whole phenomenon in fact of women coming off it in their late 30s or whenever, to try for kids, and suddenly discovering their sex drive for the first time. Some discover they’re actually lesbians and stuff! It’s wild.
I was put on the pill at 15 for painful periods and didn’t stop til I had my first child so i can definitely relate.
I had a partner many years ago, we had a great sex life and then she went onto the pill, called Dianette, and her sex drive literally died within a week. It caused a lot of problems in our relationship, as I was 20 and basically chomping at the bit every day. Eventually she came off of it, her sex drive returned but it had also sadly caused her to have quite bad mood swings, these have never really stopped even over 15 years later.
I think maybe long term fucking with human hormone systems is a super dangerous game. I took just enough organic chem to know that these systems aren't as well understood as we like to think they are and what we do understand about them is fucking complicated
I had my doubts too until chatting with a friend who is bonafied "asexual" as in she can't get attracted to anyone. Dating becomes a chore as she is going through the motions because that is what ppl do in their 20's but nothing really clicks and is "attractive". She is good looking herself too so it ain't that.
Regardless; attaching it to the LGBTetc movement is dumb as hell.
Edit: Ok read the article and this kind of shit is what makes it hard for me to accept "asexual" as a real thing outside of a hormonal issue or making your whole identity about not fucking; if I didn't have a friend who explained their perspective.
I've heard the terms in the article before from her and part of me was thinking "is surrounding yourself with these people good for you?". It's like a loser surrounding themselves with incels and becoming more and more fucked up and disconnected from "normal" society, or a mild feminist doing a gender studies course and becoming unhinged.
It is also aphobic, I’ve learnt, for anyone in a relationship with an asexual to ask them to put out, even on your birthday, and definitely aphobic to suggest that they seek therapeutic help.
Don't fix yourself, stay in the cult. This behavior is seen in every one of these identity groups (trans, fat, and I guess asexual). It's because many in these groups see others as validation of their choices and if someones betters themself and leaves the group they have an identity crisis. The fatties are the latest to start raging at the "fatfluencers" who are now improving their health with ozempic; calling them traitors and all sorts of things because the lies they tell themselves start to crack. It's even worse for those who detrans cause a lot of times there is no going back.
Regardless; attaching it to the LGBTetc movement is dumb as hell.
Yeah, I don't really get it. Asexual people don't get dragged behind trucks for being asexual. They don't get fired for being asexual. They don't get lower wages. They don't have discriminatory laws passed against them.
It's all about grievance politics and how high you are on the totem pole of perceived grievance.
It's just that lots of people feel lost and meaningless, so they want to be the hero / special one / persecuted one in some way.
People's problem used to be that they were poor, so the left helped them with that.
Now people's problem is that they feel lost and meaningless, so the left helps with that by telling them through identity politics that they're oppressed special snowflakes and all evil comes from white straight men.
It’s literally a lack of sexuality. Why is it lumped in with sexualities?
I told this to my friend one time after she came out as asexual. Almost word for word. A year later she was non-binary and 6 months after that she's now a "man". I should have just said nothing and maybe she wouldn't have fucked herself up on hormones to be part of the tribe and not a "white straight cis Karen."
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What's crazy is she is almost 40.
More stupid even than that even is people calling themselves "demisexual", i.e. not wanting to fuck anything that moves, claiming they're on the "asexual spectrum" and thus LGBT. Motherfucker, nobody gives a single shit that you don't fuck on the first date, you're just an average boring person, it doesn't make you kweer
Yeah, out of all the labels, "demisexual" is the one that most makes me go: "you're just a normal person, and you're simply labeling yourself that to make yourself feel more special and better than others."
It's interesting to note that many of these identity politic labels are actually subtly insulting to the rest of the population.
Demisexual => "everyone else just follows their genitals and goes at it like rabbits. But not me, I'm the only one who cares about the actual quality of my partners."
Non-binary => "everyone else is a boring, stereotypical man or women for whom the stereotypes are accurate. But I'm so special that out of all people, only I don't fit into the stereotypes."
aphobic
I like how this literally translates to "fearless"
It's not a proposed link it's a known side effect (for men at least), to the point that people often quit them for that reason alone.
Fair enough, I don’t know what the research says or how sure they are of the link so didn’t want to overstate it.
I'm talking more personal experience than research=) I did briefly take SSRI, I was told of this side effect in advance, and basically for a couple months I could barely orgasm and had difficulty getting an erection.
"Failure to thrive" is well observed in animals which are deprived of something they need, sunlight, nutrients, social-interaction, etc. Lacking sexual function falls under this umbrella. A person who is not properly socialized is likely to be confused by sexual dynamics and may well become asexual as a result. Before all of existence was mediated, this would have manifested as a hapless romantic, Barry Keoghan's character in banshees of innisherin, for example. His life is unexamined so he is content being the unfuckable weirdo on the island. Nowadays he is pathologised as a women-hating incel if he is oblivious, and an asexual if he isn't.
The barriers and hoops to jump through to be fuckable are vastly higher than any point in history. The amount of context and signalling nuance required for an average-to-below-average looking person to attract a partner is enormous and the resources and signalling of access to resources that people require now, is also vastly higher than ever before.
it's not proposed, it's confirmed. i'm not a SSRI hater, if they help you then go ahead, but they make your dick not work
That may well be the case, but I don’t really know how settled the finding is so didn’t want to overstate it.
Back when I was on anti depressants I started to believe I was asexual. At the time I didn't realize it was the pills tho. Then I stopped taking them and went back to normal again. So it happened to me for sure.
Then I stopped taking them and went back to normal again
Something scary to think about: there is a growing body of evidence that for some as of yet unknown percentage of people taking SSRI these effects are permanent/irreversible.
Oh I don’t need any study to confirm this one - I got off my antidepressants years ago because of this exact reason.
Yep. Went on one in 2012. Within a week I noticed that I was unable to orgasm without serious effort. Switched between meds for a number of years, never saw any changes there, but I was placed on one in 2016 that destroyed my libido for three months. As it is, I've been fully off them for more than five years at this point, and although I can maintain an erection just fine, any sort of orgasm requires a 90 minutes of strenuous activity, almost always culminating in masturbation because women don't enjoy getting fucked for that long.
I mean it's a well known side effect of SSRI's. More than just "some proposed links" it's a fact
Couldn't possibly have anything to do with material reality
Ya it couldn't possibly have anything to do with kids not hanging around people as much as they used to, increasing rates of depression, increasing amounts of time in things that would distract and take them away from sexual thoughts, or just the simple and obvious fucking fact that that a lot of gen z are in their 20s and hitting the point where they're just not going to be as horny as when they were like 15. Materialism is bs cus Marx was cishet.
in their 20s and hitting the point where they're just not going to be as horny as when they were like 15.
wtf why you acting like being in your 20s is like being in your 70s sexually
Lmao that’s what I was wondering too. I think my sex drive really kicked in in my early 20s when I lived away from the watchful eye of my parents. Who is losing their sex drive after 15?? Jeez. That’s sad. Maybe it really is all the depression and SSRIs.
I can't believe someone wrote this and thought it's just normal for 20 somethings to lose their sex drive.
Right? I’m 34 and the only real difference between me now and me at 16 is I don’t have the stamina to go multiple times consecutively but I damn sure still have that one in me, I just need a bit of a break now
"I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was"
-Toby Keith
That song is starting hit me more than I thought it would. My peak is still my peak, but what’s suffering is my stamina. And that’s true for all things, my strength hasn’t diminished at all, but my cardio sure has
Definitely everything you mentioned play a role too but just to chime in with some personal experience, SSRIs definitely can fuck with your libido. I’ve always been a high libido person but when I was on escitalopram my sex drive fucking tanked. Like to the point where the thought of sex repulsed me. When I got off it, my sex drive came back.
Same here, luckily on the way out of my treatment.
some proposed links between SSRIs and lack of sexual function.
These links are not only well known - they are part of acknowledged side effects that are actually listed for many if not most SSRI's. If a particular SSRI doesn't list lack/loss/decrease of sexual function as one of the officially listed side effects it is only because that particular medication hasn't gone through enough testing to warrant it (it will eventually).
Problem is that most people don't realize how bad it can get ...to say nothing of most people just skipping side effects same as people skip software terms of service agreement.
It all comes back to the issue with anti depressants: they are a powerful medication to stop you from killing yourself. It has side effects and they are worth it if the other alternative is suicide. This arithmetic goes out the window when you are not in immediate/actual danger of suicide, it's no longer as clear cut whether it's worth it to take anti depressants. Yeah maybe it's still worth it ....but it's not so certain.
All this before you even get to the other issue which is doctors prescribing anti depressants like it's candy - and some are even getting paid for it haha ...wait that's not so haha.
I'm on SSRIs, and I think my sexual tendency went from barely anything to about nothing. I've kind of wondered if I'm asexual, but a big chunk is admittedly PTSD from sexual trauma, hypervigilance, and probably just a big lack of positive sexual experiences. I've had consenting sex before, but it just felt awkward.
The weird thing, too, is I'm marrying someone who also has PTSD (they're fairly resistant to medication), and it's been very healing to both just be emotionally supportive with each other. We both have a pretty low interest in sex and will be having children for sure, I think that's kind of the only reason she wants sex. We just enjoy being around each other.
So I'll agree that there is a venn diagram that overlaps, but it's still probably not a circle.
It absolutely is the SSRIs every one is taking
I’ve been suffering from PSSD for 14 years thanks to Zoloft
What will definitely be missed here (because you have to pay close attention to see it) is that "asexual" as a term has been massively broadened to the point where it can encompass nearly every single sexuality that isn't merely just I want to fuck everyone and their pet parrot.
Are you a person who doesn't desire to fuck someone until you've established a connection with them? Congratulations, you are asexual, because this means you are demisexual which falls under the asexual umbrella.
Are you a person who sometimes feels very horny and sometimes not? Congratulations, you are asexual, because this means you are aceflux which falls under the asexual umbrella.
Are you a person who easily gets bored with the same sexual partner and craves variety? Congratulations, you are asexual, because this means you are fraysexual which falls under the asexual umbrella.
This can go on and on. When these terms become so mind-bogglingly broad, you can find ways to make Hugh Heffner and Leisure Suit Larry asexual.
Are you a person who easily gets bored with the same sexual partner and craves variety? Congratulations, you are asexual, because this means you are fraysexual which falls under the asexual umbrella.
How is being a cheating sex obsessed slut a form of asexuality in their logic wtf?
1: The same reason why Hippies were so into sex. Rebellion against the current dominant culture.
2: SSRIs
3: Shit in our water and food: microplastics, misc pollutants, take your pick.
4: The actual food that we eat tends to be shittier, and I'm not just talking about junk food, although that's an issue too.
5: The economy is shit and clearly going to get shittier, which isn't exactly conducive to le sexytimes and having babies, especially given the stress
6: Society is a mess, and gender relations have been dynamited
7: Asexual is up there with "Queer" and "Nonbinary" in terms of easy labels to slap on yourself so you don't get excluded from the cool kid's club.
This is the correct answer.
The number one reason is lack of social interaction, everyone behind their computers and phones
Yeah that's true. And when people DO get interaction, they're inexperienced or out of practice...
I wouldn’t be surprised if Discord was created by America’s geopolitical enemies.
For 1, these kids have all been exposed to what used to be called hardcore porn, unsupervised (if they're lucky) at a young age. This is also the reason so many girls are identifying as nonbinary or as men lol.
For 3, I'll take "marinating 24/7 in laundry detergent scents full of PFAs that are going to cause whole new kinds of turbo-cancer in 5-10 years"
8 Young people grow up spending lots of time looking at jaw-droppingly beautiful people on social media / anime shows. And then as adults they're no longer attracted to average people with normal bodies (you know, the type of people who are willing to sleep with them).
I'm not sure it's as black and white as that, at least not for everyone, but I can definitely see the appeal of real life partners being lessened.
Agreed, I see people post an anime girl saying "Goals" and if TV, movies, magazines, and other media wasn't already providing enough unrealistic body images to compare oneself to, I can't imagine what sort of harm comparing oneself to a literal imaginary body does.
The economy is shit and clearly going to get shittier, which isn't exactly conducive to le sexytimes and having babies, especially given the stress
Exactly this. People simply don't have the time or energy to go on dates or have a casual hookup. That coupled with overstimulation via social media, streaming, video games, etc.
the current cool kids' club. in around ten years the tide might well turn on that. and in twenty years I expect a backlash against trans people sparked by feminists who began the transition to male and regretted it.
I identified as bisexual at that age because I thought it would impress the girl I had a crush on. She tried to fix me up with another "bisexual" guy in our class who was doing the same thing for the same reasons, I'm pretty sure. "uhhhh, well yeah I'm bisexual but that guy's not really my type..."
I assume that's what's going on in a lot of these cases too. Being an ally to the lgbtq+ community is cool right now, and this is a way you can be an ally without actually having to kiss another dude. You're also not going to get to kiss that girl you like, but that wasn't going to happen anyway.
What a totally different world young people live in than when I was a teenager
Gotta pretend to be gay now to get in with the women apparently
"Then I'll pretend she 'converted' me and she'll be so flattered she'll HAVE to go out with me! It's the perfect Trojan horse strategy."
The gayest thing you can do objectively speaking is having sex with a woman. Think about it. It is literally a part of the body that EVOLVED to take dicks. Their own structure by nature accommodates dick. Not only that, and this is true I googled it, vaginas can also release baby boys which grow into men. So you are having sex with a potential man making factory as well. Not to mention vaginas store the energy of all dicks that have been inside there so it's basically like someone is slapping a bunch of hotdogs together in a damp cave. You are essentially fucking those ghost dicks alongside her. You are having sex with a man making dick pocket.
Literally is there anything else gayer than this? There isn't.
The straightest thing you can do is call up your boys.
It is scientifically proven that men being around other men increases testosterone. That is the life blood of masculinity if you didn't know. In order to stimulate our testo-production you should embrace your boys in a circle to exchange masculine energy. Make sure you are all holding hands so there is no break in the masculine energy flow. Hold eye contact to establish dominance. Also, I recommend doing this nude and outdoors. Nature is always good, and the public should fear you.
Being nude with your fellow men and seeing one another's muscles allows you to psych up if in a life or death scenario you could either A) take them in a fight or B) they would be useful to you in a 2v2. Once you are done massaging each other and potentially-probably masturbating, you will feel an elevation in your general prowess as a man.
Like a rabid leopard fresh off the kill. You will be ready to yell at women on Discord, drink BANG energy drinks, misunderstand every major theme in American Psycho all while listening to Joe Rogan in no time. Just like a true straight man would.
Bloodhound Gang - I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks (1996)
Why did you think that would impress girls? Bisexual people say that even bisexual girls often don't want to date bisexual guys.
9th grade me wasn’t very smart. This was in the mid-1990s and I was part of the Marylin Manson fanbase that generally thought being bisexual showed your friends how open-minded and nonconformist you were. The girl I had a crush on said she was bisexual, so saying the same things as her seemed like a way in. I also went to a Catholic high school, so identifying as gay or bi at the time was even more of a cool and rebellious act there than it would have been in other places.
None of this was a conscious decision. My underdeveloped brain was so jacked up on teen hormones that I genuinely wanted to be bisexual, despite not feeling any sense of genuine attraction to boys; but in hindsight it was just about looking cool for my friends. Not just that one girl, but mostly that one girl.
this was such a thing & I lived it too
They don't want to date the fruity ones but straight-passing bisexual men get by just fine.
Im the same way, I'm bi but wouldn't date anyone too flamboyant. Bisexual women still like the princess treatment and a lot of bi dudes can't pull that off when they too have the diva personality.
It's not just that. Female bisexuals were the most socially tolerated lgbt for a long time. So it entered into culture that for them it blurs together with being straight and many of them see it as a feminine quality. So for a guy to touch a guy in a similar way they see it as a large turnoff since that is still viewed as fairly different to many. Even if they don't look physically feminine women see it as losing masculinity, whereas they don't see female bisexuality as losing femininity.
Mind you that's changing over time. But that's been common for awhile.
I think there was at least one study that indicates that even knowing that about a man is viewed as a negative by women, in relation to sexual attraction and mate selection
As a legit bi dude, you just made me realize that this is what happened to me when I was on the other side of a similar situation when I was 15 lmao. Dude was perfectly attractive and shut it down as fast as physically possible.
Weird times 100%
That’s honestly funny as fuck dude what the hell lol
An old colleague of mine keeps making social media posts about how proud he is of his asexual daughter. That would be unnerving in any context but there’s a twist: the girl is only ten years old.
Basically kids are being pressured to self id into various sexuality and gender affinity groups from a young age. This combined with a not-so-tacit demonization of majoritarian groups has led to an explosion of boutique identities, most of which are meaningless.
Combine all this with SSRI’s, microplastics, and the normalization of porn-brained behaviors to the extent that sex and romance have been conceptually separated from one another and you get the nightmare that’s currently facing generation alpha.
This actually makes sense.
Ten-year-old me would have picked asexual if I had to pick a label, which children are increasingly pushed to do.
We shouldn’t be surprised by it in a world where 8-year-olds “come out” as gay and parents have parties to announce their 5-year-old’s transition.
It’s just another identity to latch onto instead of having an actual personality, actual hobbies or being a member of an actual community. That explains much of the madness that seems to have enveloped Western society.
Especially since a huge proportion of them still openly say they want sex, enjoy sex and masturbating, desire sexual partners, read and write pornographic fanfic, etc. If I have to read the words “hypersexual asexual” again I’m gonna die
Its a mistake to give minors unrestricted internet access
As someone that grew up with a computer in my bedroom, I would agree. Modding halo Custom Edition was tight tho.
hypersexual asexual
back in my day we just called those people horny virgins
Well we better prepare a coffin for you because you certainly will see it again somewhere
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Even worse that it’s a lack of a sexuality.
That feeling of belonging can be very intoxicating, that said I have no idea how social groups can maintain cohesion by talking about not wanting sex (incels at least go into full social politics delulu)
Eventually they pair off with people most similar to themselves in other non-identity things and split off from the main group once they have shared actionable interests, and then look back at how they got into that main group with deep shame.
I think it's a phase all humans must go through across the generations and the "main group addicting crack" is the only thing that changes over the years
"Why is the generation medicated out of their minds for behavioural problems so fucked up?"
God only knows.
People feel bad about themselves and their bodies and don't take care of themselves and have no energy and are often times on medications for physical conditions that all have a myriad of random side effects
Why can't all these people get a boner
Material conditions win again
It's easier to call yourself Ace than face the fact that you're a massive unfuckable virgin
One thing I’ve noticed is that all the asexual types are never physically attractive.
Or they’re just “weird” or “quirky”- it’s a similar thing with NBs
I’m asked to put a lotttttt of trust into autistic teenagers who were given unrestricted internet access too early
The connection between the explosion of autistic spectrum disorders and bespoke gender/sexual identities is a massive elephant in the room. Somewhere along the line people decided it was “oppressive” to give kids behavioral therapy to help them be normal. The result of this has been an explosion of Tumblr personalities because everybody just has the license to let their weirdness fly loose.
And it’s not even just minors, it’s young adults and some older adults (especially AGP types). And also not just ASD, basically just that any somewhat “odd” behavior can be a sign of some serious mental health condition.
I personally think the main line of treatment for gender stuff should be acceptance treatment to get people to accept themselves and their bodies, since I often think the gender distress is a sign of something more deep seeded or at the least caused by something else going on
Quirky & weird people also tend to do the polycule thing and absolutely rip into anyone that slightly criticizes it.
Seems like they overcorrect on all fronts of sexual activity and none of it seems personally sustainable in the long term.
But hey, that’s life or something, idk.
In my experience, usually poly / polycule arrangements seem to be that a more-attractive person enforces polygamy on some other person(s) who would prefer to be monogamous, but they can't say that because then the more attractive person ends the relationship.
I know that's not true 100% of the time. I know that there exist situation where genuinely everyone is thrilled to be poly. But those are not common, and those don't tend to remain happy for long.
And it's also, like, if you're a well-adjusted person with a job and a social life and hobbies, how on Earth do you have time to maintain romantic relationships in a polycule with 3+ other people? The only way I can see that working is if you're just using each other for sex without really forming a deep meaningful connection.
My old roommate had to sit on the bench while his gf ran around town doing whatever she wanted with whoever. There were “rules” to their open relationship, but they seemed to favor the gf and demoralize my roommate. This relationship went on for 3 years iirc.
It was so infuriating to watch, but god forbid you call it out or else you’re an asshole.
Then one day she came home from a month long vacation, immediately broke up with him, and we never saw or heard from her again. Dude went spiraling into depression, stopped going to work, started doing whippits and OTC meds all day. He was a great guy otherwise who had a rough home life so I called out of work for a few days, bought him an ice cream cone and a copy of skate 3, and just prayed he didn’t do anything dumb whenever I left the apartment. It was a lot of talking through what happened, but it was good to see him slowly crawl himself out of that spot.
Last I heard he’s in a good, stable, monogamous long-term relationship, so I’d like to imagine that the “enforcers” of polygamous relations eventually seal their own fates. But, it takes a lot to even get the victims/partners/whatever to realize it.
In short: I have no sympathy for the enforcers of open relationships, and I agree with your assessment on a personal level. The only reason the gf was even able to have time to run around town banging everyone but her “boyfriend” was because she was from an old money family and her parents paid for everything. And she SUCKED ASS as a person, not a single redeeming quality.
you are such a great friend!
Plenty of unattractive people are fucking. What’s their secret?
Booze
They’re honest with themselves about the caliber of person that is attracted to them.
They don't expect a model to fall in love with them. They accept what they look like and go for people in their league.
Benjamins
Riz
Good personality does go far, go figure
Coke and meth.
I know a couple of smoking hot people who call themselves asexual (I've had sex with both of them lmao)
"Bi until graduation" for the new generation.
Someone claiming they don't like sex after having sex with you isn't the flex you think it is.
That's one possible interpretation, but another possible interpretation is that the asexual people effectively said: "I'm asexual, but you're so hot, I want to experiment sleeping with you anyway, maybe it'll get my engine going."
Without more information we don't know which it is.
Nah it’s just people that “identify” with that entire fucking world.
There was this girl I met in boot camp, she was weird as fuck, but she was probably the most attractive “female of the species” ever.
I’ve noticed that many intentionally make themselves look unhealthy, such as with excessive piercings, tattoos, etc
Like polyamorous people are the least likely people you'd ever want to sleep with
No, I have known people in real life who identified as asexual who were not unattractive "unfuckable virgins." Most people who struggle to find a relationship due to their looks do not identify as "asexual" (neither do they identify as "incel," incidentally) which puts to the lie this notion already.
The guy I knew who identified as asexual had a girlfriend and regularly had sex with her just the same way as people who do not identify that way. (but notably, he did latch onto the identity before his relationships, when he was still a virgin.) Of course it's common for "asexuals" to be sexually active which makes the whole thing that much more nonsensical.
Obviously the whole framing and justification asexuals have to identify as such is nonsense. I'm not questioning that. What I'm saying is that it has to be explained in a grounded way. (obviously, mired in the mindset, they themselves could never do this.)
I can explain what it is, but it's certainly more complicated than what you said. Now of course, what you said can be a factor, and at least partially the explanation in many individual cases: there's no denying that. It could be a combination of being unattractive while also being in an identity centric progressive social culture/context, for instance.
Basically, society in general is bad, alienating, and dehumanizing, and the purpose of progressive identarianism in general is to mask this. (to "make visible" particular identities or oppressed categories, is to invisibilize the totality; how capitalism compromises and destroys our lives in general.) "Asexuals" may be an especially pertinent example, because obviously it's harder for many people to find relationships than it was in the past. They may indeed struggle to find a relationship, and this could be related to their looks. But by acting like they are "asexual" they are just doubling-down on the factors in society potentially responsible for this, and doing anything but acknowledging it. It's tantamount to giving up. (unsurprisingly, the former "asexual" friend I mentioned above was not ugly, but insecure and had been depressed and suicidal.) It is of course the same problem with progressive framing in general, like Feminism.
So, notably, those who identify as asexuals would hate self identified incels, wokes in general despise "incels." (Obviously it's really a hatred of unfortunate, isolated men in modern western society, as evidenced by their pervasive tendency to throw around the term "incel" to men who don't even identify as it. Of course, guys who actually are misogynist, racist, etc. or who take it out on innocents like Elliot Rodger are useful idiots, and conveniently invoked and focused on to justify the framing they'd have anyway)
Of course it's common for "asexuals" to be sexually active which makes the whole thing that much more nonsensical.
I could see a case for not liking sex but doing it anyway because your SO values it and you care for them. I imagine there's some medium ground between "I don't really care for sex at all" and "sex repulses me so much that I cannot engage in it" where both could be considered asexual.
That said, I'm finding it hard to take alot of this stuff seriously because of the ramptant identitarianism. I give individuals the benefit of the doubt, but as a whole all this stuff is difficult to get on board with.
I have known people in real life who identified as asexual who were not unattractive "unfuckable virgins."
I think the interesting question is not "are there asexuals?" but "what is the frequency of people describing themselves as 'asexual' for the wrong reasons?"
I remember once in a discussion on some other very left-wing forum someone posted a thread which began "I think I might be asexual" and I responded with something like "first we should make sure you're asexual" and this caused several people to utterly lose their shit.
Everyone here wants to laugh at a caricature, don’t bring in nuance
😂 Yeah I know, God forbid we actually start to think and comprehend how the development of all these people recently identifying as "asexual" is a consequence of broader and deeper premises in society. (again, they themselves are entirely unconscious and hence couldn't realize this, which is precisely why they identify as "asexual" - but it should still be seen in an impersonal manner.)
Actually by just saying "all asexuals = ugly virgins" one is doing the same thing that they are.
This is what Marx would have said about it:
"...analyzing mystical consciousness obscure to itself, whether it appear in religious or political form." 1843 letter to Arnold Ruge
Man is the world of man – state, society. This state and this society produce religion, which is an inverted consciousness of the world, because they are an inverted world.
Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering.
To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions. The criticism of religion is, therefore, in embryo, the criticism of that vale of tears of which religion is the halo.
A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right
Ted Kaczynski:
Many people today feel weak and powerless (for the very good reason that the System really does make us weak and powerless), and therefore identify obsessively with victims, with the weak and the oppressed. That's part of the reason why victimization issues, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, and neocolonialism have become standard activist issues.
The System's Neatest Trick
The point: whatever the appearance of the asexual person in question, their suffering caused by society is legitimate. (it's just the way they have made sense of it is wrong.) Just saying "they're ugly virgin losers" like the guy I replied to is fruitless, because instead it's necessary to see how the problems in society they are a product of and suffering due to, and their own inverted framing (which only paradoxically could justify that same society) are interrelated. This requires a certain level of consciousness that neither people who want to kick others less fortunate than them while down, or reified-losers like "asexuals" happen to have.
I'm gonna sound like a total creep for saying this next sentence, but hear me out.
There are a lot of very attractive young women who consider themselves non-binary or asexual. Like...a lot.
Do you know they are though? Like the “regretful sex = rape” crew I could see people who had sex they didn’t enjoy thinking they’re asexual.
I'm sure fake asexuals exist, but there are also asexual people who just derive zero pleasure or excitement or horniness from sexual actions, whether giving or receiving. Even if they think their partner is attractive and the partner knows what they're doing in bed.
It's like the wires aren't connected. You rub them in a place that should feel good, that at least should elicit some reaction, and it just genuinely doesn't seem to do anything for them. It's like you're rubbing their forearm.
Hyper sexualization of teenagers on the internet gives lots of people the ick during their formative years.
If you're a regular high school girl and you're in classes with other 15 year olds who twerk in booty shorts for grown ass creepers on tiktok you probably wind up with a very warped view of sexuality.
Because nothing is fun anymore
I think we forget how incredibly sexualised society has become ,even in the last 10/20 years. I think if youre being born into this cauldron and dont feel you have the energy it demands as standard, you'd probably be susceptible to taking the ace path.
I honestly have no problem with it. The degree to which sex is pushed in our face 24/7 largely in the interests of capital is disgusting, having the courage to say "this isnt me" is actually quite noble to me.
Yeah. A few years ago you'd basically be treated inferior for not being in a relationship for too long. Saying you are asexual was likely born as a shield against that.
I think we forget how incredibly sexualised society has become ,even in the last 10/20 years.
huh? we have become pornografied in the last 10-20 years, but definitely not more sexualized.
that's part of it but it's tough to put into words. i've literally had to teach women how to have sex, how to explore or position yourself to the point that that she can fuck herself if she wants, face to face interaction, comfy rather than painful (like doggy style) penetration etc. you'd think all of this would click into place from pure animal instinct or something, but i need to depornify people's brains before they can enjoy their "trust building" activities since they want to immediately emulate what they see on the internet.
yeah i know there's no way to prove what i'm saying but the amount of women who think it's supposed to hurt or something's going wrong, like how else do you explain that
It’s a way to be a incel but you get to be part of the in crowd instead of shit on.
Ssris and sexual trauma
I think that in our incredibly sex positive culture, people have been led to believe that every sexual encounter they will have is a good thing, and that if they have bad or awkward sex it means something is wrong, either with their partner or with themselves.
I didn't like the sex, that means I'm actually asexual, not just that I had bad sex.
Sex is usually great, but it's not always great and that's ok. Doesn't mean someone is asexual because they had bad sex and didn't like it that one time. Just means they had bad sex.
My hot take on this is that western culture is way too obsessed with sex and sexuality and the endless categorisation is a by product of that.
Not everyone wants to fuck all the time at every stage of their life. Hormones, stress, responsibility, resources, health… so many factors play into it that it’s really strange to expect it to be a standard that everyone experiences the same. Hell, even the seasons can play into it! I’m never so frisky as I am in spring!
I feel like we could do this for anything if we obsessed about it hysterically enough. Someone could say the normal, healthy amount to shit is once a day and everyone would break off into their respective shitter categories. Do you shit once a week or 8 times a day? Do you take an hour or pop it out in seconds? Except it doesn’t happen with shit, because despite being taboo, it doesn’t have the same burden of expectation and obligation and historical weight behind it that fucking does. People are actively invested in how much other people fuck, because it tells them something about themselves, and about their own future opportunities.
A society that’s obsessed with sex sees anything other than being obsessed with sex as a deviance from the norm.
Because you can't fuck your cell phone
At least, not since they took away the 3.5mm jack
Not with that attitude at least.
I'm skeptical that its real. Remember demi-sexual, which was "girls who maybe just want to have a boyfriend and AREN'T trying to have sex with everyone they meet"?
Its the same thing. Mostly just girls with normal sexual development who have been convinced they're abnormal.
Part of it is the combination of our determination to label and pathologize everything with our equally strong determination to insist that everything is a spectrum. I'm sure we're all familiar with how that's manifested itself with things like ADHD or OCD, and it's the same here. There are undoubtedly people at the extremes of the spectrum for whom the label was originally created and to whom it applies, but in the same way that ADHD gets salami-sliced to "kinda antsy when told to sit in a classroom for hours on end" and OCD to "somewhat more fastidious than the guy with ADHD," asexuality goes from the very few people with the libido of a depressed panda to just "people who aren't comfortable with casual sex" and hypersexuality/sex addiction goes from the very few people who compulsively masturbate or something to "habitual horndogs."
A few things seem to work as an explanation:
(1) Some people just being less horny than others interacting with points below
(2) Rising social isolation and anxiety
(3) A general reduction in the rate, and delayed age, at which people do "adult" things including having sex and forming relationships
(4) Having sex often being a nightmarish process, due to dating apps, other people being maladjusted etc. etc.
(5) A new way to avoid the stigma of these when they lead people to not have much sex.
Because they have realized that celibacy is based and pleasing unto the LORD.
I do personally think that most of this comes down to extremely toxic gender relations and increasingly puritanical visions of what sex should be.
They’re not. They just have mental issues surrounding sex so they don’t even wanna be involved because of the “pressure”. There might be the rare exception that have a physical abnormality that causes them to not desire sex, but the idea that humans can be “asexual” is absurd. We’re hardwired to want sex just like every other creature. It’s hilarious that “asexuality” is listed as a sexuality, despite it being a lack of sexuality. It’s all just a ridiculous joke. I seriously hate how ridiculous this world has become. let’s be honest tho, it’s mostly westernized nations; altho as we all know because of recent events, humans can be dumb, easily manipulated, influenced, and malleable. The internet has now kinda been shown to be EXTREMELY influential since people are easily influenced (e.g. the recent Amazon tribes having access to the internet)
Modern dating sucks, for both sexes. The "you don't owe anyone anything" culture has been perpetuated by dating apps and social media. People ghost each other, cheat on their partners, date/sleep with multiple people at the same time without telling their partners (social media says this is okay, but it is still a rude and inconsiderate way to treat other people, and, anecdotally, not something most people tolerate in practice), break up in rude and humiliating ways, pollute the public discourse on sexuality with any shit that enters their head, and generally don't treat dating partners like human beings, since they see others as disposable. Daring to challenge this state of affairs gets you labeled as a regressive bigot. See my flair for evidence of how pervasive this type of thinking has become.
Young people can see that it sucks. They are bombarded by tiktoks, youtube videos, and instagram reels, of mentally ill attention seekers making a video whenever they have their daily shit take on the mechanics of gender relations.
Naturally, zoomers and gen a see this discourse, understandably don't want to be a part of it, and immediately take their ball and go home. I don't blame them.
SSRI's, stimulant medication, porn addiction and plummeting living standards resulting in increasingly transactional expectations within romantic relationships... there.. solved.
Among men, at least, declining t levels can't help
Hormone disorders due to pollution. A focus on identity from liberal education systems. The evolution of American narcissism.
There's also this philosophical question about sexuality and the male gaze.
It's absolutely NOT because being white and straight is considered bad and uncool. It can't be that. It's simply not possible. It's not a trend or fad and there's no evidence or science to support that. It was just under-reported in the past. Like autism and other mental disorders. There is nothing to see here. Mods please delete /s
Birth control literally made me asexual and no one wants to hear it.
I wasn't born this way and I don't think I belong in the LGBTQ community by virtue of being uninterested in sex, because you can still date people if you are uninterested in sex. It doesn't describe who you are attracted to at all. It pisses me off people feel so entitled to LGTB spaces because they deviate from the norm slightly (and not even, asexuality seems encouraged by many religions - whether it's actually happening or not is another discussion).
Birth control destroyed my libido and honestly changed my brain too.
I’d rather wear a condom than have my girlfriend go on hormonal birth control
It is fortunately and unfortunately one of the least invasive, "easiest", options for a myriad of gynelogical and hormonal conditions.
Birth control destroyed my libido and honestly changed my brain too.
That sucks, sorry to hear it. And yeah, anything that goes against what at face value seems to be female interests gets shut down hard. (Even though you're just the messenger, it's not like you're the cause of birth control doing so much damage, so you speaking out obviously is in women's interests. But yeah, often the messenger just gets shot..)
asexuality seems encouraged by many religions
I'm not a religious scholar, but it seems to me that religious is mostly "no casual sex / sex before marriage" rather than asexuality, which is different. I also don't think that the bible itself says "priests can't marry", and Rabbis for example can mawrry.
Micro plastics in the dangly bits
Antidepressants decrease libido, western world has decided the drug everybody with capacity for awareness instead of address crumbing ecosystem and economy. ipso facto, lots of asexuality in the youth.
I mean, have you seen their options?
I mean from the few I knew irl they still fuck, a lot, so I was confused why they're asexual.
Capitalists have made having sex a luxury
Last week Emmanuel Macron announced a set of incentives that he said was bound to encourage young people to breed – as if the right combination of tax breaks will crack some code and release a flood of babies.
Being able to afford rent on a house is a prerequisite for having babies, so he's not wrong.
I call myself aroace, even though it is more nuanced than that, simply because it usually shuts people up when they want to keep talking about relationships and sexuality (topics I really don't care about).
It's an easy label.
All of the microplastics have turned their genitals off.
Top 3 reasons:
SSRIs
Lack of human interaction
Every eligible human person you do interact with is on SSRIs and/or physically repulsive
Microplastics.
On a more serious note, I have a feeling that the slow-rolling malaise brought about by the realization that your future is going to be less fruitful and more difficult than your parents or grandparents has a psychological effect on people, and it materializes in many ways. Asexuality, or just a low-rumbling depression and apathy toward sexual gratification, may be some of them.
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