Stepparents of reddit, what is something you really want to say out loud but for whatever reason keep to yourself?

MOD NOTE: It's great everyone is getting these thoughts off of their chests, but we are still enforcing the rules. We don't call kids names, ever.

Set boundaries for your kid and he will be happier

“I wish I could tell you all the harmful things your mother did to both you and your dad over the years. Things you were too young to understand. I wish you knew these things so your perception of your parents isn’t manipulated by the lies you’ve been fed.”

I don’t feel safe around your children’s mother.

I don’t want her near me or my home.

I don’t want to be a topic of conversation or a way she can manipulate us.

I wish she would leave your family alone, let me just get a look in at having a relationship with your family.

I wish she didn’t have so much impact on me.

A lot but I feel like I’d need a burner account, lol.

I raised this child 80% of the time on my own during Covid. She is attached to me. I want a say in how she is educated and parented damn it! All in all compared to a lot of folks on here I have it easy, BM is calm and SO is great but they just don’t get education and I’m in education! Let me do it!

Your kids' horrible behavior is due to you making a dumb decision with 2 different men, and you continuously making excuses for their actions. Not everyone is out to get your kid's, they are disrespectful, entitled, and you don't discipline them properly.

I love you so much, you're an amazing woman, and I wish I met you 9 years ago, but recently have been wishing I never met you

I wish you actually parented him consistently.

I wish you’d stop giving him the chance to lie to you.

I wish you’d stop believing his stupid fucking lies. I wish you’d do what you need to do when it comes to his responsibilities around the house; stare at him as he does them. Otherwise he just doesn’t fucking do them, then he lies to you about doing it, you don’t verify he’s done it, and then one of us gets stuck doing it and it ruins my fucking day.

I wish you’d parent him at his age of responsibility, which is like 7, not 14. I wish his privileges matched his level of maturity and responsibility.

I wish you’d actually parent your fucking child and teach him life skills rather than excusing his bullshit behavior so we don’t have to have an awkward and uncomfortable conversation when he turns 18.

I hate living with your past and bad choices shoved in my face every. Single. Day.

I dont miss your children when they aren't around

BE A PARENT, because stepkids so often resent stepparents already. Please don’t make me be the bad guy. Be consistent. Have expectations. Address the hard stuff (like finding weird porn on their devices). We are a TEAM, so I expect your full presence instead of leftovers when dealing with the kids.

that i know i’m the better parent compared to both bio mom and dad

Your kids are not perfect

I really wish you didn't "stick your dick in crazy". Twice. Also, I count down the minutes until they go to their mom's. I love the life we have on the "off" weeks.

You are a terrible Mother and I count the days until your child graduates from High School so we can block you forever. Heal yourself and go the fuck away.

I DON’T WORK FOR YOU!

“I really love when you accidentally call me mom.” When either of the littles say this on accident we all have a little giggle about it. It makes me feel really loved.

You can’t really complain that you don’t get to spend enough time/quality time with them if you don’t insist on being involved in all areas of their life, including decisions made on their behalf regarding education, extracurricular activities and medical care simply because you don’t want to rock the boat with HCBM. 🤷🏻‍♀️

“I don’t want to hear anymore about how divorce is hard on the children <waah waah>. ENOUGH already. Someone please acknowledge that it’s just as hard, if not worse, for the partners/spouses of divorced parents. No one feels sorry for us.”

Your kid is not welcome in our bedroom. Ever. Get him OUUUUTT

As much as I like your kids there's so many aspects of them I also don't like and ill never love them like I do our own son. Sometimes I wish he was the first baby for both of us because every first experience we have with him is mildly tainted by the thought that it's not your first ever but I just try not to think about it.

“I’m not the dumbass who mated with that wildebeest”

Now I’m an older SM-been with DH for nearly 20yrs so I’ve dealt with a LOT more.

And for the last several years BM wasn’t around much but yet we had to coddle her every time she was around.

I was fed up with having to make so many changes to accommodate her🙄

i don’t sleep the night before our time starts and i find great relief when they go back to the other parents house

I would never want primary custody of the kids. I don’t want to be the one responsible for them while he works.

I don’t care about any of their school or sports stuff

No I don’t want to look at pictures of them from whatever bs your ex sent

When they leave I feel like our house is finally back to normal

Your ex is literally a walking thumb. It grosses me out that you dipped into that. 🤮

I wish SD didn't exist. 

That my life after remarriage has been a massive disappointment.

Your daughter is just like your ex-wife in every single way.

I wish you’d been as smart as I was and didn’t have children with someone even though you knew it was wrong at the time

I love him but I don't miss him like you do. It's not parental love. It saddens me that we won't be able to have our own child because we can't afford one due to you already having one so I will always be childless. Sometimes I'm okay with that, other days I'm not.

This is never my kid and I rather to give my time money and love to a cat. Stop thinking I should treat the kid as my family, it is your debt from your old family.

Yes, I love my bio that I carried and raised alone for 7 years, and that im closer to than almost anyone in this world more than I'll ever love your bio son that I met when he was 8. He doesn't give 2 shits about me really, either. He misses his mom that he hasn't seen in 6 years, and he knows I'm not her. She may be a shitty drug addict who had her kids taken away by dcf, but.. she's still his mom, and he misses her. He's not a bad kid. We just don't have a bond. My son is the deepest, most unconditional love of my life. If you stop being my husband, he will still be my son. Stop expecting me to love yours like mine. I don't, and I likely ever will because I don't love anyone like that. Sorry, not really sorry.

"Your mother is a monster."

(To my SKs)

Your kids have fucking terrible manners. How has it never occurred to neither you nor their mother(s) that “please” and “thank you” are basic things to teach your offspring.

And it’s literally insane to me that your teenagers don’t do chores or have any household responsibilities.

This is the reason I’m not rushing to buy a house with you.

PS. Your male dog fucking sucks too (the female is cool- I adore her). I have zero desire to spend any time with a screeching, 125lb adult husky who isn’t housebroken. Fuck that shitty, miserable dog.

It took me six years to say it, but I said, "I care about your [adult] child but I don't like her. I don't think I ever will."

I wish I could freely say one negative thing about your children without having to prepare my battle armor for War. I listened when you went off (like you were leading the church choir) on me about my kids.

When it was relevant: Also it is OK to ask (file) your ex for child support. He can't be around any less for his kids or hate us more than he already does. Let him be pissed, I have my battle armor on, stop handing out olive branches, my wallet needs a break.

I wish we could take you three in for full custody because we actually care about your well being and you guys are not going to be little forever. Your mother betrayed your father in the worst of ways and left him for dead. I was the best friend of your mother and told her that she needs to not do what she was doing and in doing so, she hurt me too. She gave up life with a good man and went to become a woman who just wants to party and not have any consequences of her actions.

I want to show you how marriage should be. And not what your mother believes it to be. Marriage is compromise, hard work, and love. I extend that love to you guys because i practically raised you. I comfort you when you have nightmares, when you are sick, and when you are angry with the world because you had a bad day.

I love you three so much it hurts. I welcome you every weekend even when I have work because I know your mother would keep dropping you off at other family members places because she’s ‘tired all the time because she’s a single mother’. I’m tired too, but I don’t show it because you deserve to see stable parents in your lives.

Never doubt that I and your father love you so much and your bio-mom knows that and she despises us because of it. She will keep fighting us to keep you away because she doesn’t want you guys to be happy like we are. And for that I hate her so much for it.

And the last thing I hope you know someday, is that your mother almost succeeded in killing your father just because she didn’t want the consequences of her cheating actions to come to life. She wanted to have him dead because she believed that if she were to become a widow, she would finally have everything she wanted. But guess what, she never will. Her selfishness and narcissistic behavior will be what will end her eventually. Just know that my doors will always be open, because you three are worth it.

I would like to sit down with DH and BM and SCREAM at the top of my lungs: "PARENT THE MOTHERF*CKING KIDS Y'ALL CHOSE TO MAKE!!!!! NO ONE ELSE is going to do it for you!!!!!!"

The comments here are absolute gold! I love it here!

NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR MOM (to my stepdaughter and from what my stepson says she doesn't ever call or visit her mom anyway) yet she goes out of her way to bring her up no matter what.

They will never be my family and I will never want to spend holidays, Christmases etc together. I'd prefer if it was just us always or if I was on my own

I am happy when they aren't home.

I will never put them above my or your health/happiness/whatever. They are not even in my top 5 of people.

I sometimes wish they'd still live with their mother.

I will never ever let them use my car.

I feel all of this minus having a baby with my SO. I do hate when my SO calls my dog my SK sister. Like no. Biologically, no, but also emotionally no. I can't imagine if I actually had a baby how I would feel. Just the pets make me feel the ick. The ick feeling is real.

I relate to you.

Mine would be

"Your kid is not mine. I don't get anything from having him around, he's just a person I put up with. A roomie I didn't ask for or choose (and I'm sure I'm the same for him). I don't get serotonin from being with him, I don't look at him with loving eyes, I don't have years of positive memories associated with him...

He's just a kid, and he's a good kid, but if I had the option I wouldn't choose to have him in my life (and i'm sure he feels the same way about me). I try to get along with him because I love you, but I'm not trying too much either, because then it hurts too much when he rejects me or ignores me out of nowhere, and then I'm supposed to be understanding cause he's a teen and his parents are divorced, etc. Nope, I'm not willing to understand, I don't need to put up with that. I'm understanding and compassionate with myself first of all. I'd rather just not expect anything from him and not being invested in any way.

His personality and mine are not compatible, and I wished it wasn't like that but it is. Even if we get along in general, the truth is he's draining, he demands too much attention and he's over stimulating. I can only feel good if I don't interact too much with him. It's a shame that this means I currently can't interact that much with you either.

I'm not in this relationship for him, I'm only here for you. Him being important to you doesn't make him equally important to me. Him being a main focus on your life, doesn't mean I'll have the same perspective. Me understanding your circumstances are difficult doesn't mean I'll allow my needs to be ignored. He's a priority to you, not to me.

Oh and I'd love to never hear anything about your ex again. Knowing that you have a family with her/you're part of her family in a way, makes me feel kinda miserable, so I'd like to pretend they don't exist, thank you ❤️"

My husband and his ex had a stillborn. He confessed to me he felt relieved. They werent a couple, they were just fcking. After that she felt "so depressed" she moved in without being asked to, and he didnt know how to get her out of his house. I want to scream at him "that was life giving you a get out of jail card and you just had to throw it away by getting her pregnant again"

I popped my top today and told my SO “this is why I never want to go anywhere together with y’all because your kids are bad and they don’t listen. Clearly no one is correcting this behavior consistently and I’ve had enough.“ He needed to go and pick something up today but needed my car but can’t drive my car…I told him I’ll either go get it on my own (and face the Facebook marketplace guy alone) or he can drive with them in his car SEPARATELY. I didn’t even know all that was in there…and I just said it so I guess I must’ve been keeping it in the subconscious and needed to say it 👀

We need to be on the same page about what is and isn't allowed because I'm sick of being the "mean stepmom" and having to sit through you explaining away SK4s bullshit behavior while simultaneously being hard on SK2

I wish you pulled out in college.

I really wish you used a condom with someone you didn’t love or like for the chance we could’ve had at a family without the extension of BM baggage. I know you love your kid so much and I completely understand that but I hate thinking about the what ifs and the freedom we’d have.

Bio dad is a selfish prick that only thinks of himself. After being with bio mom for 7 years. I guarantee there’s not one day of his life that I impact. But this guy impacts my life weekly.

You dedicated your entire life to bringing another man’s child into the world, and now I’ve been manipulated by false love as a means to use me for financial support, so now my life revolves around your decisions. I have made no impact on your life and I am not the true love of your life. You didn’t make those intimate decisions with me. All the stresses in my life revolve around your past relationship. I have the responsibility but none of the pride to make it worthwhile.

It makes me sound horrible, and maybe it is horrible and selfish of me to think that way, but I guess this is why we have these subreddits.

Your kids and your parents talk too damn much! Oh never mind I told him his parents do and he agreed. So I would like to scream that his kids talk too much! It’s like his family does not understand silence is ok. Every minute does not have to be filled with talking. Ugh sorry to rant!

I don't like them at all, they are entitled and rude and spoiled and such behavior disgust me to no end.

I hate whenever we have my SK. It does nothing but stress me out. You have this biological connection, that I will never have with SK. I'm at the point to where I can barely tolerate SK, and I honestly think they are going to be the reason we end up divorced.

“I wish you would just pay child support and stop getting SS or let stepdad adopt him.”

^ I know that’s harsh and evil but, imo, my spouse isn’t an involved father. He gets SS and dumps him on me. Frankly I’m tired of it because SS has behavioral issues and has a low IQ so he has trouble with certain tasks (I also have three kids myself that need my attention). I don’t want to deal with taking care of SS because his dad can’t be bothered. Then my spouse gets frustrated with SS because of his behavior and will lash out at him which creates tension in the household. Like why get him if you’re going to hide in the room, ignore him and then blow up on him when he does something stupid like peeing on the floor and playing in it? He knows how he is. Either accept it or don’t get him anymore. I’m tired of being a baby sitter. SS should be coming over to visit his dad, NOT me. Ugh. Rant over.

Mine just a lot to say to BM. I’m very truthful with DH

I will probably never be used to having the kids over. I'll probably hate it every time. I'll probably never see them as family the way you want me to. I care about them, but I'm not sure if I love them or if I ever will. I'm not here for the kids; I'm here for you.

I should say that I do the work. I'm kind to the kids and try to build relationships with them. It's just always going to be work, and not something I look forward to.

It hurts so much when you say I'll never be as important as they are.

No SD, you can’t join the military after having been committed to a mental institution, twice. Please start having realistic expectations of what your future is going to look like. We know you’re not going to graduate with a 4.0 and go to nursing school right after, please stop lying to your grandparents. Getting married right out of high school is the dumbest idea and your marriage will fail, you are turning out to be exactly like your pathetic mother. I regret spending all my hard earned money and time on you when we first met. I can’t wait to not have to hide that we went on vacations. Yes, we did go to Vegas and went all out even though we said we don’t have money to pay for the ugly ass class ring from a school you don’t even go to anymore. And yes, I am watching everything unfold with a big bag of popcorn.

After my step daughter blamed me for starting her own eating disorder due to me counting calories I wish I could tell her that her mother is the one constantly calling me fat

" Your mom has lied and mentally abused/ manipulated you and your sibling your entire life... why are you so forgiving? She put you in so many unsafe situations and has caused so much damage. She refuses to be part of the solution. Refusing to pay for child support or things that are necessary and purchase elaborate gifts/ fun things/ treats is manipulative and unhealthy...The reason we 'can't get along' is because she refuses to even try and communicate or take responsibility. It's not because I haven't tried hard enough or been understanding. I could only take so much before I set my own boundaries." The list could go on and I'll never air any of it out to them, but man it's hard to cope with. It's been 10 years... luckily the end of parallel parenting is near.

I don’t miss her at all. I count down every minute that she goes to her mom’s. I don’t want to co-sleep with you both, it’s not that I’m giving up on the relationship but I want to prioritize my sleep over your feelings. It’s not my fault that you chose to get your cheating ex pregnant. Fuck owing her a kid, you should’ve told her to have a baby with the guy she was cheating on you with. Everytime you tell me that you miss your kid, I want to ask are you confident in leaving her mom? Because you made the choice to kick her out and leave her. You could’ve made the choice to stay with her and see your kid everyday. But noooo, as soon as you drop her off, sometimes you’re a different person and you mope about her. I get it. I’m trying to but I never feel like I’m enough. I feel like I’m just here so you’re not lonely. I hate feeling jealous of a toddler sometimes, it makes me feel evil.

As much as I want to I won't love my SK as I love my own kids.

Stop telling him he's a good boy when in fact he is a jerk and a bully.

So many thoughts without much said. I avoid the obvious most of the time.

I found your Reddit and know all the nasty shit you say, the crazy you talk, and so much more. 😉 The truth will come out one day. Watch your step.

They don't have a bright future, accept it, relax, throttle back on your parenting efforts.

Your over attachment to your kids turns me off. You see them just as much as BM if not more, when you miss them when we have our alone time together it bothers me and makes me feel like not enough. Whenever we have them everything revolves around them and it’s exhausting and I feel uncomfortable with them hanging off us. You baby them and they are way too old for their behaviours. You over share way too much with your oldest and it makes me feel like you see her on a different level than your child, like she’s your best friend and wiser than she is. Please stop sharing so much personal stuff with her and talk about your feelings and sorrows with me your girlfriend who should be the one you talk to about stuff like that.

We’re currently having some major issues with entitlement so it’s tempting to say “You’re lucky your dad adopted you, so I’d be more grateful if I were you.” I never would though, because it’s too callous to say to a kid.

Or “I gave up raising my child near my friends and family for your benefit.” Sometimes I want to scream that at her when she’s having a fit about not getting yet another pointless thing she’s demanding (like makeup…in elementary school). It was my choice though and I shouldn’t put that on her, so I hold it in.

I wish I could tell him that I literally hate his kid. I hate when she’s here. She’s the most disrespectful, entitled brat I’ve ever had to be around and her hygiene is disgusting and it’s gross. I know it’s not her fault because neither of her parents actually parent her but I can’t help but despise her and hate when she’s around.

I wish BM was completely absent or dead. Having SK full time would be so much easier and better.

"That the only reason I'm here anymore is for the kid I've raised for almost ten years. That relationship means more to me than ours." Oops.

I’m so tired of living with your poor decisions daily. I wish I felt guilty for being resentful and selfish but I’m not because we deserved a life without all the added issues and pressure. Also a question I wish I could ask is why do you parent sk out of guilt and obligation instead of walking away like you wanted to from the beginning? You don’t even know he’s yours and refuse to do a paternity test bc you’re scared of the results.

Stop complaining about BM to me. You’re the one that was with her for 4 years, moved to multiple apartments, and had a kid with her.

I dread SK visiting because you expect me to somehow right all the wrong that you and BM have created in this kid. She’s really not a horrible kid but I hate that you have a kid with someone else.

that is didnt sign up to be a parent at all, i dont wanna parent your kids at all, when they come not in specific days It makes my day worse!

Why did you get that woman pregnant?! Once is an accident but two times (8 years apart!) was a stupid mistake on your part.

I wish I never had my first baby with you.

I will never consider your kids to be real siblings to my baby.

I could happily never see your kids again and I wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

It’s not my fault your kid has mental issues.

It’s not my fault his mom is a loser who chose drugs over him.

Your 18 year old has been manipulating the shit out of you for 6 years and will continue to do this. This is who he is. It’s not a phase.

I've done so well ignoring your toxic ex overstepping (b/c you do it too) it's less of an ulcer for me this way

I've ignored and gracefully tried to redirect the way she's indoctrinated you and the children. ( is. Racism, religious intolerance...how tf can a 5yo say she hates Jesus...when none of us are practicing Catholic/Christian??)

The blatant attitude/disrespect and manipulation would NOT be tolerated if they were our/my children. ( ie. Haha, your face is messed up...but 1hr earlier "buy me shoes". Dad does xyz...when I'm trying to tell them NOT to do xyz cuz it'll piss dad off)

I am 110% on their side....but when they're scolded even when I try to protect them..I'm still the bad guy.

I love DH and the kids dearly but holy fuck I'm not ready for them to hit puberty.

My life would be so much easier if sd took her issues and lived with her mother. The 2 of them could be miserable together and compete to see whose life is hardest. I wouldn't have to deal with the issues she creates.

Is it worth it?

I would love to tell my husband that his child is a brat and a manipulator and that if it were up to me he would have never came to live with us. He thinks he can get away with anything and when told no he continues to do whatever he wants age 15M. When he lived with his granola mom he was given everything he wanted they lived off of welfare unlimited food stamps and housing. But with us we struggle from time to time and he has no boundary of what is mine is not his. If he finds it he thinks its finders keepers.

I wish you would stop using the death of your daughter as an excuse to be completely absent from your other 2 daughters lives. Maybe she was taken from you because you took her for granted like take everyone else in your life for granted; maybe she was a lesson for you to love and cherish the daughters you have left on this earth.

Your mom is a very harmful narcissist who refuses to admit anyone in her family might not be perfect unless she’s the one insulting them and pointing out what’s wrong. She humiliates me in Spanish thinking i don’t understand it, and she thinks she can talk to whoever however she wants. She’s teaching your daughter that she can violate people’s boundaries and she will be supported when she denies committing these crimes. Your daughter harmed us both individually on separate occasions and when we tried to get her to realize the seriousness and gravity of what she did your mom rushed in to undermine our parenting by denying her access to a proper therapist and mental evaluation to protect her own image and fragile ego. I don’t want your daughter to potentially struggle with a serious presentation of ASPD or OAD because your mom has no boundaries.

Your kids going to get someone pregnant at 17. I don’t trust him. His stories are absolutely ridiculous! I am not spending another dime on him. Teach him not to fricken lie please!!! I am done completely with him. I have checked out .

I wish you’d left a bullet in the gun your ex put to her head. The kids would have been better off. G isn’t going to get anywhere in life. They’re purely about clout. I’ve shown them how to improve their reading, and they don’t utilize it. They’re exhibiting anti-social behaviors; and mimicking their bio’s anti-social behaviors. They aspire to deliver babies because they “want to be the first person to hold the baby.” Thus, intentionally robbing a mother of a first, and special moment with her newborn. I don’t trust the kid for a litany of reasons. The nail in the coffin was lying about me to you when I’m standing a mere 5 feet away. G will make us grandparents before the end of high school. Their end of high school isn’t going to be because they graduated. It’s a good thing for the women who could have had them there to deliver. Nothing you’ve been teaching or preaching is going to stick. If it was going to, you wouldn’t be still having the same issue about respect and treating people nicely that you’ve been having since pre-school. B doesn’t get near enough recognition or praise as they deserve. They’re the one who’s going to be wildly successful in anything and everything they do. For the love of god, teach them independence and basic problem solving. At this rate, no one is going to survive as an adult. And they need to learn that it’s not okay to have everything done for you, nor will answers always be provided. I look forward to them leaving for visitation. Although I know what the return entails, I’m finally at peace in their absence. It’s an amazing feeling not having to answer the never-ending, impressively asinine questions they walk RIGHT past you to ask me. When I went out of town for the weekend, I missed you, but definitely not them. I was late coming home because I was dreading being around one in particular. Freaking stand up for yourself to your ex. Call her out on her atrocious behavior. Not everything she does will come out in the wash in court. I dread being the babysitter for the summer because I’m tired of dealing with the asshole. I’m agreeing to it so you and I can rub it in ex’s face that she’s incapable of do the basics. But for me, Im doing it to remind her that I have everything that she wants and then some. I’ve absolutely given up because I would otherwise lose my mind. My kid is grown and I had my one and done for a reason. I fell in love with you, and married you because I’m crazy about you. You just happened to have kids. I married you. Not your kids. I appreciate you not expecting me to BE a parent to them. I’m happy to help. But I’m not attached.

Yesterday I posted on a FB mom forum asking if I was selfish for not wanting “his” kids for Mother’s Day and just spending it with our son. Well nearly every mom thought I was a disgusting awful person and my husband should leave me because I don’t love my stepsons as much as my own. And I married him knowing he had kids and I should take them on as my own. 

Well I want to say screw you all crazy moms! will never love those kids like I love my own and I actually count down the days/years that they don’t come to my house every weekend. They also will never see me as a mother figure either. We got married when they were/are teenagers. 

I wish you'd tell your ex wife that I'm not the only reason you don't want SS18 here, that you also don't want him here. I wish you'd tell your ex MIL that she is a vile excuse for human flesh who shouldn't have the dignity of breathing the same air as the rest of us here on planet Earth and fully stand up to her, or at least back me up, instead of being silent when I stand up to her. You look like a coward when you just let her act up. You also need to not say "I know I'm not a good parent," like it's a badge of honor and be a freaking parent to your kids. Your son will turn out to be a crappy adult because of you, BM, your mom, and your ex MIL spoiling and coddling him. Your daughter will be a good adult in spite of you all, and maybe my influence helped her be better.

Parenting because you are in fear your children will pick the other house isn't parenting.

I enjoyed our life better when I had my own place and a known schedule with the SKs. I no longer feel in control of my life and my home and am spiraling. I feel like a third wheel in my own life.

Something to the effect of: “as much as I am capable of loving you, I am capable at times of resenting you almost as much for ever having a child (and not learning your damn lesson staying) with that insane person”

Centering all of your attention on SS every time he visits is teaching him the wrong things.

Don't complain about BM allowing him to sleep in her bed (he's 8yo) when visiting her place, but then allow him to do the same (even though it's rare) at your place. Complaining about the behavior that you help model is a moot point.

I love you more than them. You love them more than me. And they love you and their mothers more than me. And that sucks.

I treat your kid like my own for the sake of their childhood, but your first kid will not be in my will nor will I financially support them past 18. Everything I worked for in my life will go to my bio-child and I feel no shame.

That the weeks my SD aren’t here are better than when she is (we have a week on, week off schedule). We have a routine and flow and when she comes it throws it off. Her behavior and attitude and “all about me and my comfort” expectations throws things off for our other 3 kids. Also, the drama of coparenting with her mother is literally the only stressful thing in our lives. Everything else runs smoothly.